DOUBLE DOUBLE TOIL AND TROUBLE, SMOKE THIS JOINT AND GET IN TROUBLE! By: Zombie Zane

Heya Dead End Horror sheep that tell people you work somewhere and really don’t as you eat every hamburger in sight! What’s good? Whatta weekend here at DEH! We had Sasha Slaughter running around in a drunken state and we had A HUGE comeback win by my New York Football Giants. GO BIG BLUE! And not to mention my Yankees winning game one of the ALDS. Game two, eh, not so much. But we’ll be just fine.

Yeah, yeah, I know, not a sports blog. I hear ya! I guess I better get down to it. So how about we cut the sports talk and the foreplay and let me tell you what DEH is gonna be bringing your way for the week ahead.

As you know, it’s October and than means that Halloween is like knocking on our door. So in lieu of that, I figured we’d kick off the week with some cool Halloween shit. The talented and busty Sasha Slaughter will be reviewing 3 movies that have a haunted house theme to them. Fuck yeah! Can’t have Halloween without haunted houses, right? So you’ll wanna be sure and check her out starting Tuesday.

As for me, your good buddy Zombie Zane, I’m not real sure yet. One thing I’m gonna do is post a few kick ass Halloween party songs. Halloween party’s can suck the sac without good tunes, ya know? Umm, I may throw in some mixed drink recipes as well. Again, ya gotta have some tasty beverages to go along with the good tunes or your party will suck and no one will come. And then you’ll feel like a dick. As far as what else I got, not sure yet, but it’ll be cool. Trust me, I’m a fuckin’ professional.

And one more thing before I get outta here. Sasha and I are holding Dead End Horror’s first annual short story contest. It’s free to enter and if you are lucky enough to win, we’ll put your story up on our blog and give it as much publicity as we can. Plus we’ll even throw in a $30 gift card to the pizza place of your choice! (As long as it’s a national known chain. Pizza Hut, Papa John’s, Domino’s) So you may want to check that out as well. We’ll be taking subscriptions all month long. To find out the particulars, just browse our blog, you’ll find it. Or you can follow us on Facebook. Just search for Natasha Romanus, we plug this contest all the time on there.

Well, I guess that’s all the news that’s fit to print. Until tomorrow, take care, stay a-scared and I am out! Peace peace and nasty-smelly-pug grease!

NAKED PUKING WHORES! BY: ZOMBIE 'UPCHUCK' ZANE

Hello Dead End Horror sheep that stay up all night searching for Sasha Slaughter naked with a glob of lotion in your palm. You bunch of fuckin’ pervs! You oughtta be ashamed of yourselves! But by the way, if you do happen to come across some of those pics, feel free to email me at zombiezane@...Wait, I’m no pervert! Well...kinda I am. But that’s beside the point. Let’s get into today’s post, yes?

I don’t have any nude Sasha Slaughter pics, but I do have some nudity to share with you. Wanna see? Here ya go! It’s me, Zombie Zane in the buff! I’m fuckin’ hot ain’t I?

 Ok, on to the movie.  Now this movie I wanna tell you about has plenty of nakedness in it. It also has a shitload of gore too. So what’s not to like? Nudity + Puking up Blood = “The Slaughtered Vomit Dolls!” Have you heard of this fuckin’ thing? No? Well, I guess you better kick on back and let me tell ya a little about it.

“Slaughtered Vomit Dolls,” is a shock/horror movie directed by Lucifer Valentine. (Yeah, right. Not the dude’s real name.) But whatever. Anyway, this shock/horror film is one of three in Valentines gore-fest series. I have no clue what the other two titles are, but I’m sure if you do some digging you’ll find them.

So this film runs just about 71 minutes, it was released on video in 2006 and it stars a bunch of fuckin’ people I’ve never heard of. Like: Allen Nasty, Miss Pussy Pants, Pig Lizzy and...fuck this! These names are too stupid to even type. Obviously these guys are just too school for cool. They should've spent more time making this film and less time coming up with cool names.

Wanna know the plot? Well, that makes two of us. I’m not sure what this movie is really about. It has a ton of gore, a lot of puking, some stupid fucking satanic music, and a ton of nudity. What I was able to get from the film breaks down like this: Basically it’s about a 19 year old bulimic stripper that decides to become a whore. And well, that’s about all that I got from this film. Needless to say, this was one big pile of fuck!

 Now lookit, I dig gore and nudity and shit like that just as much as the next guy.  But this, this was just too retarded for me. Like I know the director was all about trying to shock, which he failed at by the way. “I Spit on Your Grave” was ten times more shocking than this fuck pile.

Like I said, it did have plenty of gore and plenty of boobs, but all I can give this film is a 1 out of 5. No amount of tits and gore could’ve helped this movie. But like if you’re not used to seeing shocking horror, than by all means, go give it a look. I mean it might like shock you. As for me, I’ve seen a ton of horror and it takes a shitload to shock your old buddy, Zombie Zane.

On that note, that’s all I got for you today. Be sure and check out Sasha’s stuff as well. I think she’s doing something with raw meat so grab some meat and go pay the busty (but not naked) Sasha Slaughter a visit. Until next time, take care, stay a-scared, and I am out. Peace peace and naked puking grease!

Zombie Zane

BEWARE OF THE BOOZE AND BOOBS By: ZOMBIE ZANE

Heya, Dead End Horror sheep that wear radioactive clothing and eat nothing but frozen pizza rolls! What’s good? Anyway, it’s that time once again for you to kick back and read one of my posts. So I guess that means it’s time for me to write one. Which is what I’m doing now.

So what I wanna do today is, I wanna talk about one of my favorite movies of all times. I’m talking about the movie, “Hostel!” Fuck yeah! If you haven’t seen it, let me start by telling you this is one bad bastard of a horror film. Seriously. It’s got all the crucial elements. It’s got, gore, plenty of nakedness, a great, sox rockin’ soundtrack, and a hella good plot. This thing is fucking too cool! So please, take a few moments and hang out here with me, yes?

 “Hostel” is a 2005 American horror film written, produced, and directed by Eli Roth. Now for the record, I’m not a huge Roth fan. I kinda think he’s an arrogant prick. But then again, if I had made a movie like this, I’d be arrogant too. But whatever. Anyway, Roth’s original script was developed by none other than Quintin Tarantino. Tarantino also served as one of the producers as well. Maybe that explains some of the films awesomeness.

 Also lending their talent to the movie are Jay Hernandez, Derek Richardson, and Rick Hoffman. And oh yeah, some Russian girls whose names I can’t pronounce let alone type. The film runs just under 95mins and you can find this film just about anywhere dvd’s are sold. Now that you know a bit of the particulars, let’s get to the plot, yes?

 One of the things that makes this movie good is the plot. I mean it’s simple but at the time it was original as hell. The movie is about a place in Slovakia where rich people pay to kill a victim of their choosing in any manner that they see fit. They can use chainsaws, drills, guns, knives, fuckin’ whatever!  They can get as medieval as they want. Fucking anything goes. Trippy huh?  I mean like if you want to kill an American, you can bid on a price. Say maybe it starts out at like 30k, but say another dude wants to kill an American, so he bids like 35k and so on and so on. Ya follow me? And just like an ebay auction, the winner with the highest bid gets that certain person. Ya dig?

So Josh and Paxton (Hernandez and Richardson) end up at this hostel where they are drugged and kidnapped and tortured in various ways. Told ya, it’s a cool fuckin’ plot. And the coolest part, is that everyone that works at this hostel is in on it! Everybody that works there plays a part in this murder racket. I mean they could give shit one of an American gets offed. They don’t care cause it’s all about the $$$!

 Now that you know the plot, you are like dying to watch this movie, right? Right? Like I hope I didn’t fuck it up and tell you too much info. I saw this thing and went into it not knowing what to expect.  It blew my fucking mind so much that I actually watched it twice in a row. I’ve only done that with like two other films. Wanna know which ones? No? Fuck you! I’m gonna tell ya anyway. I did it with “The Devils Rejects,” and I did it with “Open Water.” But yeah, I dig this film and I give it a perfect 5 out of 5. I can’t stress enough how much I liked it.

 Okay, so there it is. I guess that’s all I got for ya today. Be sure and pay a visit to Sasha as well. It’s laundry day so you may just get to watch her wash her undies. Ha! That sounded funny. Anyway, until tomorrow, take care, stay a-scared and I am out! Peace peace and Jack ‘N the Box grease.

Zombie Zane

ANY DAWGS IN THE HOUSE! WOOF, WOOF, WOOF,WOOF! By: ZOMBIE ZANE

Heya Dead End Horror fans that look like your mothers and dress like Tom Brady! I guess it’s that time once again to do what we do here and talk some horror. I know I’m geeked about it. What about you?

Anyway, I’m a little late on getting this post out, I had some technical difficulties earlier in the day and well, for most of the evening I’ve been watching LSU vs. MISS ST. Goddamn it! I hate ESPN’S Streak for the Cash! Fucking fickle whore of a game.  In case you were wondering, I took MISS ST as the upset special and I’m getting the shaft. BOOM BOOM BOOM UP MY ASS! They’re down 10 and it ain’t looking good.

                                                                                 
See the above picture? That's me! LSU just won! SHIT! Sorry, I know this ain’t a sports blog. My bad. Anyway, let’s cut the foreplay and get into today’s shit, yes?

So for today, I’m gonna be talking about the movie, “Straw Dogs.” Have yous seen the trailer to that shit yet? I don’t know, looks kinda good. I mean it is another remake. Didn’t know that did ya? Or maybe ya did. But big fucking shocker huh? Aren’t all the movies coming out remakes? Or stupid fucking wrestling robots. Stupid ass ‘Transformers.’ Even more retarded, “Real Steel.”
Fuck off outta here with that shit.

                                                                                   
 Anyway, “Straw Dogs” is actually a remake that looks somewhat promising. I’m cautiously optimistic about this one.  It opens tomorrow, September 16, so we’ll know here pretty soon if it’s just another shitty remake. The trailer kinda reminded of a cross between “The Strangers” and “Last House on the Left.” Which, by the way, are both pretty good movies. Especially “The Strangers.” That was fucking bad-ass.

Anyway, as I said this film is a remake of a 1971 film with the same name. The 1971 version of this movie starred Dustin Hoffman and was directed by Sam Peckinpah. It was also a very controversial film due to its extreme violence and rape scenes. This film sparked all kinds of controversy because some thought that it was bringing too much violence into the cinema. Really? Too much violence? Is there such a thing? I think not!

                                       

                                                                                 
So the big question is, will the remake suck the sac or not?

                                                                       
As far as I can tell, the plots are similar: A screenwriter and his wife go back to her hometown in the south to prepare her family’s home for sale after the passing of her father.  Anyway, once the couple get there, the shit hits the fan. There’s beef with the local yocals, there’s tension in the marriage, and to top it all, Amy’s (the screenwriter’s wife) ex boyfriend shows up and wants to create some drama. What a honeybadger he is!

                                                                                    
So see, it doesn’t sound that bad. Like I said, the plots are very similar. Maybe this film has kinda a “Cape Fear” element to it as well. We’ll just have to see. I’ve said it time and time again, I hate fuckin’ remakes. But there are some exceptions to the rule. Maybe this will be one of those exceptions.

Anyway, that’s all I got for you today. Be sure and peep out Sasha’s stuff as well. She always has something good going on. So until next time, take care, stay a-scared and I am out! Peace peace and dawggy grease!

ZOMBIE ZANE

                                                  



                                            



                                                                                

DRUNK & DEBAUCHEROUS BEHAVIORS...By: ZOMBIE ZANE

What’s good horror fans that love our shit and can’t wait to read more? Hope all had a very safe and debauchery filled Labor Day. I know here at Dead End Horror it was nothing but beer, vodka, mucho illegal substances and of course group sex.  That’s how we do here at The Horror. Sasha is such a bad influence on all of us.                                                      

                                                                  
Now before I get in today’s post, I gotta clear the air for a second.  It came to my attention that someone who reads this blog has been doing a bit of shit talking about your buddy Zombie Zane.  So, person who will remain nameless, one thing I gotta say...I’m gonna be dialing direct and  I may fuck around and use some foul and offensive language. So without further ado, this FUCK YOU is for you. Keep your stupid mouth shut you shit talking, down on all fours everynight, cocksucking, washed out hag.  Choke on it you stupid cunt! Choke on it!  You don't know me.  So keep your opinions and retarded comments to your fuckin' self.  Walk in my shoes, or get to know me first before you start runnin' that ignorant, cum receptacle, that you call a mouth.

                                                                     
There, now I feel a whole lot better about this situation.  Don’t you?

Now then, where was I? Oh yeah, today’s post. Today’s post is gonna be kinda a bit different. As you can tell from the above paragraph.  Sorry, I tend to wig.  In any case, today’s post is basically just gonna be a rundown of what we're gonna be doing this week at D.E.H. 

So here’s what we got on the docket for this week...This week is all about man versus beast.  This will totally be MAN vs. BEAST WEEK!! Hell to the yeah! Monster movies are fuckin’cool, yo! Anyway, the incredibly busty Sasha Slaughter will be giving her take on “Assault of the Sasquatch,” and “Blood Monkey.” Two pretty good man vs. beast films. So be sure and give her stuff a once over.  Or maybe a twice over.  She likes when you look at her stuff.  She does...trust me. I'm a professional.

As for me, your buddy Zombie Zane, I’m gonna be giving you a top five, or maybe a top ten list of some of the best man vs. beast type of films.  I’ll throw in my take on the film, “Grizzly Park,” and just for shits and giggles I’ll  educate you sheep on the movie, “The Breed.”

So we got bears, wild canines, and fuckin’ Sasquatch.  Add some killer apes to the mix and all in all not a bad week.  Not a bad week at all. So be sure and come back tomorrow and check us out.  After all, we are the horror blog with the most swagge.  And you ca believe that! On our worst day, our better is always, ALWAYS better than the other horror blogs better. 

So until next time, take care, stay a-scared and I am out!

TOP 5 REASONS WHY I LOVE ZOMBIES By: SASHA SLAUGHTER

BRAINS!!!!!!!!!!! Hey there!! Sasha Slaughter here with you for the final time this week and for the final day of random stuff month. Since I reviewed a zombie movie yesterday, I figured why not stay with the zombie theme. So, I'm going to list the top 5 reasons why I love zombies. I guess that kinda explains the whole "BRAINS" opening a little better huh?? I've always been fascinated by zombies, ever since I was a teenager and saw "Night of the Living Dead" (The original) for the first time. After that I was hooked. I don't know what their appeal is to me, but zombies are hands down my favorite monster. RAWR!!! So kick back and enjoy top 5 reasons why I love zombies!!!                    
                                                                               

5.) They fuck shit up. They cause chaos, panic, and disorder. Think about it, in most movies when a zombie apocalypse happens, the whole entire world seemingly shuts down. People leave, they kill themselves out of fear, they end up becoming the very thing they are afraid of or they man the hell up and try to survive. In almost every zombie movie I've ever seen, entire populations are wiped out or they flee somewhere else to get away from the zombies. With all of the chaos and death happening, would you be able to survive a zombie apocalypse? Would you be able to stay calm and get out alive or would you fall victim to the zombies?? I myself don’t do so well with chaos or panic, I'd probably never make it out alive. So I'm really hoping I never have to live through a zombie invasion. Because my pasty white Yankee ass would perish...quickly.                                  
                                                                        

4). All they wanna do is eat your brains..or whatever else they can sink their rotting teeth into. They don't care who you are, where you live, or if they knew you before they died and then became undead. All they wanna do is eat you. They'll munch on your flesh, slurp up your brains and occasionally eat your intestines like spaghetti. Zombies are bad mamma jammas.
 
3.) I find humor in zombies. The whole concept of being undead and being ravenous for brains is funny to me. You gotta admit, sometimes the zombies in movies do some pretty funny shit. It's especially funny when they make noises. You know, the standard zombie moaning noises. It always cracks me up when they do that. There's just a quality about them that never ceases to amuse me. They could be coming for my brains, and if they make funny noises while doing so, yeah, I'm gonna laugh.

    
 

2.) They can be killed....but only by destroying their brains or decapitating them. No stakes in the heart or strings of garlic will keep these flesh hungry stalkers down. You gotta go straight for the thinker if you wanna survive the zombie invasion. Get your guns or axes, whatever you can use to split a zombies head open with. That's your only guaranteed way to survive the undead.

1.) Zombies aren't vampires. I'm not crazy about vampires, but I don't hate them either. OK, I'll admit, I'm kind of obsessed with Twilight (I'm a chick, whattya want from me??). But like the movie said, vampires do kind of suck. Especially the new ones. They only drink from animals, they can come out in the daylight and to top it all off, they sparkle in the sun!!! WHAT? But with zombies, they've pretty much stayed true to how they've always been described. Zombies don't sparkle, they can come out whenever the hell they want, and screw animal blood, they want human brains!!! And honestly, who do you think would win in a zombie vs vampire battle royal?? No, vampires don't have blood, but they've got some tasty brains for the zombies to devour. And yeah, the vampires are smarter and faster, but zombies are obviously the more superior monster, to me at least.                      
                                                 
So there you have it, my top 5 reasons for loving zombies. I maybe could have thought of more, but that could have taken a while. Making that list took a lot longer than you'd think. Most of the time I sat staring at the computer screen mouth breathing a little. =) But I got it done. If you're a zombie lover like me, or you at least think they're cool, hopefully you could relate to some of the reasons why I effin love zombies so much! Thanks for wasting your time with me! And while you're here, how about you go waste some of your time with Zane too!! And as always, check back tomorrow for new stuff here at Dead End Horror. 
                                                                                   

Sasha Slaughter

    




                                                                             

WELL CHOP ME UP AND CALL ME DADDY BY: ZOMBIE ZANE

Coming at you live and direct once again from the seven six one oh seven, it’s the man of the hour himself, Zombie ‘Fat Boy’ Zane. What’s good horror fans that stay out all night chasing zombies and drinking hot beer.  Now before I get into todays post, I wanna take a second a jump up on my soapbox. So if you can just be patient, we’ll get to the boobs, blood, and whatnot in just a sec. Or you can skip ahead. Whatever.

Ok, so you know how there’s been like three earthquakes in two days right? Anyway, this old retarded guy by the name of Pat Robertson says that gays are the reason for earthquakes, tornados, and bombs.  Are you fucking for real??  I mean everyone knows that it’s the aliens that are responsible for all these natural disasters and whatnot. This guy is a total fuck-tard! His statements have to be some of the dumbest shit that I’ve ever heard.  Old ass man, shut the fuck up. Could somebody please give him a dick to shove in his mouth so that he’ll quit talking. And don’t get me started on the people that follow this guy and believe his nonsense. They can suck it too. Bunch of fuckin uneducated simpletons. So here’s a big FUCK OFF to Pat Robertson and his diluted thinking.                 

Wow, that was a rant huh? Sorry. But I gotta tell ya, I can’t tell ya that I cannot tolerate ignorance.  So if you’re still with me, how about we do what we do and get into some horror. Have any of you guys seen the movie, “Hatchet?” I know it’s a few years old, but this movie is one of my all time favorites in the slasher movie genre.

Anyway, “Hatchet” is a 2006 slasher film from Ariescope Pictures written and directed by Adam Green.  The film was originally given an NC-17 rating, but after a few minor cuts here and there, the MPAA gave it an R rating for ‘strong bloody horror, violence, sexual content, nudity, and language.’ Hell to the yeah!!! The recipe for a perfect slasher film, right? My thoughts exactly. Let’s get to the plot, yes.

“Hatchet” is set in the swamp lands of Louisiana (which I find cool because I’m from the south and dig the shit out of Louisiana) So basically the movie is about a group of tourists who learn that the legend of Victor Crowley is real and he is in fact one bad-ass motherfucker. This movie is kinda like “Friday the 13th” in the swamp. Ya know, deformed retard hunts and kills a group of twenty-somethings. But after all, it’s a slasher film, what more do you want? Yes, the plot is simple and somewhat predictable, but this is still worth watching. Especially if you’re a fan of slasher movies.

Another cool thing I liked  about his movie was that Robert Englund and Tony Todd were in it. And if you don’t know these two guys, then you suck.  Really suck. Just kidding. Robert Englund obviously was Freddy Krueger in the NOES series and Tony Todd is the dude that played in the Candyman movies. So see, some pretty cool actors are in this film. Really, the other cast members weren’t  that bad either, I just didn’t recognize the names so I ain’t gonna type them all out. You can IMDB this movie if you wanna know the full ensemble of actors. (See, I used ensemble, that’s a big boy word! I don’t always cuss like a sailor.)

Sasha's Lover

So, wanna see some boobs and blood? Me too!  Let's do some boobs first!





:

All right pervs, no more boobs for now, let's get to some gore....

That should satisfy all of your blood/boob needs. If not, I don't know what to tell ya. Go find some porn or something. Anywho, speaking of boobs and blood, go by and see the busty Sasha Slaughter, she's got plenty of both. Until tomorrow horror fans, take care, stay a-scared and I am out!

ZOMBIE ZANE

                                                                                             

BRAIN EATING ZOMBIES AND A NAKED GRAVE DANCIN CHICK!!! By: SASHA SLAUGHTER

If the house is rockin, don't come knockin!! OWWW!!! Well, my house was rocking earlier, and it wasn't because of you're thinkin =) That's right, we felt a little of the shake from the quake....yikes! Anyway, let's get down to it! Today I'll be reviewing Night of the Living Dead...old school right!!?? Well, I've never seen the whole thing, so I decided what the hell, it's got zombies and as you all know, I loves me some brain eatin zombies!! It came out in 1985 and was directed by Dan O' Bannon.

In this horror/comedy two employees from a medical supply company unknowingly release several zombies from cylinders that they've been trapped in for years. It causes local citizens to deal with a large scale zombie epidemic. Frank is showing new employee Freddy the ropes when he mentions that there are bodies in basement that have been there for fourteen years. He tells him that they came from the Army when a chemical seeped into the morgue and brought the dead back to life. The Army attempted to get rid of the problem and accidently shipped the contaminated soil and dead bodies to the medical supply company.

They go into the basement and look at the cylinders. Frank taps on one of them to assure Freddy that they are sturdy and when he does, it breaks causing a chemical gas to be released into the basement and out of the warehouse. The gas causes Freddy and Frank to pass out and when they come to they are both starting to feel sick. They come out of the basement and hear strange noises coming from the warehouse. They go to find that the stuffed dogs they sell to veterinarian school have come to life and then they hear screaming coming from where they keep dead bodies.

A colonel from the Army is talking to his wife about finding the missing bodies. He tells her he can't rest until they are found and that they could be anywhere. While Freddy and Frank try to figure out what the noises are, his friends are waiting in the graveyard for him to get off of work. They all want to party but don't have anywhere to go so they take a radio to the graveyard and hang out. (And then comes the part with the creepy red head named "Trash" dancing naked on a grave...I guess that's supposed to iconic or something??). Anyway, Frank decides to call his boss Burt and tell him what happened.                                          

When Burt arrives Frank explains what happened. They tell him about the screams coming from where the dead bodies are kept. They come up with a plan to kill the cadaver and then destroy the evidence. Frank opens the door and the cadaver runs out headed straight for Burt. They catch it and bury a pick axe into it's brain but it wont die. So Burt decides to chop it up in pieces. He tells Frank and Freddy that he has a friend that runs a mortuary and he's going to ask him to help them. Burt goes to the morgue and asks his friend Ernie (Haha...Burt and Ernie!) for help. At first he tells him there are rabid weasels in the bag and they need to destroy them. But when Burt says he'll take them outside and shoot them Burt finally tells him what's actually in the bag. He shows Ernie the body parts and Ernie agrees to help him by burning the parts in the incinerator.

As the body is being burned the chemical gas is released into the air and then it starts to rain. Freddy's friends are in the graveyard when the rain starts and they run to their car yelling that the rain is burning their skin. As the rain soaks into the ground, it begins to bring corpses back to life. Tina goes to the medical warehouse to look for Freddy and she goes into the basement. One of the things from the cylinders attacks her yelling that it wants her brains. Her friends come and rescue her and they all leave the warehouse and run back into the graveyard. Trash gets attacked by zombies (Thankfully, I was tired of seeing that bitch naked) and the rest of her friends escape. Three of them manage to make it to the mortuary when Ernie calls 911 and asks for paramedics to come because there are two men that are poisoned.  

The EMT's show up and can't get a pulse or blood pressure Frank or Freddy. They say that their body temperature is 70 degrees and that it's not normal. The EMT's go to get stretchers when they are attacked by zombies. Freddy's friends make it to the mortuary and tell Burt that there are bodies all over the place and that they're killing people. They begin boarding up the mortuary to keep the zombies out. When questioned about what's wrong with Frank and Freddy, Burt finally admits that a chemical was released when Frank and Freddy were messing with the cylinders in the basement. He tells them that the chemical gas escaped and they both breathed it in and it's causing them to get sick.

Frank and Freddy complain of stiffness and pain and Ernie checks them and says that they are starting to exhibit signs of rigor mortis and that they are dying. Just then zombies break into the mortuary and kill one of Freddy's friends. Ernie grabs the zombie and straps it to a table in the embalming room. It starts talking and tells him that they want to eat their brains because it takes the pain of being dead away. They decide to lock Freddy and Frank in the chapel incase they turn into zombies. Tina insists on being locked in the room with Freddy. Shortly after they are locked in, Freddy turns into a zombie and tries to attack Tina. Ernie comes into the room and grabs her and they try and board the doors shut. Right before Frank turns into a zombie he puts himself in the incinerator to die.

Burt and Spider go outside and get in a cop car to try and get help. They end up at the warehouse and call the cops. The cops set up a barricade to try and stop whatever was happening but the zombies break through and start killing all of the cops. Back at the mortuary, only Ernie and Tina are left so they block themselves into the attic to keep from being killed. Burt finally realizes that no one is coming to help so he calls the number on the cylinders in the basement. He gets patched through to Colonel Glover and explains to him what's happening. Colonel Glover calls the General and tells him that they've found the cylinders in Louisville, KY but they have been opened. Burt is told that the Army had a plan in place to deal with the cylinders incase they were to be opened. The Army then lines up a missle and....

BOOOM!! What?? Idk, watch and see what happens dammit! Now, let's see what I thought shall we?? Ehh.. I gotta say, it's super cheesy. The acting is wayyyy over the top and the characters in the movie definitely look 80's! Too funny. I guess because I'm "new school" I'm not really used to seeing old stuff like that. That movie is older than me! I think overall I'd give it a 2.5 out of 5. I love zombies and everything, but this movie was one giant cheese doodle man! I know it was made in the 80's and everything, but yeesh! I will admit that the special effects were kinda cool. That zombie thing from they cylinder was creepy, except for the face. That made me laugh. It's eyes were all funny looking. Didn't really match the body, you know what I'm saying??

And the zombie skeleton writhing on the table bitching about wanting to eat brains was pretty cool too. I must say though, that red haired girl was kind of annoying. Not only was her acting bad, I was tired of seeing her naked. JEEZ! She was naked for practically the whole movie. I was tired of seeing her boobs, butt and vadge!! GROSS! There was a good amount of blood and brain matter, which was great and the zombies looked kinda creepy. It was all good except for that naked red haired bitch. For real! Now you know my thoughts, how about you go on and see what Zane is thinking?? Thanks for stopping by! We appreciate it mucho!

SASHA SLAUGHTER