Hillbilly Hell By: Sasha Slaughter

Ohh well hello there DEH freaks! Sasha Slaughter here with you...did you miss us? If you didn't notice, Zane and I took the day off on Monday. Let's just say that our Super Bowl celebration got a little out of hand. =) 

Anyway, this week there isn't really a theme, so we'll just be throwing some random stuff at you, is that ok? Awesome! Today I'll be telling you about a film called Savage County (Brought to you by MTV). Savage County came out in 2010. It was written by David Harris and Daniel Alvarado and directed by David Harris. It is said to be similar to The Hills have Eyes and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, so I guess we'll see. Let me tell you a little about it.

High School friends Izzy, Noah, Mike, Megan, Patrick, Angie, and Colby decide to find a new place to party, and Mike leads them dangerously close to the Hardell place. After complaining of being bored, Mike tells them about the dilapidated estate on the outskirts of town. No one believes that the Hardell's are really crazy, but Mike convinces the others to go the house. Patrick, the youngest and the most cowardly, accepts the dare to knock on the door of the Hardell's and run. 

But they get more than they expected when the eldest member of the Hardell clan bursts through the door with his double barrel- blazing. Panicked, Patrick's friend Noah races to his rescue and bludgeons the man with a shovel, killing him instantly. Soon after, they hear a car approaching and flee the scene. Upon discovering the family patriarch dead, face down in the grass and covered in blood, the rest of the Hardell clan vows to seek vengeance on every one of the kids involved, and ensure that each of them dies a slow and painful death.

Crazy hillbilly's! I don't wanna be their friend. This was actually a pretty decent hillbilly slasher flick. I did see some similarities between this movie and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. You know, a bunch of crazies living in an isolated shack, a shady police force, a leather face villain and a few strange sidekicks. This movie had it all. And of course had a few kids that inadvertently got on the hillbilly's bad side. 

OOPS! It was a total B slasher brought to you by MTV, but it was pretty good. There were a few awesome death scenes involving knives, guns, and the blade of a lawn mower. 

The hillbilly dudes videotaped all of the murders they committed and watched them later, and used them to torture the others, which was pretty cool. The acting was good, but the homicidal hillbillies is what did it for me. They were all so weird and creepy...Ughh!! Overall I'd give Savage County a 3 out of 5. There was plenty of blood, lots of death, and a vat of acid...whats not to like? 

I'd recommend this if you are into B movies and hillbilly slashers for sure. I would definitely watch this again. While you're here, don't forget to pay Zane a visit and see what he's got going on. Thanks for stopping by!!!!

LET'S ALL STRIP NAKED FOR THE DEVIL BY ZOMBIE ZANE

Hello Dead End Horror fans that like to fuck about on facebook and other social networking sites with fake profiles. Have you gotten a life yet? Will you ever? No. What’s poppin’ slimes? SO as you know or may not know, this week Sasha and I are all in on 1970's horror films. And believe me, we’ve seen some really weird shit this week. Like the movie I watched last night.

Anyone ever hear of, “Nude for Satan?” No? Holy shit! Let me tell you about this odd motherfuck of a movie. If you like lesbian play, hairy bush, and random dialogue that doesn’t mean shit, well this is the perfect film for you. 

Anyway, “Nude for Satan,” is a 1974 Italian gothic horror film directed by Paolo Solvay and it stars nobody you’ve ever heard of. It runs just over 80mins and it’s not rated. And yes, it is totally available on Netflix instant watch. So after you read this, you can totally watch it. That is if you don’t have jack shit going on.

Man, I don’t know where to start. I really have no clue what this film was about. All I can tell you is that a man and a woman end up in this weird, castle like place. From what I could tell, their doppelgangers live there along with a huge fake ass looking spider and the Devil. Oh yeah, and a bunch of naked chicks rocking the 1970's bush. What the what?  

Basically this movie is a bunch of random shit thrown together with some lesbian sex and nudity sprinkled in for good measure. What this film was trying to get across, I don’t know. More importantly, I don’t give a shit. I know that it like has a bunch of skin in it, but this movie was a total shit pile. Even for the 1970's. Like I get the whole sexploitation thing, and I’ve actually seen some good ones. This was not one.

I give this pile of fuck a 1 out of a possible 5. Again, my I.Q. might’ve dropped a bit from watching this thing. So if you’re already a retard, then by all means you can watch it and not worry about losing any of your already missing brain cells. But if you have an ounce of intellect left, stay away from this one.  

Well, I guess that’s all I got. Be sure and see what Sasha’s up to. Maybe her movie was better. SO until tomorrow, take care, stay a-scared, and I am out.

GOBBLE GOBBLE MOTHERFUCKER By: SASHA SLAUGHTER

What it is Ho's?? Ohh wait, I mean hey there fellow horror fans! =) It's almost Thanksgiving! Can you believe that? My oh my how time does fly! We all know what holiday comes this month...Thanksgiving! Yeah! The time of year when you stuff yourselves silly and go into a food coma. And in the spirit of Thanksgiving, today I'll be talking about a little film called ThanksKilling. 

Thankskilling was released in 2009 and had a budget of just $4,000. It was written by Jordan Downey and Kevin Stewart and was directed by Jordan Downey. The film was shot in Downey's hometown of Licking County, Ohio. The film is basically about a foul mouthed homicidal turkey that's offing college kids. This should be fun! Let me tell you a little more about it.

The movie begins back in in the olden days in 1621, moments after the very first Thanksgiving. A topless pilgrim (I cannot figure out why the old wrinkly bitch with gross brown nipples was topless in the first place, but whatever works) running through the woods and then getting killed by a turkey (Who tells her she has nice boobs). Fast forward to the present and we meet Johnny, Allie, Kristen, Darren, and Billy, five college kids getting ready to go home for Thanksgiving break. 

In the woods, a hermit and his dog flashy are walking when flashy finds some sort of statue and pisses on it. The ground begins to shake and a turkey rises from the underground and kills the dog. Meanwhile, on their way home, Johnny's jeep breaks down along the road and the kids decide to spend the night in the woods and leave first thing in the morning.

As they are walking into the woods, Darren sees a sign that reads Crawberg. They set up camp and Darren mentions finding the sign and makes a big deal about it. When no one knows what it means, he tells them the story about an Indian who was betrayed by a pilgrim. He tells them that the Indian vowed to curse every white man there was so he necromanced a turkey and every 505 years the turkey comes to life and kills white people. In another part of the woods, the hermit finds his dog  dead, with the turkey standing over top of it with an axe. The turkey said there was an "axeident" (haha) and runs away. 

The kids don't believe Darren's story and when Kristen goes into the woods to call her father, she sees the turkey and runs back to camp to tell the others. No one believes her and they tell her to calm down. As they are sitting around the camp fire a rabbit (A stuffed one of course, and it looked so fake) flies through the air and into the fire. Everyone is starting to get scared so they all go to bed for the night. The following morning Billy wakes up to find the hermit standing over him telling him that the turkey was there and he saved Billy's life.

They pack up their things the following morning and Johnny takes everyone home. Once he gets home he greets his parents and is talking to his father outside when the turkey shows up and cuts his dads head off and then kills his mom. Johnny calls everyone and they meet at Billy's where he tells them that the turkey is real and it killed his parents. Meanwhile Allie is at home screwing some random guy when the turkey comes in and kills him and then starts doinking her. 

She realizes something is wrong and turns around to see the turkey behind her as he breaks her neck. Everyone rushes to Allie's house to warn her, but when they arrive Johnny finds her dead on her bed with a turkey feather and an extra small gravy flavored condom beside her (OMG!! Right?? That's fucking hilarious!) They agree to try and kill the turkey before it kills more of them. Darren says that there is a book that explains how to kill the turkey and Kristen offers to take them to her house and look through her dads book collection.

 The kids arrive a short time later and the turkey (whom Kristen thinks is her dad because the turkey is wearing her dad's face and his sheriff hat) greets them at the door. He let's them in the house and they begin looking for the book that will tell them how to kill the turkey. Darren finds the book and tells them that they have to burn the turkey at the stake and recite a demonic spell backwards in order to kill it. Billy starts bitching about being hungry and leaves. As he is wandering down the street he sees an imaginary turkey and eats it. Soon after his stomach explodes and the turkey comes out with a shot gun and says "FOWL PLAY!" (How funny is that?).

The kids realize Billy is missing and they eventually find him dying on the side of the road. They want to avenge the death of their loved ones, so they agree to find the turkey and kill him. One of the things they had to do to kill the turkey was find the talisman that's hidden in it's feathers and destroy it. They find the talisman and then get in Johnny's jeep to find the Tee-pee where the turkey is usually hiding. They find the tee-pee on the side of the road and make a plan to attack the turkey and tie him up. They go inside the tee-pee to find the turkey eating a salad (Really? Guess that turkey wasn't bad ass after all). They tie the turkey up and then...

And then?? If you're in the Thanksgiving mood, then give ThanksKilling a watch. Unless of course you aren't into ridiculous, campy, so bad there good B movies, then I don't recommend this at all. WOW!! I don't even know what to say other than LOL! I literally laughed out loud during this whole movie! The plot is horrible but it's hilarious at the same time. The acting was just bad..I mean...terrible! And the skanky chick with the black girl and her valley girl accent annoyed the piss out of me! 

Where did they find these people? Oh wait, I read somewhere that they found them on Craigslist. That explains alot. And what's with the topless pilgrim lady at the beginning? You know, she probably ought not to have been topless. Her boobs gave me the wiggins. And the turkey was soo cheesy looking! It was basically a rubber turkey demon puppet. It was just too funny. Ohh and the extra small gravy flavored condom?? Fucking genius. That really tickled my funny bone.

The dialogue and scripting was terrible. I think a three year old could have written something better. Although, I think that this movie was meant to be as ridiculous as it was. It is a B movie after all. The whole maniacal talking killer turkey thing was so stupid it was genius. I mean, you've got this rubbery homicidal turkey that's only shown close up spewing off these funny one liners while going around killing people. What's not to like? You obviously have to have a sense of humor to get through this whole movie, if you don't, it's best not to watch, you will not be amused. This movie was just over the top in all aspects. The acting, the dialogue, the plot...everything was just absolutely horrendous, but yet I enjoyed it.

This is just an entertaining, low budget B film and it makes no apologies for what it is. Some of you may need a beer or 12 and some friends to enjoy this movie, but I don't think Nana would appreciate it. Overall I'd give ThanksKilling a 4 out of 5. Like I said, it was a terribly acted and written movie, the special effects were horrible, and the turkey was a total joke, but I will not lie, I was amused from the beginning to the very end, and that's what counts. Now that you how I feel, stop by and see what Zane's got going in his world. I'm sure it'll be good. Trust me. I'm a professional. Thanks for stopping by Dead End Horror.

I AIN'T 'FRAID OF NO GHOST!!! By: SASHA SLAUGHTER

BOOO!!! Hey there fellow weirdos. Thanks for stopping by Dead End Horror and checking out my final movie review for haunted house week!! You thought I went old school on you yesterday with a flick from the early 70's?? Today I'll be practically shoving old school down your throats (you know you like it) with a movie from the late 1950's. The movie I'm talking about is, “House on Haunted Hill.”

 Sound familiar? Of course it does because there was another movie of the same title that came out in 1999. But we aren't talking about that one today. And besides, it's a remake of the one I'll be reviewing today. “House on Haunted Hill” was released on February 17, 1959 and was written by Robb White and directed by William Castle. And of course it stars the man, the myth, the legend...Vincent Price.

Oh yeahh! And here's something you might not know...Alfred Hitchcock was said have taken a notice of how well the low budget film “House on Haunted Hill” did at the box office, that he set out to make his own low budget horror film, which became the critically acclaimed hit Psycho (1960). Awesome!

Vincent Price stars in this B horror film as an eccentric millionaire named Frederick Loren . Frederick and his fourth wife Annabelle have invited five people to a haunted house for a "haunted house" party. The rules are that the house will be locked down at midnight and no one can leave. And anyone who makes it through the night alive will be given $10,00. Shortly after the five invited guests arrive, strange things start happening and they are trapped inside with ghosts, murderers and other terrors.

The five guests ( Nora Manning, Lance Schroder, Watson Pritchard, Dr. David Trent, and Ruth Bridges) arrive at the house in funeral cars being lead by a hearse. Vincent is talking while the guests arrive and say that the hearse may be empty now, but by the end of the night, you never know. When the guests enter the house and introduce themselves, the front door slams shut and a chandelier almost crushes one of the guests.

Mr. Loren appears shortly after and explains the rules of the party and gives everyone a .45 caliber pistol for their own protection. Mrs. Loren hints to the guests that her husband is psychotic and this causes the guests to be extremely suspicious of Mr. Loren, especially Nora Manning. Nora becomes paranoid and is convinced that Mr. Loren is trying to kill her when she sees mysterious ghouls throughout the house, including the ghost of Loren's wife Annabelle who had presumably hung herself after being forced to attend the party.

Almost as frightened as Nora is Watson Pritchard, who barely survived a night in that same house not long ago. He bought the house after he spent the night and was found almost dead the following day. He told the guests that while he was at the house before, another woman killed her own sister and his brother and hacked them into pieces and the parts were scattered all over the house. He goes on to tell them that all of the parts were found except the two heads.

He is fully convinced that the house is truly haunted and believes that the ghosts have the power to kill anyone in the house that they wish. After the supposed suicide of Annabelle, everyone is suspicious of everyone else and they all decide to go to their rooms with their pistols and stay there until morning. It is then that Dr. Trent goes into the room where Annabelle's body was laid on a bed. He tells her that it's almost over and they reveal the plan they've had all along to frighten Nora so badly that she would be spooked enough to shoot Mr. Loren. Dr. Trent tells Annabelle when she hears the gunshot to come into the basement.

After being frightened all evening, Nora runs into the basement when the lights suddenly go out. Mr. Loren appears in the basement next to her and Nora is so scared that she shoots him and then runs out of the basement. Dr. Trent comes out of a room in the basement and drags Loren's body to a vat of acid in the floor. The lights go out again and there are sounds of a struggle and the distinct sound of splashing.

The lights come back on and both men disappear. After hearing the gunshot, Annabelle enters the basement to confirm that her husband is dead and her and Dr. Trent's plan worked. All of the doors start slamming shut and a skeleton appears out of the acid, accompanied by Frederick's voice telling her that at last she's got everything he has, but she won't live to enjoy it. The skeleton approaches Annabelle and she recoils in terror and as she does she trips and falls into the vat of acid.

Frederick Loren steps out of the shadows with a contraption he was using to control the skeleton and in absolute triumph he watches Annabelle disintegrate. The other guests rush into the basement to find that Loren is alive. He tells Nora that her gun was loaded with blanks and that.....

If you're curious about the rest, I highly recommend going to Netflix and peeping out “House on Haunted Hill”  the 1959 version that is. I didn't really know what to expect from this movie. Obviously no stellar CGI or special effects, it was 1959 ya know. But I was a little surprised at the fact that some parts actually gave me the chills.

I wasn't scared...no sir...horror movies rarely scare me, but this one did creep me out just a little. Vincent Price is amazing...seriously. Zane turned me on to him and I'm so glad he did. There is just something about him (I mean Vincent Price, not Zane...although...ehh we'll get into that some other time).

I don't know if it's his smooth as silk voice or what, but he is definitely intriguing. The remake that came out in 1999 was very similar to the 1959 version, which surprised me. I thought that remake would totally suck, because most do. But the remake was almost exactly like the one from 59, but it had a bit more blood and death.

Although I will say I probably like the remake better...I know!! I can't help it y'all!! I'm a new school girl and while I appreciate the oldies, I'm all for the new stuff. There's more blood, guts, death...I love it!

Overall I'd give House on Haunted Hill a 4 out o 5. I was really impressed by this movie. The acting was great, especially Vincent Price's, he definitely stole the show. I think my favorite part was when Price was controlling that skeleton, it was super cheesy and not very believable, but it was the 50's, so they were working with what they had. I would recommend this movie to everyone and I would for sure watch it again. While you're here, how about you drop by and see what Zane is up to? And thanks for stopping by Dead End Horror. Check back next week!!

Sasha Slaughter

                                                                      

OH NO!! ZOMBIE ZANE'S HAUNTED DINGUS IS IN MY HOUSE! By: SASHA SLAUGHTER

Hey there guys and ghouls! It's October and here at Dead End Horror we'll be bringing you spooktacular things all month long!! Speaking of spooky, this week I'll be reviewing some haunted house themed movies...yay! So lets go explore some things that go bump in the night with my first review of the movie, “Hallettsville.”  *The movie actually takes place in Hallettsville, Texas for those of you who don't know*

The movie was written and directed by Andrew Pozza and it was based on a story by Derek Lee Nixon, who stars in the movie as Tyler Jensen. “Hallettsville” came out in March of ‘09 and also stars a little actor you may have heard of named Gary Busey. In my opinion he's a total creeper and he freaks me out, but whatev. So let's do this!!

The movie begins in 1901 in the town of Hallettsville, Texas. A school house full of kids are slaughtered by their teacher. Fast forward to the present day at a funeral for Hannah Myers, Tyler Jensen's grandmother. He is remembering her as she was when she was alive. While the minister is talking he is having strange flashbacks of her telling Tyler as a child that "it ends with you".

After the ceremony he meets up with his old high school friends and thanks them for showing up to support him. Later that day he is talking to his mom when he finds a folder with a deed to house in it. He asks his mother why they can't keep his grandmothers ranch and she tells him the property taxes would be too high and then she tells him she has bad memories from there as she has a flashback of finding her big brother dying in the grass.

He falls asleep and has a dream about a demon being in his room as a child. He is awakened by his ex girlfriend April coming into his room. She tells him that she wants to talk about their relationship and about taking her back. He tells her no and she leaves. The next day he asks his mom if he can use the ranch for spring break and have his friends come to the house for the weekend. 

 She tells him no at first and then tells him she will think about it. While out at a bar, Tyler begins to think about April and he calls her and says they need to talk. They meet on a bridge and he tells her they'll get back together as long as she never hurts him again and she agrees. That night Tyler calls all of his friends and invites them to his grandmothers ranch for the weekend.

The next day they all meet at Tyler's house and pile into Luke's truck and leave for the weekend. On the way to the ranch they are stopped by the town cop (played by Gary Busey). He asks why they are speeding and tells him that he lives in a quiet town and he expects to keep it that way. They arrive at the house and shortly after some of Tyler's friends begin hearing strange noises and seeing children out of the corner of their eye.

Later that night while they are sitting around a fire, Tyler begins to tell them the story of a school house that was on his grandmothers property. He tells them that all of the school children were murdered by their teacher named Adam. He says that their school teacher was ill and while dying was visited by a strange man whom he told he would do anything to stay alive. Shortly after Adam returned to teaching and began going into convulsions on the floor before murdering all of his students. He then tells his friends that the man was possessed. They didn't believe him and said that his story didn't make sense.

That night while brushing his teeth, Tyler sees a face in the mirror just as the power goes out. Just before the power comes back on, Mark, one of Tyler's friends, is in the kitchen when the demon appears behind him and disappears when the power comes back on. The next day Tyler's friend Jonathan comes to him and tells him that he wants to go home because strange things are happening to him and it's freaking him out.

Tyler agrees to take him home later that day. As Tyler and his friends are leaving for a fishing trip, April tries telling Tyler that she needs to talk to him and it's important. He brushes her off when she finally tells him that she's pregnant. They go into the woods and argue and leave Jonathan in the house by himself. He sees a little girl in the living room in front of him. He takes the keys to the truck and leaves. On his way into town he sees a dog in the middle of the road. He swerves to miss it and wrecks the truck. He hears voices and sees children all around him. He hears screaming and is sitting against the truck when a hand grabs his head and pulls him away.

After finding out that April is pregnant, Tyler insists that they pack their things and leave to talk in private. They reach the house and realize that the truck and Jonathan are missing. Meanwhile, Mark and his friend are in a boat on the water fishing when they feel something rocking the boat.

They get quiet and Mark thinks it's a crocodile. He dives into the water to investigate and comes up a few minutes late with his mouth full of blood and tells his friend to go. She paddles to the shore and runs into the woods where she finds some sort of altar and dead animals hanging from trees. When April and Tyler realize that Jonathan is gone, they go looking for him and they find the wrecked truck and no sign of Jonathan except his bloody cell phone. They eventually find Jonathan a short time later hanging from a tree.

Tyler, April, Candice, and Luke meet up at the house and decide to get weapons and go to the nearest neighbor. While in the shed looking for an axe, Tyler is attacked by ghost children. He calls out for April to help and when she finds him he is thrashing in the air. She helps him up and they go into the house. In the basement looking for weapons, Candice and Luke hear animal like noises and quickly leave the basement.

Candice makes it out but Luke gets pulled back down the stairs. Tyler comes in and tells them to stand back while he checks the basement. He finds Luke all bloody and chopped up. They run out of the house and find the neighbors a half mile down the road and ask for help. The neighbor calls the sheriff and tells him to get there as soon as possible. The sheriff arrives and questions Tyler, April, and Candice about what happened. They tell him about their friend and how someone or something killed them.

While in the basement Candice found some sort of journal and is trying to figure out what it means. The sheriff talks to the neighbors and they tell him that they have seen and heard unnatural things, and that they believe the kids. While looking at the book, Candice tells Tyler that Adam, the man who killed the children, has to make sacrificial offerings to stay alive and he has to kill the first born of every generation of his own blood. Tyler then realizes that he is a direct relative of Adam and that he's coming for him.

The sheriff orders them to show him where the bodies are and if they refuse they will be considered suspects. Candice and April take the sheriff back to the house to find Luke's body in the basement. The sheriff goes into the basement and finds blood but no body. On his way out, he is attacked by the ghost children and escapes. Tyler takes two deputies in the woods to find Jonathan's body. They begin hearing animal like noises behind them. The demon appears and kills both deputies before taking Tyler's body back to an altar in the woods and then...

What will that nasty demon do??? Why don't you check out Hallettsville on Netflix and find out!!! The movie sort of sounded good in the description, but it really wasn't that good. In fact, it was kind of bad!! The dialogue was horrible and the acting was ridiculous. The plot was something I've seen a hundred times and of course no movie would be complete without kids running through the woods all scared and hopeless. BORING!!!

That was kind of a waste of 87 minutes. And Gary Busey did nothing for that movie. He was all weird and crazy and I really wasn't a fan of his drug hazed acting...is he on drugs?? He sure as hell seems like it.

And the montage scenes!! UGHH!! I swear the last idk..fourth of that movie was nothing but one giant montage. It was horrible! And the ending was just silly. I've also seen that about a hundred times. Overall I'd give Hallettsville a 2.5 out of 5.

Sasha Slaughter

Like I said, the plot sucked and just about everything about this movie sucked. Although I will say that the little ghost kids and the demon thing was actually creepy. That was the best part of that movie...well, that and the end were the best part. You know, when the movie is over?? BOOO! Anyway, that's all I have to say about that. So how about you go and check out what Zane's got going on? You know you wanna look!

PUT THAT BITCH ON ICE! BY: ZOMBIE ' CHODE' ZANE

Heya Dead End Horror sheep that hang out at the Booty Lounge and spend your rent and food money on junk food and greasy hamburgers! It’s Thursday and that means it’s that time once again for us to do what we do. So why not kick on back, put ya feet up, grab some greasy junk food and let me tell you about this movie I just got done watching.

Before I get to the post, why not watch the trailer first:

 “Bikini Girls on Ice.” No shit! I know, I know, another lame-ass horror film with half naked chicks getting hacked to bits by a demented killer. But, hey. Aren’t they all? Look, I know that there isn’t a shred of originality to be found in this film, but I was just in the mood for some mindless drivel. Plus I have very low standards so I’m rarely disappointed. But seriously, if you’re in the mood for a good old fashioned slasher flick, you could do a lot worse than this film.

 So here’s a bit of the particulars.  “Bikini Girls on Ice” is a 2009 American horror/slasher film directed by Geoff Klein. It stars Danielle Doetsch, Cindel Chartland, and Suzi Lorraine. Basically it’s full of wanna be porn stars. Anyway, it runs just about 80mins and can be found on Netflix under the horror section in recently added. So if you wanna dull your mind and lose a few I.Q. points, by all means finish reading this and head on over there.

Like I mentioned before, the plot is just like 1000 movies you’ve already seen but I’ll give you the brief rundown anyway. It’s about a group of chicks who find themselves stranded when their bus breaks down in bum fuck Egypt. Anywho, they make it over to this old, abandoned gas station where, (you guessed it) a killer starts killing them off one by one. Told you it’s fuckin’ predictable. But like I said, aren’t most of these kind of movies?

As for me, I didn’t hate it. Although I tried to. I have to admit, it was one of those movies that are so bad, it’s good. I wouldn’t necessarily watch this one again, not would I go out of my way to own it, but it was still worth 80mins of my day.

After careful debate and half a cigarette, I give this movie a 2.75 out of 5. I mean it’s just a bit better than middle of the road. Like I said, there are a shitload of slasher films out there that are complete piles of fuck. Steaming piles of fuck! But this one, not so bad.

Well, that’s all the news that’s fit to print. Sorry this post is so short but I’ve been doing some work for Yahoo and my poor little pea-brain is all but fried. Before I go, be sure and check back tomorrow. Sasha and I have an announcement that may interest you. We’re gonna be holding a short story contest so you may wanna look into how to enter and the rules and whatnot. So stay tuned.

On that note, take care, stay a-scared, and I am out! Peace peace and fair-food eating grease! 

Zombie Zane

                                        

NAKED PUKING WHORES! BY: ZOMBIE 'UPCHUCK' ZANE

Hello Dead End Horror sheep that stay up all night searching for Sasha Slaughter naked with a glob of lotion in your palm. You bunch of fuckin’ pervs! You oughtta be ashamed of yourselves! But by the way, if you do happen to come across some of those pics, feel free to email me at zombiezane@...Wait, I’m no pervert! Well...kinda I am. But that’s beside the point. Let’s get into today’s post, yes?

I don’t have any nude Sasha Slaughter pics, but I do have some nudity to share with you. Wanna see? Here ya go! It’s me, Zombie Zane in the buff! I’m fuckin’ hot ain’t I?

 Ok, on to the movie.  Now this movie I wanna tell you about has plenty of nakedness in it. It also has a shitload of gore too. So what’s not to like? Nudity + Puking up Blood = “The Slaughtered Vomit Dolls!” Have you heard of this fuckin’ thing? No? Well, I guess you better kick on back and let me tell ya a little about it.

“Slaughtered Vomit Dolls,” is a shock/horror movie directed by Lucifer Valentine. (Yeah, right. Not the dude’s real name.) But whatever. Anyway, this shock/horror film is one of three in Valentines gore-fest series. I have no clue what the other two titles are, but I’m sure if you do some digging you’ll find them.

So this film runs just about 71 minutes, it was released on video in 2006 and it stars a bunch of fuckin’ people I’ve never heard of. Like: Allen Nasty, Miss Pussy Pants, Pig Lizzy and...fuck this! These names are too stupid to even type. Obviously these guys are just too school for cool. They should've spent more time making this film and less time coming up with cool names.

Wanna know the plot? Well, that makes two of us. I’m not sure what this movie is really about. It has a ton of gore, a lot of puking, some stupid fucking satanic music, and a ton of nudity. What I was able to get from the film breaks down like this: Basically it’s about a 19 year old bulimic stripper that decides to become a whore. And well, that’s about all that I got from this film. Needless to say, this was one big pile of fuck!

 Now lookit, I dig gore and nudity and shit like that just as much as the next guy.  But this, this was just too retarded for me. Like I know the director was all about trying to shock, which he failed at by the way. “I Spit on Your Grave” was ten times more shocking than this fuck pile.

Like I said, it did have plenty of gore and plenty of boobs, but all I can give this film is a 1 out of 5. No amount of tits and gore could’ve helped this movie. But like if you’re not used to seeing shocking horror, than by all means, go give it a look. I mean it might like shock you. As for me, I’ve seen a ton of horror and it takes a shitload to shock your old buddy, Zombie Zane.

On that note, that’s all I got for you today. Be sure and check out Sasha’s stuff as well. I think she’s doing something with raw meat so grab some meat and go pay the busty (but not naked) Sasha Slaughter a visit. Until next time, take care, stay a-scared, and I am out. Peace peace and naked puking grease!

Zombie Zane

CHOP CHOP CHOP By: SASHA SLAUGHTER

Well hey there!! Thanks for stopping by Dead End Horror!!! As you may or may not already know, this is random stuff week again, and we're doing whatever we feel like doing. Isn't that awesome?? Of course it is. Today I'll be reviewing, “ Butchered.” It was suggested to me by Zane because I needed a little direction =). I was a confused horror blogger!

So anyway, “Butchered” came out in 2010 and runs about 70 min. It's unrated and was directed by Charles Stewart Jr., Shaun O' Rourke, and Sheila Brothers. That’s about all I know about the production and whatnot, but let me tell you about the plot. Let’s do this!

                                                                       
When a group of teens decide to spend their last weekend on a remote island to say their final goodbyes before heading off to college, they get a little more than they bargained for. Little do they know convicted serial killer Terrance Skinner escaped from authorities while on death row in a maximum security prison. Skinner is referred to as "the butcher" due to the heinous way he killed his victims.

He would stock pile bodies in his family owned butcher shop and hack them into pieces. He had killed fourteen people before authorities caught up to him. And now that he's escaped he's taken cover on the very same island that the teens are headed for. It soon becomes a battle for the teens for survival against this unlikely foe.

                                                                           
Two policemen are chasing the butcher in the woods when he kills them and then escapes. A young woman named Kelly returns home to find her apartment door ajar but thinks nothing of it. She calls a friend to bitch about the fact that her boyfriend packed his stuff and moved out. She hears noises in her apartment and tells her friend she'd call back.

She checks all of the doors and finds her cat in one of the rooms. She calls her friend back and says it was only her cat when the butcher walks up behind her and kills her. Meanwhile, a bunch of college kids at a party are planning one last weekend together on a remote part of an island they used to hang out at. They want to get together one last time before college starts. Later that night on that same island, a man finds an axe in one of his boats and yells out for people to stop using his boathouse. Just then the butcher comes up behind him and kills him.

                                                                                     
 The next day Dylan gets his brother Brody to take him and his friends to the island to spend a few days there. They arrive at the island and set up their tents. They get to talking about the butcher and how he escaped from prison. Sam tells them that the police tracked him and he is thought to be around where they are.

After they finish talking about the butcher, they frolic on the beach for a while playing football and hanging out. Dawn sees her friend Chloe kiss Sam, whom she is interested in. She gets mad and storms off back to camp. When she arrives she finds the butcher going through everyone’s things. It only takes her moments to realize who he is and she starts running away. She falls in the sand (typical) and the butcher hits her in the head with a rock and drags her to another part of the island.

Sam and Chloe are getting ready to go at it when they hear Dawn scream. Chloe insists that they go try to find her. Sam says they'll go to the camp and get flashlights and go back. Just then the butcher walks up behind Chloe and throws an axe in her chest. Sam screams and runs away. He is hiding behind a tree when the butcher finds him and buries an axe into his stomach. Hope, Dylan, Jenna, and Trevor are getting worried about Sam and the girls so they decide to go looking for them on the island.

                                                                               
They decide to split up and Trevor and Hope run into the butcher shortly after. He tells Hope to run and go back to camp and find Jenna. Dylan finds the girls and tells them he's going to find Trevor. Trevor starts fighting the butcher and he kills Trevor with an axe and drags his dead body and puts it with the others.

Dylan goes back out to search for Trevor and stumbles across a pile of dead friends bodies. The butcher finds him and he runs. The butcher hears Hope and Jenna talking and heads in their direction. Dylan taunts him and calls him names and he throws an axe at Dylan. Meanwhile Hope is trying to reach Brody on Dylan's radio to tell him they need help. The butcher finds Hope and Jenna and...

                                                                                
And what?? What does the big bad butcher do??? Well I guess you should head on over to Netflix and watch Butchered to find out! This movie was ok. I wasn't crazy about it. The acting was totally over the top and at times so fake. And I don't know if it was Netflix or my computer, but the video quality was total shit! It was all blurry. Boo to that!!

There was a good amount of blood I guess. Could have been more. The killings were semi-believable, but half of the time they didn't show them, which really irked me. They'd usually change scenes when someone was about to get offed. I wanna see death dammit!!!

                                                                             
Yeesh! There was some brief nudity, boobs within the first 10 minutes of the movie that is. And then in the opening credits it showed the butcher torturing some half naked girl and cutting off her nipples. Can I just say something for the whole female population??? OUCH!!!!!!!!

                                                                                     
And another part I didn't like too much was all of the white kids talking like they're gangster. What is up with that?? Or maybe I was hearing things. Maybe it was some kind of accent, but jeez.

I gave “Butchered” a 2.5 out of 5. I didn't hate it but I didn't like it either. There’s a slight chance I'd watch this again, if I were incredibly bored and there wasn't a thing left to do in the world maybe. It is most definitely a B movie through and through. Now that I've shared my feelings with you, you can go on over and check out what Zane’s got on the slab. He want's you to look!!

Sasha Slaughter