Curse of the vampire by Sasha Slaughter

Ok, so this weeks topic is Vampires. And this article is going to compare the classic vampires to the newer, more glamorous ones. Now I will say upfront, that hands down, the classic old school vampires are my personal favorite. Which you would find surprsing once I tell you that I am a diehard twi-hard. No shit right!!?? I haven't seen very many vamprie movies, especially not nearly as many as my partner Zombie Zane, but I can still say that the old school vampires are far more superior. The whole idea of a vampire is to invoke fear. Think about the classic vampires. They were creepy, ugly and just downright vicious bastards. They were cunning and bloodthirsty.

Now, think about the modern take on vampires today. Think Twilight. The "vampires" on Twilight can hardly be called vampires. For one, they are portrayed as stunningly beautiful, absolutely flawless, perfect in every way imaginable. They were incredibly smart, amazingly fast and, to top all of it off, they fucking sparkle in the sun....WHAT??? The vampires that were in movies when I was growing up didn't even come out during the day, let alone glitter in the damn sun. Seriously. And the "vampires" in Twilight don't have fangs, at least none that are described in the book or seen in the movies. And I've read all four books, multiple times, and I've seen all movies, multiple times. And never once do I remember fangs being shown or mentioned. Thats like one of the most important parts of a vampire. Fangs....duh!!!

Don't get me wrong, I'm not banging on the Twilight saga, I did mention that I am a diehard twi-hard, and I love the idea of the movies. The romance and the drama *I'm a girl, whaddya want from me?* But I don't agree with how the "vampires" are portrayed. Back in the day, those vampires weren't perfect, they weren't always stunningly beautfiul, and I'll say it again, they sure as hell did not sparkle in the sun. Only pansy ass vampires sparkle in the sun. That means you Edward Cullen. Some of the earlier vampires were often described as repulsive, and corpse like. And other times, they were slightly less gross, but it was only a ploy to cover unfathomable evil. The vampires of today are the total opposite of that.

And I don't just mean the Twilight Saga. There are plenty of other shows and movies where the vampires are shown to be painfully beautiful, and perfect in every way. Thankfully though, at least those vampires have fangs, and theres some murder and blood drinking, which is more than can be said for Twilight. Unless of course you count the implied murder of animals in the Twlight Saga. Blahh. Animals??? What did the animals ever do to you?? You're supposed to kill people!! I want to suck your blood....that kind of stuff. Yeesh!! So, in closing, the classic vampires are most definitley handsdown my absolute favorite. Sure, I like Twilight, but the "vampires" in the movies just aren't brutal enough. If Stephanie Myer would have stuck with the old school idea of the vampire, that movie would have been 10,000 times more kick ass. But sadly, she stuck with the beautiful, perfect, genius, brooding, sparkle in the sun type. Pansies. Thanks for reading guys && ghouls! =)

SUCK ME by: Zombie Zane

Coming to you live and direct from the Seven-Six-One-Oh-Seven. Zombie Zane here with my weekly shit. This week my partner Sasha Slaughter and I are talking vampires. She put together a couple of pretty cool articles so you fo sho should give them a read. Don't be a tool, just read them.

Now when it comes to vampires, I'm a total purest. That Twatlight shit where the vampires can walk around in the daylight is down right retarded. Fucking vampires do not, I repeat DO NOT walk around in the day. So, pack that shit up and peddle it down on 7th St. yo. I've seen maybe 100 vampire movies, maybe even more, and I gotta say, I never saw one where the blood suckers walked around in the day time without bursting into flames. Now I do appreciate the concept of Twatlight, and yes, I have seen the movies and I have read 3 out of the 4 books, but the daylight shit really sticks in my craw, ya dig? That and the fact that they don't sleep. What the fuck is that? All vampires sleep during the day. Everyone knows that. I'm getting off point. This isn't bang on Twatlight, in fact, this gives me a good way to tell ya what I'm up to with this
post. So, without further ado, here's what I got for ya today.

I made a list of the top 25 vampire movies that I've seen throughout my stint here on Earth. It wasn't easy, but somehow I managed to come up with what I think is a pretty solid list. Now I may have left some obvious ones out, maybe on purpose, maybe not, but as I like to say, my list, my rules. If you don't like it, make your own list. Or if you wanna disagree, send me a message, or send me your list of favorites. Or just
read what I got and STFU. Just kidding. Anywho, no more foreplay, let's get to the list.

                                 ZOMBIE ZANE'S TOP 25 VAMPIRE MOVIES

25. NOSFERATU (1922) The first adaptation of Bram Stokers novel. It's a silent film, but nonetheless, sox rockin.

24. DRACULA (1931) Bela Lugosi, no need to say more.

23. MARTIN (1977) Directed by George Fuckin' Romero. He does for vampires just like he did for zombies.

22. NEAR DARK (1987) A young Bill Paxton, a ton of gore, and all in all, a pretty good plot. Peep it out.

21. THE LAST MAN ON EARTH (1964) Vincent Price as the lead role, shitty ending, but still worth 76mins of your time.

20. JESUS CHRIST VAMPIRE HUNTER (2001) Kinda a horror comedy, plus it stars Marry Magnum (wink-wink)

19. THE VAMPIRE LOVERS (1970) Lesbian sex, tons of violence, and of course, Ingrid Pitt.

18. INNOCENT BLOOD (1992) From John Landis. If you like his shit, give this one a view.

17. VAMPYROS LESBOS (1970) A horror/erotica vampire story. Kinda corny, but still it makes the cut.

16. COUNT DRACULA AND HIS VAMPIRE BRIDE (1974) Corny, over the top, but hell, it was the 70's. Like it for what it is.

15. THE NIGHT FLIER (1997) Adapted from a short story by Stephen King.

14. VAMP (1986) A kinky, modern day vamp story. Just good clean fun.

13. THE WISDOM OF THE CROCODILES (1998) Starring Jude Law and directed by Po Chih Leong.

12. 30 DAYS OF NIGHT (2007) Some of the best looking vampires ever! And very bloody.

11. THE NIGHT STALKER (1972) Vegas vamps get exterminated in this cult classic.

10. THE LOST BOYS (1987) The two Coreys, Jamie Gertz, Keifer, a great vamp movie! I grew up with this one.

9. JOHN CARPENTER'S VAMPIRES (1998) A horror/western film with a great cast, a great plot, a fuckin cool film!

8. FROM DUSK TILL DAWN (1997) Classic Robert Rodriguez! Clooney and Tarantino rock this fucking thing!

7. BRAM STOKER'S DRACULA (1992) Minus dorky ass Keanu (fucking Bill and Ted) this is a great one. Coppola baby!

6. THE ADDICTION (1995) Star cast, but rather unconventional. It's said that this film is really about drug addiction.

5. CRONOS (1993) Long before Pan's Labyrinth, Del Toro bust on to the scene with this little nugget.

4. DRACULA : PAGES FROM A VIRGIN'S DIARY (2002) My mom of all people turned me on to this one. It's beautiful!

3. FRIGHT NIGHT (1985) MMMMMMMMM!!! His dinner is in the oven.....(if you don't know that line, watch the movie)

2. SALEM'S LOT (1979) A fuckin classic! This is still one of the best ever.

1. LET THE RIGHT ONE IN (2008) The end all beat all of vampire flicks. If you haven't seen this, you gotta. Mind blowing.

Well, there ya have it. My list of the best vampire movies ever. Check back next week for some new shit. Until then, take care, stay a-scared, and I am out!

JUNKIE by: Zombie Zane

Heya! Zombie Zane here. Just wanted to let you know that Sasha and I will be back with all new shit next week. So in the meantime, we're re-posting some of our shit from the archives. For those that have followed since the beginning, you shit outta luck. But for you new readers that haven't read our old shit, happy day for you!

Anyway, this post is a little thing I did. Maybe its flash fiction, maybe not. But whatever. So, yeah, I wrote this a while back and decided to re=post it. Here's my short story, 'The Junkie.' Enjoy and we'll see ya on the flip side.

Kurt Jacobs hunkers on the third step of the Hollow Oak Apartments, scrawny knees
tucked up against his emaciated body, insides burning and wrenching.


He’s sick. Junkie sick. There is only one conceivable way to eradicate his sickness and that’s one more fix.
Just one more.


Living in a junkies world, on the corner of east hell and two blocks from south suffering, Kurt Jacobs is all to aware where this road will end.

He rocks and trembles with excruciating cramps but he needs to venture out into the cold night and search for the one thing that will ease his anguish. And that means he is going to need all of what little strength remains in his broken down body. The quest could be perilous.


If he doesn’t acquire his drug, he will waste away. His last meal was a box of cold fried rice from a Chinese take out place that he can’t remember the name of.


"I need it. I need it so fucking bad. This is killing me and driving me bat shit, but I need it. And I don’t care, I gotta have it." He whispers to himself.


At 6'2 and 100 pounds, Kurt Jacobs is a mere shell of the man he was once was. At one time, he tipped the scales at 230. His pale face and dark sunken eyes tell the tale. A junkies tale.

Just ten days ago he was sitting on his designer sofa watching his beautiful wife play with their beautiful son. All was right in the world. All was right until he met her. The bitch and whore that took his life, his mind, his soul, his everything. Took it not by force, but took it by invite.

Traveling with empty pockets and a rapidly debasing mind, Kurt will hit the streets in search for his drug. His drug is a woman named Mara. Mara is a vampire.


He wants to see her he says over and over as he walks the streets.

Maybe he can will himself to quit the endless searching. He’s been searching for the past nine days. And he’ll continue to scour the streets for six more before he will put a loaded .45 to his temple and pull the trigger.

Vampire Bats by Sasha Slaughter

So I was looking at weird news stories & I came across one about Vampire Bats. It was always a myth that bats drank blood, so I thought. It turns out there is a species of bats that does drink blood. They tend to feed on the blood of birds, cattle, horses, pigs and if available, the occasional sleeping human. To steal a quote from Zombie Zane "Creepy von creep creep!" The Vampire bats need to consume at least a few tablespoons of blood everyday. If the bat doesn't consume enough blood or doesn't eat for a few days, it will starve to death. These bats can only be found in Central and South America. And heres a random, fun fact. Bram Stoker was so fascinated with these bats that he ended up incorporating them into his book 'Dracula.' True story.