...ROOM SERVICE! BY: ZOMBIE 'FATS' ZANE

YO! IT’S FRIDAY!! What’s good! Coming to ya live and direct from the seven six one oh seven it’s time once again to talk some horror. Zombie Zane here with ya on this hotter than fuck summer day. Jesus, this heat is fucking relentless! I’m sitting cool in the fan though. Cool in the fan. Anyway, I thought I’d throw in a bonus post this week. Why? I guess cause it’s hotter than shit and I have nothing else to do. So, how about we cut the foreplay and get to today’s bonus post.

Ok, so last night I watched this odd film called, ‘The Chambermaid.’ Have you heard of that one? Well, hell! Why not kick back for a second and let me tell you all about it. I’m sure you will find this post quite entertaining. And if you don’t, you can fuck off outta here and go read something else. But for the record, you won’t find a better horror blog anywhere else. Trust me...I’m a professional.

‘The Chambermaid’ is a 2007 horror film starring the one, the only, Fiona Horsey. (And if you don’t know who Fiona Horsey is, well hell....Just look at this...

FIONA HORSEY

　

Ok, I really don’t have a lot of background or info on this film other than it stars scream queen Fiona Horsey and it runs about 90mins. Now I got my copy off of a 12 movie collection called Blood Bath. I got it at Amazon but I’m sure you may be able to find it at like Half Price Books or something like that. So, since I really don’t have anymore info on this film, let’s get to the plot.

THE PLOT...’The Chambermaid’ is about a young chambermaid (Horsey) who is struggling with her life. Her boyfriend is a fuck-tard, her boss has a raging hard on for her, and to make matters worse, she is working two jobs just to make ends meet. And to top it all off, she’s on probation. Not a good situation. So the shit hits the fan when she finds out her boss (the owner of the hotel she works at) has been drugging her so he can fuck her while she’s comatose. Nasty bastard! So after finding this out, she decides to take matters into her own hands by seeking a bit of revenge on her boss.

Now this to me wasn’t really a horror movie per say. I mean it did have a kinda sick/twisted plot. And none of the characters had any moral values at all. Even the chambermaid was a calculating bitch. Even before she knew she was getting the high hard one while doped up. I’m not sure what I think about this film. I mean I didn’t hate it. I didn’t love it though either. If it didn’t have Fiona in it, I would’ve shit canned it after the first half hour. As it was, the movie didn’t start rolling until about three fourths of the way through. But I will say I did kinda dig the story line. And the cum shot scene was rather amusing...This film had plenty of explicit content in it. There were hand jobs, blow jobs, jerking off, rubbing one out (Fiona) a ton of rape, (although not explicit rape) cum shots and cybering. This was more a soft porn than it was a horror film. Not that I mind, I’m just saying.

BODY COUNT - 3 - Only three deaths. Not near enough.

SEVERINGS - 0 - A big fat nada!

SEX SCENES - 3 - A low number, but we’re talking quality, not quantity.

NUDITY NUMBER - 2.75 out of 5. Bush, boobs, ass, it’s the nekkid tri-fecta!!

GORE SCORE - 1- No blood, just boobs...

MY SCORE - 1.75 out of 5 - I really wanted to give it a 2, but I just couldn’t. Not enough horror in it for me so it loses some cool points there. Not that it was a total waste of time, I mean it did have some worth while shit in it and it did keep my attention I’m just not that impressed with the film overall. I liked ‘Angst’ a whole hella lot better. (‘Angst’ also is a Fiona Horsey film)

Well, that’s it for the week. We all done here. Hope you enjoyed this weeks offering, next week I have no idea what we’ll be doing, but I do know it’ll be good. So until then, take care, stay a-scared, and I am out! ROCK OUT WITH YOUR COCK OUT! BIG BALLS! FUCKING A!

ZOMBIE 'FATS' ZANE

  











                                                                                                

FUCK REDBOX! I GOT SOME DEATH ON DEMAND By: ZOMBIE ZANE

Looks like dinner at my house

YEPPA-YEPPA-YEPPA! What’s good? Not much going on here except a shit load of heat and a shit load of cold beer .Nothing else to do in the summer but drink and of course watch some horror movies. And believe me, I can do both very, very well. In fact, I got another movie I’d like to tell y’all about. Anyone ever seen the film, ‘Death on Demand?’ No? Well shit the bed! Why not waste some of your time here and let me tell ya all about it. What else do ya gotta do? So enough of this foreplay, let’s get to today’s post.

‘Death on Demand’ is a 2008 horror film written by Kevin Burke and directed by Adam Matalon. It’s the first movie released from the Evil Twins film company. This bad boy never hit the theaters, nossir. It was a straight to dvd type of deal. I got my copy in another one of those ‘bargain buy’ sets. I think the set is called Blood Bath. In fact I know it is. It has 12 horror movies total. I’ve seen like four of the movies already and out of the four, ‘Death on Demand’ has been the best one yet. Anyway, what say we get into the plot, yes?
THE PLOT: Three couples (college students) enter a webcast contest that is being held inside a haunted house. The three couples hold a seance which in turn awakens the evil spirit of a dude that killed his entire family. And I’m sure you can guess where this film goes from here...Evil ghost guy stalks and kills off the contestants one by one until he kills them all or gets sent back from wherever he came. Yeah, I know it’s predictable, but what the hell. Aren’t most horror films?

Ok, so ya got the plot, now let me tell you what I thought of it. Believe it or not, I actually liked this film. I really hate to admit it, but I did. It was like a guilty pleasure. I mean it was one of those ‘so bad it’s good’ type of deals. This film had some really funny parts. There were fart jokes, dick jokes, bathroom humor, awesome gory scenes, nudity, fuck scenes, pretty much everything you need to create a typical B horror film. Back to the gore for a second...There was plenty of it. I saw intestines pulled out of a girl, tendons ripped out of a leg, and the best part, the best part was the poor bastard who got his cock and balls torn off. No shit. What a trip. Ok, before I give away all the gory parts, let me break this down a bit more for ya.

BODY COUNT - 11 - Not a bad number. Lot’s of kills.

SEVERINGS - 1 - Lady got her noggin sliced clean off.

SEX SCENES - 4 - Lot’s of fuckin’ in this film!

NUDITY NUMBER - 2.5 out of 5 - HOORAY FOR BOOBIES!!

GORE SCORE - 3 - I gave this film a solid 3 here. Plenty of gore for all.

MY SCORE - 2.75 out of 5 - Again, I can’t believe I ranked this film so high...But what the hell. Everyone is entitled to a guilty pleasure film once in a while.

Ok, so I guess that’s all I got. Be sure and check out Sasha’s stuff as well. Her and her nah-nah will be every so happy that you did. Normally today is Dead End Horror’s last post for the week, but I got a bonus post in the offing for tomorrow so you’ll wanna come back and see what I got to say about the film ‘The Chambermaid.’ Hey, it stars Fiona Horsey, need I say more? Until next time, take care, stay a-scared and I am out! FUCKIN A, BIG BALLS!!

ZOMBIE ZANE

                                                                                                                                     

BLOOD, GUTS AND...NECROPHILIA??? By: SASHA SLAUGHTER

Hello Dead End Horror fans! Zombie Zane here. Anyway, Sasha and I are still working out some of the changes that are coming up here at DEH. But rather than leave you with nothing, I thought I'd re-post one of our most popular posts. Here's Sasha's take on the movie, "Aftermath." Remember, we'll be totally back next week with a ton of new shit. But until then, enjoy some of our older shit. C-ya on the flip side motherfucker.
 


EWWW!

 Well hello there faithful blog readers!! Sasha Slaughter here with you for the third and final time this week to bring you Sasha's pick. Since it's mixed bag O' shit week, this random movie review fits in perfectly! With a little (ok...ALOT) of help from Zombie Zane, we picked the movie Aftermath for me to review, so enjoy! Aftermath came out in 1994 and was directed by Nacho Cerda. It runs about 30 mins and is a Spanish foreign horror film.

A creepy mortician delights in the arrival of a beautiful woman who perished in a car accident. After all of his co workers go home, he locks the door of the morgue and performs shocking and unspeakable acts to her dead body. He starts by playing with her lips before cutting off her clothes and running a knife up and down the length of her torso, cutting her. He then takes a knife and repeatedly stabs her in the va jay jay. After he's done with that, he uses one hand to play in her guts and play with the womans boobs while he uses the other hand to masturbate. After he finishes he takes pictures with his personal camera. He then puts his camera on timer and puts some lube on his gloves and gets on top of the dead girls and has sex with her. When he's done he takes her heart and puts it in a plastic bag, finishes the autopsy and cleans her up. He goes home and puts the girls heart in a blender.....

Ughh!! Wait!! Gimme a minute to vomit. OMG!! That was seriously one of the most disgusting movies I've ever seen!! GROSS!! If you really wanna see what happens, then by all means, give Aftermath a watch. If you are squeamish then I do not recommend watching this at all. The movie was strange, there was no dialogue, just weird grunting noises from the creepy hairy mortician. And PS the noises he made when he had his big O from diddlin the dead girl were sooo comical! I'll admit, I giggled a little...I couldn't help myself!! Overall...ughh Idk! I don't know what to give this vomit inducing gore fest. I think maybe a....5 out 5 for the gore factor. I didn't really like it. The plot was bad, the acting...well..idk if you'd call grunting and fake raping a fake dead girl acting, but if so, it was just bad. The whole thing was gross and disgusting. Don't get me wrong, I likes me some gore but I don't really fancy necrophilia that much...or at all for that matter. I need to wash out my eyes and I for sure need a hug from my mama after watching that!! Don't forget to check out Zanes article and as always be sure to check back next week for all new stuff here at Dead End Horror.

SASHA SLAUGHTER

                                                                                                                                                     

ROCK OUT WITH YOUR COCK OUT! By: ZOMBIE ZANE

Doin’ it and doin’ it and doin’ it well! Zombie Zane here once again from the seven six one oh seven. Man, yesterday was hotter than shit!! And today promises to be another hot motherfucker. Will it ever end? I hope not. I wanna see every summer record broken! Why? ‘Cause I’m crazy that’s why. So, enough about the weather, and my mental state, let’s get to today’s post, yes?


As I said yesterday, this week’s shit is gonna be a hodgepodge of whatever we wanna throw in. And for today, I got a little something different for you guys. Now I don’t know about y’all, but I love music. Love it. It’s almost a necessity. So I got to thinking...I know, me think, that’s fucking scary in itself, no? So I got to thinking about some songs that have a horror element, or a dark element or a paranormal element theme to them. Know what I mean? For example, ‘The Monster Mash.’ That is totally about monsters and shit like that. ‘The Purple People Eater’ does as well. Ya follow? So for today, I’m gonna list about ten songs that have a horror/dark/paranormal theme. I’ll find the songs on Youtube so you can listen to them and whatnot. It’s better that way than for me to just list ten titles and call it a day. So what say we cut out the foreplay and get to the music, yes?


The first song I got for ya is Blink 182's ‘Aliens Exist.’

Now that was a sox rockin tune! I was a huge fan of thsoe guys back when. Ok, now this next song is good too. How about a little, Screaming Lord Sutch, 'Monster in Black Tights.'

So, what'd you think about that song? Pretty trippy huh? Now this next song I got for ya you may not agree with, but this is my blog and my rules.  So here's some Space with 'Female of the Species.'

YAY!! That was a fun song! Ok, now listen to this...'Werewolves of London' by Warren Zevon.

And the hits just keep on coming! So are you digging this? If not, then piss off outta here! Just kidding. Ok let's get to the next song. Alice Cooper's 'Feed My Frankenstein.'

BOOM! Hella good song! No way this list would be complete without an Alice Cooper tune. Now this next song may or may not cause me to catch some shit...But whatever. Here is Antsy Pants with 'Vampire.'

Ok, ok, I know, I know. Not the best song, but it does have a tendancy to get stuck in your head. Up next how about some Rob Zombie...Here's his song, 'House of 1000 Corpses' from his film with the same name.

I had to throw in some Zombie. Fuckin' had to. Now this is an older song, but it's still a kick ass tune. In fact, I think they used this song on 'Scream.' Here's 'Little red Ridding Hood' by Sam the Sham and the Pharaohs.

Now wasn't that fun! Killer song from 1966. On second thought, not sure if it was in 'Scream' but in any case, it rox my sox. Now let's listen to this. Here's one from when I was a kid. Here's Will Smith and DJ Jazzy Jeff with 'Nightmare On My Street.'

Ahh. Memories. Damn, I jammed that tune when I was little! Classic! So for the final song of this list, I chose 'Psycho Killer' by The Talking Heads. ...'Better run run run run run run away!'

ROCK!! That song is AWESOME! I know it's dorky, but so am I. And so are you if you dig this tune. But hey, it's all in good fun.

Well, there it is. Ten great songs with some kind of horror element to them. I know there are a ton left that I didn't mention, but shit, it would like take me all day and then some to list all of them. But at least I got a good start. I may be doing this from time to time we'll see how it goes. Ok then. Hope you enjoyed the tunes, and be sure and stop by and see what Sasha's wearing today. I'm sure it's quite revealing...So until next time, take care, stay a-scared, and I am out!!  

Zombie Zane

THE EATER By: SASHA SLAUGHTER

He wants to eat you...

What it do, what it does?? Sasha here with you && this week we'll be doing something a little different. Ever hear of the TV series Fear Itself?? No?? Me either until Zane turned me onto it (haha..turned me on...rawr!!). Anyway, Fear Itself was a TV series in 2008 and was created by Mick Garris. It's an anthology series of horror and Sci-fi fantasy shows. The shows run about 42-43 minutes and it aired on NBC in the summer of 2008. The series ended on July 31st after it's 8th episode, leaving 5 episodes written and produced, but never aired. And heres a factoid for you, the theme song of the show is "Lie, Lie, Lie" by Serj Tankian of System of a Down...awesome! So kick back while I review the first episode of Fear Itself, it's called "Eater".

When rookie policewoman Danny Bannerman gets assigned to guard the serial killer referred to as "the Eater" the night gets precarious when two of her fellow officers begin to act very strangely...Dwayne "The Eater" Meller is brought into the police station in shackles and handcuffs and put into a holding cell. He pulls something out of his sleeve and begins chanting and weird things start happening and the only person that realizes it is Bannerman. The Sergeant briefs the officers on Meller and tells that them that in span of 2 years he's killed 30 people in 5 different states. He then tells them that he kills the male victims quickly but keeps the females to torture them and eventually cook and eat their body parts. He also tells them that he made clothing out of their skin and used their skin to make lamp shades.

Danny Bennerman, who is intrigued by morbid things, asks the Sergeant if she can look at Mellers' file. She reads the file and as she does, the lights flicker and she hears loud noises coming from the holding cell. She goes upstairs to check on him and finds him sleeping. She calls for Mattingly, the officer in charge of sitting in the holding room, and he is nowhere to be found. She goes to check on Meller because she thinks he isn't breathing and realizes that the cell is unlocked. Mattingly appears out of nowhere and tells her it's not a good idea to go into the cell. She notices that he is acting strangely, as was Marty, the other officer on duty. She accuses them of messing her because she is the only woman on the force. Mattingly pins her against the cell and tries to bite her but she runs away.

She goes to the main enterance to find that the doors are chained shut so no one can get in or out. She goes into one of the offices and finds Mattingly's body under his desk with his heart ripped out. She tries the phones and hears chanting on the other end. She meets the Sergeant in the locker room and tells him that she thinks that Meller escaped and killed Marty and Mattingly by eating their hearts and assuming their identities. She tells him that Mattingly told her of an old Cajun legend that says if you eat the still beating heat of another person that you can assume their body and their identity. The Sergeant is skeptical but goes with Bannerman to look for Meller.

They go into the holding room and find Marty hanging from the ceiling with his heart ripped out. They see another body behind the couch and Bannerman takes the bag of the head only to discover that it's the Sergeants body with a bullet hole in the forehead. Meller assumes the Sergeant's identity and tells Bannerman that he wants to eat her. She runs away and tries to get out of the locked doors when Meller assumes his own identity and eats her ear. She gets away and hides in a closet where she covers her neck in rat poison so when Meller tries to eat her...

AHHH!! If you're curious about the ending, how about you go ahead and give Fear Itself: Eaters a watch?? Now onto what I thought! WOW!! This is the first time I've ever heard of or watched this series and I gotta say, I'm impressed. The whole Cajun voodoo-switching bodies-cannibalism thing was just awesome! And not to mention that the character Meller was CREEPY! He was freaking tall and scary looking with the absolute most messed up teeth ever (Someone call that man a dentist!!). There was no nudity and no cussing, but thats no big deal really. There was a good bit of blood and a little bit of guts, and the plot was good enough to where there really didn't need to be alot of boobs and swearing to make it good. Overall I'd give this little gem a 4 out of 5...WOW!! I really liked this episode. The acting was good, the plot was good...it was just damn good!! I cannot wait to watch the rest of the series! And while you're here, check out Zombie Zanes stuff, you'll be glad you did!!

Sasha Slaughter

SHAAAAARK!!! By: ZOMBIE 'Shark Bait' ZANE

WHOA DADDY! Coming to ya live and direct from the seven six one oh seven which is also known as the hottest place in the fuckin world. Could it be any hotter? Yes. Yes it could be. And I fear that the worst isn’t over yet. I may melt away before I finish typing this so if I stop in mid post, you’ll know the reason why.

So, since it’s hotter than Hades here, I thought this would be a good time to review a movie that takes place in the water. Good idea huh? This week at Dead End Horror, we’re gonna be doing kinda a hodgepodge, or an olio if you will. No particular theme, just kinda this and that. Not to worry though, it’ll be good. We are professionals after all. Ok, so how about we wrap up the foreplay and get to this weeks shit, yes?

Have any of you guys seen, ‘Open Water?’ It’s a total kick ass film! I know there are some haters out there who found it hard to sit through and rather boring, but fuck off outta here. It’s a great movie with tons of sharks. And just a little fyi, ‘Shark Week’ started on Sunday so they both kinda go hand in hand. I love me some shark shit!


‘Open Water’ is an indie film that was released in 2003. And yes, it is a horror film. It was directed by Chris Kentis and his wife Laura Lau. Now these guys pretty much made the whole movie themselves. No shit. So that’s pretty impressive, don’t ya think? It was shot for around $500,000 and I think the film grossed something like $55 million overall. It runs just about 80mins and it can be found on Netflix. Not for instant watch yet, but it’s still available on dvd. I got mine at Half Price Books for like $3 so I really lucked out there. Ok, let’s get to the plot and stuff.


PLOT AND STUFF - Now this film is based on a true story. No, it is. It’s based on an American couple (Tom and Eileen Lonegran) who in the late 90's were scuba diving off the Great Barrier Reef and were actually left behind because the dive boat crew fucked up the head count. The couple was never heard from again. (Cue the dramatic music...NOW!) Pretty freaky-deaky stuff, huh?


Now the plot is basically like the above paragraph, so I’m not gonna waste yours, and what is infinitely more important, my time on rehashing it. Just rest assured that this is one scary fuckin film and it should mos’ def’ be watched. What makes this film scary is that it could/did actually happen. I mean it’s mind blowing scary to think about just floating around in the ocean with no land in sight and just waiting to become shark food. With this film all ya gotta do is just put your self in the actors’ place and I guarantee ya it’ll freak you out.


Ok, time for the scores...


BODY COUNT - 2- A small number, but shit, there isn’t but 10 people in the whole film.


SEX SCENES - 0 - No humping. BOO!


NUDITY NUMBER - 1.5 out of 5 - A bit of bush, a bit of boob.


SEVERINGS - 0 - Nada here either. But this film is still scary enough without amputations.


GORE SCORE - 1 - Not really much gore, but as I said, this film is more of a mind fuck.

MY SCORE - 4.75 out of 5 - Great movie! Great acting! Great music! Just all around one of the best horror movies out there. I know there are gonna be those who didn’t/won’t like it, and those people can suck it. This film is truly worth 80mins of your time. Would I lie to you guys? Hell to the naw! So get somewhere cool, grab some snacks, and kick back and give ‘Open Water’ a day in court.

Zombie Zane

Well, that’s all I got for now. Be sure and look at Sasha’s stuff as well. She just loves showing it off. So until next time, take care, stay a-scared and I am out!

PS!! Here's a little something to watch before ya vamos....

DON'T GET YOUR CROTCH TRAMPLED BY THE DEER WOMAN! By: SASHA SLAUGHTER

I'MMA SNAKE!!! I'MMA SLITHERY LITTLE SNEAKY SNAKE!! Ohh hey there!! Umm...sorry bout that! I was having a moment..don't ask. This week at Dead End Horror we're doing a "Mixed bag O shit" (Sounds gross right? haha). It's basically just a bunch of awesome shit all crammed together with no specific theme...you'll love it!! I'll be reviewing Masters of Horror episode 7: Deer Woman. Deer Woman was directed by John Landis and runs about 57 minutes. Here we go!!!

Police detective Dwight Faraday discovers that several male murder victims who come into the morgue all have the same things in common...They all seem to have been trampled to death during a state of sexual arousal (BONER ALERT!!) and all of the bodies have hoof prints on them. He is called to the first incident when someone calls to report a possible dead body in a truck parked at a bar. Upon going into the cab of the truck he discovers that the body is almost unrecognizable. He questions one of the workers of the bar and he tells Faraday that the man that was killed was seen leaving with a beautiful Indian woman. He told him that she had yellow eyes that a deer in headlights would have.

While handling another case, Faraday realizes that there were trample marks starting from the groin (Owww) and went upward several times. He goes to the coroner to figure out how the man died. They talk for a few hours trying to figure out how a deer could possibly fit into the equation. Later that night at home Faraday tries running other scenarios about the death of trucker and he comes up with nothing (The deer in the flannel shirt and jeans scenario was funny as hell!). Faraday takes Detective Reed to the morgue the following day to see a new body that had the same trample marks as the first. There was deer hair on the body along with hoof prints. They realize that all of the witnesses described a beautfiul Indian woman being seen with the men shortly before they died.

While Faraday and Reed were in the morgue another body was wheeled in. They are told that the body just arrived and is in the same state as the previous two. They go to the investigate the crime scene where the third body was found and discover bloody hoof prints on the roof where the murder took place. Faraday believes that it's an animal killing people, possibly a deer. He talks to the coroner and she tells him that she found deer DNA on the third body. While at a casino Reed and Faraday are overheard by one of the employees talking about the case. Faraday suggests that it's an Indian woman that is luring men into seculded places and then turning into a deer and killing them. The employee tells them that that is part of an Indian folklore and that it probably isn't true.

Reed asks Faraday to go to the casino with him and he declines. While at the casino Reed meets a beautiful Indian woman and takes her back to his place. Faraday calls and he begins to talk about the folklore when Reed tells him he met a woman. Faraday pauses and asks if Reed has seen her feet. Reed gets quiet and tells Faraday that he's an idiot and to send back up. When Faraday reaches Reed's apartment he finds him dead, trampled to death. He sees the deer woman in the apartment and shoots her. She stays down for only a moment and then kicks Faraday and runs. He chases her down in his police cruiser and eventually catches up to her in the middle of the road. She is standing infront of a tree when he steps on the gas and...

Oooh what happens??? Go ahead and give Deer Woman a watch and find out. I personally wasn't very impressed. I was mildly amused by the scene of the deer in the flannel shirt and jeans but other than that, Ehh.. I was kind of bored actually. There were some body parts, a bit of blood, and two boob shots..ehh, nothing special. They didn't show the actual killings, which kind of sucked. Murder scenes are a must!! And you know what else??? The deer woman was a total prick tease! For real! She'd give her victims a raging hard on and the off the poor bastards!! Finish what you start deer woman! :D Overall I'd give Deer Woman a 2 out of 5. I gotta say, I was glad when it was over. That was 57 minutes of my life I'll never get back!! Boo!! And hey, while your eyes are being pleasured by my writing, you should check out Zombie Zanes stuff too! He'll show it to anyone and everyone. =)

Sasha Slaughter

HERE'S A LIL SOMETHING TO WATCH BEFORE YA GO...The Trailer!