OH HOT DAMN! By: SASHA SLAUGHTER

How's it going creeps?? Sasha Slaughter here with you for the final time this week, and I've decided to go with the "series girl" thing again. That's right, today I'll be telling you a little about Masters of Horror season 2 episode 1: The Damned Thing...ooooh! It was written by Richard Christian Matheson and directed by none other than Tobe Hooper. The Damned Thing was inspired by Ambrose Bierce's classic short-story of the same title. So let me tell you a little more about it.

The Damned Thing is an apocalyptic story of a monstrous force that devastates Sheriff Kevin Reddle's family and his small town of Cloverdale. As a child back in 1981, Kevin witnessed his father going insane and shooting his mother, before almost being killed himself.  But before his father can kill him,  Kevin watches in horror as he is disemboweled by an invisible force. Before Kevin's father is killed, he says aloud that the "damned thing" has found him.

Fast forward twenty-four years later to the small town of Cloverdale. Kevin is the town sheriff living in his childhood home where his mother was slaughtered. Due to extreme paranoia, Kevin has mounted surveillance and video camera's throughout the house and on the property. Kevin's wife Dina, decided to leave Kevin and take their young son Mikey with them because of the mental strain his paranoia causes. With the weather starting to turn violent, and people not feeling well, Kevin fears that the thing that killed his father is on it's way to kill him too. The normally peaceful town of Cloverdale quickly turns violent as people being going insane and killing themselves, and one another.

Kevin kept a "dream box" of his fathers and one night decides to pick the lock. Upon opening it he finds nothing, but then realizes there is something under the lid. He opens the lid and finds articles about a town named Sturgis that was plagued by the same madness after opening an oil well that had quickly dried up. Many of the citizens killed each other, with the total body count reaching 208, and Kevin's parents were among those who survived and fled the city.

Madness begins to sweep over the sleepy town of Cloverdale and even Kevin's peaceful wife Dina is not immune. He walks into her and her son's home shortly before Dina tries to kill their son. He stops her and she snaps out of it. They decide to go back to Kevin's home to be safe. Upon arrival, Kevin realizes that some of the towns people have taken shelter in his home because they are afraid of the mayhem that is happening outside. He locks them in the basement and tells them it's the safest place for them to be. Dina and Mikey hide upstairs while Kevin figures out what to do. But soon enough, Kevin begins to succumb to the evil that has been searching for him all these years.

Oooh supernatural creep! What ever could be destroying the town of Cloverdale? Well if you really wanna know, check out Masters of Horror: The Damned Thing. Now, lend me your ear and I'll tell you what I thought about it. The beginning scene was amazing. I'm talking a gory death scene within the first four minutes. And by gory I mean GORY! The dude shot his wife in the chest and then in the stomach...her intestines came out and there was guts...It was awesome! And from there, it kind of slowed down a little. It feels like the story was almost rushed a little to make the 60 minute time slot, and it didn't really explain a whole lot. Like, there was something about oil wells and drilling....what??? I didn't get it! 

And this really bizarre scene with this guy telling himself a dirty joke before killing himself with a....Ohh I won't give it away, but it didn't really seem like it belonged in the episode. I will say though that there were a good bit of killing scenes and a damn good amount of blood and gore. I mean, the guy that was pretty much getting disemboweled at the beginning?? All I can say is GROSS!!! ahhh! And the priest character really got on my nerves. He was so mean and in every one's business, and was really condescending to people. I thought priests were supposed to be all Godly and nice?? Well this one was an asshole. And a totally unbelievable one at that.

Ok, and the deputy and his stupid cartoon drawings?? What was that?? It was a total waste of time if you ask me. They could have spent the time explaining the story and developing it. Instead they wasted it on deputy dumb ass and his cartoon rat. Suck it. And another thing, like I said, the first scene was amazing and I was excited that maybe the rest of the episode would be just as explosive. I was wrong. Some of the story and scenes were kind of inconsistent. Overall I'd give The Damned Thing a 2.5 out of 5. If they would have taken more time to explain things and develop the plot, it could have been better. 

The only reason I gave it a 2.5 was the death scenes and the copious amounts of blood and gore. Ohh and lastly, my one final complaint...When you finally get a glimpse of the "Damned Thing" prepare for disappointment. They build you up and make you think "Oh man, this is gonna be scary". I think not. It looked like a giant CGI cartoon that made dinosaur noises. F that noise. Well now, since I'm done yammering, go on and see what Zane's up to! Thanks for stopping by.

MORE FUN THAN A WELL OILED MIDGET AND A CANDYCANE BY ZOMBE ZANE

What it do- what it do motherfuckers! We’re baaaaaaaaaaaack! Did you miss us? Of course you did. Hope everyone out there had a happy Thanksgiving. As for Sasha and I, our holiday was awesome! We totally ate till we puked, drank till we passed out, and had enough time to attend a spanking party. All in all, not a bad holiday. So, what’s poppin, slimes?

As for me, I’m doing good. My New York Football Giants continue to take it on the chin. I hate the fucking Saints! We had such promise a few weeks ago. How the mighty have fallen. Oh well, whatta ya gonna do. 

Anyway, it’s been a while since we’ve talked some horror. How about we get to some? So since the holidays are here, Sasha and I have decided to sprinkle in some holiday horror movies for ya. We figure on doing a couple each week so be sure to look for them.

I’m also gonna give you a list of some of my favorite holiday horror movies I know that you can’t wait for that. Not sure when though. It’ll be this week for sure I’m just not sure on day. I think I’m also gonna go out on a limb and do a book review. That’s right, I can read motherfucker.  

As far as what Sasha has for ya this week, I know she’s gonna be reviewing the film, “Dead End,” which by the way is a great holiday horror film. Umm...she may do some Masters of Horror, not sure what else though. But as you know by now, it’s gonna be good. I mean when is it ever not?

Oh yeah, one more important note. We’re gonna be posting our normal schedule (which is Mon-Fri for those who are new here) up until December 19. Then, due to the holidays, we’re gonna shut it down until after the new year. Not sure our return date, but it won’t be long after Jan. 1
That is if we are all still here.

Don’t be sad, what did you expect? Sasha and I do have family believe it or not. And we even on occasion get into the whole Christmas thing. We are human...well, kinda we are. 

Anywho, that’s it for today. Be sure and check back tomorrow and see what’s on the slab. Maybe Sasha will be half naked like she was last night...Until then, take care, stay a-scared and I am out! Peace peace and jump up and slap your pappy grease!

A JAPANESE MIDGET WITH SYPHILIS...WHAT WHAT?? By: SASHA SLAUGHTER

Baaaaa!! Hey there sheep!! Did you miss us?? Sure you did. But Zane and I are back now, so don't you get to frettin. This week, and more than likely this month, will probably be random stuff. Ya know, whatever we feel like doing. Is that ok with you?? If not, too fucking bad. Our blog, our rules. And besides, you know how it is...we're professionals! 

So today I'll be doing a little review of Masters of Horror episode 13: Imprint. I haven't done a series review in a hot minute or 6 right!!?? "Imprint" is the 13th and final episode of season one. It was directed by Takashi Miike, who is said to be "one of the most unsettling horror directors alive". We'll see about that! 

The episode was scheduled to appear on TV but was shelved due to concerns about its extremely graphic and disturbing content. And Imprint was also based on a Japanese horror novel, with this version being the first uncensored episode to be available in America. So let's get to it.

Christopher, a Victorian era American journalist, is traveling through Japan in search of his true love, Komomo. She was a lost girlfriend whom he promised to rescue from her life of prostitution and bring to America. He lands on an island mainly populated by whores and their masters. He is solicited by a tout (a Japanese midget tout with syphilis to be exact). He asks about Komomo and she claims to have no knowledge of her, but asks Christopher to spend the night. 

He requests the company of a girl, whom he saw hiding in the shadows. Disfigured and obviously disturbed, the girl tells Christopher that she has a closer connection with the dead than she does with the living. He asks about Komomo and where she is. The girl tells him that Komomo had hung herself after her love never came for her. Distraught, Christopher seeks solace in Sake ( a rice based alcoholic beverage for those of you who don't know) and requests that she tell him a bedtime story.

The girl recounts her past-her mother, who was a midwife, was forced to sell her to a brothel when her father died of lung cancer. She tells him that Komomo was the most popular girl there, and it made others jealous. She tells him of the time when the Madam's jade ring was stolen and how Komomo was tortured and forced to confess to the theft. After she suffered hideous and painful torture- her underarms were burned, needles were driven under her fingernails and into her gums- she tells Christopher that Komomo killed herself in shame and torment. He refuses to believe the girls story, telling her that Komomo would never have done that and demands to know the truth.

The girl starts telling her story again, this time her family is no longer happy or loving; her father was an alcoholic, and her mother was an abortionist. She was taken in by a Buddhist priest who molested her and inspired her obsession with hell. She again tells him that she was sold into prostitution, but she delivers a new version of the twisted fate of Christopher's beloved Komomo. Despite the kindness of Komomo, who befriended her, the disfigured girl stole the jade ring and planted Komomo's hairpin to frame her- and after Komomo was tortured, she killed her. 

She then explains to him that she intended to save Komomo from hell: since Komomo would be doomed for having such an evil friend, and that only through betrayal could she sever the friendship and ensure Komomo a beautiful afterlife. Christopher desperately begs for the truth and believes something has been left out. The girl reveals a horrifying secret: her mother and father were actually brother and sister, and she was a product of their incest, but she wasn't the only one. Just then....

If you want to know the rest, I highly suggest that you watch "Imprint."  All I can say is WOW! I don't even know where to begin! This episode was just...insane. I think that the Showtime people were a bunch of bitches for deciding not to air it, but whatever. Director Miike literally shatters every taboo imaginable, from abortion to incest, and torture. I was a little disturbed by some of the content. I love horror and I love being grossed out, and this did it for me. 

There was a Japanese midget with syphilis and half of it's nose missing, Japanese chick boobs (which were mostly nip if you get my drift) brain matter, and torture that made me squirm in my chair! I never looked away, but I wanted to a few times. Overall I'd give imprint a 4.5 out of 5. I mean, it was just all kinds of messed up. It was visually stunning, the use of colors and special effects were amazing, especially with the aborted fetuses, that kind of creeped me out a bit.

The acting was decent, although I had enough of Christopher (played by Billy Drago). He looked like a strung out cadaver and his acting was awful! What made "Imprint" great was the plot twists that came out of nowhere. I never saw half of this stuff coming! 

It kept me interested, and grossed out, the whole way through. I think by far this is my favorite Masters of Horror episode. The director is one twisted man, but thank you for that hour of insanity Mr. Miike! So that's that, how about you go and check out what Zane's got going on?? It just might make you squirm too! And don't forget to stay away from smelly, KFC eating, ghost busting, sausage stuffed in a dress cops. Ewwwwwwwwww!!!

ZOMBIES, SEX, AND...MORE NECROPHILIA?? By: SASHA SLAUGHTER

Hey all you necrophiliacs out there!! EWWW!! That was gross right??? Good. Sasha Slaughter here with you for the final time this week...and this month too! Today I'll be going gross on y'all, I hope you like it =). I'll be reviewing, “ Masters of Horror Episode 12: Haeckel's Tale.” (also known as Clive Barker's Haeckel's Tale). George A. Romero was originally supposed to direct the episode but was replaced by John McNaughton due to a scheduling conflict. It was written by Mick Garris and was based on a Clive Barker short story first published in the anthology series “Dark Delicacies: Original Tales of Terror and the Macabre.”

The story is set in the late 19th century and begins with a young man named Edward Ralston. He goes to an old woman named Miz. Carnation, who lives in an old cabin deep in the woods. Ralston asks Miz. Carnation, who happens to be a necromancer, to revive his recently deceased wife. Miz. Carnation refuses and decides to tell him the story of Ernst Haecke.

She tells him that if he still wishes his wife to be revived after hearing the story, she will grant his wish. The tale begins with medical student Ernst Haeckel, who is trying to follow in the footsteps of Victor Frankenstein, and his quest to bring the dead back to life. He argues with his professor the existence of God and says he can prove he can bring the dead to life.

His professor agrees to watch the demonstration at Haeckel's lab. When the professor and other students arrive they see a dead naked woman on a table with various metal things attached to her. Haeckel flips a switch and harnesses the power of lightning to electrocute the woman back to life. The woman is electrocuted and then quickly catches fire. Everyone laughs at his desperate attempt and leaves.

Chester brings in another body to Haeckel and he tells him that he doesn't want it because he's failed and cannot figure out how to bring the dead back to life. Chester suggests that Haeckel goes to see a necromancer named Montesquino at a nearby park who claims he can raise the dead. Haeckel is skeptical and doesn't believe that the man can do such a thing. Chester tells him he's seen it with his own eyes and that he should see for himself.

That night Haeckel goes to see Montesquino in the park to see if he can really revive the dead. Montesquino says he has a non-believer in the crowd and offers to demonstrate his powers. He shows the crowd a dead dog in a basket and tells him he will bring it back to life. He starts saying some sort of spell and there is barking and whining coming from the basket. He lifts the lid and the dog is alive.

Later that night while he is still in utter shock, Haeckel decides to visit Montesquino and asks him to show him how to bring the dead back to life. Montesquino tells him no because it took years to master the craft and that he can tell Haeckel is a non-believer. The following morning Haeckel receives a letter from his fathers doctor saying that he is very ill and only has days left. He decides to go visit him and sets off on foot.

 He walks all day and night when it starts to rain. He takes cover over an old oak tree and starts a fire. A man finds him and introduces himself as Wolfram and offers to let Haeckel stay in his home for the night to get out of the rain. He tells Haeckel is it unwise to stay outside and Haeckel demands to know why it is unwise. Wolfram tells him that because he is young he probably doesn't fear the workings of the world and that there are nights when it's good not to sleep next to a place where the dead are laid to rest. He moves the tree branch and shows him what he calls Necropolis.

He takes Haeckel back to his house and introduces him to his young wife Elise. Haeckel is instantly attracted to her and she feels the same way. During dinner Wolfram asks Haeckel if he has ever been in love, and Haeckel tells him only fleetingly. He then asks Haeckel is he has ever experienced physical love. Haeckel is offended and lets Wolfram know that he crossed the line.

He apologizes and Haeckel says that he is tired. He is lying in bed and sees Elise staring out the window and touching herself through her clothes (Someone needs to diddle!). She catches him staring at her and stops touching herself but continues staring out the window. Some time later he awakens and sees Wolfram handing Montesquino money and shortly after he sees Elise in the kitchen nursing a baby. Just then he hears a piercing scream coming from the woods. Elise goes to leave and Wolfram asks if she has to go and she runs out the door.

Wolfram begins crying when Haeckel comes out of his room to see what’s going on. It is then that Wolfram tells him that he cannot satisfy his wife and that Haeckel himself wouldn't be able to either. Haeckel brings up the fact that they have a child but Wolfram tells him that it's not his, and that the baby's father is dead. He tells Haeckel that he has sold everything he can so his wife can be satisfied.

Haeckel is confused and runs out the door to follow the screams he hears in the necropolis. Wolfram catches up with him and pleads with him not go and find Elise and tells him that he doesn't understand. He tells him that Elise is in love with her first husband and always will be. Haeckel goes into the necropolis and cannot believe what he's seeing- he sees Elise having sex with a corpse whom Wolfram tells him is Elise's dead husband.

Wolfram ties to tell Elise that it is time to go home, but some of the corpses attack and kill him. Haeckel demands that Montesquino stop what’s happening but he tells him he can't. Angry and frustrated, Haeckel shoots the necromancer as he tries to escape.

He tells him one last time to make it stop and he tells Haeckel that it will stop when the sun comes up and there's no other way. Before he dies, Montesquino slams Haeckel into a tomb and he is knocked unconscious. The following morning Haeckel wakes up and goes back to the cabin and finds Elise nursing a baby, and she asks Haeckel to hold him. He hesitates and she shoves the baby into Haeckel's chest and the baby rips out his throat...........

WOW!!! What a sadistic little corpse zombie baby. Yikes! If you wanna know the rest, check out “Masters of Horror: Haeckel's Tale.” But I will say, if you don't like gore or horror or necrophilia for that matter, I wouldn't recommend this episode.

I don't even know where to begin! This episode was AHHHHHMAZING!! It had everything a girl could ask for...blood, guts, boobs, necrophilia (not that I'm into that or anything), death, and a homicidal zombie baby. It was AWESOME!! Ahhhh!!! The plot was freaking incredible. Mick Garris is a true horror genius!

This episode had zombies, necrophilia, intestines, sex, blood, black magic and gore all crammed into one hour...genius I tell you! And the ending sort of blew my mind, I never saw it coming at all. The special effects were great, the acting was decent and the story itself is just all kinds of disturbing. I mean, a hot chick boinking zombies in a graveyard every night from sunset to sunrise and liking it??? WOW!!!Just thinking about that give me the wiggins.

Although I'm not too crazy about the corpses being fertile and able to procreate, that's kinda not believable. It's like vampires having sperm and being able to reproduce...WHAT?? It doesn't make sense! But we're not talking about vampires here, we're talking about a girl fornicating with the dead...isn't that illegal??

Hmm. Anyway, I'm gonna give Haeckel's Tale a solid 5 out of 5. I usually never score anything a 5, but this episode was gross and awesome and disturbing and I like stuff like that. I definitely may watch this again in the future!! Since you're here reading about getting it on with corpses, how about going to see what Zane's got going on??? It may not involve zombie sex, but it will probably still be gross. Thanks for stopping by Dead End Horror.

Sasha Slaughter

                                                                  

WANNA GIVE ME A RIDE?? By: SASHA SLAUGHTER

Hey there horror fans! Sasha Slaughter here with you for yet another week of randomness. Why another week of random stuff you ask? It's simple really. Our blog, our rules. Got it?? Now that we've got that straightened out, let's get to some horror huh??

Today I'll be reviewing Masters of Horror episode 11: “Pick Me Up.”  It was directed by Larry Cohen and stars Fairuza Balk. Does that name sound familiar? Yeah. She was one of the actresses from the movie, “The Craft.” Kick ass movie. Anyway, so let's get to it huh??

On a two-lane highway, two serial killers are in the middle of a turf war: One is named Wheeler (Who picks people up in his truck and kills them) and Walker ( A hitchhiker who murders anyone that gives him a ride.) And Stacia, who is recently divorced and trying to get away from her problems.  She ends up in a battle of wits with the two killers.

                                                                                
A transport bus breaks down and the passengers are worried. Stacia decides to walk to the motel 14 miles down the road while the rest of the passengers stay behind. A trucker pulls over and asks if anyone would like a ride. Two out of the four passengers accept and Deuce and his girlfriend Marie decide to stay behind with the bus driver. The driver takes them to a truck stop to eat and rest for a while.

Meanwhile back at the bus, a man named Walker appears from the woods and asks the bus driver for a ride. The bus driver tells him the bus is broken down and Walker asks if he would have given him a ride had the bus not been broken down. The bus driver tells him yes he would. Just then the bus driver sees a dead snake inside of Walker's coat. Walker tells him that everyone is afraid of snakes and then strangles the bus driver with the dead snake. Walker goes into the bus where Deuce and Marie are and shoots poor Deuce.

Back at the truck stop, a passenger named Birdie asks to see what’s in the back of Wheeler's truck. He takes her to the back and a few minutes later they show him locking the truck and saying "Bye bye Birdie". Wheeler and Danny are back in the truck when it cuts to a scene of Birdie hanging in the back of the truck with chains around her neck. They stop at the bus to see if the passengers are still there. They get there and can't find anyone. Danny finds it odd that everyone would leave without their luggage. Just then, he opens the second luggage compartment and finds Deuce and the bus driver dead inside.

                                                                                  
Wheeler grabs Danny and puts his head under the door of the luggage compartment and slams it shut, decapitating him. The whole time this was happening, Walker was watching from the woods across from the bus. Wheeler hears Marie screaming and goes into the woods to find her tied to a tree, covered in barbed wire left to die. He tells her that he can't help her because she isn't his and walks away.

                                                                             
Walker flags down a van driven by  a stoner and his girlfriend. They offer him a ride. Shortly after he accepts the ride, Wheeler stops along the road and finds the body of the stoner with his throat slit. Meanwhile, Stacia found the motel and gets a room for the night.

Over in the next room, she can hear moaning and screaming so she tells them to keep it down. The scene then cuts to Walker and the stoner’s girlfriend. Lily, (the pot-heads girlfriend,) is tied to a bed, half naked and getting skinned alive. Wheeler pulls into the motel and gets a room next to Stacia's. She goes to the soda machine but it wont work and Walker appears out of nowhere and offers her a quarter and asks if he can fix anything in her room. She declines and is about to go back to her room when Wheeler appears. He asks her if she was with the bus that broke down and she asks how he knew that.

                                                                                                                                                              Wheeler and Walker realize that they have each been killing people that were from that same bus and a turf war had begun to get the rights to kill Stacia. She gets freaked out and goes back into her room. While in the bathroom she hears scratching noises on her window. Walker is outside using a knife on her window to try to get in. She gets scared and grabs her stuff and flees the room.

While walking along the road, Stacia stops to look at a billboard when Wheeler comes out from behind it. He tells her that he is a cop and offers her a ride in his truck. She accepts and he tells her that Walker is a poacher and likes to hurt people. He tells her to look in the glove compartment and everything will be explained. She leans down and he bangs her head against the dashboard and knocks her out.

                                                                               
She wakes up handcuffed and strapped in with the seatbelt. Wheeler is driving when he finds Walker standing in the middle of the road. He stops and Walker asks if he can have a ride. Wheeler tells him to get in and they begin playing head games with each other. They argue about who gets to kill Stacia and draw their guns, ready to kill Stacia and each other.

 Stacia, who is sitting in the middle, uses her foot to slam on the brakes and Walker and Wheeler fly out of the windshield. They lie still for a few moments before getting up and trying to get to the cab to kill Stacia. They begin fighting each other for the rights to kill Stacia when the ambulance sirens sound. They both pass out and wake up in an ambulance. The EMT tells Wheeler he's lucky and he has a few broken bones and asks him about the gun. He tells the EMT he's innocent. Wheeler looks over and sees Walker beside him and starts freaking out and bitch slapping him. They finally calm down and Walker suggests how much fun they'd have with an ambulance and pulls out a knife. Just then the EMT plunges syringes full of air into their chests and....

                                                                                           
Ohh I don't know!! Syringes full of air sounds like death to me, but what do I know??? If you wanna know what happens, go on ahead and watch Pick Me Up. I actually really liked this episode. Much better than the previous one, that's for sure.

 There was some brief nudity (Just a little boob shot), a decapitation, a strangulation with a dead snake, and a chick getting skinned alive! What's not to like??? This was a great episode. A good bit more gory than most of the others. The acting was good, except for the truck driver guy. He just creeped me out!! His voice got on my nerves..it was soo annoying! Another thing I wasn't crazy about...The opening scene was a fucking sneaky, slithery snake. I will not lie, I shuddered when I saw that. It totally gave me the heebie jeebies!! I hate snakes!!

                                                                                  
Minus some cool points for that! Overall I'd give Pick Me Up a 3.5 out of 5. The gore was just right, not too much and not too little. And the end surprised the hell out of me. Never saw it coming!!! I was definitely impressed with this episode. Now that you know how I feel, go check out Zane's favorite songs from horror movies!! Thanks for stopping by.

Sasha Slaughter

3 WAY WITH A PARASITIC BUG...WHAT WHAT??!! By: SASHA SLAUGHTER

Hey now! What's good? Okay, this is another post by the busty Sasha Slaughter. Again, we're making some changes around here and as of now we're right on schedule. So as I've been saying, we'll have new shit on Monday so until then, hang tight and enjoy these re-posts. Thanks for your patience and we'll see you on the flip side! Mucho love-o, your buddy, Zombie Zane.

This time I'm telling the truth, this is the final day of random stuff month...I promise!! Sasha Slaughter here with you creeps for the final time this week to bring you one last day of totally random shit. Since I am the "series girl" (According to Zane) I'll be reviewing Masters of Horror episode 10: Sick Girl. It was directed by Lucky McKee and based on a story written by Mckee and Sean Hood.

Ida Teeter is a shy entomologist who has a wide variety of insects throughout her home, which happen to be the cause of her most recent break up from her girlfriend. Max Grubb, a fellow employee of Ida's, informs her that her obsession with her job is the reason why her lady friends never stick around very long. She is heartbroken by this and decides to try something different. She runs into the beautiful and strange Misty Falls, who sits in the lobby of McNaughton Museum of Natural History everyday and draws pixies on her sketch pad. She is instantly attracted to Misty and is enamored with the possibility of being with her, but her co worker tells her "Babes or bugs. You can't have both".

That same day a mysterious package shows up on Ida's doorstep. It is postmarked from Brazil and it contains a large mantis-like insect. The landlady knocks on Ida's door and says she is concerned with all of Ida's "pets" and asks her to please keep them in check. Later that night she examines the mantis-like creature and fondly names him Mick. She calls Max and tells him about the creature and leaves to go speak to him. Shortly after Ida leaves, Mick escaped from the plastic tank. The following day Ida finally gathers up the courage and asks Misty to dinner that night. Misty enthusiastically agrees and they go out do dinner at a Chinese restaurant. Misty then asks Ida if they can watch a movie called "Texas Pixies" on Ida's DVD player. Ida agrees but is worried what Misty would think of her large collection of bugs. Meanwhile, while they are on their date, Mick finds the Landlady's dog and drags it into one of Ida's bedroom pillows and eats it. Later on there are posters advertising the lost dog.                                      

 Ida shows Misty the apartment but makes sure to not let her see the bug collection. They drink bourbon and watch "Texas Pixies" together. They start getting closer but Ida sees one of her bugs, named Max, and rushes to put him back in the cage. When she comes back she sees that Misty has fallen asleep on the couch. She goes to the bedroom and gets a pillow (The one that Mick is hidden inside of) and puts it under Misty's head. She wakes up from her drunken slumber and realizes she is too drunk to drive. Ida allows Misty to stay the night. Misty returns the favor by stripping off her shirt and seducing Ida. Mick is still in the pillow and while Ida and Misty are together, Mick nips Misty's ear, but she dismisses it. Ida wakes up the following morning to find that Misty has found her vast bug collection and has a great interest in it. Ida also discovers that her favorite professor, the great Malcolm Wolf happens to be Misty's father.

Ida finally realizes that Mick has escaped and the two spend the morning searching the apartment for him. Ida describes the bug to Misty and Misty draws a picture for Ida. Ida leaves to take the drawing to Max, but Max doesn't take the matter seriously. Shortly after Ida leaves, Misty begins feeling pain in her right ear. She scratches it and finds a small sample of some foreign saliva and then suddenly becomes too weak to stand. Ida comes back from her meeting with Max and discovers that Misty brought her things with her and is starting to move in. Misty starts displaying strange and unusual tendencies, such as an appetite for Ida's bugs.

                                                                                                     

 While doing the laundry, Misty finds the pillow that Mick has been hiding and has the strange urge to lay next to it. While doing so, Mick comes out of the pillow and invades her incredibly chewed on ear. Ida gets a letter that same day and it seems almost apologetic in nature, which she suspects is from Malcolm Wolf. The letter explains that the insect could be dangerous. Ida finds Misty in the hallway and Misty grabs her for a passionate kiss in front of the landlady and her young granddaughter. She is disgusted by the display and berates the two women before giving them two weeks to pack their things and move out. When they get back into the apartment, Ida tells Misty that she is horrified by her strange behavior and crude remarks to the landlady. Misty goes into a rage and then passes out. Upon waking up Misty tells Ida about a fairytale-like dream where she was a fairy resting on a lily pad. She then encountered a beautiful bug, whom she described as Mick. She tells Ida that he landed on her and inserted his proboscis into her navel and inserted "his juices" into her. The phone rings and it's Max asking Ida to come to the lab immediately.

When she arrives at the lab Max tells her everything about the bug from Brazil. He tells her that the bug is found inhabiting the nests of birds and other animals where it behaves like a parasite. It inserts its proboscis into the animal and drinks its blood while at the same time invading the hosts reproductive DNA and making the host carry out the insects young. Max insists that its funny, but Ida is terrified that Misty had in fact been bitten by the bug. Back at the apartment the bug inseminates Misty during a sexual encounter. Misty leaves the apartment and finds an eviction notice stapled to the door. She sees the landlady and says crude and offensive things to her. The landlady is revolted, calling Misty a monster when Misty morphs two insect eyes, and the terrified landlady falls over the stairway to her death.
                                            

Ida returns home to see the corpse of her landlady being wheeled away by medics. Misty tries to make light of the situation in front of Betty, the landlady's granddaughter. Ida is repulsed that Misty would do such a thing and calls Max over to her apartment. Ida finds Misty in the bathtub and she reveals to Ida that the bug has been in a pillow the whole time. Ida is almost convinced that the insect has bitten Misty when Misty reveals a secret. She tells Ida that her father, Malcolm Wolf, sent the insect to Ida in hopes that it would bite her and make her repulsive to Misty. Misty gets out of the tub and morphs into a human-bug monster. Ida begins screaming and Max breaks into the apartment only to be instantly killed by Misty. While Ida is laying on the floor, Mick scurries over to her and....

What does the creepy little bug to do poor Ida?? If you wanna know that badly, watch Sick Girl and find out!! Now, I'm too sure about this episode. I mean, the people in it were weird. Ida was incredibly awkward and Misty was strange too. The acting was definitely over the top, although I think it was meant to be a little campy. There really wasn't much blood, no nekkidness (And you'd think you'd see some cuz there were some sensual lesbian moments...but noooo) and like 2 death scenes. Ehh. The bug looked kinda creepy, I'd spaz if I found something like that gnawing on my ear, that's for sure. And Ida's voice was the absolute most annoying thing ever...OMG!! She kind of sounds like Kat Von D, but more aggravating, if that makes any sense. It was just awful. The whole episode was insanely cheesy, especially the end. I think overall I'd give Sick Girl a 2 out of 5. Definitely not my fave MOH episode. I won't be watching this episode again, even if you paid me. Now that that’s over with, how about you stop by and see what Zombie Zane is up to. I hear he blogs wearing nothing but a smile!!! Thanks for stopping by and as always, check back next week for all new stuff here at Dead End Horror.

                                                                                           

Sasha Slaughter and ???

                                                                                           

TRIP ALONG WITH ME BY: SASHA SLAUGHTER

Ughh I need some coffee up in this bitch!!! Oh hi there! Sasha Slaughter here with you and we'll be bringing you 2 more days of complete randomness. Oh yeah!! So I was kind of stumped as to what to do today, so Zane helped me out a little. He recommended that I give the movie Shrooms a watch, so I did. And now I'm going to tell you all about it...or almost all about it. So put your hand down your pants and get comfy, cuz here we go!

When a group of adventurous American kids on holiday in rural Ireland eat some magic mushrooms, they find themselves plagued by nightmarish visions. Is it all real or is just drug induced paranoia? Tara and her friends Lisa, Holly, Bluto, and Troy meet up with Jake, Tara's one time boyfriend in Ireland for a trip they'll never forget. Jake plans on taking them into the woods and introducing them to magic mushrooms. On they way into the woods Tara hits an animal on the road and everyone gets out to investigate. Two hillbilly creepers come out of the woods (Irish hillbilly creepers that is) and look at the animal and Jake tells everyone that they want the dead animal. He picks it up and places it in front of them and they leave. They set up camp in the middle of the woods and go searching for magic mushrooms.                 

Jake is talking to Troy and Holly when they find a mushroom with a black tip. Jake tells them that it can kill anyone who eats it by stopping their heart or making their kidneys or lungs explode. He then tells them that in ancient Irish stories the mushrooms were said to cause premonitions, the ability to talk to the dead, shape shifting and uncontrollable ferocity. Tara isn't with the group when they are warned about the black tipped mushrooms and comes across one while walking through the woods. Always wanting to be a bit more dangerous, Tra decides to eat one. Soon after she starts hearing and seeing things. She collapses onto the ground and is having a convulsion when Jake finds her. She tops breathing and he gives her CPR. She coughs and starts breathing again telling him that she knew he was coming for her.

He carries her back to camp and Lisa takes her into a tent, gives her water and tells her to rest. After she leaves the tent, Lisa joins the others while Jake starts telling them a story. He tells them the story of the abandoned house a few miles away from where they are. He tells them about a boy (He was called the Lonely Twin) who went insane and killed 78 people, but they never found him or the person they called The Black Brother (Does that sound as racist to you as it does to me?). Tara starts seeing images of the story that Jake is telling. He tells everyone that there are stories of people hearing voices and seeing things in the woods and sometimes getting hit by rocks that are thrown from nowhere. Everyone starts freaking out and decide to go to bed.   

Bluto gets into a fight with Lisa and she kicks him out of the tent. He goes to the fire where the mushrooms are boiling and drinks the tea they made from the mushrooms. Shortly after he starts tripping hardcore and wanders into the woods. He comes across a talking cow who tells him that he is fucked (Ha..that talking cow was funny). The cow tells him not to walk in the direction that he was headed but he goes anyway. He thinks he sees a girl in the woods and follows after her. He sees a car parked in the middle of the woods and remembers the story Jake told him. He said that if you see a car in the woods and two people are making out inside, if they flash the light three times you are supposed to go to the window and put your dingus inside the window, and the girl inside will give the guy a happy ending (A romance explosion!). He goes to the window and puts his dingus inside and a head appears and he thinks he's getting a blow job when a head falls out of the window. He backs away and gets pulled back in front of the car and gets his dingus bitten off. He is trying to escape when a dark figure (The Black Brother) hits him with an axe.

                                                                                  

Tara had a dream that there was trouble and goes out looking for Bluto in the woods. She finally finds him talking to a cow and brings him back to camp and puts him in her tent to go sleep. The next morning Lisa wakes up with some of her hair cut off and a pair of scissors beside her and she thinks that Bluto did it. So Tara and Lisa go looking for him because he left in the middle of the night again. Tara and Lisa find everyone back at camp, already tripping, and tell them that they can't find Bluto. No one seems to care and they find his shoes and shorts next to the river. Tara, Lisa, and Holly all go looking for him in the woods. Just then Tara has a vision of Bluto being killed and sees a dark figure coming out of the woods. She tells Lisa and Holly what she's seen and that she is seeing things before they happen.

Lisa and Holly start to fight and they roll down an embankment and Lisa rolls into a ditch. She sees a hand above the ditch and thinks it's Tara or Holly trying to help her. She grabs the hand and Bluto's body rolls on top of her. She gets out of the ditch and starts freaking out. They start hearing noises in the woods and Tara goes to see if it's Jake and Troy. She sees the dark figure in the woods and tells everyone to run. Holly finds a shed in the woods that belongs to the two hillbilly creepers. They let her in and she asks if they have a phone. They tell her they do, but she realizes that it doesn't work. They tell Holly that they used to me in the home that Jake was telling them about. She goes into the bathroom and locks herself in when she hears noises outside the door. The two hillbillies let something into the shed and ran out the door and locked it. She escapes from the shed and runs into the woods.

                                                                       

Tara goes looking for her and finds her scarf on a branch by the river. She eventually finds Lisa in the woods and tells her that she thinks Jake’s stories are real. She then starts going into convulsions and sees the hillbilly creepers chasing Holly. She is hanging onto a tree when one of the creepers is killed. She sees Holly come down from the tree and start talking to the thing that was locked in the shed. She gives him candy and tells him she wants to be friends. He looks at her for a minute and then jumps at her, and that’s where Tara's vision ends. She tells Lisa that Holly is dead and tells her to go in the river and look by the rope. Lisa does as Tara says and finds an axe in the river and Holly's lifeless body floating next to it. Tara tells Lisa that she (Tara) is next to die. Lisa freaks out and runs away from her. Tara then has a vision of Lisa getting killed by the dark figure in the river.                                       
                                                                                                      

Tara finds the old house from Jake’s story and goes in it to see if she can find Jake and Troy. Jake and Troy are in the house but are hiding from The Lonely Twin and The Black Brother. They keep hearing someone calling their names. They lock themselves in a room and as Troy is trying to find another door to escape, the Lonely Twin finds him and stabs him with a knife. Something comes after Jake and he runs and jumps out a window. Tara hears him and runs outside to find Jake laying on the ground. She puts a splint on his leg and says that they can get through this together. They are walking through the woods when she tells him that the figure is near them because she can feel it. She tells Jake to stay put and goes to investigate. Jake hears the dark figure in the tree above him, and then it attacks him. Tara rushes to Jake to find him dying, before he dies he tells her that he loves her. She runs through the woods trying to escape the dark figure when she runs into it. She wakes on a Gurney and has flashbacks of everything that happened and realizes that...

Well now, if you want to know what Tara realized, watch Shrooms and find out for yourself. You'll be glad you did. So, my thoughts on Shrooms...It was AWESOME!! Good job Zane!! That was a really good movie. I didn't even see the ending coming, it definitely surprised me. I read the reviews of the movie and a lot of the people said the end was cheesy...WTF were they watching?? Piss off!!! I totally stole that from Zane =). Anyway, there wasn't an excessive amount of gore, just enough to make it good. Some films are a bit too gory, which makes them not so believable. But Shrooms had just the right amount of gore and suspense to make it good. You had no idea whether it was just a horrible trip they were all on or if someone or something was whacking them one by one. Overall I'd give Shrooms a 4 out of 5. The acting was decent, the plot was good, the ending surprised me and the talking cow that was cussing at the guy was just plain funny. I mean, the cow told him he was fucked...or was the cow really talking at all?? Hmmmm!!! But yeah, I highly recommend this movie to you, our faithful blog readers. Thanks for stopping by and don't forget to swing by and see what Zane has in store for you...it might just blow your minds!

Sasha Slaughter

                                                                                                            

BEWARE THE FAIR HAIRED CHILD By: SASHA SLAUGHTER

Hey hey hey!! Sasha Slaughter here with you for another mind blowing week of pure talent and awesomeness...can you handle it?? =) This is the last week of random hodgepodge stuff (Boo! After this Zane gets to boss me!) and I'll be reviewing Masters of Horror episode 9: The Fair Haired Child. It was written by Mick Garris and directed by William Malone (Who happened to direct Feardotcom and House on Haunted Hill).

Young loner Tara is on her way home from a day of being tortured at school when she notices a van following her. While riding her bike through the woods she feels like someone is following her and just then a van runs into her. A man (Anton) emerges from the van, drugs Tara and tosses her in the back. Tara wakes up hours later, her mind hazy and a little confused. She sees a woman (Judith) sitting in the room with her. The woman says that she is a nurse and that Tara was found on the side of the road drugged. She then tells her that she is in Vermont and Tara starts freaking out and telling her that she's from Connecticut and doesn't understand what she's doing there.

Tara tells her she needs to call her mom and the woman says it's OK. Tara reaches her mom but her mom is too wasted to help. When Tara realizes the woman calling her by her name without telling her what it was, she freaks out and tries to leave. She yells out the window for help and notices she isn't in a hospital, but she's in someones home. The man from the van runs into Tara and grabs and he and his wife throw her into the basement. Tara hears noises in the basement and sees a teenage boy trying to hang himself. Tara helps him and gets the rope off of his neck. She quickly understands that he can't speak so he writes her messages in the dust of the basement floor. They begin looking for a way out when they see the words "Get out before it wakes up" scratched into a cabinet.                   

They then see a door with the words "Beware the fair haired child" carved into it. They open door and find a room full of backpacks from other children who had been kidnapped, a bathtub stained with blood and a cabinet full of skulls. Meanwhile, Judith and Anton are outside digging up a grave and taking body parts from a bag and putting them into a barrel of acid. (Idk how that's relevant to the story...whatever!) They are both having flashbacks of the drowning death of their fifteen year old son and the ritual they performed to have him brought back to life.

Back in the basement Johnny starts spazzing and writes "It's coming" in the dust on floor and then collapses. Tara screams that they killed him when his body starts convulsing and this creepy looking thing crawls out of Johnny's body. It begins chasing Tara and eventually finds her hiding in a furnace. She narrowly escapes the thing and gets away from it before it can harm her. Judith hears the commotion in the basement and says "Do what you have to do....so you can come back to me". Johnny wakes up and tries giving clues to Tara so she can figure out whats going on. She figures out that Johnny is actually Judith and Anton's son Jonathan and that they are trying to bring him back to life. He helps her figure out that they made a deal with a demon to kill twelve children every year on his birthday. He reveals to her that she is the last child they need to kill in order for him to come back to life.  

He writes "Please forgive me" on the wall in chalk when the room goes black and the screaming starts. Jonathan turns into the creepy thing and starts eating Tara's insides. His parents go down into the basement and find Jonathan all bloody with a note written by Tara in her own blood reading "I forgive you Johnny". They realize that he's OK and back to normal. Later that night he is sitting alone quietly when his parents ask him what he's doing. He replies that he is waiting for something. He gets up and tells them that he was always jealous of their musical abilities and that he realized he has a talent of his own. The talent for bargaining. His mother begins to ask him what he's done and then....

What exactly did little Johnny bargain for?? Guess you'll have to watch Fair Haired Child and see for yourself. Now onto what I thought!! Ya know, I actually kinda liked it! The plot was really good and so was the acting. There wasn't a whole lot of violence or anything, but it got the point across without needing any of that. There was a bit of blood but none of the three B's (Sorry pervs!!!). Overall I'd give Fair Haired Child a 3 out of a possible 5. I KNOW!! I enjoyed watching it and the ending surprised the hell outta me! And that little creepy thing crawling outta Johnny with it's jerky movements and it's glowing night vision eyes....YOWZA!! That was creepy with a capital C ya'll!!! It gave me the wiggins for sure! So, that's all you need to hear from me. Don't forget to check out what Zane's got in store for the last week of random stuff month. I'm almost certain it just might contain some nudity...or more corpses...who knows! So stop by and see!!

SASHA SLAUGHTER