A JAPANESE MIDGET WITH SYPHILIS...WHAT WHAT?? By: SASHA SLAUGHTER

Baaaaa!! Hey there sheep!! Did you miss us?? Sure you did. But Zane and I are back now, so don't you get to frettin. This week, and more than likely this month, will probably be random stuff. Ya know, whatever we feel like doing. Is that ok with you?? If not, too fucking bad. Our blog, our rules. And besides, you know how it is...we're professionals! 

So today I'll be doing a little review of Masters of Horror episode 13: Imprint. I haven't done a series review in a hot minute or 6 right!!?? "Imprint" is the 13th and final episode of season one. It was directed by Takashi Miike, who is said to be "one of the most unsettling horror directors alive". We'll see about that! 

The episode was scheduled to appear on TV but was shelved due to concerns about its extremely graphic and disturbing content. And Imprint was also based on a Japanese horror novel, with this version being the first uncensored episode to be available in America. So let's get to it.

Christopher, a Victorian era American journalist, is traveling through Japan in search of his true love, Komomo. She was a lost girlfriend whom he promised to rescue from her life of prostitution and bring to America. He lands on an island mainly populated by whores and their masters. He is solicited by a tout (a Japanese midget tout with syphilis to be exact). He asks about Komomo and she claims to have no knowledge of her, but asks Christopher to spend the night. 

He requests the company of a girl, whom he saw hiding in the shadows. Disfigured and obviously disturbed, the girl tells Christopher that she has a closer connection with the dead than she does with the living. He asks about Komomo and where she is. The girl tells him that Komomo had hung herself after her love never came for her. Distraught, Christopher seeks solace in Sake ( a rice based alcoholic beverage for those of you who don't know) and requests that she tell him a bedtime story.

The girl recounts her past-her mother, who was a midwife, was forced to sell her to a brothel when her father died of lung cancer. She tells him that Komomo was the most popular girl there, and it made others jealous. She tells him of the time when the Madam's jade ring was stolen and how Komomo was tortured and forced to confess to the theft. After she suffered hideous and painful torture- her underarms were burned, needles were driven under her fingernails and into her gums- she tells Christopher that Komomo killed herself in shame and torment. He refuses to believe the girls story, telling her that Komomo would never have done that and demands to know the truth.

The girl starts telling her story again, this time her family is no longer happy or loving; her father was an alcoholic, and her mother was an abortionist. She was taken in by a Buddhist priest who molested her and inspired her obsession with hell. She again tells him that she was sold into prostitution, but she delivers a new version of the twisted fate of Christopher's beloved Komomo. Despite the kindness of Komomo, who befriended her, the disfigured girl stole the jade ring and planted Komomo's hairpin to frame her- and after Komomo was tortured, she killed her. 

She then explains to him that she intended to save Komomo from hell: since Komomo would be doomed for having such an evil friend, and that only through betrayal could she sever the friendship and ensure Komomo a beautiful afterlife. Christopher desperately begs for the truth and believes something has been left out. The girl reveals a horrifying secret: her mother and father were actually brother and sister, and she was a product of their incest, but she wasn't the only one. Just then....

If you want to know the rest, I highly suggest that you watch "Imprint."  All I can say is WOW! I don't even know where to begin! This episode was just...insane. I think that the Showtime people were a bunch of bitches for deciding not to air it, but whatever. Director Miike literally shatters every taboo imaginable, from abortion to incest, and torture. I was a little disturbed by some of the content. I love horror and I love being grossed out, and this did it for me. 

There was a Japanese midget with syphilis and half of it's nose missing, Japanese chick boobs (which were mostly nip if you get my drift) brain matter, and torture that made me squirm in my chair! I never looked away, but I wanted to a few times. Overall I'd give imprint a 4.5 out of 5. I mean, it was just all kinds of messed up. It was visually stunning, the use of colors and special effects were amazing, especially with the aborted fetuses, that kind of creeped me out a bit.

The acting was decent, although I had enough of Christopher (played by Billy Drago). He looked like a strung out cadaver and his acting was awful! What made "Imprint" great was the plot twists that came out of nowhere. I never saw half of this stuff coming! 

It kept me interested, and grossed out, the whole way through. I think by far this is my favorite Masters of Horror episode. The director is one twisted man, but thank you for that hour of insanity Mr. Miike! So that's that, how about you go and check out what Zane's got going on?? It just might make you squirm too! And don't forget to stay away from smelly, KFC eating, ghost busting, sausage stuffed in a dress cops. Ewwwwwwwwww!!!