SUCK IT!! By: ZOMBIE ZANE

...ALL THE RIGHT FRIENDS IN ALL THE RIGHT PLACES...Oh, I’m sorry. Just rockin out to some OneRepublic. Don’t hate. You know you rock to it too. Now if I open with some show tunes or some Celine Dion, then you can hate. Hell, I would totally deserve some shit for that. But in any case, It’s your pal Zombie Zane once again spinning it live and fuckin’ direct from the seven six one oh seven. What’s poppin’ slimes? Well, this is gonna be the final post for the week so kick on back and chill out with me for a few. Got anything better to do? Not anymore ya don’t. Ain’t that right kid sister.

So to cap off the week I decided to watch one more old school monster movie. I mean that is what this week’s about. In case you’re late to the party, Sasha and I have dedicated the month of July to old school horror. Why? Because we can. And old school horror movies are cool. What’s better than chilling late night with a few beers, some bad-ass junk food and an old B&W horror movie on the TV. Well...maybe fuckin’ is better, but this isn’t a fuck blog. Hell to the naw! It’s a horror blog. So let’s knock off the foreplay and fuck talk and get to today’s movie.

Ever see ‘ATTACK OF THE GIANT LEECHES?’ It totally fucking sucked! Just kidding. But leeches...suck...get it? I hope so. Anyway, this film is one of many monster movies made in the 1950's. This film comes from AIP (American International Pictures) and was released in 1959. It was directed by Bernard L. Kowalski and it runs for just about 62mins. It’s also known by a couple of other names as well: ‘Attack of the Blood Leeches,’ ‘Demons of the Swamp,’ and ‘War of the Giant Leeches.’ Most of these 50's monster movies were actually made in response to cold war fears. (See, I know some shit.) Ya see, in most of these type of films, it’s like radiation, or something that causes whatever animal, or thing to mutate and become larger than normal. Hence, that was the era of the cold war. Fuckin nuclear weapons right?
Now that I gave you some nuggets of knowledge, let’s get to the plot of this thing shall we?

And it goes a little something like this: While fucking about in the swamp, Game Warden Steve Benton and his girlfriend come across a an old dude who is on death’s doorstep. This poor bastard has strange looking wounds and is suffering from major blood loss. Then when more hunters and poachers come up missing, (how do ya come up missing? I mean aren’t ya just missing?) Anyway, when more people are found missing, (again, how can you be found missing? Aren’t you just missing? I mean if you’re found than you’re not missing! What the fuck?) Let me try again...After several more disappearances (There, that was better) The game warden decides to investigate the swamp...Wanna hear the rest? Tough shit. I’m sure you can guess that he finds the giant leeches and tries to kill them while saving the town. Predictable yes. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t watch it. Let me give you my score and then you can decide for yourself.

I give ‘ATTACK OF THE GIANT LEECHES’ an average 2.5 out of 5. Which really isn’t that bad for one of these kind of movies. Believe me, I’ve seen some real shit piles that come from this same era. Again, it’s just one of those movies that you wanna watch late night with a bag of chips or something. Just a good old fashioned B movie. So look into it.

Well, that’s all I got for this week. Sasha and I will be back next week doin’ it - and doin’ it- and doin’ it well. Not sure how we’ll close out our old school horror month, but we’ll think of something. And be sure and check out Sasha’s stuff. She’s got some good-goods and she wants to share. So until next time, take care, stay a-scared, and I am out!

PS!! WANNA SEE THE TRAILER? HERE IT IS...

CREATURE OF THE BLACK LAGOON By: SASHA SLAUGHTER

Alright alright!! Sasha Slaughter here for the third and final time this week to bring you another dose of old school horror. Today I'll be giving you a little review of the movie Creature of the Black Lagoon. So how about you sit on down enjoy my take on Creature of the Black Lagoon.

Creature of the Black Lagoon came in out in 1954 and was directed by Jack Arnold. Dr. Carl Maia is in the Amazon when he discovers the fossil of a hand in lime stone. He goes to a science institute to have the hand looked at and tries to determine what it came from. A group of scientists at the institute agree to go on an expedition with Dr. Maia to search for more fossils. Upon returning to his camp, Dr. Maia discovers that two of his men were attacked and killed. Soon after the scientists begin digging up the lime stone to retrieve fossils, only they dig for eight days and find nothing. One of the scientists suggests that maybe part of the lime stone had been in the water and thinks maybe they should search underwater for fossils. They all agree and take a boat to what the boat captain calls the Black Lagoon.

They dive in the lagoon to search for rocks to test when a creature appears and watches them. They come back from the dive to test the rocks while Kay, one of the scientists, goes for a swim in the lagoon. As shes swimming, the creature is fascinated by her and follows her and tries to grab her feet, she feels something and moves and the creatrure swims away. She swims back to the boat and after she gets on, something gets caught in the net but it tears through the net to escape. Some of the scientists go back into the water to try and find what got caught in the net. They see the creatrure and swim after it but it hides and when they turn around it swims the other way. Finally they catch up with it and shoot it with a harpoon. The creature swims away out of sight and men go back onto the boat.

The scientists are studying pictures they took underwater when they hear screaming and discover that the creature came aboard and took one of the crew memebers and went back into the water. Lucas, the captain of the boat, gives them a drug made from root to put in the water to try and paralyze the creature so they can capture it. At first it doesn't work so they decide to make the drug so it can sink and reach where the creature may be. Shortly after the creature attempts to climb onto the boat but is scared away by a lantern. Two of the scientists, Mark and David, go looking for the creature and find it's footprints on the beach. The creature walks up behind Kay and grabs her but collapses onto the ground because of the drug.

They take the creature back to the boat and put it underwater and secure it so it can't go anywhere. Most of the scientists go to run test on various things and that leaves Kay and Dr. Thompson to make sure the creature doesn't escape. Dr. Thompson and Kay are talking when they hear a loud noise and realize the creature escaped. It injures Dr. Thompson in an attempt to take Kay, but she throws a lantern at it and it dives into the water. Mark decides that they've had enough and says that it's time for them to leave. They almost reach the end of the lagoon but soon discover that there are tree branches blocking their way out. They realize that the creature put them there and is trying to stop them from leaving. After a few failed attempts to move the branches, David dives into the water to attach the cables to the branches so they can be moved.

While David is attaching cables Mark sees the creature and shoots it with the harpoon gun. The creature removes the harpoon and comes after David, ripping off his oxygen hose. The creature leaves and Mark takes David's lifeless body out of the water. They decide to drug the creature one more time to keep it away long enough so they can remove the branches. Mark drugs the creature and attaches the cables but he comes aboard to find the creature with Kay in his arms and it dives into the water. It takes her into a cavern and...

Well hey, if you really wanna know what happened I highly reccomend you watch it and see. This film really wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I really am a newbie to this kind of old school horror (Zane is schooling me...hardcore.) But I actually really liked the movie. Some of the dialogue was over the top (In a good way). The acting was good and I especially liked the underwater scenes, they were really cool. I think overall I'd give this a 3 out 5...I know right!! It kept me interested and waiting to see what would happen next. The creature was a little on the cheesy side, but it kind of had a little creep factor to it too. Obviously there was no butt or blood or anything, but I don't really think this movie needed it. Although, I do have to say that the men of the movie were really bad at fighting off the monster. All it had to do was put it's hands on them and they died..Ehh!! It truly is a cult classic though. And heres a little side note, Creature of the Black Lagoon will be remade in 2013!! What???

But there you have it, my take on The Creature of the Black Lagoon. Don't forget to check out Zombie Zanes stuff, as always, you'll be glad you did. And of course, check back next week for more stuff here at Dead End Horror. Toodles!!

ONE MORE THING BEFORE YA GET OUTTA HERE....

HOWL AT THE MOON By: SASHA SLAUGHTER

Well yippie ki yay motherfu...Ohh heyy there! Sasha Slaughter here and since this is still classic horror month, Zane and I will be reviewing some classic movies this week. I'll be doing a review of The Wolf Man, so stay and check it out K?? The Wolf Man came out in 1941 and was directed by George Waggner.

After being gone from home for eighteen years, Larry (played by Lon Chaney Jr.) returns home after an unfortunate hunting accident claims the life of his brother. While helping his father put together a telescope he sees into the top floor of an antique shop and sees a pretty woman named Gwen. He goes to the antique shop and asks for earrings and then goes on to describe a pair that she had on her dresser that he saw through the telescope. She says they aren't for sale but she shows him canes. He sees one with a silver wolfs head with a pentagram on it. She tells him the legend of werewolves and teases her for believing in them. He buys the cane and asks to see her later that night at 8. As they are getting ready to leave they see gypsies coming into town. Just then Gwen's friend Jenny came around the corner and asked if it was ok if she came with them. They go to see the gypsies to have their fortunes told. On the way in to get her fortune told Jenny picks of boquet of wolfsbane.

Jenny wants to have her fortune read first so she goes into the tent and sets her wolfsbane down on the table. The male gypsy Bela (played by Bela Lugosi) tells her to cut the cards and then he takes the wolfsbane and throws it on the floor. He looks at Jenny strangely and looks down at her hand and sees a pentagram. The gypsy immediately orders her to leave and says to come back the following day. Larry and Gwen decide to go for a walk while Jenny is getting her fortune told. Suddenly they hear screaming and Larry runs over to see Jenny being attacked by a wolf. He fights it off and the wolf bites him before he beats it to death with his silver cane. A woman gypsy and Gwen take Larry home and explain that he had been bitten by a wolf.

The doctor and other men go back to the marsh to discover that Jenny had been murdered, her throat had been ripped out. They also discover the body of Bela across from Jenny, dead from a crushed skull. The doctor comes the following morning to examine Larry. Larry is told that they found his cane next to the body of the gypsy. Larry tells them that he didn't kill the gypsy, he killed a wolf. He insists he was bitten and shows the doctor the wound, but there was nothing there. Jenny's mom and other townswomen go to Gwen's fathers antique shop and accuse Gwen of being responsible for the death of Jenny. Just then, Larry comes in and they all leave because they believe he killed the gypsy. Larry is talking to Gwen when her fiance Frank comes in. Larry leaves quickly and Frank warns her to stay way from Larry because he's harmful.

Frank and Gwen go into town where the gypsies gathered to celebrate the  passing of Bela and they run into Larry. Frank invites him to play a game and Larry agrees. They are playing a game and shooting at targets with guns. Larry hits all of his targets until one of them is in the shape of a wolf. He shoots and misses and puts the gun down and runs away. He meets up with the gypsy woman she tells him that Bela was a werewolf and that Larry killed him. Larry is in disbelief and then the gypsy woman tells him that because he was bitten, he too will be a werewolf. She gives Larry a silver charm to wear over his heart to protect himself. The gypsy woman then tells all of the other gypsies that there is a wolf in town and they all pack up and leave.

Larry goes home and finds that he is turning into a werewolf. After the transformation is complete he goes into the graveyard and finds a man digging a grave and attacks and kills him. He wakes up the next day and finds dirty animal prints leading from his window to his bed and then sees a pentagram on his chest. He talks to his father and asks about the legend of werewolves. He then asks if his father believes in the legend and his father says that he believes that it is all in a persons head. Friends of Larry's fathers come over to discuss the wolf and Larry tells him that he believes it is a werewolf. He asks the doctor if he believes in werewolf legends and he says that mostly it's a mental illness that causes people to believe they are something they are not. Afterwards the doctor tells Larry's father that he belives that Larry is mentally and needs to leave immediately and go to a mental institution, but his father insists that Larry is fine and will stay at home.

Later that night, Larry wolfs out and is wandering around the graveyard when he gets caught in a trap that the townsmen set to catch the wolf. The men hear the trap and come to see whats in it. Before they reach him, the gypsy woman finds Larry and says a prayer and turns him back into a human. He escapes from the trap and tries to run away. Two of the men searching for wolf find him and he tells them that he's hunting the wolf also. He goes to see Gwen and tells her that he needs to leave but she insists that she go with him but Larry tells her no. He then sees a pentragram on Gwen's hand, which means that Gwen is his next victim and then runs away.

He tries telling his father that he killed the wolf which was really the gypsy Bela and that he killed the man in the graveyard because he is the werewolf. He father doesn't believe him and ties Larry to a chair so he can't go anywhere to prove that he isn't the werewolf. His father then goes with a group of men to hunt the wolf and he sees the gypsy woman. He begins to accuse her of filling Larry's head with lies when he hears a gunshot and men saying they swear they shot him. Gwen appears in the woods looking for Larry. The gypsy woman tells her that she needs to go with her to save herself from Larry but Gwen runs away. Larry escapes from his house and sees Gwen in the woods. He runs after her and grabs her but then his father.....

Ah ha!! I got you again! I'm trying this new thing where I don't give away the ending..we'll see how it goes. Anyway!!! Maybe you should check out The Wolf Man and see how it ends for yourself. This movie was pretty good for being from 1941, and I think it's actually the second oldest movie I've ever seen. The special effects weren't horrible, but they weren't great either, but it was the 40's so it's all good. Of course there was no nudity or blood or anything like that, but back then they didn't really do that sort of thing. There were 3 or 4 dead bodies, thats not too bad. Overall I'd give it a 2.75 out of 5. It kept my attention throughout and the plot was actually really good. And do not forget to check out Zombie Zanes stuff...he'll let you take a peak. =)

PS!! HERE'S A LIL SOMETHING FOR YOU TO WATCH BEFORE YA VAMOS!!

DRAIN THE LIZARD!!

WHATTA YA HEAR, WHATTA YA SAY! Zombie Zane here once again coming at ya live and direct from the seven six one oh seven. A.k.a. the glass furnace. Or the pit of hell. Or the suck. Or whatever analogy you would like to insert. Anyway, this month is all about old school horror. If you’ve been following this blog, you already know this. If you haven’t, well know you know now. (I totally stole that from a BEP song.) We’ll get back to newer shit next month. But until then, kick back and roll old school with us.

Ok, so this week we’re all about monster movies. Ya know, giant shrews, wolfmen, fucking creatures from lagoons, giant man eating lizards, you dig me, right? So today I thought I’d tell you about the film ‘THE GIANT GILA MONSTER.’ Have you seen that one? No? Not a prob Bob. Allow me to educate. I know the title sounds fucking retarded, but believe it or not, it ain’t as bad as it sounds. It’s one of the better B movies out there. But then again, that ain’t saying much I guess. Ok, enough of this foreplay. Let’s get to today’s movie.

‘THE GIANT GILA MONSTER’ is a 1959 made in America sci-fi film. It’s directed by Ray Kellogg (who also directed the film I reviewed yesterday; ‘The Killer Shrews.’ What a happy coincidence.) It was released in June of ‘59 and it runs just about 75mins. It’s available on DVD as well. You can find it on those ‘bargain box sets’ or on a double feature disc put out by Legend films. And on a side note, the one put out by Legend is actually in color. So that’s pretty cool. Oh, and this movie is also considered a cult classic as well. So again, it’s gets a few extra cool points. Now that I gave you the particulars, let’s get to the plot, yes?

Basically it goes down like this: A huge man eating Gila monster is eating its way through a small, rural Texas town. It’s munching everything it can. Anything from livestock to the poor townsfolk. Now at first, none of the townspeople know what the fuck is going on. People just seem to be vanishing. But with the help of a local teen, the town sheriff finally figures out just what the fuck is really going on. And like all monster movies, you know what comes next...Find the Gila monster and destroy it. Or try to anyway. And basically, that’s about it. I mean I could give you a blow by blow, or you could just watch the damn thing.

Now this film isn’t a bad watch. I mean it did keep my attention and it was good for a few laughs. The way they filmed the Gila monster is pretty cool. They actually used a real one and just scaled down the town via a model to make the monster look huge. So it ain’t like that retarded shit where a dude runs around in a monster costume. If you like that type of shit, go and watch Godzilla.

I guess it’s time for me to rate this motherfucker for ya. I give ‘THE GIANT GILA MONSTER’ a 2.25. I took a few points off due to the lame ass singing in it. Now I know that doesn’t make sense when I say singing, but if you watch it, you’ll see what I mean. Maybe I’ll find the vid and post it along with this review. Or maybe not. Anyway a 2.25 for ‘THE GIANT GILA MONSTER.’

That’s all I got for your ass today. Be sure and see what Sasha Slaughter has for you. She just watched ‘THE WOLFMAN’ with Lon Chaney Jr. So you’ll wanna go and check out her stuff. So until tomorrow, take care, stay a-scared and I am out! WHEN IN DOUBT, WHIP IT OUT!

PS! HERE'S THE RETARDED SONG THAT I WAS TELLING YOU ABOUT!! OMG! TOO FUCKIN FUNNY!!

DID YOU WATCH IT? LOL! ...And the lord said, laugh children laugh, the lord said...Nevermind what he said, I say another beer is in order here. Especially after that! Ok, I'm out for real. Z-YA!

DEATH BY CHOCOLATE by: SASHA SLAUGHTER

Chyeahhh, it's that time once again to bring you some awesomeness from Dead End Horror. Our theme is still infact, classic horror, but I'll be doing a little review of MOH episode 5: Chocolate. Chocolate came out in 2005 and was directed by Mick Garris, it was based on his short story.
The story starts with Jamie and he appears to be being questioned about the things that led up to him having blood all over his face and shirt. He is asked to again repeat the story of what exactly happened to him and it all started when....

Jamie, a lonely recent divorcee, is working with his best friend Wally at a food laboratory developing various artificial flavors. He gets invited to see his bosses band at a bar because his boss thinks Jamie needs to get out and socialize. On the way home that night out of nowhere Jamie loses his sight and shortly after it returns. He returns home and starts having strange visions. The next day at the supermarket he meets Elaine. They istantly hit it off and they both reveal that they are on strict diets. She goes back to Jamie's house and they decide to indulge in a junk food fest.

She ends up spending the night && they boink (Duh!). Soon after they're finished he starts getting sharp pains in his stomach, he takes pills and goes to sleep. The following morning Jamie sees visions of a man and woman having sex and he begins to feel the sensations the woman is feeling. Elaine is freaking out and just then his ex wife and son walk in to see him writhing and moaning on the bed. Everyone leaves and while he is shaving he sees a vision of a woman writing I Love You on a piece of paper. He tells the people that are questioning him that as soon as he saw the woman write that he knew exactly what love was. Soon after he starts eating chocolate, trying to make more visions come to him.

While he is at the table he has a vision of a naked woman getting into a bathtub and masturbating with the shower head, only he feels everything she feels and he experiences her orgasm. He tries to tell Wally about his visions but Wally is skeptical. He tells Jamie to see a doctor but Jamie says he doesn't want the visions to stop. He then sees a vision of a man kissing another woman. The guy is talking to woman that Jamie is connected to and tells her that he brought the girl for them to share. The woman carresses the girls face before slapping her. The guy gets up and chokes her, and thats where Jamie's vision ended. While asleep later that night, Jamie sees an image of the same man and woman having sex when suddenly she pulls out a knife and stabs the man (She almost guts the poor bastard!). After that, the visions abruptly ended.

While at work he got a vision of a womans liscense plate and looked it up online. He finds that the plate belongs to someone from Vancouver, Canada and leaves to find the woman it belongs to. He reaches the apartment where the man was killed and sees the womans paintings and finds out that her name is Catherine, but she is nowhere to be found. He eventually finds her in another complex and offers her chocolates, but she freaks out and slams the door. Eventually Jamie tracks her down and she agrees to talk to him and hear his reasons for finding her. He confides in her that he sees visions of her and that he can feel what she feels and can see what she sees. She doesn't believe him and tells him to leave her alone, but Jamie is persistent.

He tells Catherine that he only wants to help her and admits that he is in love with her and he would do anything to keep her safe. She invites Jamie back to her apartment where she confesses that she too has been having visions and seeing faces and feeling different things. She offers him a drink and they start to make out when all of the sudden she pulls a gun on him and.....

Awww!! Come on now! Did you think I'd spoil it for you? Although I have in pretty much every other review I've done...hmmm. Well I fooled ye! If you really wanna know what happened, how about you give Chocolate a watch?? Now, onto what I thought. It was ok for being only 60 mins. There wasn't a whole lot of blood except for when the one dude almost got gutted, that was kinda gross. There were a few sex scenes with a bit of boob and butt (2 of the 3 B's my friends!) and umm....a murder scene or two...don't wanna give too much away now do we? I think overall I'd give it a 2 out 5. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't really that great either. I often found my mind wandering to other things, so the movie didn't hold my interest very well..or maybe it was me...who knows??? So there you have it, my thoughts on Chocolate. Why don't you go on ahead and give it peak huh? And while you're at it don't forget to check on Zombie Zanes review of Monster Shrews. And of course faithful readers, please do check back next week for new stuff, here at Dead End Horror.

SHREW YOU BUDDY!

AIN’T NUTTIN’ BUT A GANGSTA PARTY...Ok, not really. Let me start again. COMING TO YA LIVE AND DIRECT FROM THE SEVEN SIX ONE OH SEVEN. There. That was better wasn’t it? Anywho, Zombie Fuckin Zane here once again to entertain you. Or annoy you. Or both. So this week Sasha and I are still on our old school horror kick and we got some good shit for ya. Last week we did a Bela Lugosi type of thing and this week, we’re gonna be doing an old school monster movie type of thing. Ya know, ‘The Wolfman,’ ‘Creature of the Black Lagoon’ ‘The Killer Shrews’ shit like that. Sounds neat huh? I thought you’d like it. And if not...SUCK IT! (Ok, I promise I’ll stop saying that soon enough. But it’s funny to me still.)

So what I got for your ass’ today is my take on the film ‘THE KILLER SHREWS.’ Have you seen it? Better yet, have you even heard of this motherfucker? I came across this film in one of my many horror movie sets. Ya know, those 50 movie sets put out by Mill Creek? Anyway, this film was in one of my sets so I figured fuck it. Let’s have some cold beer and see what’s up with ‘THE KILLER SHREWS.’ Wanna hear about it? Cool. So let us cut the foreplay and get to the good stuff.

‘THE KILLER SHREWS’ is a 1959 sci-fi film directed by Ray Kellogg. It’s classified as sci-fi, but to me, it’s more of a horror/monster movies. I mean, HELLO! Giant shrews are total monsters. Right? This film is actually considered a cult classic which earns it a few extra cool points. It was released on June 25, 1959 and runs just about an hour and ten minutes. It stars James Best as Capt. Thorne Sherman, Ingrid Goude as Ann Cragis and Ken Curtis as Jerry Farrel. (Who, btw, was an annoying prick in the film and I was glad he died. SPOILER ALERT!)

Now ya got the particulars, lemme give you the plot.

Here’s what we got plot wise: This scientist guy is staying on an island working on a project to aid with the worlds population issue. Ya know, too many people and not enough resources type of thing. So he fucks about in his lab and accidently creates a hoard of giant shrews. Not sure what that has to do with world population control, but whatever. Actually I do know. I remember now. The scientist guy had a theory that if we were smaller, we’d consume less and therefore be able to not use up all of our natural resources. Or some shit like that. Anyway, the giant shrews have no more food left on the island, so they decide to eat the scientist and his guests. Obviously not wanting to be shrew chew, (lol, that was funny. Shrew chew. Hey? You didn’t think that was funny? Whatever. You know it was. You can laugh. It’s ok.) Not wanting to be SHREW CHEW, the scientist and his daughter and Capt. Sherman try to escape the island. Will they make it? You’ll have to watch and find out.

As far as what I thought about this film, I gotta tell ya I kinda dug it. Man I did. It was easy to watch, not to complicated, and the giant shrews were pretty amusing. I had a good time checking it out. Maybe the Bud Light had something to do with it. I don’t know. But I was expecting some kinda retarded-ass B movie. And on some levels it was, but all in all it was an enjoyable movie to watch. Now this is the part where I run down some of the stats but these older movies just don’t have the body counts, the nekkidness, the fuck scenes, the gore...they weren’t made that way back in the day. But what I can give you, is my score. And that’s the one that matters anyway, right?

Without further ramblings, here’s the what I give ‘THE KILLER SHREWS.’ On a scale of 1-5
(1 being a shit pile and 5 being awesome) I have to give this cult classic a solid 3. At first I was gonna go 2.5 but in retrospect, I bumped it up a little. So you should look into watching it. It’s definitely worth a view.
That’s all I got for ya today. Be sure and check out Sasha’s stuff as well. She’d be glad to show it to you. Until next time, take care, stay a-scared and I am out.