MY CHEESIES WERE BETTER THAN THIS MOVIE!!! By: SASHA SLAUGHTER

Ohh yes, it's that time once again creeps and creepettes!! Ready to have your minds blown by our awesomeness, yet again? Ok, so this week is going to be random stuff week. YAY!! That's my favorite really. It means I can do what I want and Zane can't boss me! Hahaha!! Whatever, whatever, I'll do what I want I'll...Ehh never mind. So in lieu of this being random stuff week, I'm going to be telling you about a movie called Dark Town. I bought a 4 pack of DVD's at Wal Mart (Man, I loves me some Wal Mart) and Dark Town was in the set. It was released in 2004 and was directed by Desi Scarpone and written by David Birke. And stars absolutely no one I know. So let's get it!

So basically it goes like this: It's Curtis Armstrong's birthday and his family wants to celebrate. With Curtis out of the house, the family decides to decorate. Curtis's son Curtis Jr. and his pregnant wife Ellen arrive to begin the festivities. The only people missing is Curtis (Who is a slumlord and is kicking squatters out of one of his properties. But little does he know that the squatters are vampires from Bosnia. And his daughter Jen, who is living with her lover named Lisa and avoiding her family at all costs). Meanwhile in the ghetto, Rakeem and his friends are cruising around when he sees his sister with a rival gang member. They pull up to get his sister Tisha when a local drug dealer named Cinque arrives. He wants money from Tisha's boyfriend and when he refuses gunshots are fired and everyone scatters. Cinque then calls Heather, Curtis Armstrong's daughter, to tell her he has some "green" for her to hide.

                                                                             
A little while later, Rakeem and his friends are hanging out in front of a building owned by Armstrong and Rakeem believes that Armstrong is responsible for the death of his younger brother due to his negligence involving a fire that killed him. All of the sudden everyone hears a scream and the gang rushes to investigate. They rush into an alley and find a man with no head. People were spreading rumors that the headless man was from Bosnia. When Rakeem hears on the street that Cinque is with Heather Armstrong, Rakeem decides to visit the Armstrong's to extract some revenge for the death of his brother. Meanwhile, back at the Armstrong's, the neighborhood is pitch black and no one can figure out why. Curtis has just arrived home but is acting very strangely and no one knows why. His wife and son ask why he is acting so strange and he tells them to take a sip from his thermos and they'll know why. (Spoiler alert..It's not booze or coffee...It's red and sticky).                                                               

                                                                       
Curtis orders his wife to go get Ellen, his sons wife. Sandy returns with Ellen and he puts his hand on her bulging stomach. Ellen immediately begins bleeding and Sandy takes her back to lay down. Heather goes out to the garage to smoke and her dad comes out and bites her neck. He then kidnaps Ellen and takes her to a field and pulls her baby out of her. Back at the house Curtis Jr. finds a duffel bag his father left on the bed. He opens it and finds a severed head inside. That's when the horror begins. Just then Jen and Lisa arrive for the birthday celebration. Rakeem and his gang run into some neighborhood do-gooders and are held at gunpoint. The gun goes off and hits one of Rakeem's friends. They take their friend into the Armstrong's home for shelter. Bad move. As soon as Rakeem's gang enter the house, Sandy starts vomiting blood and turning into a vampire and Heather is in her room munching on her boyfriend Cinuqe's insides. Curtis returns shortly after and forces Curtis Jr. to drink blood from Rakeems wounded friend.

                                                                                 
The whole entire neighborhood is involved and almost everyone is turned into a vampire except for Rakeem. Curtis turned his daughter Jen and Rakeem rescued her. They spend most of the movie trying not to get bitten or killed. They run into a crazy alcoholic stripper with whom Curtis was having an affair. She tells Jen to change her because Curtis tried and it wouldn't work. Jen is trying to not give in to her vampire instincts but it gets to be too much and she changes the stripper into a vampire. Rakeem finds Jen turning the stripper and tries to leave. As he tries, the stripper tries to attack and eat him. Rakeem pins her down while Jen stakes her in the heart and then rips it out. Eventually Rakeem is bitten and turns into a vampire and joins Jen and her family in feeding on their victims.

                                                                    
If you wanna know what happens, go to Wal Mart or buy the set somewhere else. But if I were you, I wouldn't even waste the time. This movie was AWFUL! Omigod! That's 90 minutes of my life I'll never get back! The plot was horrible, the acting was atrocious, and the quality of the movie was just bad. At times it looked like it was shot from someone’s cell phone. And the movie was kind of confusing. Ok, I'll admit, on rare occasions it's kind of easy to confuse me. But on that particular night and on that particular occasion, I was not easily confused. Trust me, I'm a professional. There were few boob shots (Nothing to get a boner over) and some weird half naked French chick that was the supposed mistress of the father in the movie. She was weird and I couldn't understand wtf she was saying most of the time.

                                                                             
Most of the music in the movie was gangster rap, and there were a lot of gangster types in the movie, which Idk, really didn't seem to fit. I don't know how else to describe this movie other than it was a total pile of fuck (I stole that from Zane). The eyes were creepy and fangs were creepy, but even that wasn't enough to save this movie. Overall I'd give Dark Town a 1.5 out of 5. It was a terrible and ridiculous movie. It one of those movies where it was  so bad it was almost good. Some parts of it made me laugh because it was just so terrible. The absolute best part of this movie was the cheesies I ate while I watched it. True story. So now you know how I feel about that, how about you hop on over and see what Zane's got going on?? Thanks for stopping by!!

CHEESIES!!!

                                                                               


                                                                                    

UNCLE MELVIN IS A DOUCHE!! BY: SASHA SLAUGHTER

Oh hey, what's poppin slimes??? Is that getting old yet?? Ehh! Anyway, Sasha Slaughter here with you here and I certainly hope you are ready to have your minds blown by how talented we (Zane and I) are. But I'm sure you've already noticed. =) I'll be reviewing "The Inheritance" for you today. It was directed by Robert O'Hara and was released in 2011 and you can find it on Netflix. Ever hear of it? Me either!! So how about we get down to business then huh??

Five cousins (Karen, Lily, Simpson, Tyrone, and Henry) get invited to a family reunion by their Uncle Melvin at a remote cabin in rural Vermont. They arrive to discover that they are the only ones from the family that were invited, but they think nothing of it. Simpson arrives with his boss Marty and his wife (Two white people...the only white people in the movie) and his cousin tells him that he knows that their family doesn't like white people. Simpson ignores him and invites them into the cabin. There is a letter from their Uncle Melvin welcoming them to the cabin and telling them he left them something on the bar. Henry opens the box and finds bottles of booze and alot of weed (Damn, why can't I have an uncle like that??). They are sitting around getting drunk and high when four out of the five cousins admit that they are here expecting to be given money.

Karen freaks out because she's the only one there who is there for family and not money. Lily calms her down and they go into the living room to get high. After a few minutes Lily starts freaking out when she sees "The flesh is the strength" written in blood on the window. Everyone is startled and eventually calm down and go to bed. Marty and his wife go upstairs early and are going at it when he leaves to get water. His wife is laying on her stomach and feels fingers on her skin and she thinks it's Marty. There are two hay people (I don't know what else to call them!) in the room touching her and then they kill her. Karen wakes up the next morning to find her Aunt B siting in the room watching her. She tells her and Lily to wake up because they are about to start. Henry, Simpson, and Tyrone are asleep in the next room when their Uncle Grady starts beating on a drum to wake them up. He tells them to come downstairs because they are about to begin.

The cousins go downstairs to find the Elders waiting for them in the living room. They are lead to five chairs set up in the middle of the room. They sit down and their Uncle Melvin tells them about their family history. They start doing some weird chanting ritual and telling them that the older generation came here to spend time with the younger generation. Their uncle then tells them that their family came from a long line of slaves but was saved from someone they called Chakabazz. He tells them that he promised to save them from the white men if they gave him a sacrifice. So five slaves sacrificed their children to Chakabazz to be saved from the white men.

After the story was over, Simpson made a sarcastic remark and the Elders left. Their Uncle Melvin told them that the Elders felt disrespected therefore they left. Karen asked her uncle to please talk to the Elders to see if they would accept their apology. Shortly after, the Elders are nowhere to be found and the time changes and no one can figure out how it got so late. Lily starts freaking out and says she is leaving. She packs her stuff and leaves. While she is driving she sees the ghost of a slave on the road and crashes her car into a snow bank. She is looking for a flashlight when she sees people outside of her car. They open the door and drag Lily out and she disappears. Everyone at the house is trying to figure out what to do when Karen decides to take a bath and relax. While in the bath she sees her Uncle Melvin in the tub and he tells her that she is the chosen one. Just then Chakabazz appears and gets into the tub with Karen and he has sex with her and disappears.

She wakes up and sees "The blood is the life" written in blood on the wall and freaks out. She tells Henry that someone was in her room but they can't find anyone. She finally calms down and then Lily's mom Felicia shows up. They let her in and she tells them that the Elders are going to sacrifice them and that Melvin is behind everything. She tells them they'll start by draining the blood of the virgin (Lily), Impregnating the host (Karen), one warriors bones will be built into a totem pole (Tyrone), one warriors flesh will be eaten (Simpson), and then they will make the host (Karen) kill the master warrior (Henry). Melvin denies everything and using some mind trick kills Felicia. The other four run out of the house to escape and they see Marty's wife's torso in the snow with the words "You're it" written in blood in the snow.

One of the hay people attack them and almost takes Tyrone but the distract it and get Tyrone into the car with them. They decide to leave the car to find weapons and Henry sees Lily outside of the shed he's in. She tells him that he lives and then disappears. Henry tells the others that he saw Lily and that they have to save her. They leave Tyrone in the woods while they go investigate Lily's car. They hear Tyrone screaming and run into the woods as he's being dragged off by the hay people to be killed. They get into Lily's car to get warm but hear noises in the backseat. They look in the back and find Simpson's boss tied and up gagged. They run out of the car and stumble upon the Elders in the woods holding some sort of ritual calling upon Chakabazz. They tell Karen, Simpson, and Henry that they are going to be sacrificed to ensure the prosperity of future generations. Their aunt tells them that everything they have is because of them and now they must die to give it to the next generation.

They manage to escape into the woods and stop to decide what to do. Two hay people come after Karen but Simpson kills them and they run back into the house. The Elders are in the house waiting for them to surrender. They are trying to get to Simpson's room when they see more of the Elders in the hall. Karen tells Simpson and Henry to go to the room and she'll distract the Elders because it's her they want. She goes to her Uncle Melvin with a hatchet behind her back to thank him for choosing her as the host. She tries to stab him with the hatchet but he moves. Henry grabs Karen and they get into Simpson's room. They lock the door and tell Simpson to type a message to the rest of the family and send it. Henry sees Lily in the window being attacked by the hay people. He decides to go save her but he gets killed by the hay people. Karen keeps telling Simpson to keep typing and not to stop but make sure he sends the message when he's done. Karen is against the door when hands break the door and grab her. A symbol shows up on her stomach and she grabs a hatchet and walks towards Simpson....

                                                                       
Ughh! Talk about a sucky movie. Boooo!! Waste of 84 minutes, I'm tellin you what. And the title is totally off. Doesn't someone have to die in order for you to get an inheritance or something?? These were just a couple of shitty people looking for a handout from their rich family members. And the girl on the cover of the movie...WTF was that?? It had nothing to do with the movie. Totally irrelevant to the whole thing...I think it was done to catch attention and get people to watch this pile of shit movie. It didn't even get remotely interesting until almost halfway through and it bored the holy hell out of me. Overall I'd give this pile of fuck (As Zane would say) a 2 out of 5. There was a sex scene (two white people gettin it), like 2 boob shots, a butt shot, a bloody torso in the snow, a head impaled on a stick and that's about it. Not too horrible, but there could have been a bit more gore, you know what I'm sayin?? I wouldn't watch this movie again if you paid me. The acting was bad and the used that time lapsed shit in between scenes alot. BOO! Well then, since you're here how about you check out Zane's stuff too??? Until next time faithful readers! Thanks for checking us out!!

Sasha 'BB' Slaughter

                                                                      TRAILER                                                                                               

SPOOKY VON SPOOK SPOOK By: SASHA SLAUGHTER

Ohh nah nah..Heyy!! Sasha Slaughter here with you for another week of mind blowing awesomeness at Dead End Horror. Zane and I decided to make this Mixed bag O shit month!! Yay!! It will basically be random shit all month with no actual theme...you will like it!! I'll be reviewing the second episode of Fear Itself and it's called Spooked. It runs 43 minutes and stars Eric Roberts as Harry Bender. And of course, if you've been paying attention you'd know the series was created by Mick Garris. And if you didn't know, well hey, now you do!

When Harry, a former cop turned private eye, is hired to spy on a womans husband, things go terribly wrong when he is staking out at a vacant haunted house across the street. Little does he know that while in that house, Harry is about to confront the demons of his past. It begins with Harry questioning a suspect, Rory, about the disappearance of a Senator's son. The suspect wont cooperate so Harry punches him in the face and cuts him several times with a knife. Finally Rory tells him that the boy is upstairs. Harry finds the boy and returns him to safety. He sees Rory being wheeled into an ambulance on a stretcher and he tells Harry that he'll never for get what he did and that he'd never let him. Harry watched as Rory bled to death on the stretcher from a knife wound on his throat, inflicted by Harry himself.

He talks to one of the people from the department and is told that because of the brutal way he treats suspects and the horrible things he does them, he is being sentenced to one hundred hours of community service and is being forced to turn in his badge. Fifteen years later Harry is in a private eye business with his partner James. A woman named Meredith King comes to Harry and asks him to help her get evidence that her husband is having an affiar. Harry agrees but the woman tells him he can't park his surveillance van infront of the house. She asks him to go into the vacant house across the street to do the spying. James and Harry go into the house and set up the equipment and James goes back to the van. Harry starts hearing voices and seeing lights in the womans house. James tells him he doesn't see or hear anything.

He finds a few kids in the vacant house and they tell him that they are there because the house kills people and it was a dare. Harry starts seeing things and hearing voices. He hears a woman talking about someone burning her with a cigar to get her to talk. Harry realizes that that was something he had done to get a suspect to talk and turns to run away and steps in a puddle of blood with bullets and teeth in it. He meets Meredith the following day to tell her that he can't help her anymore. He admits to her that he's done very bad things in the past and that while he is in that house his demons from the past are haunting him. She convinces him to go back and help her. He sees children in Meredith's house and looks upstairs and sees Rory holding a knife as he starts descending the stairs. Harry breaks into the house to discover that it's empty and sees for sale flyers on the table.

He goes back into the vacant house and hears voices of people describing the things he did to them to get them to talk. Rory appears and asks Harry why he is such a bad person. Harry breaks down and has a flashback of the thing that made him a monster. His flashback is of himself accidently shooting and killing his brother and making a pact with his father never to tell anyone what happened. Rory gives Harry a knife and tells him to kill himself and make things right. As Harry has the knife to his throat he realizes that....

OH NO!! WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT?? If you have a hard on to find out, well how about you go and give Spooked a look see huh??? Now, onto what I thought. It was ok. I was confused like once or twice, ehh it happens. There was no nudity, no cussing, and the only thing close to sex was the recorded tapes of two people boinking to prove to a woman that her husband was cheating. The plot was good and the acting was good too, although I would have liked to see more blood, but we can't always get what we want can we?? Overall I'd give Spooked a 2.5 out of 5. Like I said, I got confused a time or two, (It happens sometimes...or alot of times :D) and I wasn't as impressed with this episode as I was with the first. But they can't all be winners right??? So since you're here don't forget to check out Zanes stuff, if you're lucky he just may send you pics of it!! YAY!!

SASHA SLAUGHTER

                                                                                                                                                                  

DON'T GET YOUR CROTCH TRAMPLED BY THE DEER WOMAN! By: SASHA SLAUGHTER

I'MMA SNAKE!!! I'MMA SLITHERY LITTLE SNEAKY SNAKE!! Ohh hey there!! Umm...sorry bout that! I was having a moment..don't ask. This week at Dead End Horror we're doing a "Mixed bag O shit" (Sounds gross right? haha). It's basically just a bunch of awesome shit all crammed together with no specific theme...you'll love it!! I'll be reviewing Masters of Horror episode 7: Deer Woman. Deer Woman was directed by John Landis and runs about 57 minutes. Here we go!!!

Police detective Dwight Faraday discovers that several male murder victims who come into the morgue all have the same things in common...They all seem to have been trampled to death during a state of sexual arousal (BONER ALERT!!) and all of the bodies have hoof prints on them. He is called to the first incident when someone calls to report a possible dead body in a truck parked at a bar. Upon going into the cab of the truck he discovers that the body is almost unrecognizable. He questions one of the workers of the bar and he tells Faraday that the man that was killed was seen leaving with a beautiful Indian woman. He told him that she had yellow eyes that a deer in headlights would have.

While handling another case, Faraday realizes that there were trample marks starting from the groin (Owww) and went upward several times. He goes to the coroner to figure out how the man died. They talk for a few hours trying to figure out how a deer could possibly fit into the equation. Later that night at home Faraday tries running other scenarios about the death of trucker and he comes up with nothing (The deer in the flannel shirt and jeans scenario was funny as hell!). Faraday takes Detective Reed to the morgue the following day to see a new body that had the same trample marks as the first. There was deer hair on the body along with hoof prints. They realize that all of the witnesses described a beautfiul Indian woman being seen with the men shortly before they died.

While Faraday and Reed were in the morgue another body was wheeled in. They are told that the body just arrived and is in the same state as the previous two. They go to the investigate the crime scene where the third body was found and discover bloody hoof prints on the roof where the murder took place. Faraday believes that it's an animal killing people, possibly a deer. He talks to the coroner and she tells him that she found deer DNA on the third body. While at a casino Reed and Faraday are overheard by one of the employees talking about the case. Faraday suggests that it's an Indian woman that is luring men into seculded places and then turning into a deer and killing them. The employee tells them that that is part of an Indian folklore and that it probably isn't true.

Reed asks Faraday to go to the casino with him and he declines. While at the casino Reed meets a beautiful Indian woman and takes her back to his place. Faraday calls and he begins to talk about the folklore when Reed tells him he met a woman. Faraday pauses and asks if Reed has seen her feet. Reed gets quiet and tells Faraday that he's an idiot and to send back up. When Faraday reaches Reed's apartment he finds him dead, trampled to death. He sees the deer woman in the apartment and shoots her. She stays down for only a moment and then kicks Faraday and runs. He chases her down in his police cruiser and eventually catches up to her in the middle of the road. She is standing infront of a tree when he steps on the gas and...

Oooh what happens??? Go ahead and give Deer Woman a watch and find out. I personally wasn't very impressed. I was mildly amused by the scene of the deer in the flannel shirt and jeans but other than that, Ehh.. I was kind of bored actually. There were some body parts, a bit of blood, and two boob shots..ehh, nothing special. They didn't show the actual killings, which kind of sucked. Murder scenes are a must!! And you know what else??? The deer woman was a total prick tease! For real! She'd give her victims a raging hard on and the off the poor bastards!! Finish what you start deer woman! :D Overall I'd give Deer Woman a 2 out of 5. I gotta say, I was glad when it was over. That was 57 minutes of my life I'll never get back!! Boo!! And hey, while your eyes are being pleasured by my writing, you should check out Zombie Zanes stuff too! He'll show it to anyone and everyone. =)

Sasha Slaughter

HERE'S A LIL SOMETHING TO WATCH BEFORE YA GO...The Trailer!

VOODOO! RUNNIN' FROM MY MAGIC! BY: ZOMBIE 'FUCKIN' ZANE

BOOM-SHA-LOCK-LOCK-BOOM!! What’s good? It’s me, Zombie Zane coming at ya live and direct from the glass furnace otherwise known as the seven six one oh seven. Well, here we are, together again. This is the last post of the week and this is also the last post of our old school horror movie tribute. Was that a run on sentence? Ahh, fuck it. Who cares. In any case, I’m gonna close this bitch down with one more movie review. Why not. So have any of you seen or heard of a little movie called, ‘KING OF THE ZOMBIES?’ No? Well, shit the bed! How about I educate you on it? I mean what else have you got going on? Ok, enough foreplay, let’s get to the good stuff, yes?

‘King of the Zombies’ is a 19 and 41 comedy/horror film produced by Monogram Pictures. Now this film was supposed to star Bela Lugosi as Dr. Victor Sangre, but he was not available for the role. Peter Lorre was then contacted, but a deal could not be done so this other dude, Henry Victor got the part just prior to filming. Anyway, this film runs just about 67mins, and it was released in May of 1941. It also spawned a sequel, ‘Revenge of the Zombies.’ Which came out two years later in 1943. One other tidbit for ya, ‘King of the Zombies’ was also nominated for an Academy Award for best music in a dramatic picture. Fuckin’ cool! Who knew? Well, I did. Seeing how I am the one writing this. Anyway, how about we get to the plot?

THE PLOT:   An American government agent, his butler, and a pilot, crash somewhere in the Caribbeans. They were out looking for a missing admiral when their plane went boom. Anyway, they are taken in by a German doctor (who was supposed to be played by Lugosi) So the three guests find out that the island is crawling with zombies. As well as the doctor’s house. Now the good doctor is the boss of the zombies. He like controls them by using some kind of fuck-fuck trick on their minds. Now our three heroes figure out that the doctor is using the zombies to aid the war effort (This took place in WW II obviously) And no way are they gonna let that happen. So they try and thwart the doctors plans. Do they succeed? Do they become zombies? What happens!! You’ll just have to watch it. Hey! Don’t piss and moan. It’s only a little over an hour. You can do it!

Ok, now let me tell ya what I thought of this little gem of a film. Overall, I dug it. The butler dude was funny as fuck! I think he was played by Mantan Moreland. He had some fuckin’ classic lines! I’ll try to find some clips of him on Youtube and if I can I’ll post it at the end of this. But as I was saying, I dug this movie. I mean it had it’s flaws...I thought the zombies were a bit on the retarded side, and the ending (it’s always the christing ending) was kinda idk...flat. Maybe to abrupt or something? But in any case, I liked it, I didn’t really notice the music being that good for an Academy Award nominee, but whatever. All in all I give ‘King of the Zombies’ a middle of the road 2.5 out of 5. I docked it some points ‘cause of the odd ending and the retarded zombies. So lookit, grab a six pack, order you up a pizza and give this motherfucker a watch. Not a bad way to spend a hotter than shit summer night.

Ok, this concludes our old school horror tribute. Hope you learned some shit, hope you saw some of these films we reviewed. And most of all, I hope you had a good time reading. Before I go, I just wanna say thanks to y’all for coming over here and reading our shit. I really appreciate your time.

One more thing, be sure and check out Sasha’s stuff. She does all her blogging in the nude ya know. Sorry, Sasha, I had to put that in there. Ok, so until next time, take care, stay a-scared and I am out! ROCK OUT WITH YA COCK OUT!! YA KNOW YA SEE ME...

MAN, SHIT!! I couldn't find any of the butler shit, so what I'm doing is I'm gonna post the whole movie. All 67 minutes of it. So there ya go. I just gave you access to a free film. The beer and the pizza is up to you...ENJOY!

ONE BUSH, TWO TWIGS, AND FOUR BERRIES!! By:ZOMBIE ZANE

JUMP BACK FUNKY CATS!! AWWWW SHIT! Zombie Zane here once again coming to ya live and direct from the seven six one oh seven. Hope all is well in your corner(s) of da world. Hope everyone has a nice cool place to kick back and Cadillac in. It’s too hot to be fucking about outside, no? Anyway, this month is coming to an end and so is our old school horror tribute. But it’s been a freaky-fun-fucked up ride, hasn’t it? I mean I’ve really enjoyed watching some of this films. And I hope that you’ve had fun reading/watching them as well. If you haven’t then fuck off outta here and read someone else. Did that sound harsh? I’m sorry. Well...kinda I am. Anyway, let’s get to today’s post shall we? I got a great old school horror movie to tell you about today. Have you ever seen ‘THE LAST WOMAN ON EARTH?’ Ever wanted to have a threesome with the lovely and busty Sasha Slaughter and myself? Ok, disregard that last question. But it is relevant to the film I’m about to review. Well kinda. So how about we cut the foreplay and get into the review.

‘THE LAST WOMAN ON EARTH’ is a made in the USA sci-fi film directed by Roger Corman. Now if you’ve been reading my shit, you’ll know that Roger Corman also directed ‘Little Shop of Horrors.’ And if you haven’t been reading my shit, then now you know now. Moving right along. This film was released in September of 1960 and it runs just over 70mins. It can be found in those ‘bargain box’ horror sets as well as a few other places. I got my copy in the Anniversary Edition of 50 Horror Classics put out by Mill Creek. I highly recommend those ‘bargain box’ sets. It’s a great way to boost up your horror movie collection.

So now you know some of the particulars of this movie, here’s the plot: It’s about three friends(two dudes and a woman) who are vacationing in Puerto Rico. After some breakfast and some drinks, they decide they should do some scuba diving. No harm in that, right? But after they surface, they discover some freaky deaky shit...They are the only ones left alive on the whole island. And quite possibly the whole world. Now being faced with this possibility, the two men turn on one another in an attempt to be with the only woman left on the planet. Typical man bullshit I know. But if I were stuck with another dude and there was only one woman left on the Earth, I’d mad squabble too. I wouldn’t want to be the only one jerking off...Would you? The nights would be mighty lonely. Another option instead of fighting would of course be to just have threesomes...But then again, that could cause jealousy and all kinds of other shit. Then what about this...The woman decides she wants to be a lesbo and the two men are left doing a circle jerk kinda thing...Not good either. Basically this is one fucked up situation that I hope I’m never apart of. One panty hamster, two twigs and four berries...those number just don’t add up in anyone’s favor. Unless you’re the woman in which case you get your pick of the two dudes.

Ok, I know I rambled there, but I did manage to get the plot. At least I hope I did. So as far as what I thought of the film...Overall I liked it. The ending was just kinda so-so for me. It kinda ended abrupt and I felt that the message it was trying to convey wasn’t really clear. I mean I got the idea but it could’ve been better. Now don’t get me wrong, it is a fucked up plot. What a situation! So it gets some cool points for that but as I said, due to the kinds shitty ending it loses some as well. Final score for ‘THE LAST WOMAN ON EARTH’ is a 2 out of 5. Not horrible, but it could’ve been better.

Well, there it is. That’s all I got for your ass’ today. Make sure and check out Sasha’s stuff as well. She loves showing off her stuff. And she loves knowing that you are looking at it. Ain’t that right Sasha? So, until next time, take care, stay a-scared, and I am out.! Rock out with your cock out!!

HERE'S THE TRAILER JUST IN CASE YOU WANNA YOU WANNA LOOK-SEE

PLANT YO' ASS DOWN AND READ THIS SHIT!! by: ZOMBIE ZANE

BOOM-SHA-LOCK-LOCK-BOOM! Damn hell it’s still hot here in the seven six one oh seven. It’s so fuckin’ hot that I saw a dog chasing a cat yesterday and they was walkin!! In any case, it’s me, your good buddy Zombie Zane here once again to share with you some more horror movie reviews. This is the last week of our old school horror tribute so I thought I’d close it out with three, count them three old school horror film reviews. Sound good? I thought so. And if in any way you’re tired of these old school horror films, piss off outta here and come back next week when we go back to more of a current type of deal. So until then, kick back and let me tell you about one of the movies I watched this week. Ever heard of ‘LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS?’ No? Well allow me to educate...

‘LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS’ is a 1960 comedy/horror film directed by Roger Corman. Now this film was actually produced under the title ‘The Passionate People Eater.’ Why they changed the name to ‘Shop of Horrors’ I don’t know. But, I do know that they shot the movie in just days and it only cost a mere $30,000 to make. (Two days! Fucking A!)

This film also has a cult following and was previously released as the B movie on a double feature with ‘Black Sunday.’ And it was eventually released with the film (on another double feature) ‘THE LAST WOMAN ON EARTH.’ Which I will be reviewing later on in the week. This film was also remade in 1986 as more of a musical. It’s good though. In fact, I saw the remake when I was a kid and loved the hell out of it. It was fucking great. You should look in to it.

Now that I gave you a bit of background, let’s delve into the plot, yes? "LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS" breaks down like this: A dorky guy by the name of Seymour works in a shit-hole florist shop and is in love with his co-worker. Now this Seymour is an amateur botanist who discovers a rare plant and hopes to use this plant to make a name for himself and win over Audrey. (His co-worker) Now this ain’t your ordinary rare plant. No sir! This motherfucking plant can talk! Talk I say! And the best part...It can only survive on a steady diet of human flesh and blood. So poor Seymour is forced to start killing people in order to keep the plant alive. (Cue the dramatic music now) One more side note here. Jack Nicholson is actually in this film for a cameo. So you can add some cool points for that.

So ya got the plot, ya got the background, now let me tell you what I thought of this film. Cause my opinion is the ONE that matters, right? I liked it. I liked the unique characters, I liked the comedy element, the dialogue was funny as fuck, and the acting wasn’t half bad believe it or not. All in all it was a great way to spend 73mins. I give this bad boy a solid 3 out of 5. Pretty high for an old B movie. My favorite character had to be the owner of the flower shop. He was fucking hi-larious!! Dude made me laugh out loud a few times. SO there ya go. ‘LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS’ gets a 3 out of 5.

Well, that’s all I got for your ass today. Be sure and check out Sasha’s stuff as well. She’s always glad to show it to ya. Until next time, take care, stay a-scared and I am out!

PS!!! THE CRAZY JACK NICHOLSON AT THE DENTIST...LOOK HOW YOUNG!

SUCK IT!! By: ZOMBIE ZANE

...ALL THE RIGHT FRIENDS IN ALL THE RIGHT PLACES...Oh, I’m sorry. Just rockin out to some OneRepublic. Don’t hate. You know you rock to it too. Now if I open with some show tunes or some Celine Dion, then you can hate. Hell, I would totally deserve some shit for that. But in any case, It’s your pal Zombie Zane once again spinning it live and fuckin’ direct from the seven six one oh seven. What’s poppin’ slimes? Well, this is gonna be the final post for the week so kick on back and chill out with me for a few. Got anything better to do? Not anymore ya don’t. Ain’t that right kid sister.

So to cap off the week I decided to watch one more old school monster movie. I mean that is what this week’s about. In case you’re late to the party, Sasha and I have dedicated the month of July to old school horror. Why? Because we can. And old school horror movies are cool. What’s better than chilling late night with a few beers, some bad-ass junk food and an old B&W horror movie on the TV. Well...maybe fuckin’ is better, but this isn’t a fuck blog. Hell to the naw! It’s a horror blog. So let’s knock off the foreplay and fuck talk and get to today’s movie.

Ever see ‘ATTACK OF THE GIANT LEECHES?’ It totally fucking sucked! Just kidding. But leeches...suck...get it? I hope so. Anyway, this film is one of many monster movies made in the 1950's. This film comes from AIP (American International Pictures) and was released in 1959. It was directed by Bernard L. Kowalski and it runs for just about 62mins. It’s also known by a couple of other names as well: ‘Attack of the Blood Leeches,’ ‘Demons of the Swamp,’ and ‘War of the Giant Leeches.’ Most of these 50's monster movies were actually made in response to cold war fears. (See, I know some shit.) Ya see, in most of these type of films, it’s like radiation, or something that causes whatever animal, or thing to mutate and become larger than normal. Hence, that was the era of the cold war. Fuckin nuclear weapons right?
Now that I gave you some nuggets of knowledge, let’s get to the plot of this thing shall we?

And it goes a little something like this: While fucking about in the swamp, Game Warden Steve Benton and his girlfriend come across a an old dude who is on death’s doorstep. This poor bastard has strange looking wounds and is suffering from major blood loss. Then when more hunters and poachers come up missing, (how do ya come up missing? I mean aren’t ya just missing?) Anyway, when more people are found missing, (again, how can you be found missing? Aren’t you just missing? I mean if you’re found than you’re not missing! What the fuck?) Let me try again...After several more disappearances (There, that was better) The game warden decides to investigate the swamp...Wanna hear the rest? Tough shit. I’m sure you can guess that he finds the giant leeches and tries to kill them while saving the town. Predictable yes. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t watch it. Let me give you my score and then you can decide for yourself.

I give ‘ATTACK OF THE GIANT LEECHES’ an average 2.5 out of 5. Which really isn’t that bad for one of these kind of movies. Believe me, I’ve seen some real shit piles that come from this same era. Again, it’s just one of those movies that you wanna watch late night with a bag of chips or something. Just a good old fashioned B movie. So look into it.

Well, that’s all I got for this week. Sasha and I will be back next week doin’ it - and doin’ it- and doin’ it well. Not sure how we’ll close out our old school horror month, but we’ll think of something. And be sure and check out Sasha’s stuff. She’s got some good-goods and she wants to share. So until next time, take care, stay a-scared, and I am out!

PS!! WANNA SEE THE TRAILER? HERE IT IS...

DEATH BY CHOCOLATE by: SASHA SLAUGHTER

Chyeahhh, it's that time once again to bring you some awesomeness from Dead End Horror. Our theme is still infact, classic horror, but I'll be doing a little review of MOH episode 5: Chocolate. Chocolate came out in 2005 and was directed by Mick Garris, it was based on his short story.
The story starts with Jamie and he appears to be being questioned about the things that led up to him having blood all over his face and shirt. He is asked to again repeat the story of what exactly happened to him and it all started when....

Jamie, a lonely recent divorcee, is working with his best friend Wally at a food laboratory developing various artificial flavors. He gets invited to see his bosses band at a bar because his boss thinks Jamie needs to get out and socialize. On the way home that night out of nowhere Jamie loses his sight and shortly after it returns. He returns home and starts having strange visions. The next day at the supermarket he meets Elaine. They istantly hit it off and they both reveal that they are on strict diets. She goes back to Jamie's house and they decide to indulge in a junk food fest.

She ends up spending the night && they boink (Duh!). Soon after they're finished he starts getting sharp pains in his stomach, he takes pills and goes to sleep. The following morning Jamie sees visions of a man and woman having sex and he begins to feel the sensations the woman is feeling. Elaine is freaking out and just then his ex wife and son walk in to see him writhing and moaning on the bed. Everyone leaves and while he is shaving he sees a vision of a woman writing I Love You on a piece of paper. He tells the people that are questioning him that as soon as he saw the woman write that he knew exactly what love was. Soon after he starts eating chocolate, trying to make more visions come to him.

While he is at the table he has a vision of a naked woman getting into a bathtub and masturbating with the shower head, only he feels everything she feels and he experiences her orgasm. He tries to tell Wally about his visions but Wally is skeptical. He tells Jamie to see a doctor but Jamie says he doesn't want the visions to stop. He then sees a vision of a man kissing another woman. The guy is talking to woman that Jamie is connected to and tells her that he brought the girl for them to share. The woman carresses the girls face before slapping her. The guy gets up and chokes her, and thats where Jamie's vision ended. While asleep later that night, Jamie sees an image of the same man and woman having sex when suddenly she pulls out a knife and stabs the man (She almost guts the poor bastard!). After that, the visions abruptly ended.

While at work he got a vision of a womans liscense plate and looked it up online. He finds that the plate belongs to someone from Vancouver, Canada and leaves to find the woman it belongs to. He reaches the apartment where the man was killed and sees the womans paintings and finds out that her name is Catherine, but she is nowhere to be found. He eventually finds her in another complex and offers her chocolates, but she freaks out and slams the door. Eventually Jamie tracks her down and she agrees to talk to him and hear his reasons for finding her. He confides in her that he sees visions of her and that he can feel what she feels and can see what she sees. She doesn't believe him and tells him to leave her alone, but Jamie is persistent.

He tells Catherine that he only wants to help her and admits that he is in love with her and he would do anything to keep her safe. She invites Jamie back to her apartment where she confesses that she too has been having visions and seeing faces and feeling different things. She offers him a drink and they start to make out when all of the sudden she pulls a gun on him and.....

Awww!! Come on now! Did you think I'd spoil it for you? Although I have in pretty much every other review I've done...hmmm. Well I fooled ye! If you really wanna know what happened, how about you give Chocolate a watch?? Now, onto what I thought. It was ok for being only 60 mins. There wasn't a whole lot of blood except for when the one dude almost got gutted, that was kinda gross. There were a few sex scenes with a bit of boob and butt (2 of the 3 B's my friends!) and umm....a murder scene or two...don't wanna give too much away now do we? I think overall I'd give it a 2 out 5. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't really that great either. I often found my mind wandering to other things, so the movie didn't hold my interest very well..or maybe it was me...who knows??? So there you have it, my thoughts on Chocolate. Why don't you go on ahead and give it peak huh? And while you're at it don't forget to check on Zombie Zanes review of Monster Shrews. And of course faithful readers, please do check back next week for new stuff, here at Dead End Horror.

SHREW YOU BUDDY!

AIN’T NUTTIN’ BUT A GANGSTA PARTY...Ok, not really. Let me start again. COMING TO YA LIVE AND DIRECT FROM THE SEVEN SIX ONE OH SEVEN. There. That was better wasn’t it? Anywho, Zombie Fuckin Zane here once again to entertain you. Or annoy you. Or both. So this week Sasha and I are still on our old school horror kick and we got some good shit for ya. Last week we did a Bela Lugosi type of thing and this week, we’re gonna be doing an old school monster movie type of thing. Ya know, ‘The Wolfman,’ ‘Creature of the Black Lagoon’ ‘The Killer Shrews’ shit like that. Sounds neat huh? I thought you’d like it. And if not...SUCK IT! (Ok, I promise I’ll stop saying that soon enough. But it’s funny to me still.)

So what I got for your ass’ today is my take on the film ‘THE KILLER SHREWS.’ Have you seen it? Better yet, have you even heard of this motherfucker? I came across this film in one of my many horror movie sets. Ya know, those 50 movie sets put out by Mill Creek? Anyway, this film was in one of my sets so I figured fuck it. Let’s have some cold beer and see what’s up with ‘THE KILLER SHREWS.’ Wanna hear about it? Cool. So let us cut the foreplay and get to the good stuff.

‘THE KILLER SHREWS’ is a 1959 sci-fi film directed by Ray Kellogg. It’s classified as sci-fi, but to me, it’s more of a horror/monster movies. I mean, HELLO! Giant shrews are total monsters. Right? This film is actually considered a cult classic which earns it a few extra cool points. It was released on June 25, 1959 and runs just about an hour and ten minutes. It stars James Best as Capt. Thorne Sherman, Ingrid Goude as Ann Cragis and Ken Curtis as Jerry Farrel. (Who, btw, was an annoying prick in the film and I was glad he died. SPOILER ALERT!)

Now ya got the particulars, lemme give you the plot.

Here’s what we got plot wise: This scientist guy is staying on an island working on a project to aid with the worlds population issue. Ya know, too many people and not enough resources type of thing. So he fucks about in his lab and accidently creates a hoard of giant shrews. Not sure what that has to do with world population control, but whatever. Actually I do know. I remember now. The scientist guy had a theory that if we were smaller, we’d consume less and therefore be able to not use up all of our natural resources. Or some shit like that. Anyway, the giant shrews have no more food left on the island, so they decide to eat the scientist and his guests. Obviously not wanting to be shrew chew, (lol, that was funny. Shrew chew. Hey? You didn’t think that was funny? Whatever. You know it was. You can laugh. It’s ok.) Not wanting to be SHREW CHEW, the scientist and his daughter and Capt. Sherman try to escape the island. Will they make it? You’ll have to watch and find out.

As far as what I thought about this film, I gotta tell ya I kinda dug it. Man I did. It was easy to watch, not to complicated, and the giant shrews were pretty amusing. I had a good time checking it out. Maybe the Bud Light had something to do with it. I don’t know. But I was expecting some kinda retarded-ass B movie. And on some levels it was, but all in all it was an enjoyable movie to watch. Now this is the part where I run down some of the stats but these older movies just don’t have the body counts, the nekkidness, the fuck scenes, the gore...they weren’t made that way back in the day. But what I can give you, is my score. And that’s the one that matters anyway, right?

Without further ramblings, here’s the what I give ‘THE KILLER SHREWS.’ On a scale of 1-5
(1 being a shit pile and 5 being awesome) I have to give this cult classic a solid 3. At first I was gonna go 2.5 but in retrospect, I bumped it up a little. So you should look into watching it. It’s definitely worth a view.
That’s all I got for ya today. Be sure and check out Sasha’s stuff as well. She’d be glad to show it to you. Until next time, take care, stay a-scared and I am out.

NOW YA SEE ME, NOW YA DON'T By: ZOMBIE ZANE

WHOA DADDY!! Zombie Zane here live and direct from the pit of hell otherwise known as the seven six one oh seven. Another day of record breaking heat. SUCK IT! In any case, we’re gonna close out the week here at DEAD END HORROR with another movie review. As you may or may not know, this week Sasha and I’ve been talking Bela Lugosi. So I figured I’d end the week with the 1942 horror classic ‘THE CORPSE VANISHES.’ Have you seen it? No? Not to worry, I’ll tell ya all about it. Kick on back for a sec, grab a cold beverage and allow me to educate.

As I said, "THE CORPSE VANISHES" is a 1942 American horror/whodunit type of deal. It stars the ever so eerie Mr. Bela Lugosi, Elizabeth Russell, and Luana Walters. It was directed by Wallace Fox and became available in 2009 on DVD. Now that you got the particulars, let’s get to the plot, yes?
Basically the movie breaks down as follows: Bela Lugosi plays a horticulturalist by the name of Dr. Lorenz. Now the good doctor’s wife is aging and needs fluids taken from young virgins (no, not those fluids! Get you mind out of the gutter!) To retain her eternal youth and beauty. Dr. Lorenz finds these poor unsuspecting virgins and drugs them, kidnaps them, and takes them back to the mansion so he can extract what he needs for his wife. And there ya go. Not much to it. I mean after all this is only about 64mins so what really can happen in that small amount of time?

But here is a little nugget of knowledge that I found pretty fuckin cool. This movie is loosely based on the true story of Elizabeth Bathory, a sixteenth century Hungarian countess and serial killer who was said to preserve her beauty by bathing in the blood of young virginal women. Neato mosquito! Not only did you get a movie review, but a lil bit of history to boot. I rule!

Ok, again with these older movies I don’t really have any stats for you. No gore, no bush-boobs or butt, no severings, but again, consider the time this movie came out. But I can give you my score...I give this classic horror film a 3 out of 5. It wasn’t that bad contrary to what Mystery Science Theater 3000 said.

Well that’s all I got for now. Not a bad way to close out the week. Oh, and be sure to peep out Sasha’s stuff as well. She’s back to doing her reviews on Masters of Horror. I think this week she’s talking about Jenifer. MOH doesn’t have shit to do with old school classic horror, but who cares. It’s our blog and our rules. SUCK IT. (Again, I can’t quit saying that. It’s funny.) So next week we’re gonna be continuing on with our old school theme, not sure what yet but you can bet yo ass it’ll be good. I mean we do rock after all. So until next time, take care, stay a-scared, and I am out.

Everything looks good on her butter face!! By Sasha Slaughter

Oh snap!! It's Sasha Slaughter again for the final time this week to bring you a little Masters of Horror episode 4 review. Ok, so it doesn't have anything to do with classic horror, but if you tools paid any attention, you'd notice that the MOH series has been a recurring theme the past few weeks...duh! Ok, so shut up && enjoy!

MOH episode 4 is titled Jenifer (I spelled it right...1 N my friends) is directed by Dario Argento and came out in 2006. Detective Frank Spivey comes across a man trying to murder a young girl. Frank saves her but quickly realizes that the girl is horribly disfigured. He looks past her disfiguration when she starts to seduce him, even though some fucked up shit starts happening. But when things start to go to far for Detective Spivey, and theres only one thing left to do...

The story begins with Detective Spivey and his partner sitting in their squad car eating Chinese when Spivey decides to get out and take a look around. He hears someone scream and turns to find a man dragging a young girl away. He sees the man take out a knife and hold it in the air, getting ready to stab the girl. Spivey tells the man to put the knife down but the man tells him it's too late. Before the man can stab her, Spivey shoots him and with his last dying breath the man says "Jenifer".

He unties her and notices that she is horribly disfigured ( && I mean that...chick has a MAJOR butter face). And while untying her he gets a cut on his hand from her fingernail ( And he is obsessed with the cut throughout the entire show thinger..it's gross.) Anyway back at home his wifey decides to try and seduce him, and he ends up turning her on her stomach and just takin it!! And while he was doing that he was having flashbacks of shooting the guy and Jenifer bent over a barrel. (Guess which flashback turned him on ehh?). He talks to the psychologist and asks about Jenifer and how she is doing. He finds out that Jenifer is an orphan and is possibly mentally challenged. The psychologist tells him that Jenifer that is in a mental institution and he decides to go visit her.

He is taken into the shower room where Jenifer is (Total boob shot) and she sees him and runs to him. He decides that she can't stay there so he takes her back to his house. His family sees her the following morning and of course, they freak out. His wife tells him that he has to take her somewhere else and just before she leaves the room, Jenifer grabs his wife and tries to kiss her (or maybe bite her...idk!!) He takes her away from the house and drives around, trying to figure out where he can take her. While trying to figure something out he stops the car and is trying to decide what to do when Jenifer starts getting a little frisky. He tries to start the car but she grabs his hand and then pulls her dress down and puts his hand on her boobs. She then starts kissing and undoes his pants and rides him like a pony (ooh sorry, was that crude?? ehh.)

After that little tryst Frank brings her back home to his house and claims that no one would take her and he wants her to stay there until he can find a place. They hear a crashing sound and go into the bathroom to find Jenifer eating their cat and playing with its intestines...EWWW! Franks wife freaks out and ( Of course, wouldn't you spaz if you found some butter face chick munching on your cat too?) calls a cab and leaves. Later that night while Frank is sleeping, Jenifer comes into his room and does Frank, yet again.

The following day while Frank is gone, Jenifer sees the little girl from the neighbor hood outside playing in a pool and when Frank comes home he finds Jenifer in the basement eating the little girl. He grabs Jenifer and chokes her a little before letting go and collapsing on the floor crying. The next day he is at the side show where he propositions the owner and asks him if he'll take Jenifer. He gives the owner a set of keys to his house so he can go in and take Jenifer while Frank leaves town for a few days. Frank goes home to see if she had been taken away yet. He doesn't see any sign of her and believes she is gone, that is until he opens the refrigerator door and finds the owner of the freak shows body in it, all chopped into pieces. He buries the body in his backyard and gets Jenifer and they get into his car and leave.

He takes them into the woods to a secluded cabin so no one can find them. Frank gets wasted and tells Jenifer that there is a little town a few miles away from the cabin and that hes going to try to find a job and asks her to stay in the cabin while hes gone. The following day Frank goes into town and sees a help wanted sign in the window of a store. Rose, the owner of the stores gives him the job and asks if he can start that day. While Frank is helping Rose with inventory, Jenifer is hiding behind a building watching them. Later that night while Roses son is at a party, he stumbles across Jenifer in the woods. She runs away from him and he follows her. Frank arrives home but can't find Jenifer. He goes to the basement of the cabin and finds Jenifer eating Jack, Roses son.

Frank ties Jenifer's hands together and grabs and ax and leads Jenifer into the woods. He ties Jenifer to a tree and just as he's ready to chop her head off, a hunter in the woods tells him to stop. Before Frank has a chance to explain the hunter shoots him in the chest. He unties Jenifer and tells her it's going to be ok. And with his last dying breath, Frank mutters "Jenifer".

WOW!! I actually liked this episode of MOH. The few that I've seen have kinda been snooze fests, but this one was good. I think overall I'd give it a solid 3 out of 5. It's got everything you need in a horror movie all crammed into about 58 minutes. You've got blood and guts, murder, sex, and 2 out of the 3 B's (That is boobs, butt, and box of course!). I think so far this is definitley my favorite MOH episode. And since you're here, don't forget to check out Zanes review of The Corpse Vanishes, starring Bela Lugosi. And yeah, you know what I'm about to say, check back next week for all new stuff, here at Dead End Horror.

OLD SCHOOL ZOMBIE SHIT By: SASHA SLAUGHTER

Well hello there! =) Sasha Slaughter here with you && since this is old school horror month, I'll be reviewing White Zombie, starring none other than Bela Lugosi of course. White Zombie came out in 1932 and was made in just 11 days with a budget of $50,000 and was filmed on what was left of the sets of Universal's Dracula and Frankenstein. So you go on ahead and relax && enjoy my take on this 1932 classic mmm'kay???


The movie takes place in Haiti with Neil and Madeline on their way to Mr. Beaumont's house, a man whom Madeline met on her way to Haiti. She told him that she and Neil were planning to get married and he offered to have the wedding at his home, and said he'd make Neil an agent at his company. They are in the carriage when they come upon a large group of people in the middle of the road, chanting and burying something. They ask the driver what’s going and he tells them that they are having a funeral in the middle of the road because people travel the road often and it will keep people from stealing the bodies. On the way to Mr. Beaumont’s, they stop briefly and a man reaches into the carriage and steals Madeline's scarf before the driver says that he sees zombies and they take off. The driver warns them of the undead corpses that roam at night and that are made to work at the sugar mill, but they don't believe him and dismiss his claims.


Upon at arriving at Beaumont’s home, they meet Dr. Bruner, the preacher who is set to marry them. He feels there is something going on at Mr. Beaumont’s and advises the young couple to leave quickly after they are married. Beaumont goes out to greet Neil and Madeline and after talking briefly, Madeline and Neil are shown to their rooms. Neil looks outside and sees Beaumont get into a carriage with someone and then leave. Beaumont arrives at the sugar mill where he sees zombies working and doing chores. He is taken into a back room to talk to Murder (no really, that’s his name in the movie!). Beaumont tells him that he is in love with Madeline and wants her for himself.


He goes to him for help because Murder happens to be a voodoo master who turns people into zombies with the power of his mind (BAD-ASS!). Beaumont said he is willing to pay anything to make Madeline his. Murder gives him a small vial of white powder and tells Beaumont to put it in wine or maybe on a flower. Beaumont acts shocked and says there must be some other way and leaves to get to the wedding. As he is walking Madeline down the stairs, he tells her that he loves her and wants her to be with him. She asks not to ruin anything and before she gets ready to marry Neil, Beaumont apologizes and offers her a flower, with the powder on it, she smells it and then puts it in her bouquet. After the ceremony they are having dinner when Neil gets up to do a toast. Madeline was joking around and saying she sees love and happiness in her wine glass, and then she sees eyes in the wine and claims she sees death. While this is happening, Murder is outside carving a candle into a statue of Madeline and then starts to melt it. As the statue is melting, Madeline collapses and dies.


They hold a funeral for her and Neil leaves. He starts to see her everywhere he looks and decides to go look for her. Beaumont and Murder go into the graveyard where Madeline is buried and Beaumont is introduced to Murder's zombie slaves. The zombies open the door of the place where Madeline's coffin is and they open it up. Just then they hear Neil screaming Madeleine’s name and they take the coffin and hurry away before Neil finds them. Neil stumbles into where Madeleine’s coffin was and discovers that its missing. He goes to the only other person he knows, Dr. Bruner. He thinks that maybe Madeleine’s body was stolen or maybe she wasn't really dead. He suggests that perhaps Madeleine’s body was stolen, or that she was drugged and buried alive on purpose.


Bruner also suggests that it was Beaumont who did it but Neil isn't so sure. Beaumont and Madeline are back at Murder's home when he admits to her that he regrets doing what he did because now she is soulless and has empty eyes that no longer shine. Beaumont tells Murder that he wants Madeline brought back to life again but Murder tells him that she'd hate him for what he did to her. Beaumont insists that he'd rather her hate him than have to see her the way she is. Murder offers Beaumont wine and then he realizes that he'd been poisoned with the same stuff that he used to poison Madeline. As the poison sets in, Murder reveals that he has plans for both Madeline and Beaumont, and that they could be of good use to him.


Bruner and Neil decide to go look for Madeline. They get a Witch doctor that Bruner knows to help them find the way to Madeline. The Witch doctor tells him that its not a good idea and wont go any further with them. They finally reach what Bruner calls The house of the dead, but Neil is too weak to go on, so Bruner goes alone. Meanwhile, Madeline is starting to act different, like she is starting to remember things or can sense that Neil is nearby. Neil wakes up and starts yelling for Madeline and then follows Bruner into the house. Neil goes into a room and finds Murder and Beaumont sitting at a table, with Beaumont unable to speak. Neil passes out and Murder finds him and makes Madeline come to where downstairs and grab a knife. He then makes her walk over to where Neil is passed out, and she raises her arm in the air, getting ready to stab him when someone behind her grabs her arm and she drops the knife and runs outside.


Neil comes to and finds Madeline sitting outside, just then, Murder appears and calls his zombie servants to kill Neil. He tries shooting them and just as he's about to fall over a cliff, Bruner comes and knocks Murder out. The zombies all fall over the cliff and for a brief second, Madeline smiles at Neil and then her face goes blank again. Murder wakes up and tries to escape, and just as he reaches the top of the steps, Beaumont comes up behind him and pushes him into the water below, and then he jumps also. Madeline looks at Neil and recognizes who he is and of course they all live happily ever after! (Ok, so I added the happily ever after...so what?)


Well for starters, I think this is actually the oldest movie I've ever watched. I really didn't know what to expect. It was good. What I liked about it was that the movie didn't overwhelm you with a lot of dialogue, instead it actually shows what’s happening rather than telling you, which is different. There was no blood, but I really wasn't expecting much, or any for that matter. The zombies in this movie didn't eat people, instead they were mind controlled. I love me some zombies, and I prefer that they tear people apart and fuck stuff up....but it was the 30's soo I guess the whole mind control thing makes sense because it was a lot more tame. Overall I'd give this movie a 2.75. It was a decent film for being 79 years old. It kept my attention and Murder was uber creepy looking..gave me the willies! So there you have it, my thoughts on White Zombie.
And while you're here, don't forget to check out Zombie Zane’s reviews of Invisible Ghost and the Corpse Vanishes, you'll be glad you did =) Thanks!

CAN YOU SEE ME? By: ZOMBIE ZANE

YEP-YEP-YEP-YEP-YEP, Let’s do it once again. Zombie Zane here as usual coming to ya live and direct from the seven six one oh seven. Goddamn could it be any hotter in this place? Summer has a grip on us and let me tell ya Jack, it doesn’t look good. But hey, I ain’t here to talk about the weather. Nope. I’m here to talk old school horror with you. This month at DEAD END HORROR, we’re kicking it old school. This week in particular, we’re talking Bela Lugosi. For those tools out there who don’t know who he is, read Sasha’s article and educate your dumb ass. Did that sound harsh? Sorry. In any case, I’m here to tell you about the film, ‘INVISIBLE GHOST.’ Ever seen it? No? Well hell, kick on back a sec and let me share with you my take on this 1941 classic.

‘INVISIBLE GHOST’ is a 1941 horror film starring Bela Lugosi, Polly Ann Young, John McGuire, and directed by Joseph H. Lewis. It was distributed by Monogram pictures and was released in April of 1941 making it one old motherfucker. But that’s not to say it isn’t good. Told ya, these old school films were the building blocks of today’s horror films. Plus there wasn’t CGI back then and it was the actors that carried the film. Not a bunch of stupid ass wrestling robots and computer generated crap. It was all about the acting. Yeah, it was over the top, but shit, it was the early days of film, what can you expect. Anyway, I’m getting off point. Let’s get to the plot.

This film stars Bela Lugosi as Charles Kessler a man living with his daughter while longing and hoping for his wife’s return. She’s been gone for some years and it’s breaking his heart. One night, during a bad storm, he sees her looking through one of the windows. Now upon seeing her, he flips the fuck out, goes into some kinda trance and murders the maid!! He totally chokes her ass out! Now, the poor maids boyfriend is framed for the killing and he ends up dying while in police custody. Ya follow me so far? Ok. Now the maid’s boyfriend has a twin brother (fucking really?) So he shows up at the mansion to help figure out the strange death of his brother. So now ya got the twin brother and Kessler’s daughter working in tandem to figure out who the real killer is and clear the name of the maid’s boyfriend.

Overall I liked this movie. Bela Lugosi was his usual creepy-creep-creep self. And when he would trance out, his eyes were wicked scary! They did a great job with all that. Plus some of the choking scenes were pretty violent for that day and age. I mean now not so much, but back then...
Usually I give you some stats and some numbers at this point, but these old movies aren’t like the ones today. No nekkidness (yes, I can spell naked) No fuck scenes, not much blood ya know they just kinda imply all that shit. So really no numbers here. We’ll be back doing newer shit in a couple weeks.

So, I guess that about covers ‘INVISIBLE GHOST.’ Oh wait!! My score! I give this Bela Lugosi picture a cool 3 out of 5. His acting alone carries this film. And be sure to read Sasha’s review of ‘WHITE ZOMBIE.’ Another kick ass Lugosi offering. I guess that’s all I got for ya today. So until next time, take care, stay a-scared and I am out. SUCK IT! (I’m on a kick where I say that all the time. Why? I don’t know. It’s funny and I can’t help it.)