Oh hey, what's poppin slimes??? Is that getting old yet?? Ehh! Anyway, Sasha Slaughter here with you here and I certainly hope you are ready to have your minds blown by how talented we (Zane and I) are. But I'm sure you've already noticed. =) I'll be reviewing "The Inheritance" for you today. It was directed by Robert O'Hara and was released in 2011 and you can find it on Netflix. Ever hear of it? Me either!! So how about we get down to business then huh??
Five cousins (Karen, Lily, Simpson, Tyrone, and Henry) get invited to a family reunion by their Uncle Melvin at a remote cabin in rural Vermont. They arrive to discover that they are the only ones from the family that were invited, but they think nothing of it. Simpson arrives with his boss Marty and his wife (Two white people...the only white people in the movie) and his cousin tells him that he knows that their family doesn't like white people. Simpson ignores him and invites them into the cabin. There is a letter from their Uncle Melvin welcoming them to the cabin and telling them he left them something on the bar. Henry opens the box and finds bottles of booze and alot of weed (Damn, why can't I have an uncle like that??). They are sitting around getting drunk and high when four out of the five cousins admit that they are here expecting to be given money.
Karen freaks out because she's the only one there who is there for family and not money. Lily calms her down and they go into the living room to get high. After a few minutes Lily starts freaking out when she sees "The flesh is the strength" written in blood on the window. Everyone is startled and eventually calm down and go to bed. Marty and his wife go upstairs early and are going at it when he leaves to get water. His wife is laying on her stomach and feels fingers on her skin and she thinks it's Marty. There are two hay people (I don't know what else to call them!) in the room touching her and then they kill her. Karen wakes up the next morning to find her Aunt B siting in the room watching her. She tells her and Lily to wake up because they are about to start. Henry, Simpson, and Tyrone are asleep in the next room when their Uncle Grady starts beating on a drum to wake them up. He tells them to come downstairs because they are about to begin.
The cousins go downstairs to find the Elders waiting for them in the living room. They are lead to five chairs set up in the middle of the room. They sit down and their Uncle Melvin tells them about their family history. They start doing some weird chanting ritual and telling them that the older generation came here to spend time with the younger generation. Their uncle then tells them that their family came from a long line of slaves but was saved from someone they called Chakabazz. He tells them that he promised to save them from the white men if they gave him a sacrifice. So five slaves sacrificed their children to Chakabazz to be saved from the white men.
After the story was over, Simpson made a sarcastic remark and the Elders left. Their Uncle Melvin told them that the Elders felt disrespected therefore they left. Karen asked her uncle to please talk to the Elders to see if they would accept their apology. Shortly after, the Elders are nowhere to be found and the time changes and no one can figure out how it got so late. Lily starts freaking out and says she is leaving. She packs her stuff and leaves. While she is driving she sees the ghost of a slave on the road and crashes her car into a snow bank. She is looking for a flashlight when she sees people outside of her car. They open the door and drag Lily out and she disappears. Everyone at the house is trying to figure out what to do when Karen decides to take a bath and relax. While in the bath she sees her Uncle Melvin in the tub and he tells her that she is the chosen one. Just then Chakabazz appears and gets into the tub with Karen and he has sex with her and disappears.
She wakes up and sees "The blood is the life" written in blood on the wall and freaks out. She tells Henry that someone was in her room but they can't find anyone. She finally calms down and then Lily's mom Felicia shows up. They let her in and she tells them that the Elders are going to sacrifice them and that Melvin is behind everything. She tells them they'll start by draining the blood of the virgin (Lily), Impregnating the host (Karen), one warriors bones will be built into a totem pole (Tyrone), one warriors flesh will be eaten (Simpson), and then they will make the host (Karen) kill the master warrior (Henry). Melvin denies everything and using some mind trick kills Felicia. The other four run out of the house to escape and they see Marty's wife's torso in the snow with the words "You're it" written in blood in the snow.
One of the hay people attack them and almost takes Tyrone but the distract it and get Tyrone into the car with them. They decide to leave the car to find weapons and Henry sees Lily outside of the shed he's in. She tells him that he lives and then disappears. Henry tells the others that he saw Lily and that they have to save her. They leave Tyrone in the woods while they go investigate Lily's car. They hear Tyrone screaming and run into the woods as he's being dragged off by the hay people to be killed. They get into Lily's car to get warm but hear noises in the backseat. They look in the back and find Simpson's boss tied and up gagged. They run out of the car and stumble upon the Elders in the woods holding some sort of ritual calling upon Chakabazz. They tell Karen, Simpson, and Henry that they are going to be sacrificed to ensure the prosperity of future generations. Their aunt tells them that everything they have is because of them and now they must die to give it to the next generation.
They manage to escape into the woods and stop to decide what to do. Two hay people come after Karen but Simpson kills them and they run back into the house. The Elders are in the house waiting for them to surrender. They are trying to get to Simpson's room when they see more of the Elders in the hall. Karen tells Simpson and Henry to go to the room and she'll distract the Elders because it's her they want. She goes to her Uncle Melvin with a hatchet behind her back to thank him for choosing her as the host. She tries to stab him with the hatchet but he moves. Henry grabs Karen and they get into Simpson's room. They lock the door and tell Simpson to type a message to the rest of the family and send it. Henry sees Lily in the window being attacked by the hay people. He decides to go save her but he gets killed by the hay people. Karen keeps telling Simpson to keep typing and not to stop but make sure he sends the message when he's done. Karen is against the door when hands break the door and grab her. A symbol shows up on her stomach and she grabs a hatchet and walks towards Simpson....
Ughh! Talk about a sucky movie. Boooo!! Waste of 84 minutes, I'm tellin you what. And the title is totally off. Doesn't someone have to die in order for you to get an inheritance or something?? These were just a couple of shitty people looking for a handout from their rich family members. And the girl on the cover of the movie...WTF was that?? It had nothing to do with the movie. Totally irrelevant to the whole thing...I think it was done to catch attention and get people to watch this pile of shit movie. It didn't even get remotely interesting until almost halfway through and it bored the holy hell out of me. Overall I'd give this pile of fuck (As Zane would say) a 2 out of 5. There was a sex scene (two white people gettin it), like 2 boob shots, a butt shot, a bloody torso in the snow, a head impaled on a stick and that's about it. Not too horrible, but there could have been a bit more gore, you know what I'm sayin?? I wouldn't watch this movie again if you paid me. The acting was bad and the used that time lapsed shit in between scenes alot. BOO! Well then, since you're here how about you check out Zane's stuff too??? Until next time faithful readers! Thanks for checking us out!!
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| Sasha 'BB' Slaughter |
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