The Best Horror Movie of all Time: Bracket Style Round Two By: Zombie Zane

Hello Dead End Horror fans and noted pubic area shavers. What’s new bug-a-boo? Well, it’s Friday and that means that it’s time for me to do one more post before the weekend. Bet you’re all fucking excited and shit aren’t ya?

Anywho, today’s post will be round two of my best horror movie ever. Now if you haven’t read Wednesday’s post you have no fucking idea what I’m talking about. But not to worry. I’m gonna fix you up. I’m gonna re-post Wednesday’s shit along with the today’s new shit so you can see all the shit at once. How many shit’s is that?

What I’ve done is taken 16 of the best  horror movies and divided them up into four regions. Each one of those four regions has four horror films seeded one through four. You follow? Okay. Each movie will face off against another movie bracket style until only two movies remain. Hence the two horror movies that remain will duke it out to see which one is the best horror film of all time. You dig?

Still not getting it? That’s okay. Just keep reading and you will. This post I’m gonna be doing round two. Or the final eight. My next post will be the final four and then finally the Championship. As I said, I re-posted round one so those who haven’t seen it can catch up. The second round begins under Elite Eight Horror Movies. Go and peep it out.

THE BEST HORROR MOVIE OF ALL TIME: BRACKET STYLE- ROUND ONE

South Region
1.  Hostel
2.  Scream
3.  Pet Sematary
4.  Nosferatu

Round 1  
1.  Hostel vs.  4.  Nosferatu: This was not as close as you might’ve thought. I love Nosferatu but Hostel was just the better film in this match-up. Hostel wins in a bloodbath.
2.  Scream vs.  3.  Pet Sematary: Close. So fucking close. I’m giving the victory to Pet Sematary here but not by much. Pet Sematary moves on to the second round.

North Region
1.  Child’s Play
2.  Salem’s Lot
3.  Poltergeist
4.  The Blair Witch Project

Round 1
1.  Child’s Play vs.  4.  The Blair Witch Project: Hella good match-up! I’ve seen both, I love both but Blair Witch wins this match-up in a close one.
2.  Salem’s Lot vs.  3.  Poltergeist: Holy fuck! How to pick this one? This was another close battle but Salem’s Lot gets the ‘W’ here and moves on.

West Region
1.  Let the Right One In
2.  Psycho (1960)
3.  Alien
4.  Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)

Round 1  
1.  Let the Right One In vs.  4.  Texas Chainsaw Massacre: LTROI wins this in a slaughter. I dig some TCM but let’s face it, Let the Right One In is far superior.
2.  Psycho vs.  3.  Alien: Two iconic horror films. What to do?  I’m going Alien here even though Psycho is the granddaddy of all slasher films. Alien moves on.

East Region
1.  The Exorcist
2.  An American Werewolf in London
3.  Saw
4.  Open Water

Round 1
1.  The Exorcist vs.  4. Open Water: Man, these are two totally different movies and both are scary as fuck. For different reasons of course. But The Exorcist wins this one. But closer than you would think.
2.  An American Werewolf in London vs.  3.  Saw: Hmmm. Interesting. I’m going with American Werewolf in London on this one. Mostly because Saw has too many fucking sequels and I’m a fan of Landis. Werewolf in London moves forward.

Elite Eight Horror Movies of all Time

1.  Hostel vs.  3.  Pet Sematary: Nice! This is a tough call. After careful consideration and much deliberation, I’m giving the win to Hostel. Not an easy choice but that’s the way I see it.
2.  Salem’s Lot vs.  4.  Blair Witch Project: Another fierce battle! Too bad there can’t be a tie. I’m going Salem’s Lot here. It was the first movie to scare the fuck outta me and therefore it moves on.
1.  Let the Right One In vs.  3.  Alien: Two totally opposite movies both with a unique style. I dig the shit outta both of these but I’m gonna have Let the Right One In move on to the next round. It’s just too good a movie to leave out of the finals.
1.  The Exorcist vs.  2.  An American Werewolf in London: Hands down the clear cut winner here is The Exorcist. It’s just too bad ass to go down at the hands of American Werewolf in London. Sorry, Landis. I love ya but...

Well, there you have it horror fans. We’re now down to four movies. What movie will be crowned the best horror movie of all time? If you wanna know, come back and check us out. I’ll post the final two rounds on Wednesday’s post next week. I’ll do the final four and the Championship then.

Until next time this is Zombie Zane and the busty Sasha Slaughter bidding you adieu.

Horror Poems By: Sasha Slaughter



The Massacre

As I walk with the others,

I see it in the sky,

the rest of them change direction,

and I don't know why.

I decide to follow them,

with what little is left of my mind,

this overwhelming need to feed haunts me,

I know what I must find.

I can see them running,

trying desperately to escape,

some of them don't make it,

they've met their deadly fate.

I fight off the others for a bite of warm flesh,

I finally have what I've been looking for,

but I couldn't believe what happened next.

As I eat alongside the others,

with the rest of the undead,

my whole world goes black in an instant,

I've just been shot in the head.

 The Doctor

I sit here contemplating suicide,

there is no other choice but to end my life,

I've let down the one closest to me,

TS-19, she used to be my wife.

I see the others in the lobby,

surprised they are alive,

but deep down inside of my soul,

I know none of them will survive.

I let them in and tell them to make themselves at home,

knowing that within hours,

I won't be dying alone.

They pepper me with questions,

I try to answer them my best,

I tell them about the others in my building,

and how I'm now the only one that's left.

The time is getting closer,

the clock on the wall tells me so,

the timer counts down the minutes,

not many to go.

I tell the others that an imminent end is near,

they fight and argue with me,

this is something they don't want to hear.

I seal the doors tight,

I tell them that they cannot leave,

the end of the world is upon us,

and today they will perish with me.

They finally convince me to let them go,

I tell them that the place is sealed tight,

but they don't believe it's so.

A member of their group decides to stay with me,

the rest of them make it out safely,

just as she and I are blown away,

with the rest of the CDC.

Bazinga! There you have it horror fanatics. A little something different this week from yours truly. Hope you liked it! And I hope that those of you that read the poems know what they are about. Not everyone will. You would have had to tune in to a certain tv show to even know what I'm talking about. And to those of you who figured it out, Awesome!!! 

I don't do poetry often, but maybe I should though. Afterall, I got mad skills bitch! haha. But seriously, thanks for taking the time to stop by and check out my stuff. Not that stuff perverts!!! You wish! =) Don't forget to stop in and check on Zane, he loves the company. Thanks for stopping by!!!

The Best Horror Movie of all Time: Bracket Style By: Zombie Zane

Heya, Dead End Horror fans and noted crotch watchers. What’s kickin? Well, I actually have some new shit for your viewing pleasure today. Well don’t just stand there looking stunned and poorly. Continue reading.

As I mentioned in Monday’s post I’ve been working on a bracket style thing that will show you the best horror movie of all time. If you are unfamiliar with a bracket then I don’t know what to tell you other than keep reading.

Anywho, what I’ve done is taken 16 of the best  horror movies and divided them up into four regions. Each one of those four regions has four horror films seeded one through four. You follow? Okay. Each movie will face off against another movie bracket style until only two movies remain. Hence the two horror movies that remain will duke it out to see which one is the best horror film of all time. You dig?  

Still not getting it? That’s okay. Just keep reading and you will. This post I’m gonna be doing round one. My next post will be round two and so on and so on. So, sit down lay down or squat down and let’s get to it.

THE BEST HORROR MOVIE OF ALL TIME: BRACKET STYLE- ROUND ONE

South Region
1.  Hostel
2.  Scream
3.  Pet Sematary
4.  Nosferatu

Round 1 
1.  Hostel vs.  4.  Nosferatu: This was not as close as you might’ve thought. I love Nosferatu but Hostel was just the better film in this match-up. Hostel wins in a bloodbath.
2.  Scream vs.  3.  Pet Sematary: Close. So fucking close. I’m giving the victory to Pet Sematary here but not by much. Pet Sematary moves on to the second round. 

North Region
1.  Child’s Play
2.  Salem’s Lot
3.  Poltergeist
4.  The Blair Witch Project

Round 1
1.  Child’s Play vs.  4.  The Blair Witch Project: Hella good match-up! I’ve seen both, I love both but Blair Witch wins this match-up in a close one.
2.  Salem’s Lot vs.  3.  Poltergeist: Holy fuck! How to pick this one? This was another close battle but Salem’s Lot gets the ‘W’ here and moves on. 

West Region
1.  Let the Right One In
2.  Psycho (1960)
3.  Alien
4.  Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)

Round 1 
1.  Let the Right One In vs.  4.  Texas Chainsaw Massacre: LTROI wins this in a slaughter. I dig some TCM but let’s face it, Let the Right One In is far superior.
2.  Psycho vs.  3.  Alien: Two iconic horror films. What to do?  I’m going Alien here even though Psycho is the granddaddy of all slasher films. Alien moves on.

East Region
1.  The Exorcist
2.  An American Werewolf in London
3.  Saw
4.  Open Water

Round 1
1.  The Exorcist vs.  Open Water: Man, these are two totally different movies and both are scary as fuck. For different reasons of course. But The Exorcist wins this one. But closer than you would think.
2.  An American Werewolf in London vs.  3.  Saw: Hmmm. Interesting. I’m going with American Werewolf in London on this one. Mostly because Saw has too many fucking sequels and I’m a fan of Landis. Werewolf in London moves forward. 

So, there you go. Round one of the best horror movies is now in the books. What you think? Agree? Disagree? In any case this was fun as hell. We’ve now narrowed the field to eight. What film will win? Any upsets in the making? You’ll just have to check back and see.

Until next time, this is Zombie Zane and Sasha Slaughter bidding you adieu. We’ll see you next time horror fans.

Have You Seen My Sausage? My Sausage is Freakin Huge!! By: Sasha Slaughter

Hey there fellow horror fans that pretend they're world famous rappers! Thanks for stopping by and checking us out. Sasha Slaughter here with you and today I'll be reviewing a movie for you! Yay!!! I know you missed me last week, so here I am bitches. Anyway, I'll be reviewing the movie Bread Crumbs...sounds scary right? ha. 

I found the movie on Netflix and decided to give a watch because I've never heard of it. And also, people are giving it really bad ratings, and I just wanna see for myself. Bread Crumbs was directed by Mike Nichols and stars no one that I've ever heard of. So let's see what it's like, shall we?

In this modern day take on the classic Hansel and Gretel (Total bullshit by the way. Nothing like it really), Bread Crumbs finds a group adult filmmakers and actors falling victim to a murderous presence while filming at a remote cottage in the woods. Veteran actress Angie thought she had left her painful and sordid past behind her, until a sleazy producer convinces her to do one last movie. And as the cast and crew wind their way through the secluded woods in search of their destination, they meet Patti and Henry along the way. Seemingly harmless children, or so they think, that appear to live amongst the trees.

Shortly after they reach the cabin and the cameras start to roll, the group is attacked by a psychotic killer. The lead actor Billy, who is terrified after witnessing a cold blooded killing, holds Patti hostage, in hopes of stopping the killer, whom they believe is Patti's brother Henry. Patti insists she has nothing to do with the murders and that Henry is in charge. But soon reality sets in and it's only Henry, Patti, and Angie left standing. Will Angie make it out alive, or will she fall victim and star in her final bloody swan song?

Ooooh sounds interesting doesn't it? Don't let my awesome writing fool you. This movie was a gigantic steaming pile of absolute fuck!! Yeah! I should have listened to the people on Suckflix when they said it was horrible. But I had to find out for myself. 

Ahh. It wasn't all horrible. I actually laughed out loud a time or two. Like when the porn actor (playing a pizza delivery guy no doubt) was practicing his lines. Too funny. Other than that this film has no redeeming qualities whatsoever. 

And don't get all excited about the fact that the people are filming an adult movie. You don't really get to see much...two or three boob shots, and that's about it. I will say though that the kids that played Henry and Patti did a great job. I mean, they were seriously creepy little homicidal children. It was kind of awesome.

This was probably one of the worst movies I've ever seen though. I cannot even begin to explain how stupid it was.I mean...just stupid. The acting was terrible, the plot was even worse...and the ending? Don't even get me started on the ending. The ending made the movie suck even more...if that's possible. Overall I'd give Bread Crumbs a 2.5 out of 5. And I give it a 2.5 because there was a good bit of blood...a throat slashing, death by bow and arrow, and a dude hung by chains...not too bad. 

And I gotta say, the actor that played Henry was awesome. His was definitely the best acting. He made the character so believable. I'd tell you to watch it and see, but I don't really recommend this film at all, and I don't want you freaks complaining that I made you waste an hour and a half of your life. 

 Anyway, that's all I gotta say about that. Thanks for stopping by and don't forget to see what Zane has going on. I think he's doing a little bracket style horror for you! Yay!

Mindfuck Monday By: Zombie Zane

Heya Dead End Horror fans and noted cross dressers. What’s good? Hope everyone had a safe and Happy Easter. But it’s Monday and that means back to the grind. Speaking of grind, I sure could use a dry hump right about now. Was that nasty?

So, it’s Monday and as usual it’s time for Sasha and I to tell you what we have going on this week at DEH. I’d love to share that with you but in the interest of suspense I think I’d rather just let you wonder about it. Hey, don’t hate. It’s just our way of making you come back more often and visit. 

I’ve been working on a bracket style thing of the best horror movies of all time. You know like the NCAA brackets? It’ll break down similar to that. Do you get it? No? That’s cool if you don’t because you will have to come back and see what the fuck I’m talking about.

I may do a movie review as well. I haven’t really watched anything of interest lately but who knows. Maybe I’ll stumble across something that’s worth a post. Then again maybe I won’t and you’ll have to read my random rants about nothing. Either way. You will like it.

As far as Sasha’s concerned. Who knows what she’ll do. She may rant and ramble as well. Or she may tell you how to raise the dead using an apple core and a bag of medicine. We actually did that once.  

Or she may tell you about the time she was visited by the Grey’s. Now that’s a great story! Especially the part when they...Sorry. I’ll let Sasha tell you that part. But rest assured noted pink thong wearers, whatever we do will be most enjoyable.

Well, until tomorrow take care, stay a-scared and Sasha and I are outta here. We will catch you on the flip side. Peace-peace and chocolate pudding grease.