I'd Totally Shane that Stupid Bitch By: Zombie Zane

Hey there Dead End Horror fans and noted golf playing ninja’s. What’s good? Speaking of good, it’s Good Friday so if you’re of the religious sort I gotta ask you what the fuck are you doing on this blog? But whatever reason you’re here, please, by all means stay.

This was a shitty week for us a DEH. First, there were tons of plumbing problems at the Zombie Zane house. Then to top it off, a ton of other zombies invaded my space. What a shit pile kind of week! 

And then, and then, Sasha was all geeked about watching the series, “Dark Shadows” but Netflix fucked the whole deal up. Read Sasha’s post for more info on that. I was bummed too. I was really wanting to hear what she thought about it. More than that, I was just wanting her to suffer through bullshit I thought she’d hate. I’m a great taskmaster. Just ask her. 

We’ve been running behind for the last few weeks and I beg your apology. Sometimes shit just gets away from ya and the next thing you know you’re behind. I like to behind. Behind Sasha that is! BAM! POW! How the fuck you like me now! What was that all about? I have no clue. Just rambling. 

Anyway, Sasha and I are gonna be back to schedule. Sooner rather than later. The dust is starting to clear and we should be back on track. Like next week. Fingers crossed! 

Okay noted dead heads and wet ends, have a safe and Hoppy Easter! Did you see what I did there? Hoppy? Get it? Bad joke I know. But what the fuck do you expect? I ain’t started drinking yet.

Until next time, take care, stay a-scared and I am out. See you on the flip side.

Netflix Sucks...And There's Too Much Guyliner!!! By: Sasha Slaughter

Hey there creep shows!! Thanks for taking the time to stop by and see what's going on. Zane and I have got yet another week full of awesomeness for you, but then again, when isn't what we do not awesome? Right? Anyway, Zane had this idea for me to start watching and reviewing Dark Shadows. 

It was a daytime Gothic soap opera back in 1966. It aired on ABC from June 27, 1966 until April 2, 1971. Since they are remaking Dark Shadows (It comes to theatres in May and stars Johnny Depp...the dude with too much guyliner. Johnny, if you read this, lay off the guyliner bro). 

The show was created by Dan Curtis. The series became hugely popular when vampire Barnabas Collins appeared one year into the show. Dark Shadows also features werewolves, zombies, man-made monsters, witches, warlocks, time travel, and a parallel universe...woo! Over the years, Dark Shadows has gotten a tremendous cult following. Sounds exciting right? Let me tell you a little more about it.

Well piss on all of it because Netlfix sucks. I was planning on delighting you by telling you all about Dark Shadows but it seems that Netflix can't tell their ass from a hole in the ground, and episodes 1-209 aren't even on Netflix! That's right, they start the Dark Shadows series at episode 210. WTF??? 

Why do I pay you ass clowns $8 a month again??? Maybe I should take my business elsewhere...no wonder ya'll are going downhill. Sorry about that horror fans. I'm so agitated! I was looking forward to watching this series, it looked pretty interesting.

And I could watch the series if I got the dvd's in the mail, but what I'm reading from other customers of suckflix, the dvd's are scratched and broken when they receive them. What the hell? So in short, not only have I wasted your time, but more importantly, my time as well. 

I could have been doing other things instead of fucking around with Netflix all day. Things that involved well oiled midgets and Zane, vodka, or turning on my radio =). Whatever!!! 

Sorry to let you down fellow horror lovers. I'll have something better for you next time, I promise! But thanks for stopping by and checking us out anyway!