5 Things I'd Do If The World Was Going To End By: Sasha Slaughter

Hey dead heads!!! Thanks for stopping by to check me out...I mean us out...=). Today I'll be doing my surprise article...ooooh!!! It was Zane's idea and I figured what the hell, I always do what he tells me anyway. Sigh. 

Anywho, I'll be doing a list of 5 things that I'd do if the world was going to end, because those crazy Mayans apparently predicted that the world would end on December 21, 2012. I personally think it's a bunch of bullshit and it's just some nerds and crazies with boners freaking out over nothing. 

And in my humble opinion, the Mayan calendar thingy stopped because they ran out of rock to scribble on....or maybe they got drunk and forgot what the hell they were doing. Anyway, I thought maybe it would fun to do list, so here it is!!!

1.) Ream Zombie Zane in the ass for making me do shit I don't wanna do. He does it all the time. Do this Sasha, do that Sasha. I'd make sure to ream him very well...with a giant strap on....and no lube. Take that Zane!!!

2.) I'd Shane some bitches. Yeahh, you know who you are. There are a few chicks I'd love to Shane right about now. You know, shoot 'em in the leg, let them get eaten by zombies or whatever. Sorry man. Well, actually I'm not sorry. Whores.

3.) Eat as much peanut butter as humanly possible. That's right, I'd waste some of my last minutes gorging on some peanutty goodness. Hell, if the world is ending, I wanna die with my favorite food in my belly!! Don't judge!!!

4.) Have sex...as much as possible. That's right, I wanna at least have one last 0 before I burst into flames or whatever. And I could incorporate the peanut butter with the sex too...huh huh. Two birds with one stone. Bam!!!

5.) Get drunk as hell. Yeahh. One last time hittin the hooch would def. make my list. Actually, I could get wasted, eat peanut butter, and have sex all at the same time. I bet that would get messy...gross. But if it were the end of the world, I really wouldn't care about getting dirty. Ok...maybe I would.

So there you have it. Those are five things that I'd do if the world were coming to an end. It's some silly shit, I know. But it's me...whattya want??? And I'm sure some of you creepers out there would do some wayyy more freaky shit. 

Don't lie. I know it's only the freaky ones that read our blog. Rawr!! And since you're stalking my stuff (not that stuff pervs...you wish!!) don't forget to stop in and see what Zane's up to....it could be anything!! And I'll bet whatever it is, he's doing in his shiny MP's. HA! And as always don't forget to check back next week for all new stuff here at Dead End Horror.

Meet your Maker By: Sasha Slaughter

Oh hey there die-hard DEH fans! Thanks for stopping by to stalk us. This week we'll be doing some random stuff, and I've got a different kind of post for you on Thursday, but I won't ruin the surprise. =) And Zane will be finishing up is horror movie bracket, who will be #1?? Stay tuned! 

As for today, I thought maybe I'd review a movie from Suckflix...I mean Netflix. Lately I've been finding a bunch of off the wall horror films that I've never heard of, and neither has Zane...and that's saying something cuz Zane knows ALOT about horror films. The movie I'll be reviewing today is called Mask Maker (Meet your Maker). It was released in 2010 and written by G.E. Furst and Eric Miller and was directed by G.E. Furst. Now let's see what it's all about shall we?

Evan Reynold's decides to give his girlfriend the surprise of a lifetime, and buys an old plantation house in the country that sits on forty acres of land. Shocked at first, Jennifer finally comes around and can't wait to start a life in their new home. Evan reveals that he got the plantation plus the land for a mere ten thousand dollars, and Jennifer wonders aloud why it was so cheap. 

But what they are about to discover from the small town, and personal experiences, tells them exactly why they got such a great deal on the home. They decide to invite a few friends over to help them clean up and start fixing up the place. 

But soon after, their friends start disappearing one by one, which at first goes unnoticed. Jennifer finds an old diary that belonged to Lydia Beaufort, and reads in it terrible entry's about a boy named Leonard and his medical condition. She then discovers that Evan has bought Lydia's old home.

Jennifer also finds strange satanic symbols and voodoo curses in the diary, but thinks nothing of it. She learns from Mr. Peck, who works at a local store, the story of the house and the woman that the diary belonged to. He tells her of a boy named Leonard, who was said to have been touched by the devil. 

Lydia was believed to be a witch and was hung one night after sacrificing an infant to save Leonard's life. As Leonard tried to save the witch, he was stabbed and buried on the land in a small graveyard with a voodoo staff stuck into his grave so that he cannot rise from the dead. But Evan stumbles upon the staff and takes it out of the ground, causing Leonard to come back, and seek revenge on those who killed Lydia.

WOW!! Such drama...such suspense. Am I good or what? haha. This movie wasn't all that bad. I mean, there were some major holes in the plot, but it works. And I gotta say, how many slashers can you rip off in a single movie?? The cursed killer dude murdered people and then ripped off their faces and wore their skin....Sound familiar?? 

But it was kind of cool how the guy decapitated his victims and ripped their faces off in one piece instead of sewing them together. Total badass. Ohh and the film also kind of ripped off Halloween. Totally. The way he wore the faces really made him look like Michael Myers. I mean, he even wore a jumpsuit at one point and did the slow walk. What??? 

And the flashbacks were kind of confusing. They were mainly flashbacks of the story of the masked killer and the witch, but they didn't make a whole lot of sense. Like, they never said what his medical condition was and why his face was always bandaged.

The plot was decent, although the acting was pretty bland. The only redeeming quality was the gore, and there was plenty of it. A few decapitations, death by axe...ahh and plenty of blood. And for you pervs out there, there were a few ass and boob shots. Although the boob shots were nothing to get a boner over..unless you're a fan of the itty bitty titty committee. HA! 

Overall I'd give Mask Maker (Meet your Maker) a 2.5 out of 5. I wasn't very impressed, and the movie was average at best. But the gore kind of upped the score for me. I don't know if I would recommend this movie. 

I mean maybe if you were bored and wanted to watch something that you won't really pay attention to, or if you just wanna see some ta ta's. Whatever floats your boat. Thanks for stopping by and don't forget to see what Zane has going on for this week.

Horror Poems By: Sasha Slaughter



The Massacre

As I walk with the others,

I see it in the sky,

the rest of them change direction,

and I don't know why.

I decide to follow them,

with what little is left of my mind,

this overwhelming need to feed haunts me,

I know what I must find.

I can see them running,

trying desperately to escape,

some of them don't make it,

they've met their deadly fate.

I fight off the others for a bite of warm flesh,

I finally have what I've been looking for,

but I couldn't believe what happened next.

As I eat alongside the others,

with the rest of the undead,

my whole world goes black in an instant,

I've just been shot in the head.

 The Doctor

I sit here contemplating suicide,

there is no other choice but to end my life,

I've let down the one closest to me,

TS-19, she used to be my wife.

I see the others in the lobby,

surprised they are alive,

but deep down inside of my soul,

I know none of them will survive.

I let them in and tell them to make themselves at home,

knowing that within hours,

I won't be dying alone.

They pepper me with questions,

I try to answer them my best,

I tell them about the others in my building,

and how I'm now the only one that's left.

The time is getting closer,

the clock on the wall tells me so,

the timer counts down the minutes,

not many to go.

I tell the others that an imminent end is near,

they fight and argue with me,

this is something they don't want to hear.

I seal the doors tight,

I tell them that they cannot leave,

the end of the world is upon us,

and today they will perish with me.

They finally convince me to let them go,

I tell them that the place is sealed tight,

but they don't believe it's so.

A member of their group decides to stay with me,

the rest of them make it out safely,

just as she and I are blown away,

with the rest of the CDC.

Bazinga! There you have it horror fanatics. A little something different this week from yours truly. Hope you liked it! And I hope that those of you that read the poems know what they are about. Not everyone will. You would have had to tune in to a certain tv show to even know what I'm talking about. And to those of you who figured it out, Awesome!!! 

I don't do poetry often, but maybe I should though. Afterall, I got mad skills bitch! haha. But seriously, thanks for taking the time to stop by and check out my stuff. Not that stuff perverts!!! You wish! =) Don't forget to stop in and check on Zane, he loves the company. Thanks for stopping by!!!

Have You Seen My Sausage? My Sausage is Freakin Huge!! By: Sasha Slaughter

Hey there fellow horror fans that pretend they're world famous rappers! Thanks for stopping by and checking us out. Sasha Slaughter here with you and today I'll be reviewing a movie for you! Yay!!! I know you missed me last week, so here I am bitches. Anyway, I'll be reviewing the movie Bread Crumbs...sounds scary right? ha. 

I found the movie on Netflix and decided to give a watch because I've never heard of it. And also, people are giving it really bad ratings, and I just wanna see for myself. Bread Crumbs was directed by Mike Nichols and stars no one that I've ever heard of. So let's see what it's like, shall we?

In this modern day take on the classic Hansel and Gretel (Total bullshit by the way. Nothing like it really), Bread Crumbs finds a group adult filmmakers and actors falling victim to a murderous presence while filming at a remote cottage in the woods. Veteran actress Angie thought she had left her painful and sordid past behind her, until a sleazy producer convinces her to do one last movie. And as the cast and crew wind their way through the secluded woods in search of their destination, they meet Patti and Henry along the way. Seemingly harmless children, or so they think, that appear to live amongst the trees.

Shortly after they reach the cabin and the cameras start to roll, the group is attacked by a psychotic killer. The lead actor Billy, who is terrified after witnessing a cold blooded killing, holds Patti hostage, in hopes of stopping the killer, whom they believe is Patti's brother Henry. Patti insists she has nothing to do with the murders and that Henry is in charge. But soon reality sets in and it's only Henry, Patti, and Angie left standing. Will Angie make it out alive, or will she fall victim and star in her final bloody swan song?

Ooooh sounds interesting doesn't it? Don't let my awesome writing fool you. This movie was a gigantic steaming pile of absolute fuck!! Yeah! I should have listened to the people on Suckflix when they said it was horrible. But I had to find out for myself. 

Ahh. It wasn't all horrible. I actually laughed out loud a time or two. Like when the porn actor (playing a pizza delivery guy no doubt) was practicing his lines. Too funny. Other than that this film has no redeeming qualities whatsoever. 

And don't get all excited about the fact that the people are filming an adult movie. You don't really get to see much...two or three boob shots, and that's about it. I will say though that the kids that played Henry and Patti did a great job. I mean, they were seriously creepy little homicidal children. It was kind of awesome.

This was probably one of the worst movies I've ever seen though. I cannot even begin to explain how stupid it was.I mean...just stupid. The acting was terrible, the plot was even worse...and the ending? Don't even get me started on the ending. The ending made the movie suck even more...if that's possible. Overall I'd give Bread Crumbs a 2.5 out of 5. And I give it a 2.5 because there was a good bit of blood...a throat slashing, death by bow and arrow, and a dude hung by chains...not too bad. 

And I gotta say, the actor that played Henry was awesome. His was definitely the best acting. He made the character so believable. I'd tell you to watch it and see, but I don't really recommend this film at all, and I don't want you freaks complaining that I made you waste an hour and a half of your life. 

 Anyway, that's all I gotta say about that. Thanks for stopping by and don't forget to see what Zane has going on. I think he's doing a little bracket style horror for you! Yay!

Mindfuck Monday By: Zombie Zane

Heya Dead End Horror fans and noted cross dressers. What’s good? Hope everyone had a safe and Happy Easter. But it’s Monday and that means back to the grind. Speaking of grind, I sure could use a dry hump right about now. Was that nasty?

So, it’s Monday and as usual it’s time for Sasha and I to tell you what we have going on this week at DEH. I’d love to share that with you but in the interest of suspense I think I’d rather just let you wonder about it. Hey, don’t hate. It’s just our way of making you come back more often and visit. 

I’ve been working on a bracket style thing of the best horror movies of all time. You know like the NCAA brackets? It’ll break down similar to that. Do you get it? No? That’s cool if you don’t because you will have to come back and see what the fuck I’m talking about.

I may do a movie review as well. I haven’t really watched anything of interest lately but who knows. Maybe I’ll stumble across something that’s worth a post. Then again maybe I won’t and you’ll have to read my random rants about nothing. Either way. You will like it.

As far as Sasha’s concerned. Who knows what she’ll do. She may rant and ramble as well. Or she may tell you how to raise the dead using an apple core and a bag of medicine. We actually did that once.  

Or she may tell you about the time she was visited by the Grey’s. Now that’s a great story! Especially the part when they...Sorry. I’ll let Sasha tell you that part. But rest assured noted pink thong wearers, whatever we do will be most enjoyable.

Well, until tomorrow take care, stay a-scared and Sasha and I are outta here. We will catch you on the flip side. Peace-peace and chocolate pudding grease.

I'd Totally Shane that Stupid Bitch By: Zombie Zane

Hey there Dead End Horror fans and noted golf playing ninja’s. What’s good? Speaking of good, it’s Good Friday so if you’re of the religious sort I gotta ask you what the fuck are you doing on this blog? But whatever reason you’re here, please, by all means stay.

This was a shitty week for us a DEH. First, there were tons of plumbing problems at the Zombie Zane house. Then to top it off, a ton of other zombies invaded my space. What a shit pile kind of week! 

And then, and then, Sasha was all geeked about watching the series, “Dark Shadows” but Netflix fucked the whole deal up. Read Sasha’s post for more info on that. I was bummed too. I was really wanting to hear what she thought about it. More than that, I was just wanting her to suffer through bullshit I thought she’d hate. I’m a great taskmaster. Just ask her. 

We’ve been running behind for the last few weeks and I beg your apology. Sometimes shit just gets away from ya and the next thing you know you’re behind. I like to behind. Behind Sasha that is! BAM! POW! How the fuck you like me now! What was that all about? I have no clue. Just rambling. 

Anyway, Sasha and I are gonna be back to schedule. Sooner rather than later. The dust is starting to clear and we should be back on track. Like next week. Fingers crossed! 

Okay noted dead heads and wet ends, have a safe and Hoppy Easter! Did you see what I did there? Hoppy? Get it? Bad joke I know. But what the fuck do you expect? I ain’t started drinking yet.

Until next time, take care, stay a-scared and I am out. See you on the flip side.

Netflix Sucks...And There's Too Much Guyliner!!! By: Sasha Slaughter

Hey there creep shows!! Thanks for taking the time to stop by and see what's going on. Zane and I have got yet another week full of awesomeness for you, but then again, when isn't what we do not awesome? Right? Anyway, Zane had this idea for me to start watching and reviewing Dark Shadows. 

It was a daytime Gothic soap opera back in 1966. It aired on ABC from June 27, 1966 until April 2, 1971. Since they are remaking Dark Shadows (It comes to theatres in May and stars Johnny Depp...the dude with too much guyliner. Johnny, if you read this, lay off the guyliner bro). 

The show was created by Dan Curtis. The series became hugely popular when vampire Barnabas Collins appeared one year into the show. Dark Shadows also features werewolves, zombies, man-made monsters, witches, warlocks, time travel, and a parallel universe...woo! Over the years, Dark Shadows has gotten a tremendous cult following. Sounds exciting right? Let me tell you a little more about it.

Well piss on all of it because Netlfix sucks. I was planning on delighting you by telling you all about Dark Shadows but it seems that Netflix can't tell their ass from a hole in the ground, and episodes 1-209 aren't even on Netflix! That's right, they start the Dark Shadows series at episode 210. WTF??? 

Why do I pay you ass clowns $8 a month again??? Maybe I should take my business elsewhere...no wonder ya'll are going downhill. Sorry about that horror fans. I'm so agitated! I was looking forward to watching this series, it looked pretty interesting.

And I could watch the series if I got the dvd's in the mail, but what I'm reading from other customers of suckflix, the dvd's are scratched and broken when they receive them. What the hell? So in short, not only have I wasted your time, but more importantly, my time as well. 

I could have been doing other things instead of fucking around with Netflix all day. Things that involved well oiled midgets and Zane, vodka, or turning on my radio =). Whatever!!! 

Sorry to let you down fellow horror lovers. I'll have something better for you next time, I promise! But thanks for stopping by and checking us out anyway!

Zombies...Blood...and a Friendly Sociopath By: Sasha Slaughter

Oh well hey there DEH fans!! Thanks for checking us out! In case you didn't know, as of this month Zane and I have had the blog for 1 year. Wow! Crazy right? So we wanna thank all of our fans, new ones, and ones that have been there from the beginning. We appreciate you showing us some love by reading our stuff. We will continue to rock your socks for as long we can. 

Now, let's get down to business. Today I'll be doing another movie review for you freaks. I also found this movie on Netflix, it's called DIE-ner (get it?). It's a B movie about a zombie apocalypse. What's not to like? It came out in 2010 and was written by Patrick Horvath. So let me give you my review, huh?

A sociopathic serial killer named Ken stops at a small town diner and quickly befriends graveyard-shift waitress Rose. Winning over his trust, Rose tells him how she ended up in the lonesome diner. Ken seems genuinely interested, until he slits her throat. He then finds Fred, the unsuspecting cook, and kills him too. He stuffs their bodies in the walk-in freezer and cleans up the crime scene when his escape is thwarted when bickering married couple Kathy and Rob come into the diner. 

He pretends that he works at the diner and is friendly at first. He sits at their booth, with his pocket knife ready to kill the couple when the small town Sheriff arrives at the diner. The situation turns volatile when Fred and Rose stumble out of the freezer, in search of some flesh to munch on. Ken holds Rob, Kathy, and Sheriff Duke hostage, but with the zombie up-rising in full effect, Ken does his best to come up with a plan to flee both the law, and a fate much worse than death.

ZZZZZZZZZZ WOW!! What a pile of B movie shit my friends. Sure, it sounds good right? Well, that's because I wrote it, but anyway, it's actually really terrible. The acting is bad...the plot is bad.. the dialogue was bad...everything is just bad. I don't even know who any of those people are. But I will say that the movie did have that B movie humor in it. I laughed a few times, but that doesn't make up for how terrible the movie was. 

I think throughout most of the movie, there were like 5 zombies...I was like WTF?? Where are the zombies??? And then with five minutes of the movie left, that's when the zombies start like taking over the diner and killing people. There could have been more zombies though. It's supposed to be about a zombie apocalypse...I don't think that 10 zombies really counts as an apocalypse...do you?

I will say that the zombies looked pretty decent. There was a good amount of blood too...and a severed finger...and two severed heads. Not too bad. Overall I'd give DIE-ner (get it?) a 2 out of 5. I was actually pretty bored throughout the whole movie, I sort of wanted to take a nap. 

As you all know, I loves me some zombies, but the ones in this movie didn't do a thing for me. It's on Netflix if you wanna check out, you don't have to take my word for it. Thanks for taking the time and stopping by Dead End Horror!

Chocoalte Cake and Sodomy By: Zombie Zane

Put it in your mouth and suck it and suck it! What’s up Dead End Horror fans and noted apple turnovers? So it’s Wednesday and that means it’s time for me to post some shit. Aren’t you excited?

Anyway, what I got for you today is some Zombie Zane original shit. For the past few weeks I’ve been doing some short story writing for Yahoo! to go along with my sports shit. For those of yous who don’t know I do freelance writing. What? Did you think this was like my only job?

So this is where I’m gonna hit you up for a favor. I need some hits on some of these stories. You don’t have to read the shit. I mean you can if you want but I just need you to click on the links below. You click, I get paid and you ultimately get nada in return. Except the satisfaction of helping me out.

Don’t get me wrong, these are some good stories. I did write them after all. They are of the
PG-13 variety so I couldn’t say cunt or fuck or shit like that. And I had to edit some of the horror so they are bit watered down but good nonetheless.

So without further ado, here’s the links. Click ‘em and help your old buddy out. I Appreciate your support.

El Lobo

Not Her

Skulls and Thugs

Well, that’s all I got for today. Be sure and see what Sasha’s up to. If your lucky she may have something good to show you. IF you’re not lucky...you are shit out of luck my friends. Until next time, take care, stay a-scared and I am out. See you tomorrow.

A Rotting Corpse in Lingerie...And She's Got Yuck Mouth Too! By: Sasha Slaughter

Hey there snitches and bitches!! Yes, that's right, Zane and I are back!!! Did you miss us? Yes?? I know!!! Who the hell wouldn't, right? Anyway, things are back in full swing here at DEH and we'll be bringing you awesome shit this week, as usual. Today I'll be telling you about a movie I came across on Netflix. The flim is titled Ghosts of GoldField, and is said to be based on actual events that happened in GoldField, Nevada. The movie stars Roddy Piper (Rowdy Roddy Piper this is, and Kellan Lutz, the dude from Twilight) and was directed by Ed Winfield. Let me fill you in on the details, ehh?

Five college film students decide to head to the Nevada town of Goldfield, where it's rumored that an old hotel is haunted. Julie and her friends decide to check the place out and get permission from the lone bartender, still living in the derelict town, to investigate the Goldfield Hotel. Upon entering, Julie begins to hear strange whispers and screams, but no one else can hear them. The team is hoping to catch a glimpse of Elizabeth Walker, who was killed by her cruel lover in room 109 for being unfaithful and having a child to another man. Soon, the team also begins hearing strange whispers, most often hearing "Where's my baby?"

They see who they believe to be Elizabeth and follow her around the motel, where she quickly vanishes. Julie begins to have flashbacks and realizes that when Elizabeth's lover found out she had cheated, he killed her 2 week old baby, and then tortured and killed her. She also finds out that Elizabeth roams the halls in search of her infant daughter night after night, while reliving her death. 

Julie soon comes to the realization that a terrible family secret ties her grandmother to the tragic events that ended Elizabeth's life. And Julie comes to the terrifying conclusion that there is only way to end Elizabeth's torture, and that includes sacrificing herself. Forever.

Dun dun dun!!!! What ever will she do??? If you really wanna know, head on over to Netflix and check it out. Me, I wouldn't watch this again if you paid me. It really wasn't that good. The acting was terrible...I mean...just awful. And the whiny little klepto chick with the ugly fur boots really got on my nerves. I'm glad she died first, and what a way she died too! I won't go into detail, but it was kinda cool. 

There wasn't a whole lot of blood, and when there was, it kinda looked like cranberry juice. Weird. There were like....3 or 4 death scenes. They weren't great, but they weren't horrible. I think my fave was one that involved 2 inch long black fingernails and alot of blood. You'll have to watch it to see what I mean. Ohh and I can't forget the possession and dry hump scene...way cheesy. And it was with whiny klepto, so it was mucho annoying.

The film kind of dragged on in some parts, and it just wasn't believable. Ohh and the dead chick, Elizabeth, one minute she was all grotesque with gross teeth and yuck mouth, the next she's dressed in little skimpy lingerie...WHAT?? And who knew they had lingerie like that back in the 30's?? I sure didn't. But in the flashbacks, she's dressed in a long white nightgown thinger....I don't get it!! 

Anyway, I'd give Ghosts of Goldfield a 2 out of 5. Like I said, the acting was terrible, and I didn't really get the ending...I'm confused!! I really doubt I'd watch this again, and I probably wouldn't recommend seeing it, unless you're into dead chicks in skimpy lingerie, then by all means, enjoy. Well, that's all I gotta say about that, don't forget to check out what Zane's got going on this week...he may even wear his MP's while he writes! Thanks for stopping by!

What the Fuck is Up? By:Zombie Zane and Sasha Slaughter

Hello Dead End Horror fans that are noted apple turnovers. What’s good? Okay, so as you may have noticed, Sasha and I haven’t posted anything new in a while. Not to worry. We’ll be back in the swing of things starting next Monday. 

In the meantime, feel free to go look at some of our older shit. I’m sure you’ll find plenty of boobs, blood and whatever else you are seeking. This is just a temporary setback and we appreciate your understanding. 

Until next Monday, this is Sasha Slaughter and Zombie Zane saying take care, stay a-scared and we are out. See you on the flip side of hell motherfuckers.