Is My Ass too Big for these Zombie Pants? By: Zombie Zane

Well shit the bed! It’s been a long goddamn time but Sasha and I are back and in full force. What’s good Dead End Horror fans that are noted apple turnovers? It’s good to be back. Didn’t you miss us? We missed you. Well...sorta.

Anyway, this week at DEH Sasha and I will be talking about all kinds of cool shit. I think I may review a couple of horror movies, maybe do a bracket style thing having to do with horror’s hottest ladies, who the fuck knows. Just rest assured that it will be some cool shit.

As far as what Sasha has going on, I have no clue. I ain’t talked to her yet. But as always it will be entertaining and very stimulating. I usually force her to do shit she hates and I doubt this week will be any different. Maybe I’ll make her watch some old black and white shit...Or maybe I’ll make her watch some vampire lesbos...you’ll just have to check back. 

So, I guess that’s all I have for now. Kinda made this post short and sweet. But as I said, we are officially back and we will be having new posts all this week. And a big thank you to all of you who are still following us. It’s been a while and you patience is appreciated. And to those of yous who left us for dead...Fuck you.

On that note, we’ll be here tomorrow doing what we do best. Until then, take care, stay a-scared and I am out.

What the Fuck is Up? By:Zombie Zane and Sasha Slaughter

Hello Dead End Horror fans that are noted apple turnovers. What’s good? Okay, so as you may have noticed, Sasha and I haven’t posted anything new in a while. Not to worry. We’ll be back in the swing of things starting next Monday. 

In the meantime, feel free to go look at some of our older shit. I’m sure you’ll find plenty of boobs, blood and whatever else you are seeking. This is just a temporary setback and we appreciate your understanding. 

Until next Monday, this is Sasha Slaughter and Zombie Zane saying take care, stay a-scared and we are out. See you on the flip side of hell motherfuckers.

Watch This Shit and Love Me Long Time By: Zombie Zane

It’s Saturday Dead End Horror fans! This post was gonna come out yesterday but I fell asleep before I could get it out. Better late than never I guess. Anyway, to end this shit on a good note, I’m gonna give you a list of 5 1990's horror movies you should check out over the weekend. And one more thing, most if not all of these movies I’m about to list are available on Netflix instant watch.

So, no more foreplay. Here are 5 kick ass 1990's horror movies you should watch over the weekend.

“From Dusk till Dawn” - 1996 - Fucking love this movie! One of the best vampire movies of all time. I own it and have seen it at least 100 times. It’s good shit.
 

“Scream” - 1996 - You can’t have a 90's horror movie marathon without watching this one. I could care less about all the sequels and shit, but the first “Scream” goes down as one of the best.
 

“The Eternal Evil of Asia” - 1995 - Okay, I doubt most of you are familiar with this film. But that’s all the more reason to give it a watch. Trust me, you will dig this motherfucker.
 

“Demonic Toys” - 1992 - Another one you may not be as familiar with. But it’s still a cool movie. What’s not to like about killer toys that want to posses a cops unborn child?
 

“Return of the Living Dead 3' - 1993 - This list wouldn’t be complete without a zombie movie from the 90's. Ya gotta have the zombie movie. Ya just gotta!

Okay horror fans. There it is. 5 kick ass 90's horror movies for you to watch over the weekend.  So until Monday, take care, stay a-scared, and have a safe weekend. Sasha and I will catch you later. Make sure to go over and see what she’s doing if you haven’t done so. See ya later.

Shit We Haven't Seen and Shit We Wanna Talk About By: Zombie Zane

Dum-dum-dum-relax here I come. What’s good Dead End Horror fans? Hope everyone had a good weekend. As for me, my weekend was kinda on the fucked up side to say the least. I’ll spare you the details.

So, on to bigger and things like what the fuck Sasha and I are gonna be posting this week. This week we’re gonna be talking about shit we haven’t seen yet. By that I mean horror movies we ain’t seen yet. Sometimes the shit we review are movies that we’ve seen before. This week it will be all new shit to us. How many times did I say shit in this paragraph?

By the way, did anyone catch the Grammy’s last night? It was okay. Like I give it a 2.5 out of 5. Bruno Mars was fucking awesome! And so was Deadmau5! Even Katy Perry rocked the house and I usually hate that bitch.

Adele was fucking bad ass too! I’m glad she cleaned house. The chick can fucking sing. So kudos to her. And what was with Lady GaGa’s net face? Was that like a tuna net or some shit? And one more thing, enough of all the old geezers up on stage rockin.’ Jesus Christ. It was like circa 1960.

Okay, enough Grammy talk. Just be sure and tune in this week for shit we haven’t seen. I’m not sure what I’m gonna watch yet. I’ll figure it out. Sasha will be watching some cool shit too. I would tell you but I’d rather you just come back and see what the fuck is going on. 

So on that note, until tomorrow, take care, stay a-scared and I am out. Peace peace and rumph-rumph-rumph grease!

That's Not Fucking Funny By: Zombie Zane

Wack-a-do, wack-a-do! What’s new? What’s good Dead End Horror fans that sleep with sheep? Anyway, this is not my normal posting day, our schedule is all fucked up this week due to us taking Monday off. But we’ll be back on schedule next week.

So since this isn’t my usual day, I thought that I would post something out of the norm. I stumbled across some pretty funny zombie jokes and thought I’d share a few of them with you. Sounds like a fuckin’ laugh riot, yes? I thought so.   

Okay, no more rambling. What do you say we cut the foreplay and get to the jokes, yes? Without further ado, here are five fucking funny zombie jokes:

Q: “What’s cuter than a zombie baby?”

A: “A zombie baby with a bunny head in its mouth.”

How cute! If that were my child I’d be posting that shit all over facebook! Wonder who many ‘Like’ hits I’d receive.

Q: “Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?”

A: “No! They eat the fingers separately."

Okay, that was a little lame. It did give me a chuckle though. Let’s see if I can’t turn up the heat on the next couple.

Q: “What’s blue, covered with frost, and sits next to a turkey?”

A: “ A zombie baby in the freezer!”

Ba-boom-crash! I’m not sure why the zombie baby is in the freezer. Like I get the joke and all but why the fuck is it in the freezer? Maybe someone locked it in there. Whatever.

Q: “What did the zombie do after it’s teeth were pulled out?”

A: “ It ate the dentist.”

Man, I really don’t get that one either. Why the hell would a zombie be at the dentist’s office any damn way? Okay, I know these are a little on the bad side, I’ll try and find better jokes the next time. Let’s do one more.

Q: “What do you call a zombie in a tux?”

A: “Black and white and dead all over.”

Okay, okay that’s it. No more jokes. If I didn’t have shit to do today I’d probably rethink this post. But, alas, I am a busy guy so I’m gonna post this anyway. Go by and read some of Sasha’s shit. It’s surely better than this post. Until tomorrow, take care, stay a-scared and I am out.

Zombie Jokes

Secret Thoughts Lead to Bathroom Sex By: Zombie Zane

Bop-bop-bop-and fap-fap-fap! What’s new Dead End Horror fans? In case you haven’t noticed, this post is coming out a day late. Due to the Super Bowl and the Super Bowl festivities, Sasha and I decided to take yesterday off. I too elated with my New York Giants to even think about work.

So it’s now Tuesday and it’s back to the regular grind. Anyway, this week at DEH we’re just gonna do some random type shit. No real topic, just random horror whatever. Is that okay with you? No!? Too motherfucking bad! Our blog, our rules. But don’t worry, you’ll dig our shit. You always do. 

As far as digging our shit, Sasha will be doing a couple movie reviews, and maybe some dark poetry. She’s a damn good poet in case you didn’t know that. Me, I couldn’t write poetry to save my cock. Thank god that proposition hasn’t came about yet.

Anyway, as far as what I got going on for the week, not quite sure yet. Still mulling over what to do. But as usual, I’m a professional so you know it’ll be fuckin great. I may tell some nasty jokes, I was gonna do that last week but...And I got a couple of new horror movies I may wanna review. I guess you’ll just have to come back every day so you can find out. 

Well, I guess that’s about it for the day. I think I’ve covered everything that needs to be covered. Be sure and check back everyday so you can be up to date with our posts. Until tomorrow, take care, stay a-scared and I am out. Later taters!

Dude's Hair is a Fucking Mess By: Zombie Zane

Yo-yo-yo-and a whatta ya know! It’s Zombie Zane here with you once again to wrap up our week of cult horror movies. It’s been fun though hasn’t it? Well, it’s Friday so that means this will be the last post of the week. Don’t worry, we’ll be back next week with another cool topic.

To end the week, I’m gonna be talking about the film, “Eraserhead.” Have you seen this freaky, fucking film? No? Well, let me tell you about it and then you can decide if you wanna check it out or not. 

“Eraserhead” is a 1977 cult horror film directed by David Lynch. Surely you know who he is. Anyway it’s set in this like post-apocalyptic world. At least that what I got out of it. So this guy named Henry is trying to survive in his world. And let me tell you, not an easy task.

His girlfriend has these fucking freak outs, his apartment is a shithole and he has a mutant baby that screams all the time. It’s like the worst environment imaginable. Sounds like where I live come to think of it.  

His only relief comes from listening and watching the woman in the radiator sing about Heaven. This thing is very odd to say the least. But it’s not un-watch-able. I’ve actually seen it a couple of times. You’ll notice more shit the second time around. Like details and shit you may have missed the first time. Most of these kind of movies seem to be that way, ya know?

As far as my ranking goes, I would give this movie a...thinking...shit I don’t know...a...2.75 out of a possible 5. It’s not quite a 3, but it’s a little better than average. You should really try giving it a watch. I think it’s on Netflix instant watch. I could go see, but fuck it, I wanna finish this post. 

Anyway, there you have it. A little run down of the movie, “Eraserhead.” Maybe you can go check it out this weekend. Well, I guess that’s all I got for you today. Have a safe weekend and Sasha and I will see you back here next week.

Join the Cult Everybody! By: Zombie Zane

Yep! Yep! Yep! Yep! Yep! Let’s get to this motherfucking thing! Zombie Zane with you once again so please hold all comments until after the post. So, what’s good? Anyway, this week at Dead End Horror Sasha and I are talking about cult horror films. Much to Sasha’s chagrin. I don’t think she’s a fan.


But hey, I am! And so are you hopefully. Because if you ain’t, then you're most likely gonna stop reading this and leave me here with my thoughts. And I use my left hand for that in case you’re wondering.

So, how about I give you a list of the top five cult horror films of all time? Sound good? Okay, then. Let’s cut out the foreplay and get down to bussy.


Zombie Zane’s Top 5 Cult Horror Films of all Time.

5.  The Toxic Avenger (1984) This Troma film is one of my absolute favs! I remember being a little kid and sneaking up at like 2 a.m. to watch it. I’ve been a fan of this movie ever since. If you haven’t seen it, you should.

4.  Evil Dead II :Dead by Dawn (1987) ‘Let’s head on down into that cellar and carve ourselves a witch.’ Gotta love some Bruce Campbell. This is another movie that you must see.

3.  The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974) Can’t have a cult horror movie list without this little gem. This movie is known for a ton of gore, but it’s really not as bloody as you may think.

2.  Faces of Death Volume 1 (1978) I remember this one too. Remember the tagline was something like, ‘Banned in 46 Countries!’

1.  The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975) The title speaks for itself. Like I can sing most of the songs from this thing and damn near quote it verbatim. Fucking love it!


So see, if you’re not that familiar with cult horror, try giving these movies a watch. Or go see what Sasha’s writing about. She’s watching some pretty good cult horror films as well. So until the next time, take care, stay a-scared and I am outta here! Onward and upward.

Waxin' On Waxin' Off Just Because By: Zombie Zane

Hello Dead End Horror fans that like to wear thongs and scream, “Shout at the Devil” at the top of your lungs. What’s new? By the way, Sasha and I are pretty geeked. We’re about to hit the 1000 view mark for the month. This little horror blog is our baby and we’ve watched it become a grown ass blog! So thanks to all of you minions for the constant support.

Now then. This week at DEH is going to be all about cult classic horror films. If you have no idea what they are, stick around for the week and we will be more than happy to edu-macte ya.  

As far as what we’re gonna post, not gonna tell ya. I usually do but today I’m feeling a bit tight lipped. Tight like Sasha’s....WHOA! HEY NOW! Won’t go there. Sorry, Sasha. But I just had to.

Okay, moving right along. Umm...I will tell you this. I’m going to be throwing down a top ten or fifteen list of some of the best cult classic horror films. So that way if you are somewhat naieve on the subject you’ll have something to reference to.

Oh yeah! I may also throw in some nasty horror jokes as well. Wanna hear one? Okay!

Q: “What did one lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire?”
A: “See you next month!” 

Funny! I’ll maybe post some more throughout the week. Not that they have shit to do with our weekly topic but whatever.

Anywho, that’s about it. Be sure and hang around this week. We’ll be talking about some pretty cool movies and shit. We may even have a few laughs. So until tomorrow, take care, stay a-scared and I am out! Peace peace and cyber stalking douche bag grease. Fuck you Rex! Cocksuckin’ bitch boy!

LET'S ALL STRIP NAKED FOR THE DEVIL BY ZOMBIE ZANE

Hello Dead End Horror fans that like to fuck about on facebook and other social networking sites with fake profiles. Have you gotten a life yet? Will you ever? No. What’s poppin’ slimes? SO as you know or may not know, this week Sasha and I are all in on 1970's horror films. And believe me, we’ve seen some really weird shit this week. Like the movie I watched last night.

Anyone ever hear of, “Nude for Satan?” No? Holy shit! Let me tell you about this odd motherfuck of a movie. If you like lesbian play, hairy bush, and random dialogue that doesn’t mean shit, well this is the perfect film for you. 

Anyway, “Nude for Satan,” is a 1974 Italian gothic horror film directed by Paolo Solvay and it stars nobody you’ve ever heard of. It runs just over 80mins and it’s not rated. And yes, it is totally available on Netflix instant watch. So after you read this, you can totally watch it. That is if you don’t have jack shit going on.

Man, I don’t know where to start. I really have no clue what this film was about. All I can tell you is that a man and a woman end up in this weird, castle like place. From what I could tell, their doppelgangers live there along with a huge fake ass looking spider and the Devil. Oh yeah, and a bunch of naked chicks rocking the 1970's bush. What the what?  

Basically this movie is a bunch of random shit thrown together with some lesbian sex and nudity sprinkled in for good measure. What this film was trying to get across, I don’t know. More importantly, I don’t give a shit. I know that it like has a bunch of skin in it, but this movie was a total shit pile. Even for the 1970's. Like I get the whole sexploitation thing, and I’ve actually seen some good ones. This was not one.

I give this pile of fuck a 1 out of a possible 5. Again, my I.Q. might’ve dropped a bit from watching this thing. So if you’re already a retard, then by all means you can watch it and not worry about losing any of your already missing brain cells. But if you have an ounce of intellect left, stay away from this one.  

Well, I guess that’s all I got. Be sure and see what Sasha’s up to. Maybe her movie was better. SO until tomorrow, take care, stay a-scared, and I am out.

VAMPIRE BOX MUNCHERS AND WALKING CORPSES BY: ZOMBIE ZANE

Hello Dead End Horror fans that Tebow in front of the TV while praying that your team makes the winning 31 yard field goal. What’s good?  I don’t know about you, but I am fucking elated! After an up and down season, my New York Football Giants are heading to the motherfucking Super Bowl for a rematch with the shit heal New England Patriots. Fuck Brady and Fuck New England.

Anywho, since this is not a sports blog, I guess I better tell you what’s on tap for the week. Last week Sasha and I did slasher films. SO if you’re new to DEH I suggest you go and familiarize yourself with some of our old shit. If you’re into clit cutting and Willem Dafoe’s cock and balls, then you should be in hog heaven. But for real, we have some cool shit in out archives so don’t be shy, have yourself a look-see. 

So, for this week, I Sasha and I will be talking about horror films from the 1970's. Why? I’m not sure. It just sounded like a cool idea last week when we were thinking of shit to write about. So, seeing how I was busy today and didn’t really have the time to think of anything else, that’s what we’re sticking with.

Don’t be that way. There’s some cool motherfucking shit that came out of the 70's in the way of horror. What movies are we gonna review you ask? Well my little minion, you’re just gonna have to come back daily and see. Shit, if I told you what movies we were gonna talk about and you thought they sucked, why you wouldn’t come and visit us. So no way, Jackson. You’ll have to come back to see.

One more thing, I’m gonna throw in a book review this week as well. It has not a goddamn thang to do with 70's horror but what the what. I can do as I please. Our blog. Our rules. But, no, I’m gonna be reviewing the book, “Offspring” by Jack Ketchum. I think I may have done the movie as well. Can’t remember right off hand. But in any case, I’ll be doing that. 

Well, I guess that’s all the news that I got for now. I’m gonna crack a cold one and continue to celebrate my Giants victory. And I know that this is not a sports blog, but a very melancholy happy trails to one of the greatest coaches of all time. Joe Pa, you will be missed. And to those who called for his head after those unfortunate incidents that occurred earlier in the year, I got one thing to say to you, Fuck off outta here. Like he did what he thought was best. If that ain’t good enough for you, piss off. 

Okay, sorry. I rambled. But on that note, until next time, take care, stay a-scared and I am out. C-ya on the flip side motherfuckers. This is Zombie Zane signing off.

TURKEY IN THE STRAW HE HE HAW! TURKEY IN THE HAY YOU ARE GAY! by ZOMBIE ZANE

Hello Dead End Horror fans that eat beanie weenies in your free time while contemplating all the injustices that the world has brought you. What’s good? I don’t know about you guys, but I am glad the weekend is here! Sunday is gonna be huge! After some crotch kicking early on in the season, my New York Giants are one fucking game away from the Super Bowl. GO BIG BLUE!

Okay, I’ll stop. Not a sports blog. So since this ain’t a sports blog, I guess I better get to today’s shit. This week we’ve been all about slasher movies. We’ve done lists, we’ve done some reviews, and it’s been fun. So if you haven’t read our posts this week, go back through and check them out.

Anywho, for today I’m gonna give you my take on the 2008 slasher film, “Carver.” Have you seen it yet? No? By the way, before I get into this, I wanna tell you that this little gem was based on true events. Knowing that now, makes this movie even cooler.

So like I said, “Carver” is a 2008 American horror film directed by Franklin Guerrero Jr and written by him as well. It stars Natasha Charles Parker, Erik Fones, and Matt Carmody. It runs just over 95mins and is of course rated R.

Basically the movie is about a group of youngsters who decide to hiking in the small town of Halcyon Ridge. So I know you know where this is going. Group of kids, hiking, woods, and of course one Bobby Shaw Carter. Who, pretty much hunts them down and kills them one by one. Told ya, it’s the same plot as all the other slasher movies. But this one is kinda fun. Plus they play a really whacked out song throughout the film. Here, listen to it....

See! Funny! But back to the movie. Yeah, I liked this one. Plenty of gore, nudity, killing, humor, all in all every element was present. FUCK ME! I can’t type tonight!! Sorry. That was a mini burst of frustration. But for real, I give this little slasher film a solid 3 out of 5.

Like I said, not the most original plot but then again, how many slasher films are original? But so go and check it out. It’s available on Netflix instant watch so head on over and give it try. And be sure to check out some of our other shit as well. So on behalf of the busty and always muffin craving Sasha Slaughter, this is Zombie Zane saying goodbye and have a great weekend. GO BIG BLUE!