LET'S ALL STRIP NAKED FOR THE DEVIL BY ZOMBIE ZANE

Hello Dead End Horror fans that like to fuck about on facebook and other social networking sites with fake profiles. Have you gotten a life yet? Will you ever? No. What’s poppin’ slimes? SO as you know or may not know, this week Sasha and I are all in on 1970's horror films. And believe me, we’ve seen some really weird shit this week. Like the movie I watched last night.

Anyone ever hear of, “Nude for Satan?” No? Holy shit! Let me tell you about this odd motherfuck of a movie. If you like lesbian play, hairy bush, and random dialogue that doesn’t mean shit, well this is the perfect film for you. 

Anyway, “Nude for Satan,” is a 1974 Italian gothic horror film directed by Paolo Solvay and it stars nobody you’ve ever heard of. It runs just over 80mins and it’s not rated. And yes, it is totally available on Netflix instant watch. So after you read this, you can totally watch it. That is if you don’t have jack shit going on.

Man, I don’t know where to start. I really have no clue what this film was about. All I can tell you is that a man and a woman end up in this weird, castle like place. From what I could tell, their doppelgangers live there along with a huge fake ass looking spider and the Devil. Oh yeah, and a bunch of naked chicks rocking the 1970's bush. What the what?  

Basically this movie is a bunch of random shit thrown together with some lesbian sex and nudity sprinkled in for good measure. What this film was trying to get across, I don’t know. More importantly, I don’t give a shit. I know that it like has a bunch of skin in it, but this movie was a total shit pile. Even for the 1970's. Like I get the whole sexploitation thing, and I’ve actually seen some good ones. This was not one.

I give this pile of fuck a 1 out of a possible 5. Again, my I.Q. might’ve dropped a bit from watching this thing. So if you’re already a retard, then by all means you can watch it and not worry about losing any of your already missing brain cells. But if you have an ounce of intellect left, stay away from this one.  

Well, I guess that’s all I got. Be sure and see what Sasha’s up to. Maybe her movie was better. SO until tomorrow, take care, stay a-scared, and I am out.

VAMPIRE BOX MUNCHERS AND WALKING CORPSES BY: ZOMBIE ZANE

Hello Dead End Horror fans that Tebow in front of the TV while praying that your team makes the winning 31 yard field goal. What’s good?  I don’t know about you, but I am fucking elated! After an up and down season, my New York Football Giants are heading to the motherfucking Super Bowl for a rematch with the shit heal New England Patriots. Fuck Brady and Fuck New England.

Anywho, since this is not a sports blog, I guess I better tell you what’s on tap for the week. Last week Sasha and I did slasher films. SO if you’re new to DEH I suggest you go and familiarize yourself with some of our old shit. If you’re into clit cutting and Willem Dafoe’s cock and balls, then you should be in hog heaven. But for real, we have some cool shit in out archives so don’t be shy, have yourself a look-see. 

So, for this week, I Sasha and I will be talking about horror films from the 1970's. Why? I’m not sure. It just sounded like a cool idea last week when we were thinking of shit to write about. So, seeing how I was busy today and didn’t really have the time to think of anything else, that’s what we’re sticking with.

Don’t be that way. There’s some cool motherfucking shit that came out of the 70's in the way of horror. What movies are we gonna review you ask? Well my little minion, you’re just gonna have to come back daily and see. Shit, if I told you what movies we were gonna talk about and you thought they sucked, why you wouldn’t come and visit us. So no way, Jackson. You’ll have to come back to see.

One more thing, I’m gonna throw in a book review this week as well. It has not a goddamn thang to do with 70's horror but what the what. I can do as I please. Our blog. Our rules. But, no, I’m gonna be reviewing the book, “Offspring” by Jack Ketchum. I think I may have done the movie as well. Can’t remember right off hand. But in any case, I’ll be doing that. 

Well, I guess that’s all the news that I got for now. I’m gonna crack a cold one and continue to celebrate my Giants victory. And I know that this is not a sports blog, but a very melancholy happy trails to one of the greatest coaches of all time. Joe Pa, you will be missed. And to those who called for his head after those unfortunate incidents that occurred earlier in the year, I got one thing to say to you, Fuck off outta here. Like he did what he thought was best. If that ain’t good enough for you, piss off. 

Okay, sorry. I rambled. But on that note, until next time, take care, stay a-scared and I am out. C-ya on the flip side motherfuckers. This is Zombie Zane signing off.