TURKEY IN THE STRAW HE HE HAW! TURKEY IN THE HAY YOU ARE GAY! by ZOMBIE ZANE

Hello Dead End Horror fans that eat beanie weenies in your free time while contemplating all the injustices that the world has brought you. What’s good? I don’t know about you guys, but I am glad the weekend is here! Sunday is gonna be huge! After some crotch kicking early on in the season, my New York Giants are one fucking game away from the Super Bowl. GO BIG BLUE!

Okay, I’ll stop. Not a sports blog. So since this ain’t a sports blog, I guess I better get to today’s shit. This week we’ve been all about slasher movies. We’ve done lists, we’ve done some reviews, and it’s been fun. So if you haven’t read our posts this week, go back through and check them out.

Anywho, for today I’m gonna give you my take on the 2008 slasher film, “Carver.” Have you seen it yet? No? By the way, before I get into this, I wanna tell you that this little gem was based on true events. Knowing that now, makes this movie even cooler.

So like I said, “Carver” is a 2008 American horror film directed by Franklin Guerrero Jr and written by him as well. It stars Natasha Charles Parker, Erik Fones, and Matt Carmody. It runs just over 95mins and is of course rated R.

Basically the movie is about a group of youngsters who decide to hiking in the small town of Halcyon Ridge. So I know you know where this is going. Group of kids, hiking, woods, and of course one Bobby Shaw Carter. Who, pretty much hunts them down and kills them one by one. Told ya, it’s the same plot as all the other slasher movies. But this one is kinda fun. Plus they play a really whacked out song throughout the film. Here, listen to it....

See! Funny! But back to the movie. Yeah, I liked this one. Plenty of gore, nudity, killing, humor, all in all every element was present. FUCK ME! I can’t type tonight!! Sorry. That was a mini burst of frustration. But for real, I give this little slasher film a solid 3 out of 5.

Like I said, not the most original plot but then again, how many slasher films are original? But so go and check it out. It’s available on Netflix instant watch so head on over and give it try. And be sure to check out some of our other shit as well. So on behalf of the busty and always muffin craving Sasha Slaughter, this is Zombie Zane saying goodbye and have a great weekend. GO BIG BLUE!

LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND SCREAM CAUSE YOU UGLY! BY: SASHA SLAUGHTER

Aww yeahhh!!! Guess who, bitches?? Ding ding ding, you're right! It's me...Sasha Slaughter with you for the final time this week to bring you one last review, in honor of slasher week. Today I'll be telling you about a little film called Scream. Oh yeah! And oldie but a goodie right? It's the probably the ultimate slasher, don't you agree? Scream was written by Kevin Williamson and directed by none other than Wes Craven. Scream was developed under the title Scary Movie, but was ultimately changed by Bob Wesnstein of Dimension films. At first, Craven felt the that title change was "stupid", but eventually remarked that the name change was a good idea, and that Weinstein was wise to change the title. And Scream was partly based on the real- life case of the Gainesville Ripper. Who knew? So even though you may have seen Scream already, I'll tell you about it anyway.

Scream follows the character of Sidney Prescott, a high school student in the town of Woodsboro, who becomes the target of a mysterious killer known as Ghostface. The infamous first scene is that of Casey Becker, who receives a flirtatious phone call from an unknown man, asking her what "What's your favorite scary movie?". The situation turns deadly when the caller threatens Casey's life. He reveals to her that her boyfriend Steve is being held hostage, and after she refuses to cooperate with the killer, Steve is killed. Casey is then attacked and murdered, and her body is hung from a tree. The next day, the media descends upon the town and a police investigation begins. Meanwhile, Sidney Prescott struggles with the one year anniversary of her mother's murder by Cotton Weary. While Sidney waits for her friend Tatum, she gets a threatening phone call. After she hangs up, she is attacked by the killer. Her boyfriend Billy shows up and offers support, but drops his cell phone, and Sidney suspects him of making the call.

Billy is arrested and released the next day. But then suspicion has shifted to Sidney's father, Neil Prescott, because the calls were traced to his phone. Due to the murders, school is closed for the time being, and Billy's friend Stu decides to throw a party to celebrate the closing of the school. That's when the killing begins. Sidney's friend Tatum is killed when her neck is crushed by a garage door, and Sidney and her boyfriend are attacked by the killer, with her boyfriend seemingly murdered. Meanwhile reporter Gale Weathers and officer Dewey discover a car that belongs to Neil Prescott and are convinced that he went to the party to continue his killing spree. Dewey goes to investigate the house and is stabbed in back. Sidney goes to the house and takes Dewey's gun when Stu and Randy appear, accusing each other of being the killer. Billy admits to being the killer, and Stu admits to being his accomplice.

And we all know how the rest ends right? I mean, you've seen it yes? If not, get out from underneath that rock! Yeesh! Anyway, this is for sure a classic whodunnit slasher. It's complete with murder, blood, and bit of comedy thrown in for good measure. If you haven't seen it, I suggest that you go ahead and give it a watch. Overall I'd give Scream a 3 out of 5. It's a pretty good film, and the acting is good too. Originally, some of the scenes were cut due to graphic content, and the film was rated NC-17 due to violence and gore. One of the most significant problems was the blood. According to the MPAA, blood could not be seen in motion, falling to the floor from a body. WHAT? That's stupid right? But it turns out that Craven was actually allowed to keep almost of the original scenes in Scream. Awesome! The film won multiple awards including best film, best actress, best horror film, and best movie, among many others. This is just your classic slasher and I still watch it when I see it on TV. While you're here, stop by and see what Zane is doing! You'll be glad you did. Thanks for stopping by!

KNIVES, DRILLS, & NUDITY BY: ZOMBIE ZANE

Hello Dead End Horror fans that grab crotches and dry hump the air until you nut in your undies. What’s good my notoriously bad at math friends? So as you know or may not know, this week Sasha and I are talking about slasher films. Hold all applause please.

So being a fan of these type of films, I thought it would be a good idea to list 10 of my favorite slasher movies. Now understand this, I’m gonna shy away from the most obvious ones. Like I’m gonna leave out, ‘Halloween,’ ‘Friday 13th’ etc. etc. Like we’ve all seen those so fuck it man. I just wanted to give you a little something different. I may throw in like one mainstream movie, but I doubt it. So, enough foreplay, let’s get to the list, yes?

ZOMBIE ZANE’S 10 SLASHER MOVIES THAT AREN’T NAMED HALLOWEEN OR FRIDAY 13th 

10.  Psycho (1960) Probably the first ever slasher film. It has all of the elements. Crazy dude stabbing people with a butcher knife. Plus it has one of the most iconic kill scenes of all time.  

9.  American Psycho (2000) This is one kick-ass film! If you haven’t seen it yet, leave now and go watch it. It’s got blood, killing, nudity, sex, drugs, what more do you want? 

8.  April Fool’s Day (1986) Quirky, kinda funny, but all in all a good film. I wasn’t sure about putting this on the list, but what the fuck it made the cut. 

7.  Candyman (1992) I said no mainstream, but I couldn’t resist. One of my all time favorite movies. Tony Todd is a bad motherfucker! His voice alone will make you shit your pants. 

6.  Dr. Giggles (1992) This really is an odd film. But the kill scenes are rather amusing. I mean what’s not to like about a deranged dentist?  

5.  High Tension (2003) Also known as ‘Haute Tension,’ this is one bad mamma jamma! The opening few minutes are uber nasty! Plus this thing is rated NC-17. A must watch. 

4.  Slumber Party Massacre (1982) Classic 80's slasher film. It’s got some funny shit in it, so obviously it doesn’t get taken to seriously. But it’s still all kinds of fun. 

3.  Suspiria (1977) This bad boy is directed by Dario Argento. Which, if you remember we’ve talked about him on here before. Now this isn’t you’re typical slasher film, but still it’s good. 

2.  Sleepaway Camp (1983) Another one of my favorite films. A must see! All I’m gonna say here is, Angela....Egads! 

1.  The Driller Killer (1979) I saw this a while back. It actually came in one of my ‘bargain buy’ movie packs. Worth a watch, typical 1970's grainy kind look to it. But good fun.

Well, there you are. 10 slasher movies not named “Halloween” or “Friday 13th.” That was neato, huh? Anyway, be sure and see what Sasha is up to. I’m sure she’s up to something. So, until next time, take care, stay a-scared and I am out!

NEVER TRUST A HITCHHIKER By: SASHA SLAUGHTER

Ughh! Did I ever tell you how gross you are? Yeah, you...you know who you are.. looking up gross stuff. We love it! haha. You're nastiness keeps us going, so thanks! Yes it is yours truly, Sasha Slaughter, and you're in for yet another day of pure unadulterated awesomeness. And since this is slasher week, I'll be telling you about a movie titled The Hitcher. It is a remake of the 1986 film of the same title. The Hitcher was directed by Dave Myers and written by Jake Wade Wall and Eric Bernt. The film was released January 19, 2007 and debuted at number four at the box office. Five weeks after it's release, The Hitcher was pulled from most screens due to it's poor performance and bad reviews. Now let me tell you what it's all about.

A young couple named Jim and Grace are on the road for Spring break when they come across a demented hitchhiker known only as John Ryder. It all begins when Ryder is standing by his broken down car at the edge of the road. Jim nearly hits the man and his car spins out of control. Grace insists that they don't pick him up because someone else will stop, so they speed off and don't look back. Further down the road, Jim spots Ryder climbing out of a tractor-trailer cab while getting gas. Ryder introduces himself and asks Jim for a ride. Jim hesitates at first but reluctantly agrees. As soon as John Ryder gets in the car, things turn violent. Ryder holds a knife to Grace's throat and and tells Jim that the only way to save himself and Grace is to say "I want to die". Jim refuses and instead slams on the breaks, causing Ryder to hit his head on the windshield. He then speeds up, while kicking Ryder repeatedly, while Grace opens the door and throws him out.

Shortly after, while riding down the road, they encounter Ryder again. This time is he is in a station wagon with a family, apparently hitchhiking. Jim and Grace try to warn the family, but they are run off the road by an oncoming vehicle, which totals Jim's car. The couple is forced to travel on foot as they fear for their lives and try to stay hidden from John Ryder. A short distance down the road, they find the station wagon that Ryder was in and discover that the mother and children are dead, and that the father is dying slowly. Jim decides to take their car to the nearest town for help. Ryder appears in a stolen truck and tries to run them off the road. They finally get into town and when the locals see the dead family in the car, they immediately suspect that Grace and Jim committed the murders. The town Sheriff is called and Jim and Grace are arrested.

While being questioned, Ryder shows up at the station and kills everyone except Grace and Jim, who flee on foot. The couple arrive at a junkyard and are soon found by the lone surviving cop from the station. As she tries to negotiate with the officer, he is shot in the head by Ryder. Grace and Jim steal a police cruiser and try to explain to the cops that they haven't killed anyone, and that someone is after them, trying to kill them. Soon after, John Ryder shows up and single handedly takes down all of the police cruisers and one helicopter, thus helping Grace and Jim escape, for the time being. He eventually catches up with Jim and Grace again at a motel, where he kidnaps Jim. He ties him between a truck and a trailer and steps slowly on the gas, badly hurting him. Grace finds Jim tied up and goes to the cab of the truck and points a gun at Ryder, telling him to stop the truck. Ryder revs up the truck and stomps on the gas pedal, splitting Jim in half at the waist. But Ryder's rampage has only just begun. He'll stop at nothing to make sure that Grace dies, and will kill anyone that gets in his way.

What a mean mean man! Geez. I think that guy needs a hug from his mom! Anyway, this was a decent film, I've never seen the original, so I can't really compare the two. The Hitcher got alot of negative reviews from people. 19% of critics on Rotten Tomatoes gave the film positive reviews, with the consensus that the film is "interested in cheap shocks and gratuitous gore and torture". Uhhh isn't that what slasher/horror films are about? Others have said that it is absolutely inferior to the original and that it's not worth a watch. I don't know about all that. There's plenty of blood, a crazed hitchhiker killing people with whatever he can find...guns, a truck, knives. It's awesome! I think overall I'd give The Hitcher a 3 out of 5. It may or may not be better than the original, I don't know, but it was a decent film. There was a good big of gore, the shock factor was good, and the acting was decent too. I'd probably watch it again. Now that I've told you about that, how about you go and see what Zane's got going on? And while you're there, ask if he's had any NB lately! Thanks for stopping by!

EVERYONE ENJOYS A GOOD SLASHER By: SASHA SLAUGHTER

Well hey there DEH fans that are obsessed with the mutilation of lady parts! Sickos. Yes, it is time once again to have your socks rocked by Zane and I. Can't wait! Although I am sad to report that we won't be talking about the severing of female fun bits. Sorry! We will be talking about slasher films though! Yay! Much better than brutality to the hoo-ha, don't ya think? I do. Anyway, today I'll be giving you a list of my five favorite slasher films. So let's get to it shall we?

5.) HATCHET(2007)- A group of tourists decide to take a haunted swamp tour, and ultimately choose a very new and inexperienced tour guide. Along the way, the group meets a homeless swamp dweller that warns them to stay away from the swamp. Their guide leads them past several abandoned houses, one of which Victor Crowley supposedly lived. Their guide Shawn, tells them about how Victor Crowley's dad went crazy one night and hit him in the face with a hatched while looking at "ghost lights". Marybeth, one of the tourists, reveals that she is the sister and daughter of two people that vanished on one of the tours that Shawn was giving. She tells the real story of Victor Crowley, and how one Halloween a group of kids threw fireworks into his home, and it caught on fire. Victor's dad was trying to use a hatchet to break down the door and accidentally hit Victor in the face. He died from his injuries and she tells them she believes his spirit is back for revenge, and will kill anyone who enters the swamp.

4.) BLACK CHRISTMAS (2006)- Billy Lenz escapes from a mental intuition in 2006 , after being put there in 1991 for disfiguring his sister and brutally murdering his mother and step father (And making cookies from his mothers flesh too). He escapes and begins taunting girls in a Sorority house. He calls the girls and threatens to kill them. Soon after, the girls start dying one by one. When there are only two girls left, Billy and his sister Agnes introduce themselves and attempt to kill the remaining Sorority sisters.

3.) TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE (2003)- Archive footage is played of officers investigating the Hewitt home. The officers notice fingernail marks, and human blood and hair embedded into the walls. In 1973 a group of friends on on their way to a Lynard Skynard concert, having just come from Mexico. They meet a distraught hitchhiker who shoots herself in their van, and the group tries to contact the police. They keep getting different stories as to where the sheriff may be. Erin and Kemper go into the woods in search of the house. They find a plantation house deep in the woods and only Erin is allowed to enter and call for help. Tired of waiting, Kemper goes into the house and is attacked by Leatherface, who hits him with a sledgehammer. Eventually Erin's friends are killed and she is kidnapped by the Hewitt family. She tries to escape and avoid the wrath of Thomas "Leatherface" Hewitt and his twisted family.

2.) WRONG TURN (2003)- Medical student Chris Flynn is forced to take a different route on his way to a job interview and ends up in a secluded part of the mountains of West Virginia. He crashes into an SUV parked in the middle of the road. The group of friends tell him they are on a hiking trip and that their tires were punctured by barbed wire on the road. Jessie, Carly, Scott, and Chris decide to go and look for help. They discover a an isolated cabin and go inside for help. In the cabin, the discover various human body parts and miscellaneous objects. The occupants of the cabin return home and the group is forced to hide while three terribly disfigured men enter the cabin. The group notices that one of the men is dragging their friend Francine's body on ground and can only watch in horror as the men butcher and eat her. The group eventually escapes the cabin, but not before the one of them wakes up and sees them leaving. It's a cat and mouse game as Jessie, Carly, Chris, and Scott try desperately to escape the backwoods cannibals.

1.) HALLOWEEN (1978)- On Halloween day in 1963 in the Midwestern town of Haddonfield, Illinois, six year old Michael Myers murders his sister by stabbing her with a kitchen knife. He is then sent to Smith's Grove Sanitarium where he is placed under the care of Doctor Samuel Loomis. Michael soon enters a state of catatonia, and remains that way for fifteen years. Loomis arrives to take Michael to a court hearing when Michael escapes and steals Loomis's car and makes his way back to Haddonfield. Loomis follows Michael, attempting for prevent him from killing again. Teenager Laurie Strode begins to see Michael everywhere, like he is stalking her. Loomis is afraid that Michael will kill again, and stops at nothing to prevent him from doing so.

Nothing like a good slasher, right? I think so too! Anyway, those are a few of my favorites. There are a ton of awesome slasher movies, and I'll be reviewing a few for you this week. Awesome! I'm usually a new school kind of person, but the original Halloween was one of absolute favorites. It's so damn creepy. I love it! But not as much as I love muffins...oh wait..never mind that. =) So anyway, since you're here, don't forget to stop by and check on your good pal Zombie Zane. He'll be giving you a little rundown of what we're doing this week, in case you're curious. And as always,  thanks for stopping by Dead End Horror.

NAW, BITCH! IT'S A FUCKING KNIFE BY: ZOMBIE ZANE

Hello Dead End Horror fans that call boobs bullets and think that babies are stupid. What’s good? Anyway, this here post is out a little late. Why? Because I’ve been fucking busy that’s why! I joke, I kid. But better late than never, yes?

So, this week Sasha and I have decided to pay homage to one of the oldest genres in the horror world. Slasher films! Like everyone enjoys a good slasher movie, right? You’ve seen good ones, you’ve seen bad ones but the fucking point is, they are just down right fun. From their predictable plot to the scared, naked chick running and falling down on her face as the killer nears, ya just gotta love ‘em. 

Anywho, this week I’m gonna be giving you a nice little list of my favorite slasher films, and I’ll be reviewing a couple of movies as well. Sasha will follow suit and do the same. Before I forget, next week I’m gonna be reviewing a book. That’s right motherfuckers, I can read! I ain’t a ‘tard contrary to popular belief.

But for real, I’m gonna be talking about one of Jack Ketchum’s books, ‘Offspring.’ I’m sure that most of yous guys are familiar with the movie as well. Umm...I guess that’s all I got for your ass’ today. Be sure and check back tomorrow as the lovely, busty, Sasha ‘I can’t have it’ Slaughter bestows upon you her list of some of her favorite slasher films. 

So until the next time we meet, take care, stay a-scared and I am out! C-ya on the flip side motherfucker.