OH HOT DAMN! By: SASHA SLAUGHTER

How's it going creeps?? Sasha Slaughter here with you for the final time this week, and I've decided to go with the "series girl" thing again. That's right, today I'll be telling you a little about Masters of Horror season 2 episode 1: The Damned Thing...ooooh! It was written by Richard Christian Matheson and directed by none other than Tobe Hooper. The Damned Thing was inspired by Ambrose Bierce's classic short-story of the same title. So let me tell you a little more about it.

The Damned Thing is an apocalyptic story of a monstrous force that devastates Sheriff Kevin Reddle's family and his small town of Cloverdale. As a child back in 1981, Kevin witnessed his father going insane and shooting his mother, before almost being killed himself.  But before his father can kill him,  Kevin watches in horror as he is disemboweled by an invisible force. Before Kevin's father is killed, he says aloud that the "damned thing" has found him.

Fast forward twenty-four years later to the small town of Cloverdale. Kevin is the town sheriff living in his childhood home where his mother was slaughtered. Due to extreme paranoia, Kevin has mounted surveillance and video camera's throughout the house and on the property. Kevin's wife Dina, decided to leave Kevin and take their young son Mikey with them because of the mental strain his paranoia causes. With the weather starting to turn violent, and people not feeling well, Kevin fears that the thing that killed his father is on it's way to kill him too. The normally peaceful town of Cloverdale quickly turns violent as people being going insane and killing themselves, and one another.

Kevin kept a "dream box" of his fathers and one night decides to pick the lock. Upon opening it he finds nothing, but then realizes there is something under the lid. He opens the lid and finds articles about a town named Sturgis that was plagued by the same madness after opening an oil well that had quickly dried up. Many of the citizens killed each other, with the total body count reaching 208, and Kevin's parents were among those who survived and fled the city.

Madness begins to sweep over the sleepy town of Cloverdale and even Kevin's peaceful wife Dina is not immune. He walks into her and her son's home shortly before Dina tries to kill their son. He stops her and she snaps out of it. They decide to go back to Kevin's home to be safe. Upon arrival, Kevin realizes that some of the towns people have taken shelter in his home because they are afraid of the mayhem that is happening outside. He locks them in the basement and tells them it's the safest place for them to be. Dina and Mikey hide upstairs while Kevin figures out what to do. But soon enough, Kevin begins to succumb to the evil that has been searching for him all these years.

Oooh supernatural creep! What ever could be destroying the town of Cloverdale? Well if you really wanna know, check out Masters of Horror: The Damned Thing. Now, lend me your ear and I'll tell you what I thought about it. The beginning scene was amazing. I'm talking a gory death scene within the first four minutes. And by gory I mean GORY! The dude shot his wife in the chest and then in the stomach...her intestines came out and there was guts...It was awesome! And from there, it kind of slowed down a little. It feels like the story was almost rushed a little to make the 60 minute time slot, and it didn't really explain a whole lot. Like, there was something about oil wells and drilling....what??? I didn't get it! 

And this really bizarre scene with this guy telling himself a dirty joke before killing himself with a....Ohh I won't give it away, but it didn't really seem like it belonged in the episode. I will say though that there were a good bit of killing scenes and a damn good amount of blood and gore. I mean, the guy that was pretty much getting disemboweled at the beginning?? All I can say is GROSS!!! ahhh! And the priest character really got on my nerves. He was so mean and in every one's business, and was really condescending to people. I thought priests were supposed to be all Godly and nice?? Well this one was an asshole. And a totally unbelievable one at that.

Ok, and the deputy and his stupid cartoon drawings?? What was that?? It was a total waste of time if you ask me. They could have spent the time explaining the story and developing it. Instead they wasted it on deputy dumb ass and his cartoon rat. Suck it. And another thing, like I said, the first scene was amazing and I was excited that maybe the rest of the episode would be just as explosive. I was wrong. Some of the story and scenes were kind of inconsistent. Overall I'd give The Damned Thing a 2.5 out of 5. If they would have taken more time to explain things and develop the plot, it could have been better. 

The only reason I gave it a 2.5 was the death scenes and the copious amounts of blood and gore. Ohh and lastly, my one final complaint...When you finally get a glimpse of the "Damned Thing" prepare for disappointment. They build you up and make you think "Oh man, this is gonna be scary". I think not. It looked like a giant CGI cartoon that made dinosaur noises. F that noise. Well now, since I'm done yammering, go on and see what Zane's up to! Thanks for stopping by.

HIT THE ROAD BITCH BY: ZOMBIE ZANE

Hey there Dead End Horror sheep that stay up all night trying to figure out what came first the chicken or the motherfucking egg. What’s good, slime? Me, I’m just kicking back eating some brunch and doing what I do best. What do I do best you ask? Simple. Nothing! Ha! But whatever. How about we get to today’s shit, yes?

For today, I’m gonna be doing a little something different. I usually talk about movies, or top ten lists, or some shit like that. But today, today I’m going to be reviewing a book that I just read. And yes, I can read. Shocking ain’t it. And get this...I like it! There’s another shocker! But whatever. I thought I’d use today’s post to review, “The Road.” Ever heard of it? I do know that it’s a movie as well, but I haven’t seen it. So no more foreplay, let me tell you about this book.

“The Road” was written by Pulitzer Prize author Cormac McCarthy. I’d never heard of this dude before. But as I was flipping through those first few pages before the story starts, I found out that he also wrote, No Country For Old Men and All The Pretty Horses. (lame) So there ya go. Other than that, I didn’t recognize shit else.

Anywho, this book is set in a postapocalyptic world. It revolves around a father and his son. Basically there’s like not many people left on Earth. And the ones that are left, most of them are like all ragged out cannibals. No shit. Some of the survivors like hunt for others and when they catch them, they straight up boil ‘em and eat ‘em. So there’s some pretty intense shit going on.

So like the father and son are just walking. Walking and trying to survive. Really, that’s all this book is about. I mean there’s like that father loves his son dynamic theme but other than that, this book just paints a pretty bleak picture. It’s quite depressing actually. Makes me so sad I could fart.

But, no, it’s not a bad book. Especially if you like that whole postapocalyptic thing. I do. It’s a good story and it keeps you interested. I mean it’s a page turner. But BEWARE! It’s not an easy read. Some of the way this dude describes shit, is like what the what? I mean it’s like the dude just opened a thesaurus and started picking giant words. It’s kind of pretentious. (See what I did there? I used a big word, too!) But Whatever. I mean it’s a good read but I could’ve done without all the over descriptive shit, ya know. I mean I get it. I think he wrote the word cold like 2000 times.

And I wish he would’ve like gone into more detail about how the world got like it was in the book. That and I would’ve liked to read more about the cannibals. That shit’s cool. But all in all I give ‘The Road” a solid 2.75 out of 5. It isn’t a ‘must read’ but it’s worth giving it a try. Not sure I’d watch the movie though. Like I might if I were to catch it on like HBO or some shit. But I’m not going out of my way to find it. I’ll let find me.

So, I guess that’s all the news that’s fit to print. Be sure and see what the busty Sasha Slaughter has going on. She may be trying to capture an elf. Who knows. But until next time, take care, stay a-scared and I am out! Peace peace and don’t stain your sheets grease!

BEWARE THE WENDIGO By: SASHA SLAUGHTER

Well hi there weirdos! Thanks for stopping by today and checking us out! If you read Zane's post on Monday, then you'd know that this month we'll be sprinkling in some Christmas themed horror movies as opposed to just throwing them at you all at once. Let's be honest, I don't think you could handle all of the awesomeness at once =)

So today I thought I'd do my "series girl" thing and tell you a little about Fear Itself episode 8- Skin and Bones. In case you haven't been reading (you damn well better be) or you are a new reader, Fear Itself debuted on NBC in the summer of 2008. It's a horror anthology series created by Mick Garris. Only the first eight episodes were aired on television and the other five went straight to DVD, although they had already been produced. So let me tell you a little more about Skin and Bones.

Grady, a rural ranch owner, goes out on a hunting trip with friends in the cold lonely mountains. His brother Rowdy has been tending to the ranch in his absence. When ten days have passed with no word from Grady or the men he ventured into the mountains with, Rowdy and Grady's wife Elena begin to worry. Rowdy is preparing to ride back out into the woods when he looks out the window and sees Grady staggering toward the house. 

He and Eddie Bear, a Native American who lives with the family and cares for the ranch, rush out to help Grady. When they get him inside they realize he is injured and suffering from severe frostbite. Later that night after they get him settled into bed, the family realizes that he doesn't like the same as he did when he first arrived. His face is sunken in and he looks very sick and malnourished.

Later that night after everyone is asleep, Rowdy and Eddie Bear hear strange noises coming from the horse stables. They rush out to find one of their horses, lying on the ground slaughtered. Eddie Bear glances up and sees Grady in the window staring down and grinning wickedly. The next day Eddie Bear talks to Grady, because he believes he knows what is ailing him. He tells Grady the tale of the day his uncle disappeared into the mountains for two weeks. 

He tells him that his uncle appeared out of nowhere, looking very much the way Grady does now. Grady takes offense to the story and Eddie Bear leaves. Eddie meets up with Rowdy and tells him the same story as the one told to Grady. He tells Rowdy that he believes Grady has been possessed by a Wendigo (A mythical creature appearing in mythology of the Algonquian people. It is a malevolent and cannibalistic spirit that can possess any human.)

Later that night Elena goes to check on Grady when he wakes up and speaks to her as the real Grady may have and explains what happened to him in the mountains. He tells her there was something whispering in his ear and in his head saying to him "I can save you...let me in". He says the voice instructed him to eat and he admits to eating the last hunter that stayed with him. Elena, visibly shaken, tries to exit the room slowly, but Grady moves behind her and appears to try to eat her. Rowdy intervenes and pulls a shotgun on Grady and tells him to let her go. 

Eddie Bear walks up the stairs to try and find Grady, but is then quickly killed. Rowdy comes up the stairs to find Eddie Bear dying, and before he dies Eddie Bear tells him that Grady will eat all of them. He finds Grady lying in bed, pretending to be too sick to move. Grady guilt trips him into lowering his weapon, which gives him enough time to kill Rowdy. Elena hears the shot from the barn and attempts to take her children and leave. Grady stops her and drags her into the kitchen. He puts Rowdy's body onto the table and...

Well ok then! I suggest that you check out Fear Itself: Skin and Bones either on DVD or on Netflix. I think this one was of my favorite episodes! Skin and Bones and The Eater are tied for first place. They were both equally gory and creepy. The plot was great, being based on a Native American legend of the Wendigo. 

I've never heard of it, but it is actually a real thing. The guy that was possessed by the Wendigo was soo sickly and strange looking!! Each time he ate someone and got more powerful, his facial features changed more drastically. I thought the acting was superb. I wish that the episode was longer though. It felt like it could have been, and the ending kind of leaves you hanging, wondering whats going to happen next.

Overall I'd give Skin and Bones a 4 out of 5. Like I said, the acting was great, the plot was great...everything about it was great! There was a good deal of gore and blood. And of course, this wouldn't be an episode about a cannibalistic demon without some good 'ol cannibalism right? I won't spoil it for you, you just have to see for yourself. 

I would recommend this episode to you freaks out there that enjoy a good scare, or being creeped out. This is by far one of the best episodes from Fear Itself that I've seen. And I'd probably watch it again...and again..and...you get the idea. So that's all I have to say about that! While you're here, don't forget to stop over and see what Zane's got going on. Thanks for stopping by!

BANG BANG! YOU'RE DEAD! By: SASHA SLAUGHTER

Well hello there blog stalkers!! Sasha Slaughter here with you, and yes, Zane and I are back...did you miss us?? Sure you did! We hope you enjoyed your Thanksgiving, your food coma and we really hope you enjoyed lounging in your sheep pants (Wait, that was me...oops!). It's back to business as usual at DEH, and that means that we'll be bringing you some more mind blowing awesomeness, we're professionals, it's what we do! 

Now that Thanksgiving is over, we've got yet another holiday looming over our heads...Christmas! And in the spirit of the holiday season, I'll be telling you about a movie called Dead End. It takes place right around Christmas, so it's the perfect way to start the season, no? Dead End was released in 2003 and was written and directed by Jean-Baptiste Andrea and Fabrice Canepa. Dead End is a French film that was made in the USA. So , let me tell you about the movie.

On Christmas Eve, Frank Harrington and his family are driving through California for their annual trip to Frank's Mother in Law's house. Frank decides to take a different route through the forest to get to their destination. While driving, Frank falls asleep at the wheel and almost crashes into another car going the opposite direction. Shortly after, Frank sees a woman in white with a baby walking in the forest. He decides to turn around and look for her but doesn't find her. 

He looks once more and the woman in white appears at the car window and he invites her and her baby into the car. Frank's daughter Marion, who can't take the family fighting anymore, gives up her seat to the woman and decides to walk instead. The family tries to talk to the woman, but she doesn't respond. Frank finds a roadside cabin and decides to stop and see if he can get help. Frank and his wife Laura enter the cabin, leaving Marion's boyfriend Brad alone with the woman in the car.

The woman begins talking to Brad and eventually reveals that the baby she is holding is dead. Brad then screams, and when Frank and Laura return to the car, Brad and the woman are gone. The rest of the family begins looking for him, and while Marion is walking down the road she sees Brad in the back window of a black hearse which drives by slowly. Marion finds her parents to tell them that Brad has been taken, and they go to find him. They are quickly forced to stop after they run over a bump in the road. 

When the family gets out to investigate they find Brad's dead body. A while later, the family realizes that all clocks and watches have stopped at 7:30. Their younger son Richard suggests alien activity, with his idea immediately dismissed. Frank then encounters a black baby carriage in the middle of the road. Frank and Laura start fighting again, while Richard moves the carriage off of the road. He returns to the car and as they are ready to leave they see the carriage in the middle of the road again.

Frank and Laura resume their heated argument when suddenly Marion announces that she is pregnant. Richard then admits that he is doing drugs. The family stops to fix the car and Richard goes into the forest to get high. He encounters the woman in white. They begin kissing and the woman rips Richard's bottom lip off. While fixing the car, the family sees Richard in the back of a black hearse and begin to run after it. 

They then quickly get in the car and follow the hearse. Again they are stopped by yet another bump in the road. They stop to find Richard's burnt dead body. Devastated, Laura reveals that Richard was not Frank's son, and that she had had an affair in the past. They put Richard's body in the back of the car and drive on.

Back on the road, Laura is beginning to show signs of insanity. She begins acting childlike and drawing pictures of Brad's dead body. Frank then sees a sign for "Marcott", which he believes in a Naval base, and that they are on a military road. Laura eventually falls asleep but shortly after, wakes up and has to vomit, so they pull the car over again. She then sees a gun in the car, which was a gift for her gun obsessed brother. In her childish, confused state, Laura believes that the gun is a toy, so she threatens her daughter and husband with it. Frank then tells her that Richard is dead and she has to accept reality, so she shoots him in the leg. Marion cleans the wound and they are on the road again, this time with Marion driving.

Laura claims to see faces outside of the car windows and tells Frank and Marion that they all look sad. She then sees a friend of hers who had passed away, and demands that the car be stopped so she can see her. No one stops the car, so Laura opens the door and jumps out. The car is stopped just in time for Frank and Marion to see that Laura is being taken away by a hearse. Frank shoots at the hearse, causing it to stop. Laura stumbles toward them and says that she is fine but her head hurts. Feeling her head, Laura realizes that the back of her skull is split open. She eventually dies and Frank puts her in the back of the car.

 Frank thinks that getting out is hopeless, so he takes a gun and puts it to his chin but Marion stops him. They begin driving on the road again, and Frank explains to her about Alan, the man with whom her mother had an affair. He then begins drinking whiskey but Marion grabs the bottle and tosses it out the window. Frank is convinced the only way out is to walk through the woods. They get out of the car and walk, and eventually find themselves back where they started, realizing they walked in a complete circle. Frank finds the cabin from before and goes inside. The woman in white appears behind him and....

And then??? Go ahead over to Netflix and check out Dead End if you really wanna know what happens next! This movie was decent. It wasn't great, but it wasn't horrible either. Not really sure if I'd call this a horror movie or not. It's more of a suspense type thing with a bit of comedy thrown in. The acting was ok, but the character of Richard really got on my nerves. I will say though that the character of the mom was great...after she went insane of course. OMG! It was a riot! 

The scene where she was chowing down on pie was too funny! I mean, she really nailed the whole childish, insane thing for sure! I laughed out loud quite a few times just watching her. I felt that the dialogue wasn't all that clever, it was almost as if a 7 year old wrote it. It indeed was a super cheesy movie, but what do you expect from Troma film??? I wasn't really scared watching this, but I will admit, for about .8 seconds, I was kind of confused. The ending itself I figured out, but how the plot unfolds left me scratching my head a bit.

The film almost had sort of a Twilight Zone feel to it in a way. Shorten it down to about 30 or 40 mins (Which could have been easily done, I'm sure) and BAM! Twilight Zone material! The thing I didn't like is that they didn't show the dead bodies of Brad (the boyfriend) or Richard (the son). I wanna see some dead bodies people...not the terrified reaction on of the families faces! DAMN SON! 

Overall I'd give Dead End a 2.5 out of 5. What lowered the score was the fact that they didn't show dead bodies, and like I said, the dialogue wasn't that great. The ending was a twist, I didn't completely see it coming, but I had a feeling that something like that would happen. And it wasn't scary at all. In fact, I was more amused than I was scared. So there you have it creeps. Now, how about you go on and see what Zane's got going on in his corner of the blog....you'll be glad you did!

MORE FUN THAN A WELL OILED MIDGET AND A CANDYCANE BY ZOMBE ZANE

What it do- what it do motherfuckers! We’re baaaaaaaaaaaack! Did you miss us? Of course you did. Hope everyone out there had a happy Thanksgiving. As for Sasha and I, our holiday was awesome! We totally ate till we puked, drank till we passed out, and had enough time to attend a spanking party. All in all, not a bad holiday. So, what’s poppin, slimes?

As for me, I’m doing good. My New York Football Giants continue to take it on the chin. I hate the fucking Saints! We had such promise a few weeks ago. How the mighty have fallen. Oh well, whatta ya gonna do. 

Anyway, it’s been a while since we’ve talked some horror. How about we get to some? So since the holidays are here, Sasha and I have decided to sprinkle in some holiday horror movies for ya. We figure on doing a couple each week so be sure to look for them.

I’m also gonna give you a list of some of my favorite holiday horror movies I know that you can’t wait for that. Not sure when though. It’ll be this week for sure I’m just not sure on day. I think I’m also gonna go out on a limb and do a book review. That’s right, I can read motherfucker.  

As far as what Sasha has for ya this week, I know she’s gonna be reviewing the film, “Dead End,” which by the way is a great holiday horror film. Umm...she may do some Masters of Horror, not sure what else though. But as you know by now, it’s gonna be good. I mean when is it ever not?

Oh yeah, one more important note. We’re gonna be posting our normal schedule (which is Mon-Fri for those who are new here) up until December 19. Then, due to the holidays, we’re gonna shut it down until after the new year. Not sure our return date, but it won’t be long after Jan. 1
That is if we are all still here.

Don’t be sad, what did you expect? Sasha and I do have family believe it or not. And we even on occasion get into the whole Christmas thing. We are human...well, kinda we are. 

Anywho, that’s it for today. Be sure and check back tomorrow and see what’s on the slab. Maybe Sasha will be half naked like she was last night...Until then, take care, stay a-scared and I am out! Peace peace and jump up and slap your pappy grease!