MORE FUN THAN A WELL OILED MIDGET AND A CANDYCANE BY ZOMBE ZANE

What it do- what it do motherfuckers! We’re baaaaaaaaaaaack! Did you miss us? Of course you did. Hope everyone out there had a happy Thanksgiving. As for Sasha and I, our holiday was awesome! We totally ate till we puked, drank till we passed out, and had enough time to attend a spanking party. All in all, not a bad holiday. So, what’s poppin, slimes?

As for me, I’m doing good. My New York Football Giants continue to take it on the chin. I hate the fucking Saints! We had such promise a few weeks ago. How the mighty have fallen. Oh well, whatta ya gonna do. 

Anyway, it’s been a while since we’ve talked some horror. How about we get to some? So since the holidays are here, Sasha and I have decided to sprinkle in some holiday horror movies for ya. We figure on doing a couple each week so be sure to look for them.

I’m also gonna give you a list of some of my favorite holiday horror movies I know that you can’t wait for that. Not sure when though. It’ll be this week for sure I’m just not sure on day. I think I’m also gonna go out on a limb and do a book review. That’s right, I can read motherfucker.  

As far as what Sasha has for ya this week, I know she’s gonna be reviewing the film, “Dead End,” which by the way is a great holiday horror film. Umm...she may do some Masters of Horror, not sure what else though. But as you know by now, it’s gonna be good. I mean when is it ever not?

Oh yeah, one more important note. We’re gonna be posting our normal schedule (which is Mon-Fri for those who are new here) up until December 19. Then, due to the holidays, we’re gonna shut it down until after the new year. Not sure our return date, but it won’t be long after Jan. 1
That is if we are all still here.

Don’t be sad, what did you expect? Sasha and I do have family believe it or not. And we even on occasion get into the whole Christmas thing. We are human...well, kinda we are. 

Anywho, that’s it for today. Be sure and check back tomorrow and see what’s on the slab. Maybe Sasha will be half naked like she was last night...Until then, take care, stay a-scared and I am out! Peace peace and jump up and slap your pappy grease!

BEASTIALITY IS STRICTLY PROHIBITED!!! By: Zombie Zane

What’s good horror fans that run around in the daylight making cinder block yard art.  Looks like it’s time once again to do what we do and talk some horror.  For today’s post, I’ve put together a list of some of the best ‘Man vs. Beast’ horror films.  After all, that is the flavor of the week here at D.E.H.

Now before I get to the list, I gotta tell ya, there are a shitload of these films out there. Hell, you probably have some in your movie collection. Now understand, I’ve left out one particular iconic man vs. beast film.  SPOILER ALERT!! I didn’t include “Jaws.” Why you may ask? Well, let me tell ya. It’s a great movie and I am aware it’s classic MVB (man versus beast) but it’s been mentioned and talked about ad nauseam.  I know for a fact it’s appeared on several of our lists here. So that’s the reason I didn’t throw it in to the mix.  I just wanted to kinda throw in some other shit. Plus, it’s my blog, and I make the rules.  You don’t like it, then you can fuck off outta here and make your own list.                

So, enough foreplay. Let’s nude up and get to it, yes?

One more thought before the list. These films are not in any particular order. It’s just a list of ten. No more, no less. So anyway, here’s the list:

10.  20,000 Leagues Under the Sea (1954) Old school baby! And get this, it’s actually a Disney movie! No shit! A first here at D.E.H. I don’t think we’ve had a Disney movie here. Anyway, this ‘54 classic features an all star cast and actually won two Academy Awards. It’s good stuff and you should look into it. It’s on Netflix instant watch for those who wanna know.

9. Lake Placid (1999) This film has been mentioned here at DEH a time or two as well, but fuck it. This film rocks from start to finish.  Oliver Platt is awesome in this movie! Plus who doesn’t like a giant croc? Awesome movie all the way around.

8.  Deep Blue Sea (1999) Killer sharks with human intelligence is just a recipe for disaster.  I actually enjoyed this film. I know there’s some haters, but fuck, man, it’s really pretty cool. If you’re a fan of shark films not named “Jaws” go give it a watch.

7.  Godzilla (1998) Wouldn’t be a good list without this remake. C’mon man! Gotta put Godzilla on here. This is man versus beast at its best. I loved the Godzilla movies when I was a kid, and sometimes I still geek out to ‘em. ...”Oh No! There goes Tokyo! Go-go Godzilla!”

6.  King Kong (2005) Again, man versus beast at its finest. Loved this remake, loved the classic. This is one of the few MVB films where you actually root for the beast.  I normally hate remakes, but these is one of those exception to the rules.

5.  Man’s Best Friend (1993) Back to the 90's we go! Fuck I just realized 4 of the last 6 movies are from the ‘90's. Huh. Go figure. Anyway, this film stars Ally Sheedy and one pissed off canine. I hesitated to put this movie on here, but I liked it so it made the cut.

4.  Tremors (1990) Another one from the 90's? YIKES! Kevin Bacon stars in this movie about huge, man eating worms. To me, this is kinda like an old school monster movie. That’s one of the reasons I really liked this film. It’s corny and a bit campy, but it has lots of charm.

                                                                          
 3.  Anaconda (1997) J.Lo and a huge snake. Need I say more. And I think it has Ice Cube in it too.  “...My anaconda don’t want none unless you got buns hun! Whapisssh!”

                                                                            
2.  Razortooth (2006) A giant eel that eats college students. What’s not to like? This actually is a pretty tripped out film. It’s directed by Patricia Harrington and this film really surprised me. But then again, I have low standards so I’m rarely disappointed.

                                                                                
1.  Cujo (1983) From the master of horror himself. This King adaptation scared the shit outta me! I was like terrified of dogs for a long time after seeing this movie. If I were putting this list in order, this would be my numero uno. One of the few King adaptations that worked on the big screen.

                                                                        
Well, there ya have it. All in all not a bad list. I just thought of another movie I should’ve added. I should’ve added “Piranha”. Whatever. Anyway, that’s all I got for today. Be sure and go by and see what Sasha’s up to. Her window is always open and if you’re lucky you may just get to see her undress.

Sasha's Bum!!

                                                                       
Until next time, take care, stay a-scared and I am out! 

Zombie Zane