Hello Dead End Horror fans that go commando on chilly, winter days. What’s good? So, I know that I said I was gonna do a list of five more holiday horror movies for ya, but...I changed my mind. Why? Because I’ve decided to use our time here to shamelessly self promote some of my other work. I know that sounds lame and shit, but I gotta do what I gotta do.
Look, you don’t have to read every motherfucking story. Alls you gotta do is simply clink the links and maybe share it on facebook, or Twitter or whatever. I could really use the hits and I know that I would totally do that for you if the shoe was on the other foot.
And by the way, it ain’t like these stories are long and shitty. In fact, most of these are horror. So see, it’s all good. Now then, because of Yahoo!’s strict rules, I had to keep most of these on the PG-13 level. So no fucks, cunts, assholes, dicks, cocksuckers, etc. etc. Like I had to keep it relatively clean.
So, how about it? How about giving some of these a read. Help your good buddy Zombie Zane. You be good to Zombie, Zombie be good to you! Okay, here’s some of the links. Wait. Before I post these links, let me tell you about the three stories I wanna share with yous.
The first is a kinda horror/western theme, the second is about alien abductions and shit like that, the third is also alien related. But like I said, they all have a little horror in them. I mean after all, I am the horror master. Okay, here’s the links....
See, that wasn't so bad. Anyway, thanks for giving me the traffic. Really appreciate it. Before you go, be sure to see what Sasha has got going on. Maybe she's in the nude hanging up Christmas lights. Until Monday, take care, stay a-scared and I am out!
Well ho ho ho to you! Hey there! Sasha Slaughter here with you for the final time until the New Year. *Cue tears* You'll miss me right? But it's all good, you freaks can still google me...haha =) I'll be back before you know it! So for my last post this month I've decided to review a Christmas movie....YAY!! But it's not just any Christmas movie, it's from 1959...WHAT WHAT?? I was browsing Netflix and saw this movie and decided to share it with you.
I'll be telling you about a film called Santa Claus. It is a live action Mexican motion picture. It was directed by Rene Cardona and written by Rene Cardona and Adolfo Torres Portillo. The original film was produced in Mexico and features primarily Spanish dialogue. A dubbed and slightly edited English language (Which is the version I watched) version of the film was released in 1960 under the direction of K. Gordon Murray. So let me tell you a little about it.
Santa Claus works in his Toyland castle in outer space, but soon has to do battle with a demon named Pitch, sent to earth to kill Santa and to make of the children do evil. It is December twenty-fourth and Santa is busy making preparations to go to Earth and deliver presents to all of the good boys and girls. Little does he know, Satan has sent one of his demons to earth to turn the children against Santa. Pitch attempts to convince five children to make Santa angry. He chooses Lupita, a poor girl; Billy, the son of wealthy but negligent parents; and three trouble making brothers. Pitch fails in attempting to talk Lupita into stealing a doll, but succeeds in convincing the three brothers to break a toy shop window. In outer space, Santa's child workers alert him of these events.
Because he is unable to travel to earth before Christmas, he uses special equipment in his observatory to watch Pitch and the children. One device lets him see Lupita's dream, in which she is tormented by life size dolls, encouraging her to steal. He also listens to the three brothers as they plot to break into Billy's house and steal his toys. That night it is time for Santa to make his journey to earth. He goes to his trusted assistant Merlin to get his sleeping powder, and a flower that makes him disappear.
His last stop before he leaves the castle is to see the blacksmith who makes him a golden key every year that will unlock any door. He retrieves his items while his child workers get the toys and reindeer ready for his journey. During Santa's trip, Pitch makes several attempts to sabotage the delivery of Santa's toys in Mexico city. Does Santa make sure all of the boys and girls get their toys..or does Pitch see to it that his masters evil plan succeeds??
*Snores* Ohh hi!! Umm..is the movie over?? TOTAL SNOOZE FEST!! Ughh! I cannot tell you how many times I wanted to fall asleep during that cheese festival. I can't even begin to describe how lame that movie was. But then again, it is from 1959 and I probably shouldn't expect to get blown out of the water. I've been way too spoiled by today's high tech movies and such. It was originally a Spanish movie, with the dialogue all in Spanish, but it was dubbed in English. It was horrible!
And some of Santa's little kid workers spoke different languages, and they weren't dubbed into English, so I had no idea what the hell they were saying. And another thing...child workers??? Really Santa?? I guess the child labor laws were a bit looser back then, huh? And another thing, the first 10 minutes of the movie was some narrator introducing brats *Santa's child workers* from literally all over the country. And all they did was sing and do stupid stuff. That really annoyed me. And they sang in their own language, so again, I had no idea what they were saying.
This film absolutely qualifies as "so bad it's good". The stink of this cheese fest will overpower you, I promise. Overall I'd give this smelly heap a 1 out of 5. It was just....bad. Really bad. And what was with the the terrible dubbing? And this film was totally over narrated, and the voice over was terribly annoying. The acting is terrible, especially the children that serve as Santa's underage international workers. And there are quite a few song and dance numbers that are sure to baffle. And Santa creeped me out.
From the first line he uttered, til the end of the movie. A giant creep fest. And his laugh? It is hands down the creepiest Santa Claus laugh ever...and he does it throughout the entire movie..ahhhhh! I totally wasted 94 minutes of my life! The whole Santa vs the Devil stuff was horrible. Well, that's all I have to say about that. Don't forget to stop by and see what crazy stuff Zane's got up his sleeve. Thanks for stopping by Dead End Horror and I hope you all have a very Merry Christmas!!!
Hello Dead End Horror fans that aspire to be underwear models and antichrist’s. What’s good? Okay, so this post is gonna be a little bit different. There’s a fuckin’ surprise, huh? Anyway, I was gonna do a movie review, but decided against it at the last moment. Why? Let me explain before you piss and moan.
One more thing, this post really has not jack shit to do with anything horror. I know, I know, you’re askin’ what the fuck are you doin’ Zombie Zane? Well allow me to retort. Now I know that you have come to expect horror and gross shit. But not to worry, I got the gross shit covered.
With the holiday season approaching, as you know, we, at DEH have been doing Christmas themed horror movies. Kinda giving you an alternative to the hum-drum old-school Christmas movies. So I thought that it would be a good idea to share with you some nasty versions of Christmas music. So, if you hold these songs sacred, then this is where you should fuck off outta here.
Now for me, I find these songs funny as shit. But then again, I have a really morbid sense of humor. So without further ado, here are some nasty as hell Christmas songs that you can sing around the piano while sipping some egg nog. Enjoy!
HAH! That was awesome! Ok, let's try this one...
Well, that was just aces! I love it! See, see how much fun an alternative Christmas can be! Let's do another one, yes?
YIKES! Have you laughed yet? I hope so. Told ya I had the gross and raunchy shit covered. Are you offended? I hope so! Here's another carol!
I LOVE IT! The first part was my favorite. I made Sasha listen to all these last night. Especially this next one. Check it out....
LOVE ME SOME FARTS! Farts are still funny! Ok, Last one and then I gotta go. Places to see and people to do, but let's enjoy this one before we say good-bye....
LOL! Wasn't this fun? I do love some Christmas music. Anyway, that's all I got for today. Be sure and go and visit Sasha. She's most likely roasting Chet's nuts on an open fire. If it ain't Chet, I'm sure it's Brad...or Steve...or...who knows. But I'm sure she's roasting something.
So until tomorrow, take care, stay a-scared and I am out! Peace peace and between the sheets grease!
Ohh well hey there people that search "humiliated corpse". REALLY?? Ughh! Here at Dead End Horror, we are absolutely fly paper for freaks, and we wouldn't have it any other way. And with that being said, let me tell you a little about today's post. Today I'll be reviewing Child's Play (in lieu of the holiday season). Even though I don't think Child's Play is necessarily a Christmas movie, Zane in all of his wisdom says that it is. So I guess he pretty much relieved himself on my opinion, huh? So let me tell you a little more about it.
Child's Play is an American Horror film that was written by Don Mancini and directed by Tom Holland. The film was met with moderate success, and soon developed a cult following among fans of the horror genre. And here's a little FYI for ye...In 2008 a remake of the film was discussed and slated for a possible 2012 or 2013 release. Before I tell you more about the movie, I gotta say...REALLY? A remake of Child's Play?? Losing your creative ability much?? Douches. I'd like to see some originality and not constant remakes of old movies because you can't think of anything else. Thanks!
In November of 1988 in Chicago, Illinois, while being chased by a Detective, Charles Lee Ray, a serial killer known as "The Lakeshore Strangler" is shot and fatally wounded. He takes cover in a toy store knowing that he cannot escape. He sees boxes of "Good Guy" dolls and uses a voodoo ritual to transfer his soul into one of the dolls. Almost immediately the store is struck by lightning and burns to the ground, although most of it's inventory, including the dolls, survives. Later that morning 6 year old Andy Barclay tells his mother that he wants a Good Guy doll for his birthday. Karen Barclay knows that she can't afford the full price of the doll, so she buys a stolen one from a street peddler. It happens to be the same doll that Charles Lee Ray had earlier transferred his soul into.
Later that night as Andy is playing with his new doll, who has introduced himself as "Chucky", Andy's babysitter Maggie scolds Andy for placing Chucky in front of the TV. When Andy denies doing so, Maggie sends him to his room. Shortly after, Maggie is violently attacked by an unseen force with a hammer and falls out the kitchen window to her death. Later, when Andy is questioned he insists that Chucky told him he was alive and that he killed Maggie. The following day, Andy takes Chucky and visits Eddie, an old accomplice of Charles Lee Ray's, who had betrayed him. Chucky sneaks into Eddie's house and blows out a pilot light on the stove and then turns up the gas. Eddie soon discovers that Chucky is alive and in panicked self-defense, he fires his gun and the house explodes. Because Andy was found close to the scene of the crime, he is taken to a psychiatric ward. His mother Karen quickly discovers that Andy is telling the truth because the batteries included with the doll were never put in.
Later that night, Karen finds Chucky in the apartment and threatens to throw him into the fireplace. He comes alive in her hands, bites her and runs out of the apartment. She then calls Detective Norris, who is investigating Maggie's death. He is hesitant to believe her story, but the homeless man she bought the doll from confirms that he retrieved it from the burnt down toy store where Charles Lee Ray was killed. Later that night, Norris becomes a believer when he is attacked by Chucky in his car and survives only by shooting the doll. Chucky then meets with his voo doo instructor from years past, and asks him why his gunshot wound had bled, when dolls don't have blood.
The instructor informs him that his body is slowly conforming to that of a humans and will soon be entirely flesh and blood, trapping him within it. Chucky demands to know how to stop it, and because the voo doo instructor believes Chucky had been abusing his voo doo knowledge, refuses to help. Chucky tortures the instructor, and eventually he admits that Chucky can escape the dolls body if he transfers his soul into the body of the first person that he revealed his true nature to, and that person is little Andy Barclay....
What a demonic little dolly!!! I definitely don't want one of those for Christmas! No way! Ok, anyway..This movie is old! Damn! Well, actually and technically, I'm a year older than this movie really. Wow right?? I've seen this movie a handful of times, not many. It's a decent enough film, although I didn't think it was scary by any means. It's basically a goofy looking doll going around and killing people while spouting off clever little one liners. That's the charm of the movie I guess. But then again, this movie was made in 1988, so I guess the movie doesn't scare quite as many people today, because it takes alot more to scare people nowadays. I will say that this film is most definitely iconic, and for sure horror at it's finest in the late 80's. One thing I wonder about is why, if Chucky gets killed in the movie, are there sequels? I thought he died?? I don't remember honestly. It's been a hot damn minute since I've seen any of the Child's Play movies.
Overall I'd give Child's Play a 2.5 out of 5. I didn't think it was all that scary, there wasn't alot of blood or gore, only a few murders...mehhh. I heard it was rumored that the Chucky doll was based on a similar doll called "My Buddy". That's sort of creepy, considering the fact that my little brother once had a My Buddy doll. Yikes. Don Mancini, the creator of Child's Play, later revealed that the idea of Chucky was actually based on Cabbage Patch Kids. Weird. This is just a classic 80's horror movie, and I'd recommend it, especially to the younger generations of horror fans. Well, now that I'm done yapping, how about you go see what your good buddy Zombie Zane is up to?? Thanks for stopping by!
Josh Lucas's butt...WHAT WHAT?? Don't ask. You don't wanna know. And a big howdy ho to our fellow horror lovers out there. Sasha Slaughter here with you for our last full week of posting. Don't fret, we'll return soon. Zane will get more into detail about that. But let me go into some detail about the film I'll be telling you about today. I'll be telling you about the movie The Final. It was written by Jason Kabolati and directed by Joey Stewart. And here's something you may or may not know, The Final was actually part of the After Dark Horror Fest in 2010. Awesome! Let me tell you a little more about it.
Dane, an unpopular high school student and his group of outcast friends (Ravi, Emily, and Jack) decide to take revenge into their own hands after being tormented and harassed in school. Their plan includes gruesome forms of torture learned in history class, and some things they've learned from horror movies. The friends plan a Halloween party at an old house that Dane has recently inherited and decide that this is where their revenge will take place. They invite only the kids who have tormented them over the years, and leave out Kurtis, a popular kid that actually talks to them and treats them well.
During the days leading up to the party, the friends go over the details very carefully and make sure everything is in place. Most of the outcast's are shown to have disturbing family lives, driving them further into depression and thoughts of suicide. Dane's parents fight constantly, Ravi's family is cold and distant, Jack's father ignores him completely, and Emily's family tries to change her and doesn't understand her.
Their family lives combined with constantly being tortured by bullies, pushes the outcasts over the edge with their cruel plan for revenge. Dane sends out the invitations, telling the invited guests to wear a costume. Right before the party, they set up camera's and various equipment at the place where the party will be held. The guests start arriving and are greeted at the door with several different alcoholic drinks, all laced a drug, causing the kids to fall unconscious. When the kids wake up, they find themselves chained together, with the outcasts wearing masks and costumes inspired by horror movies.
They are seeking revenge for the years of torment and want to torture their worst enemies. A teen named Miles starts mouthing off and says that it must be some Halloween prank, so Jack applies a cattle gun to his face and his knees to shut him up. This is only the beginning out the gruesome torture that takes place. The outcasts have got plenty more tricks up their sleeves for their fellow classmates and tormentors. And by the end of the night, will the outcasts get what they've been longing for? Will they get their revenge and finally be at peace?
Crazy kids! If you want to know if Jack, Emily, Ravi, and Dane did in fact get their revenge, check out The Final on Netflix or DVD to find out! So, I actually liked this movie. And it's about an actual controversial subject, and that's bullying. Can you imagine all of the people in the world that have thought about doing the things depicted in the movie to their bullies? For real. The first 20 mins or so is kind of slow, almost to the point where you'd want to stop watching. But after the poor set up and plot development, you get to main event, which is the sadistic torture of the bullies.
And the quiet, kid named Jack playing the banjo during some of the more sadistic scenes added an element of creepiness. I do think though the film was more about justice than just sheer torture. The outcasts wanted justice and revenge on those who tortured them, so they tormented their bullies in return. The acting wasn't that great, but I do think that the characters of Dane and Emily were played very well.
I definitely think that this movie is aimed more toward teenagers than anything, but you can be bullied at any age. Overall I'd give The Final a 2.5 out of 5. It was a decent movie with some good torture scenes, but the acting was really awful. And during some of the torture scenes, the actors didn't even look scared. There really wasn't much blood or gore, but it was the sadistic ways that the outcasts tortured their bullies that made it good.
I mean, these kids were effing crazy! Not really sure if I'd recommend this film, it's not really a "must see". I mean, it would be cool to watch on a night when you have nothing to do, and you maybe feel like watching a revenge movie. So now you know how I feel about that, how about you go see what Zane's got going on in his part of the world?? Thanks for stopping by Dead End Horror.
Hello Dead End Horror fans that stay up all night searching for the nastiest shit you can think of online. What’s good? MAN, whatta a fucking weekend here, at DEH. The lovely Sasha Slaughter had her home overtaken by strange, mushroom like people. And me, Zombie Zane, watched my New York Football Giants defeat the Dallas Cowbitches. Tony Romo, what a twat waffle. So needless to say, I’m in a pretty good mood today.
So, I guess this is where I tell you what we got coming out this week. But before I do that, let me give you a little heads up about what’s gonna go down with us over the Christmas break. (If the word Christmas offends you, go fuck yourself. I hope that was offensive to you as well. Fuckin’ people who get all bent out of shape when they hear or see the word, CHRISTMAS. What dumb-fucks those kinda people are.)
Sorry, ranting! I’m in a good mood. Not sure where that came from. Anyway, our schedule over the CHRISTMAS break is gonna go like this. We’ll post shit like normal this week. Monday-Friday. Next week, we’re gonna post on Monday only and that will be it until sometime after January 1st. I know, I know, it’s totally sad and you are all bumming. But hey, Sasha and I do get into the CHRISTMAS spirit too. So there ya go. This week, all new shit, next week, Monday post and then we shut it down for a couple weeks.
But let’s focus on this week for now. I think Sasha is gonna be reviewing a few Christmas horror movies, “Childs Play” and something she found form like the 1950's. I’m pretty geeked about that. So be sure and check back this week. Like everyday. Multiple times if you please.
As far as me, I’m gonna give you 5 more holiday horror movies you can watch for a more alternative holiday. I’m also gonna review something, not sure what yet but you can bet your fucking ass’ that’s it’s gonna be damn good. After all, I am a professional.
So, there ya have it. A look at the week ahead here at DEH. So be sure and visit us as often as you like. The more the better. You may just catch Sasha doing something freaky-deaky with the fat man in the red suit. So until tomorrow, take care, stay a-scared, and I am out! Peace peace and Rudolph grease!
