SANTA CLAUS IS A CREEPER By: SASHA SLAUGHTER

Well ho ho ho to you! Hey there! Sasha Slaughter here with you for the final time until the New Year. *Cue tears* You'll miss me right? But it's all good, you freaks can still google me...haha =) I'll be back before you know it! So for my last post this month I've decided to review a Christmas movie....YAY!! But it's not just any Christmas movie, it's from 1959...WHAT WHAT?? I was browsing Netflix and saw this movie and decided to share it with you. 

I'll be telling you about a film called Santa Claus. It is a live action Mexican motion picture. It was directed by Rene Cardona and written by Rene Cardona and Adolfo Torres Portillo. The original film was produced in Mexico and features primarily Spanish dialogue. A dubbed and slightly edited English language (Which is the version I watched) version of the film was released in 1960 under the direction of K. Gordon Murray. So let me tell you a little about it.

Santa Claus works in his Toyland castle in outer space, but soon has to do battle with a demon named Pitch, sent to earth to kill Santa and to make of the children do evil. It is December twenty-fourth and Santa is busy making preparations to go to Earth and deliver presents to all of the good boys and girls. Little does he know, Satan has sent one of his demons to earth to turn the children against Santa. Pitch attempts to convince five children to make Santa angry. He chooses Lupita, a poor girl; Billy, the son of wealthy but negligent parents; and three trouble making brothers. Pitch fails in attempting to talk Lupita into stealing a doll, but succeeds in convincing the three brothers to break a toy shop window. In outer space, Santa's child workers alert him of these events.

Because he is unable to travel to earth before Christmas, he uses special equipment in his observatory to watch Pitch and the children. One device lets him see Lupita's dream, in which she is tormented by life size dolls, encouraging her to steal. He also listens to the three brothers as they plot to break into Billy's house and steal his toys. That night it is time for Santa to make his journey to earth. He goes to his trusted assistant Merlin to get his sleeping powder, and a flower that makes him disappear. 

His last stop before he leaves the castle is to see the blacksmith who makes him a golden key every year that will unlock any door. He retrieves his items while his child workers get the toys and reindeer ready for his journey. During Santa's trip, Pitch makes several attempts to sabotage the delivery of Santa's toys in Mexico city. Does Santa make sure all of the boys and girls get their toys..or does Pitch see to it that his masters evil plan succeeds??

*Snores* Ohh hi!! Umm..is the movie over?? TOTAL SNOOZE FEST!! Ughh! I cannot tell you how many times I wanted to fall asleep during that cheese festival. I can't even begin to describe how lame that movie was. But then again, it is from 1959 and I probably shouldn't expect to get blown out of the water. I've been way too spoiled by today's high tech movies and such. It was originally a Spanish movie, with the dialogue all in Spanish, but it was dubbed in English. It was horrible! 

And some of Santa's little kid workers spoke different languages, and they weren't dubbed into English, so I had no idea what the hell they were saying. And another thing...child workers??? Really Santa?? I guess the child labor laws were a bit looser back then, huh? And another thing, the first 10 minutes of the movie was some narrator introducing brats *Santa's child workers* from literally all over the country. And all they did was sing and do stupid stuff. That really annoyed me. And they sang in their own language, so again, I had no idea what they were saying.

This film absolutely qualifies as "so bad it's good". The stink of this cheese fest will overpower you, I promise. Overall I'd give this smelly heap a 1 out of 5. It was just....bad. Really bad. And what was with the the terrible dubbing? And this film was totally over narrated, and the voice over was terribly annoying. The acting is terrible, especially the children that serve as Santa's underage international workers. And there are quite a few song and dance numbers that are sure to baffle. And Santa creeped me out. 

From the first line he uttered, til the end of the movie. A giant creep fest. And his laugh? It is hands down the creepiest Santa Claus laugh ever...and he does it throughout the entire movie..ahhhhh! I totally wasted 94 minutes of my life! The whole Santa vs the Devil stuff was horrible. Well, that's all I have to say about that. Don't forget to stop by and see what crazy stuff Zane's got up his sleeve. Thanks for stopping by Dead End Horror and I hope you all have a very Merry Christmas!!!