IS HE DEAD OR WHAT??? By: SASHA SLAUGHTER

How are you doing slimes? Apparently good and well, the mutilation of lady bits is still a popular search, so you must be doing just dandy, yes? Anyway it is yours truly Sasha Slaughter here with you and in continuing with the theme of the week, today I'll be telling you about another 70's horror movie. YAY! The film I'll be telling you about is called Crucible of Horror (Also known as The Corpse or The Velvet House). 

It's a 1970's British horror movie. It was written by Olaf Pooley and directed by Viktors Ritelis. Now that you know the basics, let me tell you a little about the movie.

A sadistic banker named Walter Eastwood tortures and humiliates his Wife Edith and daughter Jane on a daily basis. While his son Rupert gets away with everything, as he is the obvious favorite. After finding out that Jane had stolen money, Walter beats her with a switch, leaving deep red scars, which happens to be a repeated ritual. While her daughter is getting beaten, Edith cowers in room and does nothing. 

Rupert drowns out his sisters screams with his headphones. One day, after a particularly brutal beating, Jane and Edith make the decision that they are going to kill Walter because they've had enough of him ruling their lives. They plan to poison him while he is away at their cottage for the weekend. Only their plan goes horribly wrong...I think.

WHAT??? This movie made absolutely ZERO sense to me. I can't even begin to understand what the hell this movie was supposed to be about. It was quite befuddling. It was confusing and incredibly slow moving...so slow moving in fact that I thought about taking a damn nap. 

The acting was pretty good, but sweet Jesus it was confusing! Did I say that already? I don't care! I honestly don't know what this movie was supposed to be about. I didn't get it! And how the hell did the dudes body get inside a wooden crate? And if he was dead, who made his bed? And why was the wife all ashen and pale at the end of the movie? I DON'T GET IT!! 

Overall I'd give Crucible of Horror a 1 out of 5. Yeah, it's that bad. If you are easily confused (Which I am...sometimes) then DO NOT watch this movie...because trust me, you won't get it. Now then, since you're here (and hopefully not confused) stop by and see what Zane's up to. I'm almost sure it may involve some boobs...or other body parts! Thanks for stopping by Dead End Horror.

LET'S ALL STRIP NAKED FOR THE DEVIL BY ZOMBIE ZANE

Hello Dead End Horror fans that like to fuck about on facebook and other social networking sites with fake profiles. Have you gotten a life yet? Will you ever? No. What’s poppin’ slimes? SO as you know or may not know, this week Sasha and I are all in on 1970's horror films. And believe me, we’ve seen some really weird shit this week. Like the movie I watched last night.

Anyone ever hear of, “Nude for Satan?” No? Holy shit! Let me tell you about this odd motherfuck of a movie. If you like lesbian play, hairy bush, and random dialogue that doesn’t mean shit, well this is the perfect film for you. 

Anyway, “Nude for Satan,” is a 1974 Italian gothic horror film directed by Paolo Solvay and it stars nobody you’ve ever heard of. It runs just over 80mins and it’s not rated. And yes, it is totally available on Netflix instant watch. So after you read this, you can totally watch it. That is if you don’t have jack shit going on.

Man, I don’t know where to start. I really have no clue what this film was about. All I can tell you is that a man and a woman end up in this weird, castle like place. From what I could tell, their doppelgangers live there along with a huge fake ass looking spider and the Devil. Oh yeah, and a bunch of naked chicks rocking the 1970's bush. What the what?  

Basically this movie is a bunch of random shit thrown together with some lesbian sex and nudity sprinkled in for good measure. What this film was trying to get across, I don’t know. More importantly, I don’t give a shit. I know that it like has a bunch of skin in it, but this movie was a total shit pile. Even for the 1970's. Like I get the whole sexploitation thing, and I’ve actually seen some good ones. This was not one.

I give this pile of fuck a 1 out of a possible 5. Again, my I.Q. might’ve dropped a bit from watching this thing. So if you’re already a retard, then by all means you can watch it and not worry about losing any of your already missing brain cells. But if you have an ounce of intellect left, stay away from this one.  

Well, I guess that’s all I got. Be sure and see what Sasha’s up to. Maybe her movie was better. SO until tomorrow, take care, stay a-scared, and I am out.

LACE PANTIES ARE COOL...BUT SO IS BLOOD AND LACE! BY: SASHA SLAUGHTER

Well hello there DEH fanatics! As you may or may not know, depending on whether or not you read Zane's post yesterday (which you damn well better have), we are totally going retro on you this week. That's right...this week it's all about the 70's. And what better than to tell you about some awesome or not so awesome 70's movies...right? Heck yes! Today I'll be telling you about a movie called Blood and Lace. Ever heard of it? Me either! Blood and Lace is 1971 horror film. It was directed by Phillip Gilbert and written by Gil Lasky. So hold on to your NB while I tell you a little about it.

After her prostitute mother and her client are beaten to death with a hammer while they are asleep in bed, Ellie Masters is sent to an orphanage run by Mrs. Deere and her handyman named Tom. Detective Calvin Carruthers takes an extreme interest in the welfare of teenager Ellie Masters, an almost intimate interest for that matter. And the person who has no interest in her well being whatsoever is her social worker, Harold Mullins, who is completely wrapped around Mrs. Deere's finger. Soon after arriving at the orphanage, Ellie notices strange and unpleasant things happening. She finds a girl locked in the basement, being punished for attempting to run away. And then Ellie is told stories of other children who have tried to run away, but were never found. Ellie compares the orphanage to a concentration camp and soon finds out that Mrs. Deere and Tom are nothing but brutal sadists, but that's the least of Ellie's worries. She gets the feeling that the hammer wielding- killer that murdered her mother, is after her next.

Dun dun dun! OHHH NOOO! Ahh the retro 70's horror movies. You either love 'em or you don't. I am the epitome of new school, so naturally I'm not really turned on to the older stuff. But actually, this film wasn't all that bad. The acting wasn't that great, and the whore and her client getting beaten to death with a hammer scene was sooo fake. And the blood looked like red paint. But it was the 70's so I guess it makes sense. The film kept me mildly interested, although at times I did find myself falling asleep...and wishing that I had a giant muffin. But other than that, it wasn't horrible. Overall I'd give Blood and Lace a 3 out of 5. I was gonna give it a 2, but the bitch slap of a twist at the end totally gave me the shocker, so it definitely upped the score. I didn't even see it coming!! I'd probably watch this film again...if I were bored...with NOTHING else to watch. Maybe. And hey, while you're here, how about you check out Zane's Monday post if you haven't already. Thanks for stopping by Dead End Horror!

VAMPIRE BOX MUNCHERS AND WALKING CORPSES BY: ZOMBIE ZANE

Hello Dead End Horror fans that Tebow in front of the TV while praying that your team makes the winning 31 yard field goal. What’s good?  I don’t know about you, but I am fucking elated! After an up and down season, my New York Football Giants are heading to the motherfucking Super Bowl for a rematch with the shit heal New England Patriots. Fuck Brady and Fuck New England.

Anywho, since this is not a sports blog, I guess I better tell you what’s on tap for the week. Last week Sasha and I did slasher films. SO if you’re new to DEH I suggest you go and familiarize yourself with some of our old shit. If you’re into clit cutting and Willem Dafoe’s cock and balls, then you should be in hog heaven. But for real, we have some cool shit in out archives so don’t be shy, have yourself a look-see. 

So, for this week, I Sasha and I will be talking about horror films from the 1970's. Why? I’m not sure. It just sounded like a cool idea last week when we were thinking of shit to write about. So, seeing how I was busy today and didn’t really have the time to think of anything else, that’s what we’re sticking with.

Don’t be that way. There’s some cool motherfucking shit that came out of the 70's in the way of horror. What movies are we gonna review you ask? Well my little minion, you’re just gonna have to come back daily and see. Shit, if I told you what movies we were gonna talk about and you thought they sucked, why you wouldn’t come and visit us. So no way, Jackson. You’ll have to come back to see.

One more thing, I’m gonna throw in a book review this week as well. It has not a goddamn thang to do with 70's horror but what the what. I can do as I please. Our blog. Our rules. But, no, I’m gonna be reviewing the book, “Offspring” by Jack Ketchum. I think I may have done the movie as well. Can’t remember right off hand. But in any case, I’ll be doing that. 

Well, I guess that’s all the news that I got for now. I’m gonna crack a cold one and continue to celebrate my Giants victory. And I know that this is not a sports blog, but a very melancholy happy trails to one of the greatest coaches of all time. Joe Pa, you will be missed. And to those who called for his head after those unfortunate incidents that occurred earlier in the year, I got one thing to say to you, Fuck off outta here. Like he did what he thought was best. If that ain’t good enough for you, piss off. 

Okay, sorry. I rambled. But on that note, until next time, take care, stay a-scared and I am out. C-ya on the flip side motherfuckers. This is Zombie Zane signing off.