Shit We Haven't Seen and Shit We Wanna Talk About By: Zombie Zane

Dum-dum-dum-relax here I come. What’s good Dead End Horror fans? Hope everyone had a good weekend. As for me, my weekend was kinda on the fucked up side to say the least. I’ll spare you the details.

So, on to bigger and things like what the fuck Sasha and I are gonna be posting this week. This week we’re gonna be talking about shit we haven’t seen yet. By that I mean horror movies we ain’t seen yet. Sometimes the shit we review are movies that we’ve seen before. This week it will be all new shit to us. How many times did I say shit in this paragraph?

By the way, did anyone catch the Grammy’s last night? It was okay. Like I give it a 2.5 out of 5. Bruno Mars was fucking awesome! And so was Deadmau5! Even Katy Perry rocked the house and I usually hate that bitch.

Adele was fucking bad ass too! I’m glad she cleaned house. The chick can fucking sing. So kudos to her. And what was with Lady GaGa’s net face? Was that like a tuna net or some shit? And one more thing, enough of all the old geezers up on stage rockin.’ Jesus Christ. It was like circa 1960.

Okay, enough Grammy talk. Just be sure and tune in this week for shit we haven’t seen. I’m not sure what I’m gonna watch yet. I’ll figure it out. Sasha will be watching some cool shit too. I would tell you but I’d rather you just come back and see what the fuck is going on. 

So on that note, until tomorrow, take care, stay a-scared and I am out. Peace peace and rumph-rumph-rumph grease!

Secret Thoughts Lead to Bathroom Sex By: Zombie Zane

Bop-bop-bop-and fap-fap-fap! What’s new Dead End Horror fans? In case you haven’t noticed, this post is coming out a day late. Due to the Super Bowl and the Super Bowl festivities, Sasha and I decided to take yesterday off. I too elated with my New York Giants to even think about work.

So it’s now Tuesday and it’s back to the regular grind. Anyway, this week at DEH we’re just gonna do some random type shit. No real topic, just random horror whatever. Is that okay with you? No!? Too motherfucking bad! Our blog, our rules. But don’t worry, you’ll dig our shit. You always do. 

As far as digging our shit, Sasha will be doing a couple movie reviews, and maybe some dark poetry. She’s a damn good poet in case you didn’t know that. Me, I couldn’t write poetry to save my cock. Thank god that proposition hasn’t came about yet.

Anyway, as far as what I got going on for the week, not quite sure yet. Still mulling over what to do. But as usual, I’m a professional so you know it’ll be fuckin great. I may tell some nasty jokes, I was gonna do that last week but...And I got a couple of new horror movies I may wanna review. I guess you’ll just have to come back every day so you can find out. 

Well, I guess that’s about it for the day. I think I’ve covered everything that needs to be covered. Be sure and check back everyday so you can be up to date with our posts. Until tomorrow, take care, stay a-scared and I am out. Later taters!

DRUNK ZOMBIES AND HORNY WEREWOLVES BY: ZOMBIE ZANE

Hello Dead End Horror goats that hang with people you hate to make yourselves feel cooler. So, how’s that shit workin’ out for ya? Douche bags. Anyway, what a weekend here at DEH. (Dead End Horror) Needless to say, I’m a little worse for wear. This weekend the booze was flowin’, the nudity was plenty, (thanks in part to the very drunk and half nekkid Sasha Slaughter) and my poor New York Football Giants suffered a very heart breaking loss in the Bay Area. So pardon me if I am not in the best of moods. On a positive note, I continue to kick serious ass in fantasy football. I won by huge margins in both my leagues. But again, not here to discuss sports. Let’s get to today’s post, yes?

So this week at DEH, Sasha and I are gonna just do a bit of whatever. Oh don’t worry, it’ll be good. When is it ever not? I mean HULLO! We are the horror blog with the most swagger. Often imitated but never, EVER duplicated. Believe that shit!

I’m thinking that I may just do like three movies. I still have some shit on my DVR that I wanna watch. It’s some old-school Vincent Price shit too. Like, ‘The Tingler’ or I got ‘House of Wax’ or maybe I may do another installment of “Horror’s Hottest Boobs.” That seemed to go over pretty well. Maybe Sasha will contribute this time...Oh well, one can hope. But whatever I do, it’ll be sure to melt your butter.

As far as Sasha, not sure what she’s got on the slab. She may wanna do some ‘Fear Itself’ or she may wanna do some ‘Masters of Horror.’ Hell, she may wanna do both. Or she may wanna do none of the above and do all movies. Hard to know with that one. For all I know she may be planning another one of her well oiled midget and Ouija board parties. Those are quite fun! But in any case, you’ll just have to check back this week to see what’s what.  

Well sheep, I guess that’s all I got for you today. Be sure and check back this week to see what’s good. So until then, take care, stay a-scared and I am out. Peace peace and I will always conquer the haters grease! Fuck you, you fake ass freak shows. You know who you are.

WE'RE BAAAAACK MOTHERFUCKERS BY: ZOMBIE ZANE

Hello Dead End Horror sheep that dress up like stinky cops and hang with backwood butt-fucks. Did ya think we weren’t coming back? Sasha and I decided after our taxing Halloween that we’d take the rest of the week to kinda recover. After all we did raise the dead and we managed to get in a lesbian witch orgy. So needless to say our Halloween was quite busy.

But we are back and we will have some good shit coming out to ya this week. Pretty much we're just gonna have some fun. I may decide to wear a purple thong and smear peanut butter all over my prone, naked body. Or maybe Sasha will wear a thong and smear peanut butter all over her naked body...Maybe we both will...But in any case, you are sure to be entertained.

I got some shit left over on my DVR from Halloween I may wanna watch and yap about, I also have a couple of movie sets that I haven’t opened yet and some of the films in there look pretty promising. So best I can tell you is just to stay tuned and check back throughout the week.

I guess that’s all I got for now. So until next time, take care, stay a-scared and I am out! Peace peace and gross, nasty KFC eating cop grease!

OH NO!! ZOMBIE ZANE'S HAUNTED DINGUS IS IN MY HOUSE! By: SASHA SLAUGHTER

Hey there guys and ghouls! It's October and here at Dead End Horror we'll be bringing you spooktacular things all month long!! Speaking of spooky, this week I'll be reviewing some haunted house themed movies...yay! So lets go explore some things that go bump in the night with my first review of the movie, “Hallettsville.”  *The movie actually takes place in Hallettsville, Texas for those of you who don't know*

The movie was written and directed by Andrew Pozza and it was based on a story by Derek Lee Nixon, who stars in the movie as Tyler Jensen. “Hallettsville” came out in March of ‘09 and also stars a little actor you may have heard of named Gary Busey. In my opinion he's a total creeper and he freaks me out, but whatev. So let's do this!!

The movie begins in 1901 in the town of Hallettsville, Texas. A school house full of kids are slaughtered by their teacher. Fast forward to the present day at a funeral for Hannah Myers, Tyler Jensen's grandmother. He is remembering her as she was when she was alive. While the minister is talking he is having strange flashbacks of her telling Tyler as a child that "it ends with you".

After the ceremony he meets up with his old high school friends and thanks them for showing up to support him. Later that day he is talking to his mom when he finds a folder with a deed to house in it. He asks his mother why they can't keep his grandmothers ranch and she tells him the property taxes would be too high and then she tells him she has bad memories from there as she has a flashback of finding her big brother dying in the grass.

He falls asleep and has a dream about a demon being in his room as a child. He is awakened by his ex girlfriend April coming into his room. She tells him that she wants to talk about their relationship and about taking her back. He tells her no and she leaves. The next day he asks his mom if he can use the ranch for spring break and have his friends come to the house for the weekend. 

 She tells him no at first and then tells him she will think about it. While out at a bar, Tyler begins to think about April and he calls her and says they need to talk. They meet on a bridge and he tells her they'll get back together as long as she never hurts him again and she agrees. That night Tyler calls all of his friends and invites them to his grandmothers ranch for the weekend.

The next day they all meet at Tyler's house and pile into Luke's truck and leave for the weekend. On the way to the ranch they are stopped by the town cop (played by Gary Busey). He asks why they are speeding and tells him that he lives in a quiet town and he expects to keep it that way. They arrive at the house and shortly after some of Tyler's friends begin hearing strange noises and seeing children out of the corner of their eye.

Later that night while they are sitting around a fire, Tyler begins to tell them the story of a school house that was on his grandmothers property. He tells them that all of the school children were murdered by their teacher named Adam. He says that their school teacher was ill and while dying was visited by a strange man whom he told he would do anything to stay alive. Shortly after Adam returned to teaching and began going into convulsions on the floor before murdering all of his students. He then tells his friends that the man was possessed. They didn't believe him and said that his story didn't make sense.

That night while brushing his teeth, Tyler sees a face in the mirror just as the power goes out. Just before the power comes back on, Mark, one of Tyler's friends, is in the kitchen when the demon appears behind him and disappears when the power comes back on. The next day Tyler's friend Jonathan comes to him and tells him that he wants to go home because strange things are happening to him and it's freaking him out.

Tyler agrees to take him home later that day. As Tyler and his friends are leaving for a fishing trip, April tries telling Tyler that she needs to talk to him and it's important. He brushes her off when she finally tells him that she's pregnant. They go into the woods and argue and leave Jonathan in the house by himself. He sees a little girl in the living room in front of him. He takes the keys to the truck and leaves. On his way into town he sees a dog in the middle of the road. He swerves to miss it and wrecks the truck. He hears voices and sees children all around him. He hears screaming and is sitting against the truck when a hand grabs his head and pulls him away.

After finding out that April is pregnant, Tyler insists that they pack their things and leave to talk in private. They reach the house and realize that the truck and Jonathan are missing. Meanwhile, Mark and his friend are in a boat on the water fishing when they feel something rocking the boat.

They get quiet and Mark thinks it's a crocodile. He dives into the water to investigate and comes up a few minutes late with his mouth full of blood and tells his friend to go. She paddles to the shore and runs into the woods where she finds some sort of altar and dead animals hanging from trees. When April and Tyler realize that Jonathan is gone, they go looking for him and they find the wrecked truck and no sign of Jonathan except his bloody cell phone. They eventually find Jonathan a short time later hanging from a tree.

Tyler, April, Candice, and Luke meet up at the house and decide to get weapons and go to the nearest neighbor. While in the shed looking for an axe, Tyler is attacked by ghost children. He calls out for April to help and when she finds him he is thrashing in the air. She helps him up and they go into the house. In the basement looking for weapons, Candice and Luke hear animal like noises and quickly leave the basement.

Candice makes it out but Luke gets pulled back down the stairs. Tyler comes in and tells them to stand back while he checks the basement. He finds Luke all bloody and chopped up. They run out of the house and find the neighbors a half mile down the road and ask for help. The neighbor calls the sheriff and tells him to get there as soon as possible. The sheriff arrives and questions Tyler, April, and Candice about what happened. They tell him about their friend and how someone or something killed them.

While in the basement Candice found some sort of journal and is trying to figure out what it means. The sheriff talks to the neighbors and they tell him that they have seen and heard unnatural things, and that they believe the kids. While looking at the book, Candice tells Tyler that Adam, the man who killed the children, has to make sacrificial offerings to stay alive and he has to kill the first born of every generation of his own blood. Tyler then realizes that he is a direct relative of Adam and that he's coming for him.

The sheriff orders them to show him where the bodies are and if they refuse they will be considered suspects. Candice and April take the sheriff back to the house to find Luke's body in the basement. The sheriff goes into the basement and finds blood but no body. On his way out, he is attacked by the ghost children and escapes. Tyler takes two deputies in the woods to find Jonathan's body. They begin hearing animal like noises behind them. The demon appears and kills both deputies before taking Tyler's body back to an altar in the woods and then...

What will that nasty demon do??? Why don't you check out Hallettsville on Netflix and find out!!! The movie sort of sounded good in the description, but it really wasn't that good. In fact, it was kind of bad!! The dialogue was horrible and the acting was ridiculous. The plot was something I've seen a hundred times and of course no movie would be complete without kids running through the woods all scared and hopeless. BORING!!!

That was kind of a waste of 87 minutes. And Gary Busey did nothing for that movie. He was all weird and crazy and I really wasn't a fan of his drug hazed acting...is he on drugs?? He sure as hell seems like it.

And the montage scenes!! UGHH!! I swear the last idk..fourth of that movie was nothing but one giant montage. It was horrible! And the ending was just silly. I've also seen that about a hundred times. Overall I'd give Hallettsville a 2.5 out of 5.

Sasha Slaughter

Like I said, the plot sucked and just about everything about this movie sucked. Although I will say that the little ghost kids and the demon thing was actually creepy. That was the best part of that movie...well, that and the end were the best part. You know, when the movie is over?? BOOO! Anyway, that's all I have to say about that. So how about you go and check out what Zane's got going on? You know you wanna look!

THESE WICKED LITTLE THINGS WOULD LIKE TO EAT YOUR INSIDES By: SASHA SLAUGHTER

Hey hey hey!! What is going on you horror loving creepers?? Sasha Slaughter here with you for the final day of random stuff week. It's over already!!! Boo!!! But never fear, it'll be back again soon, I'm almost sure of it. So today I'll be reviewing a movie called Wicked Little Things. It was suggested to me by Zane, so it better be good!!! =).

Wicked Little Things was directed by J.S. Cardone (Who directed Prom Night, The Covenant, The Forsaken and many others). It was written by Boaz Davidson (Story) and Ben Nedivi (Screenplay). And here's a little fun fact, Tobe Hooper was originally chosen to direct Wicked Little Things, but he dropped out to direct Mortuary. Also, Cardone renamed the film to Wicked Little Things as it was originally titled Zombies. The movie is set in Pennsylvania (Hey, I know that place!) but was actually filmed in the mountains of Bulgaria. And one last tidbit of info for you, this film debuted as one of eight films that make up the horror movie festival 8 Films to Die for. So let's get on with the review huh??

 In 1913 in Carlton, Pennsylvania the cruel owner of Carlton mine exploited poor young children and made them explore the mines. After an explosion in the mine, a group of children were buried alive. 90 years later in the present day Karen Tunny has decided to move her and her two daughters, Sarah and Emma, into her husbands old house that she inherited when he died recently. The house she inherits is located close to the abandoned Carlton Mine.

 They get to the house and find what appears to be blood smeared on their front door. That night while in bed, Karen has a strange dream about a child from the mine that comes into the room and stabs her. Later the next day, Karen asks Sarah to get a few things in town. She meets a few kids her age and when she tells them where she lives, Shawn replies "Up where the fucking zombies are?".

Shortly after, Sarah leaves to get groceries and her little sister disappears into the woods. Karen is in the basement with the plumber when she hears noises and goes upstairs to find Emma missing. Karen searches the woods and eventually finds Emma standing in front of the abandoned Carlton Mine. Karen makes her promise to never go there again and when they try to find their way home, they get lost.

They find a house in the woods and go inside. Mr. Hanks appears a few moments later and tells them that they shouldn't be outside at night and tells Emma not to go near the mines anymore. He tells them the way to get home and tells her not thanks necessary for the blood on her door. She begins to tell him not to do it anymore but he tells them that they need to get home right away and to come back in the day time and they'll talk.

Later that night when Emma is in bed and Sarah is out with her friends, Karen goes into the basement to read the articles she found about the Carlton Mine explosion. Outside she can hear voices and whispering. The children that were killed in the mine explosion are outside of her house but when they smell the blood on the door they turn around and leave. Karen goes upstairs but doesn't see anything except her front door hanging open. That night Mr. Hanks is at the old Carlton mansion with a pig that he sacrifices for the cannibalistic children so they leave him alone.

When Sarah arrives home her mother shows her old family albums and pictures of her father and his family. She tells Sarah that she had no idea he had family in Pennsylvania because when she tried to talk about he would change the subject. She says it's as if he kept the family a secret. The next day while looking for a plumber Karen runs into William Carlton at the store. The owner of the store tells her that he's there to survey the land because he wants to tear down the Carlton mansion and built a ski resort.                                                                 

                                                                                         
The zombie-like children continue to kill and the community dismisses it as simple disappearances. Although it is hinted that most of the community is well aware of the presence of the "children". Karen sees Emma standing at the edge of the woods when she hears voices. She goes into the woods to investigate and sees cars at the old Carlton mansion. She goes inside looking for William Carlton. He finds her in one of the rooms and tells her to get off of his property. She informs that she lives just down the road and he asks if she is the Tunny widow.

She says yes and tells her that she has 2 weeks to vacate the land because he owns it. She says she has a deed and he tells her that it's a miners deed and it doesn't mean anything. Karen goes to talk to Mr. Hanks and he confirms that Carlton owns all of the land. He tells her the only way for her to own the house is if Carlton dies, and then the miners deed kicks in. Later that night while Sarah is with her friends Karen discovers a photo album with pictures of the children that were killed in the mine explosion. She recognizes two of the children named Ryan and Mary Tunny and realizes that they are related to her late husband.

While Sarah and her friends are parked on a road drinking and talking, the zombie children find their car. At first the car is rocked back and forth. Shawn gets out to see what is happening when he's dragged away from the car. Tim gets in the drivers seat and tries to leave, but the car gets stuck in the mud. He gets out and tries to push it when some of the zombie children attack and kill him.

                                                                         
They break the car windows and take Sarah's friend Lisa and they try to take Sarah. She gets the car unstuck and drives back her house. She tells her mom that the children are real and that they killed her friends. They both realize that Emma is missing and Karen says that she is probably at the mine again. They go looking for her in the mine but can't find her. As they come out of the mine, they are surrounded by children.

Karen tells Sarah to run and they take off into the woods. They run onto the road and find a car and get in. When they get into the car they realize it's William Carlton. She tells them to drive or the children will kill them. Just as she says this the tires are flattened before they can pull away. Karen and Sarah get out and run to Mr. Hanks house.

Carlton arrives at Mr. Hanks shortly after Karen and Sarah and they let him in. The children start trying to break into the house. Hanks and Carlton try shooting the children and find that it's ineffective. Hanks, Sarah, and Karen get in a truck and try to escape, but when it won't start they run into the barn. They go in the barn to find that Carlton is in there also hiding from the children.

 Hank suddenly realizes he and Emma are direct blood relatives, and it turns out that Mary has an older brother who was also a Tunny, and Karen is in some way protected by Emma's relationship with Mary. Just as the children break into the barn he tells them not to move because he doesn't know what they'll do. It's then that he realizes that it's Carlton they are after because they are looking for revenge because his family caused the mining accident that killed them. The children find Carlton in the barn and kill him. Karen hears Emma calling for her outside and she goes to her. Emma tells her that the children won't hurt anyone anymore and then.......

And then???? Well if you want to know maybe you should hop on over to Netflix and watch Wicked Little Things. Ya know, I kind of liked this movie. And the only reason I liked it is because of those creepy little black eyed, blood smeared, cannibalistic zombie children. RAWR!! Ya'll know I love me some zombies!!

I mean granted it does have a good bit of the usual cliches that a lot of horror movies have (Cell phones don't work, fumbling/dropping the keys, tripping and falling while running and proceeding to say you can't run anymore, dying flashlight, youngest kid befriends ghost and everyone chalks it up to an imaginary friend). It's got the whole shebang of typical things that happen in horror films. But it's all gravy baby!! That doesn't mean that it's not good! The acting was great, there was a good bit of blood thanks to the zombie children for eating a poor innocent piggy and chomping on a few peoples insides.

Overall I'd give Wicked Little Things a 3 out of 5. Yeah, you've seen movies like this before yadda yadda, but they're still good. The plot was great and the zombie children were hella creepy! I mean their black eyes and how they gnawed on peoples insides, they were mean little kiddies! What I didn't like was the a lot of the movie was dark. Yeah, I guess some of it was for effect but yeesh, lighten up! =) Now you know my thoughts about that, now you can go check out Zombie Zane's stuff. He wants you to look at it! And of course, thanks for stopping by and check back next week for new stuff at Dead End Horror.

Sasha 'Deadgirl' Slaughter

MY CHEESIES WERE BETTER THAN THIS MOVIE!!! By: SASHA SLAUGHTER

Ohh yes, it's that time once again creeps and creepettes!! Ready to have your minds blown by our awesomeness, yet again? Ok, so this week is going to be random stuff week. YAY!! That's my favorite really. It means I can do what I want and Zane can't boss me! Hahaha!! Whatever, whatever, I'll do what I want I'll...Ehh never mind. So in lieu of this being random stuff week, I'm going to be telling you about a movie called Dark Town. I bought a 4 pack of DVD's at Wal Mart (Man, I loves me some Wal Mart) and Dark Town was in the set. It was released in 2004 and was directed by Desi Scarpone and written by David Birke. And stars absolutely no one I know. So let's get it!

So basically it goes like this: It's Curtis Armstrong's birthday and his family wants to celebrate. With Curtis out of the house, the family decides to decorate. Curtis's son Curtis Jr. and his pregnant wife Ellen arrive to begin the festivities. The only people missing is Curtis (Who is a slumlord and is kicking squatters out of one of his properties. But little does he know that the squatters are vampires from Bosnia. And his daughter Jen, who is living with her lover named Lisa and avoiding her family at all costs). Meanwhile in the ghetto, Rakeem and his friends are cruising around when he sees his sister with a rival gang member. They pull up to get his sister Tisha when a local drug dealer named Cinque arrives. He wants money from Tisha's boyfriend and when he refuses gunshots are fired and everyone scatters. Cinque then calls Heather, Curtis Armstrong's daughter, to tell her he has some "green" for her to hide.

                                                                             
A little while later, Rakeem and his friends are hanging out in front of a building owned by Armstrong and Rakeem believes that Armstrong is responsible for the death of his younger brother due to his negligence involving a fire that killed him. All of the sudden everyone hears a scream and the gang rushes to investigate. They rush into an alley and find a man with no head. People were spreading rumors that the headless man was from Bosnia. When Rakeem hears on the street that Cinque is with Heather Armstrong, Rakeem decides to visit the Armstrong's to extract some revenge for the death of his brother. Meanwhile, back at the Armstrong's, the neighborhood is pitch black and no one can figure out why. Curtis has just arrived home but is acting very strangely and no one knows why. His wife and son ask why he is acting so strange and he tells them to take a sip from his thermos and they'll know why. (Spoiler alert..It's not booze or coffee...It's red and sticky).                                                               

                                                                       
Curtis orders his wife to go get Ellen, his sons wife. Sandy returns with Ellen and he puts his hand on her bulging stomach. Ellen immediately begins bleeding and Sandy takes her back to lay down. Heather goes out to the garage to smoke and her dad comes out and bites her neck. He then kidnaps Ellen and takes her to a field and pulls her baby out of her. Back at the house Curtis Jr. finds a duffel bag his father left on the bed. He opens it and finds a severed head inside. That's when the horror begins. Just then Jen and Lisa arrive for the birthday celebration. Rakeem and his gang run into some neighborhood do-gooders and are held at gunpoint. The gun goes off and hits one of Rakeem's friends. They take their friend into the Armstrong's home for shelter. Bad move. As soon as Rakeem's gang enter the house, Sandy starts vomiting blood and turning into a vampire and Heather is in her room munching on her boyfriend Cinuqe's insides. Curtis returns shortly after and forces Curtis Jr. to drink blood from Rakeems wounded friend.

                                                                                 
The whole entire neighborhood is involved and almost everyone is turned into a vampire except for Rakeem. Curtis turned his daughter Jen and Rakeem rescued her. They spend most of the movie trying not to get bitten or killed. They run into a crazy alcoholic stripper with whom Curtis was having an affair. She tells Jen to change her because Curtis tried and it wouldn't work. Jen is trying to not give in to her vampire instincts but it gets to be too much and she changes the stripper into a vampire. Rakeem finds Jen turning the stripper and tries to leave. As he tries, the stripper tries to attack and eat him. Rakeem pins her down while Jen stakes her in the heart and then rips it out. Eventually Rakeem is bitten and turns into a vampire and joins Jen and her family in feeding on their victims.

                                                                    
If you wanna know what happens, go to Wal Mart or buy the set somewhere else. But if I were you, I wouldn't even waste the time. This movie was AWFUL! Omigod! That's 90 minutes of my life I'll never get back! The plot was horrible, the acting was atrocious, and the quality of the movie was just bad. At times it looked like it was shot from someone’s cell phone. And the movie was kind of confusing. Ok, I'll admit, on rare occasions it's kind of easy to confuse me. But on that particular night and on that particular occasion, I was not easily confused. Trust me, I'm a professional. There were few boob shots (Nothing to get a boner over) and some weird half naked French chick that was the supposed mistress of the father in the movie. She was weird and I couldn't understand wtf she was saying most of the time.

                                                                             
Most of the music in the movie was gangster rap, and there were a lot of gangster types in the movie, which Idk, really didn't seem to fit. I don't know how else to describe this movie other than it was a total pile of fuck (I stole that from Zane). The eyes were creepy and fangs were creepy, but even that wasn't enough to save this movie. Overall I'd give Dark Town a 1.5 out of 5. It was a terrible and ridiculous movie. It one of those movies where it was  so bad it was almost good. Some parts of it made me laugh because it was just so terrible. The absolute best part of this movie was the cheesies I ate while I watched it. True story. So now you know how I feel about that, how about you hop on over and see what Zane's got going on?? Thanks for stopping by!!

CHEESIES!!!

                                                                               


                                                                                    

DRUNK & DEBAUCHEROUS BEHAVIORS...By: ZOMBIE ZANE

What’s good horror fans that love our shit and can’t wait to read more? Hope all had a very safe and debauchery filled Labor Day. I know here at Dead End Horror it was nothing but beer, vodka, mucho illegal substances and of course group sex.  That’s how we do here at The Horror. Sasha is such a bad influence on all of us.                                                      

                                                                  
Now before I get in today’s post, I gotta clear the air for a second.  It came to my attention that someone who reads this blog has been doing a bit of shit talking about your buddy Zombie Zane.  So, person who will remain nameless, one thing I gotta say...I’m gonna be dialing direct and  I may fuck around and use some foul and offensive language. So without further ado, this FUCK YOU is for you. Keep your stupid mouth shut you shit talking, down on all fours everynight, cocksucking, washed out hag.  Choke on it you stupid cunt! Choke on it!  You don't know me.  So keep your opinions and retarded comments to your fuckin' self.  Walk in my shoes, or get to know me first before you start runnin' that ignorant, cum receptacle, that you call a mouth.

                                                                     
There, now I feel a whole lot better about this situation.  Don’t you?

Now then, where was I? Oh yeah, today’s post. Today’s post is gonna be kinda a bit different. As you can tell from the above paragraph.  Sorry, I tend to wig.  In any case, today’s post is basically just gonna be a rundown of what we're gonna be doing this week at D.E.H. 

So here’s what we got on the docket for this week...This week is all about man versus beast.  This will totally be MAN vs. BEAST WEEK!! Hell to the yeah! Monster movies are fuckin’cool, yo! Anyway, the incredibly busty Sasha Slaughter will be giving her take on “Assault of the Sasquatch,” and “Blood Monkey.” Two pretty good man vs. beast films. So be sure and give her stuff a once over.  Or maybe a twice over.  She likes when you look at her stuff.  She does...trust me. I'm a professional.

As for me, your buddy Zombie Zane, I’m gonna be giving you a top five, or maybe a top ten list of some of the best man vs. beast type of films.  I’ll throw in my take on the film, “Grizzly Park,” and just for shits and giggles I’ll  educate you sheep on the movie, “The Breed.”

So we got bears, wild canines, and fuckin’ Sasquatch.  Add some killer apes to the mix and all in all not a bad week.  Not a bad week at all. So be sure and come back tomorrow and check us out.  After all, we are the horror blog with the most swagge.  And you ca believe that! On our worst day, our better is always, ALWAYS better than the other horror blogs better. 

So until next time, take care, stay a-scared and I am out!

3 WAY WITH A PARASITIC BUG...WHAT WHAT??!! By: SASHA SLAUGHTER

Hey now! What's good? Okay, this is another post by the busty Sasha Slaughter. Again, we're making some changes around here and as of now we're right on schedule. So as I've been saying, we'll have new shit on Monday so until then, hang tight and enjoy these re-posts. Thanks for your patience and we'll see you on the flip side! Mucho love-o, your buddy, Zombie Zane.

This time I'm telling the truth, this is the final day of random stuff month...I promise!! Sasha Slaughter here with you creeps for the final time this week to bring you one last day of totally random shit. Since I am the "series girl" (According to Zane) I'll be reviewing Masters of Horror episode 10: Sick Girl. It was directed by Lucky McKee and based on a story written by Mckee and Sean Hood.

Ida Teeter is a shy entomologist who has a wide variety of insects throughout her home, which happen to be the cause of her most recent break up from her girlfriend. Max Grubb, a fellow employee of Ida's, informs her that her obsession with her job is the reason why her lady friends never stick around very long. She is heartbroken by this and decides to try something different. She runs into the beautiful and strange Misty Falls, who sits in the lobby of McNaughton Museum of Natural History everyday and draws pixies on her sketch pad. She is instantly attracted to Misty and is enamored with the possibility of being with her, but her co worker tells her "Babes or bugs. You can't have both".

That same day a mysterious package shows up on Ida's doorstep. It is postmarked from Brazil and it contains a large mantis-like insect. The landlady knocks on Ida's door and says she is concerned with all of Ida's "pets" and asks her to please keep them in check. Later that night she examines the mantis-like creature and fondly names him Mick. She calls Max and tells him about the creature and leaves to go speak to him. Shortly after Ida leaves, Mick escaped from the plastic tank. The following day Ida finally gathers up the courage and asks Misty to dinner that night. Misty enthusiastically agrees and they go out do dinner at a Chinese restaurant. Misty then asks Ida if they can watch a movie called "Texas Pixies" on Ida's DVD player. Ida agrees but is worried what Misty would think of her large collection of bugs. Meanwhile, while they are on their date, Mick finds the Landlady's dog and drags it into one of Ida's bedroom pillows and eats it. Later on there are posters advertising the lost dog.                                      

 Ida shows Misty the apartment but makes sure to not let her see the bug collection. They drink bourbon and watch "Texas Pixies" together. They start getting closer but Ida sees one of her bugs, named Max, and rushes to put him back in the cage. When she comes back she sees that Misty has fallen asleep on the couch. She goes to the bedroom and gets a pillow (The one that Mick is hidden inside of) and puts it under Misty's head. She wakes up from her drunken slumber and realizes she is too drunk to drive. Ida allows Misty to stay the night. Misty returns the favor by stripping off her shirt and seducing Ida. Mick is still in the pillow and while Ida and Misty are together, Mick nips Misty's ear, but she dismisses it. Ida wakes up the following morning to find that Misty has found her vast bug collection and has a great interest in it. Ida also discovers that her favorite professor, the great Malcolm Wolf happens to be Misty's father.

Ida finally realizes that Mick has escaped and the two spend the morning searching the apartment for him. Ida describes the bug to Misty and Misty draws a picture for Ida. Ida leaves to take the drawing to Max, but Max doesn't take the matter seriously. Shortly after Ida leaves, Misty begins feeling pain in her right ear. She scratches it and finds a small sample of some foreign saliva and then suddenly becomes too weak to stand. Ida comes back from her meeting with Max and discovers that Misty brought her things with her and is starting to move in. Misty starts displaying strange and unusual tendencies, such as an appetite for Ida's bugs.

                                                                                                     

 While doing the laundry, Misty finds the pillow that Mick has been hiding and has the strange urge to lay next to it. While doing so, Mick comes out of the pillow and invades her incredibly chewed on ear. Ida gets a letter that same day and it seems almost apologetic in nature, which she suspects is from Malcolm Wolf. The letter explains that the insect could be dangerous. Ida finds Misty in the hallway and Misty grabs her for a passionate kiss in front of the landlady and her young granddaughter. She is disgusted by the display and berates the two women before giving them two weeks to pack their things and move out. When they get back into the apartment, Ida tells Misty that she is horrified by her strange behavior and crude remarks to the landlady. Misty goes into a rage and then passes out. Upon waking up Misty tells Ida about a fairytale-like dream where she was a fairy resting on a lily pad. She then encountered a beautiful bug, whom she described as Mick. She tells Ida that he landed on her and inserted his proboscis into her navel and inserted "his juices" into her. The phone rings and it's Max asking Ida to come to the lab immediately.

When she arrives at the lab Max tells her everything about the bug from Brazil. He tells her that the bug is found inhabiting the nests of birds and other animals where it behaves like a parasite. It inserts its proboscis into the animal and drinks its blood while at the same time invading the hosts reproductive DNA and making the host carry out the insects young. Max insists that its funny, but Ida is terrified that Misty had in fact been bitten by the bug. Back at the apartment the bug inseminates Misty during a sexual encounter. Misty leaves the apartment and finds an eviction notice stapled to the door. She sees the landlady and says crude and offensive things to her. The landlady is revolted, calling Misty a monster when Misty morphs two insect eyes, and the terrified landlady falls over the stairway to her death.
                                            

Ida returns home to see the corpse of her landlady being wheeled away by medics. Misty tries to make light of the situation in front of Betty, the landlady's granddaughter. Ida is repulsed that Misty would do such a thing and calls Max over to her apartment. Ida finds Misty in the bathtub and she reveals to Ida that the bug has been in a pillow the whole time. Ida is almost convinced that the insect has bitten Misty when Misty reveals a secret. She tells Ida that her father, Malcolm Wolf, sent the insect to Ida in hopes that it would bite her and make her repulsive to Misty. Misty gets out of the tub and morphs into a human-bug monster. Ida begins screaming and Max breaks into the apartment only to be instantly killed by Misty. While Ida is laying on the floor, Mick scurries over to her and....

What does the creepy little bug to do poor Ida?? If you wanna know that badly, watch Sick Girl and find out!! Now, I'm too sure about this episode. I mean, the people in it were weird. Ida was incredibly awkward and Misty was strange too. The acting was definitely over the top, although I think it was meant to be a little campy. There really wasn't much blood, no nekkidness (And you'd think you'd see some cuz there were some sensual lesbian moments...but noooo) and like 2 death scenes. Ehh. The bug looked kinda creepy, I'd spaz if I found something like that gnawing on my ear, that's for sure. And Ida's voice was the absolute most annoying thing ever...OMG!! She kind of sounds like Kat Von D, but more aggravating, if that makes any sense. It was just awful. The whole episode was insanely cheesy, especially the end. I think overall I'd give Sick Girl a 2 out of 5. Definitely not my fave MOH episode. I won't be watching this episode again, even if you paid me. Now that that’s over with, how about you stop by and see what Zombie Zane is up to. I hear he blogs wearing nothing but a smile!!! Thanks for stopping by and as always, check back next week for all new stuff here at Dead End Horror.

                                                                                           

Sasha Slaughter and ???

                                                                                           

TOP 5 REASONS WHY I LOVE ZOMBIES By: SASHA SLAUGHTER

BRAINS!!!!!!!!!!! Hey there!! Sasha Slaughter here with you for the final time this week and for the final day of random stuff month. Since I reviewed a zombie movie yesterday, I figured why not stay with the zombie theme. So, I'm going to list the top 5 reasons why I love zombies. I guess that kinda explains the whole "BRAINS" opening a little better huh?? I've always been fascinated by zombies, ever since I was a teenager and saw "Night of the Living Dead" (The original) for the first time. After that I was hooked. I don't know what their appeal is to me, but zombies are hands down my favorite monster. RAWR!!! So kick back and enjoy top 5 reasons why I love zombies!!!                    
                                                                               

5.) They fuck shit up. They cause chaos, panic, and disorder. Think about it, in most movies when a zombie apocalypse happens, the whole entire world seemingly shuts down. People leave, they kill themselves out of fear, they end up becoming the very thing they are afraid of or they man the hell up and try to survive. In almost every zombie movie I've ever seen, entire populations are wiped out or they flee somewhere else to get away from the zombies. With all of the chaos and death happening, would you be able to survive a zombie apocalypse? Would you be able to stay calm and get out alive or would you fall victim to the zombies?? I myself don’t do so well with chaos or panic, I'd probably never make it out alive. So I'm really hoping I never have to live through a zombie invasion. Because my pasty white Yankee ass would perish...quickly.                                  
                                                                        

4). All they wanna do is eat your brains..or whatever else they can sink their rotting teeth into. They don't care who you are, where you live, or if they knew you before they died and then became undead. All they wanna do is eat you. They'll munch on your flesh, slurp up your brains and occasionally eat your intestines like spaghetti. Zombies are bad mamma jammas.
 
3.) I find humor in zombies. The whole concept of being undead and being ravenous for brains is funny to me. You gotta admit, sometimes the zombies in movies do some pretty funny shit. It's especially funny when they make noises. You know, the standard zombie moaning noises. It always cracks me up when they do that. There's just a quality about them that never ceases to amuse me. They could be coming for my brains, and if they make funny noises while doing so, yeah, I'm gonna laugh.

    
 

2.) They can be killed....but only by destroying their brains or decapitating them. No stakes in the heart or strings of garlic will keep these flesh hungry stalkers down. You gotta go straight for the thinker if you wanna survive the zombie invasion. Get your guns or axes, whatever you can use to split a zombies head open with. That's your only guaranteed way to survive the undead.

1.) Zombies aren't vampires. I'm not crazy about vampires, but I don't hate them either. OK, I'll admit, I'm kind of obsessed with Twilight (I'm a chick, whattya want from me??). But like the movie said, vampires do kind of suck. Especially the new ones. They only drink from animals, they can come out in the daylight and to top it all off, they sparkle in the sun!!! WHAT? But with zombies, they've pretty much stayed true to how they've always been described. Zombies don't sparkle, they can come out whenever the hell they want, and screw animal blood, they want human brains!!! And honestly, who do you think would win in a zombie vs vampire battle royal?? No, vampires don't have blood, but they've got some tasty brains for the zombies to devour. And yeah, the vampires are smarter and faster, but zombies are obviously the more superior monster, to me at least.                      
                                                 
So there you have it, my top 5 reasons for loving zombies. I maybe could have thought of more, but that could have taken a while. Making that list took a lot longer than you'd think. Most of the time I sat staring at the computer screen mouth breathing a little. =) But I got it done. If you're a zombie lover like me, or you at least think they're cool, hopefully you could relate to some of the reasons why I effin love zombies so much! Thanks for wasting your time with me! And while you're here, how about you go waste some of your time with Zane too!! And as always, check back tomorrow for new stuff here at Dead End Horror. 
                                                                                   

Sasha Slaughter