So basically it goes like this: It's Curtis Armstrong's birthday and his family wants to celebrate. With Curtis out of the house, the family decides to decorate. Curtis's son Curtis Jr. and his pregnant wife Ellen arrive to begin the festivities. The only people missing is Curtis (Who is a slumlord and is kicking squatters out of one of his properties. But little does he know that the squatters are vampires from Bosnia. And his daughter Jen, who is living with her lover named Lisa and avoiding her family at all costs). Meanwhile in the ghetto, Rakeem and his friends are cruising around when he sees his sister with a rival gang member. They pull up to get his sister Tisha when a local drug dealer named Cinque arrives. He wants money from Tisha's boyfriend and when he refuses gunshots are fired and everyone scatters. Cinque then calls Heather, Curtis Armstrong's daughter, to tell her he has some "green" for her to hide.
A little while later, Rakeem and his friends are hanging out in front of a building owned by Armstrong and Rakeem believes that Armstrong is responsible for the death of his younger brother due to his negligence involving a fire that killed him. All of the sudden everyone hears a scream and the gang rushes to investigate. They rush into an alley and find a man with no head. People were spreading rumors that the headless man was from Bosnia. When Rakeem hears on the street that Cinque is with Heather Armstrong, Rakeem decides to visit the Armstrong's to extract some revenge for the death of his brother. Meanwhile, back at the Armstrong's, the neighborhood is pitch black and no one can figure out why. Curtis has just arrived home but is acting very strangely and no one knows why. His wife and son ask why he is acting so strange and he tells them to take a sip from his thermos and they'll know why. (Spoiler alert..It's not booze or coffee...It's red and sticky).
Curtis orders his wife to go get Ellen, his sons wife. Sandy returns with Ellen and he puts his hand on her bulging stomach. Ellen immediately begins bleeding and Sandy takes her back to lay down. Heather goes out to the garage to smoke and her dad comes out and bites her neck. He then kidnaps Ellen and takes her to a field and pulls her baby out of her. Back at the house Curtis Jr. finds a duffel bag his father left on the bed. He opens it and finds a severed head inside. That's when the horror begins. Just then Jen and Lisa arrive for the birthday celebration. Rakeem and his gang run into some neighborhood do-gooders and are held at gunpoint. The gun goes off and hits one of Rakeem's friends. They take their friend into the Armstrong's home for shelter. Bad move. As soon as Rakeem's gang enter the house, Sandy starts vomiting blood and turning into a vampire and Heather is in her room munching on her boyfriend Cinuqe's insides. Curtis returns shortly after and forces Curtis Jr. to drink blood from Rakeems wounded friend.
The whole entire neighborhood is involved and almost everyone is turned into a vampire except for Rakeem. Curtis turned his daughter Jen and Rakeem rescued her. They spend most of the movie trying not to get bitten or killed. They run into a crazy alcoholic stripper with whom Curtis was having an affair. She tells Jen to change her because Curtis tried and it wouldn't work. Jen is trying to not give in to her vampire instincts but it gets to be too much and she changes the stripper into a vampire. Rakeem finds Jen turning the stripper and tries to leave. As he tries, the stripper tries to attack and eat him. Rakeem pins her down while Jen stakes her in the heart and then rips it out. Eventually Rakeem is bitten and turns into a vampire and joins Jen and her family in feeding on their victims.
If you wanna know what happens, go to Wal Mart or buy the set somewhere else. But if I were you, I wouldn't even waste the time. This movie was AWFUL! Omigod! That's 90 minutes of my life I'll never get back! The plot was horrible, the acting was atrocious, and the quality of the movie was just bad. At times it looked like it was shot from someone’s cell phone. And the movie was kind of confusing. Ok, I'll admit, on rare occasions it's kind of easy to confuse me. But on that particular night and on that particular occasion, I was not easily confused. Trust me, I'm a professional. There were few boob shots (Nothing to get a boner over) and some weird half naked French chick that was the supposed mistress of the father in the movie. She was weird and I couldn't understand wtf she was saying most of the time.
Most of the music in the movie was gangster rap, and there were a lot of gangster types in the movie, which Idk, really didn't seem to fit. I don't know how else to describe this movie other than it was a total pile of fuck (I stole that from Zane). The eyes were creepy and fangs were creepy, but even that wasn't enough to save this movie. Overall I'd give Dark Town a 1.5 out of 5. It was a terrible and ridiculous movie. It one of those movies where it was so bad it was almost good. Some parts of it made me laugh because it was just so terrible. The absolute best part of this movie was the cheesies I ate while I watched it. True story. So now you know how I feel about that, how about you hop on over and see what Zane's got going on?? Thanks for stopping by!!
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| CHEESIES!!! |
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