OH NO!! ZOMBIE ZANE'S HAUNTED DINGUS IS IN MY HOUSE! By: SASHA SLAUGHTER

Hey there guys and ghouls! It's October and here at Dead End Horror we'll be bringing you spooktacular things all month long!! Speaking of spooky, this week I'll be reviewing some haunted house themed movies...yay! So lets go explore some things that go bump in the night with my first review of the movie, “Hallettsville.”  *The movie actually takes place in Hallettsville, Texas for those of you who don't know*

The movie was written and directed by Andrew Pozza and it was based on a story by Derek Lee Nixon, who stars in the movie as Tyler Jensen. “Hallettsville” came out in March of ‘09 and also stars a little actor you may have heard of named Gary Busey. In my opinion he's a total creeper and he freaks me out, but whatev. So let's do this!!

The movie begins in 1901 in the town of Hallettsville, Texas. A school house full of kids are slaughtered by their teacher. Fast forward to the present day at a funeral for Hannah Myers, Tyler Jensen's grandmother. He is remembering her as she was when she was alive. While the minister is talking he is having strange flashbacks of her telling Tyler as a child that "it ends with you".

After the ceremony he meets up with his old high school friends and thanks them for showing up to support him. Later that day he is talking to his mom when he finds a folder with a deed to house in it. He asks his mother why they can't keep his grandmothers ranch and she tells him the property taxes would be too high and then she tells him she has bad memories from there as she has a flashback of finding her big brother dying in the grass.

He falls asleep and has a dream about a demon being in his room as a child. He is awakened by his ex girlfriend April coming into his room. She tells him that she wants to talk about their relationship and about taking her back. He tells her no and she leaves. The next day he asks his mom if he can use the ranch for spring break and have his friends come to the house for the weekend. 

 She tells him no at first and then tells him she will think about it. While out at a bar, Tyler begins to think about April and he calls her and says they need to talk. They meet on a bridge and he tells her they'll get back together as long as she never hurts him again and she agrees. That night Tyler calls all of his friends and invites them to his grandmothers ranch for the weekend.

The next day they all meet at Tyler's house and pile into Luke's truck and leave for the weekend. On the way to the ranch they are stopped by the town cop (played by Gary Busey). He asks why they are speeding and tells him that he lives in a quiet town and he expects to keep it that way. They arrive at the house and shortly after some of Tyler's friends begin hearing strange noises and seeing children out of the corner of their eye.

Later that night while they are sitting around a fire, Tyler begins to tell them the story of a school house that was on his grandmothers property. He tells them that all of the school children were murdered by their teacher named Adam. He says that their school teacher was ill and while dying was visited by a strange man whom he told he would do anything to stay alive. Shortly after Adam returned to teaching and began going into convulsions on the floor before murdering all of his students. He then tells his friends that the man was possessed. They didn't believe him and said that his story didn't make sense.

That night while brushing his teeth, Tyler sees a face in the mirror just as the power goes out. Just before the power comes back on, Mark, one of Tyler's friends, is in the kitchen when the demon appears behind him and disappears when the power comes back on. The next day Tyler's friend Jonathan comes to him and tells him that he wants to go home because strange things are happening to him and it's freaking him out.

Tyler agrees to take him home later that day. As Tyler and his friends are leaving for a fishing trip, April tries telling Tyler that she needs to talk to him and it's important. He brushes her off when she finally tells him that she's pregnant. They go into the woods and argue and leave Jonathan in the house by himself. He sees a little girl in the living room in front of him. He takes the keys to the truck and leaves. On his way into town he sees a dog in the middle of the road. He swerves to miss it and wrecks the truck. He hears voices and sees children all around him. He hears screaming and is sitting against the truck when a hand grabs his head and pulls him away.

After finding out that April is pregnant, Tyler insists that they pack their things and leave to talk in private. They reach the house and realize that the truck and Jonathan are missing. Meanwhile, Mark and his friend are in a boat on the water fishing when they feel something rocking the boat.

They get quiet and Mark thinks it's a crocodile. He dives into the water to investigate and comes up a few minutes late with his mouth full of blood and tells his friend to go. She paddles to the shore and runs into the woods where she finds some sort of altar and dead animals hanging from trees. When April and Tyler realize that Jonathan is gone, they go looking for him and they find the wrecked truck and no sign of Jonathan except his bloody cell phone. They eventually find Jonathan a short time later hanging from a tree.

Tyler, April, Candice, and Luke meet up at the house and decide to get weapons and go to the nearest neighbor. While in the shed looking for an axe, Tyler is attacked by ghost children. He calls out for April to help and when she finds him he is thrashing in the air. She helps him up and they go into the house. In the basement looking for weapons, Candice and Luke hear animal like noises and quickly leave the basement.

Candice makes it out but Luke gets pulled back down the stairs. Tyler comes in and tells them to stand back while he checks the basement. He finds Luke all bloody and chopped up. They run out of the house and find the neighbors a half mile down the road and ask for help. The neighbor calls the sheriff and tells him to get there as soon as possible. The sheriff arrives and questions Tyler, April, and Candice about what happened. They tell him about their friend and how someone or something killed them.

While in the basement Candice found some sort of journal and is trying to figure out what it means. The sheriff talks to the neighbors and they tell him that they have seen and heard unnatural things, and that they believe the kids. While looking at the book, Candice tells Tyler that Adam, the man who killed the children, has to make sacrificial offerings to stay alive and he has to kill the first born of every generation of his own blood. Tyler then realizes that he is a direct relative of Adam and that he's coming for him.

The sheriff orders them to show him where the bodies are and if they refuse they will be considered suspects. Candice and April take the sheriff back to the house to find Luke's body in the basement. The sheriff goes into the basement and finds blood but no body. On his way out, he is attacked by the ghost children and escapes. Tyler takes two deputies in the woods to find Jonathan's body. They begin hearing animal like noises behind them. The demon appears and kills both deputies before taking Tyler's body back to an altar in the woods and then...

What will that nasty demon do??? Why don't you check out Hallettsville on Netflix and find out!!! The movie sort of sounded good in the description, but it really wasn't that good. In fact, it was kind of bad!! The dialogue was horrible and the acting was ridiculous. The plot was something I've seen a hundred times and of course no movie would be complete without kids running through the woods all scared and hopeless. BORING!!!

That was kind of a waste of 87 minutes. And Gary Busey did nothing for that movie. He was all weird and crazy and I really wasn't a fan of his drug hazed acting...is he on drugs?? He sure as hell seems like it.

And the montage scenes!! UGHH!! I swear the last idk..fourth of that movie was nothing but one giant montage. It was horrible! And the ending was just silly. I've also seen that about a hundred times. Overall I'd give Hallettsville a 2.5 out of 5.

Sasha Slaughter

Like I said, the plot sucked and just about everything about this movie sucked. Although I will say that the little ghost kids and the demon thing was actually creepy. That was the best part of that movie...well, that and the end were the best part. You know, when the movie is over?? BOOO! Anyway, that's all I have to say about that. So how about you go and check out what Zane's got going on? You know you wanna look!