CHOP CHOP CHOP By: SASHA SLAUGHTER

Well hey there!! Thanks for stopping by Dead End Horror!!! As you may or may not already know, this is random stuff week again, and we're doing whatever we feel like doing. Isn't that awesome?? Of course it is. Today I'll be reviewing, “ Butchered.” It was suggested to me by Zane because I needed a little direction =). I was a confused horror blogger!

So anyway, “Butchered” came out in 2010 and runs about 70 min. It's unrated and was directed by Charles Stewart Jr., Shaun O' Rourke, and Sheila Brothers. That’s about all I know about the production and whatnot, but let me tell you about the plot. Let’s do this!

                                                                       
When a group of teens decide to spend their last weekend on a remote island to say their final goodbyes before heading off to college, they get a little more than they bargained for. Little do they know convicted serial killer Terrance Skinner escaped from authorities while on death row in a maximum security prison. Skinner is referred to as "the butcher" due to the heinous way he killed his victims.

He would stock pile bodies in his family owned butcher shop and hack them into pieces. He had killed fourteen people before authorities caught up to him. And now that he's escaped he's taken cover on the very same island that the teens are headed for. It soon becomes a battle for the teens for survival against this unlikely foe.

                                                                           
Two policemen are chasing the butcher in the woods when he kills them and then escapes. A young woman named Kelly returns home to find her apartment door ajar but thinks nothing of it. She calls a friend to bitch about the fact that her boyfriend packed his stuff and moved out. She hears noises in her apartment and tells her friend she'd call back.

She checks all of the doors and finds her cat in one of the rooms. She calls her friend back and says it was only her cat when the butcher walks up behind her and kills her. Meanwhile, a bunch of college kids at a party are planning one last weekend together on a remote part of an island they used to hang out at. They want to get together one last time before college starts. Later that night on that same island, a man finds an axe in one of his boats and yells out for people to stop using his boathouse. Just then the butcher comes up behind him and kills him.

                                                                                     
 The next day Dylan gets his brother Brody to take him and his friends to the island to spend a few days there. They arrive at the island and set up their tents. They get to talking about the butcher and how he escaped from prison. Sam tells them that the police tracked him and he is thought to be around where they are.

After they finish talking about the butcher, they frolic on the beach for a while playing football and hanging out. Dawn sees her friend Chloe kiss Sam, whom she is interested in. She gets mad and storms off back to camp. When she arrives she finds the butcher going through everyone’s things. It only takes her moments to realize who he is and she starts running away. She falls in the sand (typical) and the butcher hits her in the head with a rock and drags her to another part of the island.

Sam and Chloe are getting ready to go at it when they hear Dawn scream. Chloe insists that they go try to find her. Sam says they'll go to the camp and get flashlights and go back. Just then the butcher walks up behind Chloe and throws an axe in her chest. Sam screams and runs away. He is hiding behind a tree when the butcher finds him and buries an axe into his stomach. Hope, Dylan, Jenna, and Trevor are getting worried about Sam and the girls so they decide to go looking for them on the island.

                                                                               
They decide to split up and Trevor and Hope run into the butcher shortly after. He tells Hope to run and go back to camp and find Jenna. Dylan finds the girls and tells them he's going to find Trevor. Trevor starts fighting the butcher and he kills Trevor with an axe and drags his dead body and puts it with the others.

Dylan goes back out to search for Trevor and stumbles across a pile of dead friends bodies. The butcher finds him and he runs. The butcher hears Hope and Jenna talking and heads in their direction. Dylan taunts him and calls him names and he throws an axe at Dylan. Meanwhile Hope is trying to reach Brody on Dylan's radio to tell him they need help. The butcher finds Hope and Jenna and...

                                                                                
And what?? What does the big bad butcher do??? Well I guess you should head on over to Netflix and watch Butchered to find out! This movie was ok. I wasn't crazy about it. The acting was totally over the top and at times so fake. And I don't know if it was Netflix or my computer, but the video quality was total shit! It was all blurry. Boo to that!!

There was a good amount of blood I guess. Could have been more. The killings were semi-believable, but half of the time they didn't show them, which really irked me. They'd usually change scenes when someone was about to get offed. I wanna see death dammit!!!

                                                                             
Yeesh! There was some brief nudity, boobs within the first 10 minutes of the movie that is. And then in the opening credits it showed the butcher torturing some half naked girl and cutting off her nipples. Can I just say something for the whole female population??? OUCH!!!!!!!!

                                                                                     
And another part I didn't like too much was all of the white kids talking like they're gangster. What is up with that?? Or maybe I was hearing things. Maybe it was some kind of accent, but jeez.

I gave “Butchered” a 2.5 out of 5. I didn't hate it but I didn't like it either. There’s a slight chance I'd watch this again, if I were incredibly bored and there wasn't a thing left to do in the world maybe. It is most definitely a B movie through and through. Now that I've shared my feelings with you, you can go on over and check out what Zane’s got on the slab. He want's you to look!!

Sasha Slaughter

                                                                                           

DON'T MESS WITH THE SQUATCH!! By: SASHA SLAUGHTER

Hey there! We are at it again here at Dead End Horror. And we're back to bring you man vs beast week (Booo!). Zane gets to boss me again, so this was his brilliant idea, because he knows I don't like these kind of movies very much. But hey, what can you do?? If there’s anything I've learned about life, it's that there are always going to be times when you have to do something that you don't like. So, with that being said, I'll deal. Anyway!! I'm going to tell you a little about the movie Assault of the Sasquatch. It came out in 2009 and was directed by Andrew Gernhard.

Authorities arrest ruthless bear poacher, Terry Drake, in the state park and impound his truck. But what they don't know is that inside of his truck is the legendary Sasquatch. Back at the precinct where they take Drake to book him, the Sasquatch escapes hoping to get revenge on the poacher who took him from his natural habitat.

 

 Drake and his two men are in the woods setting traps trying to find bears to kill and sell. They hear a loud noise in the woods and he tells one of his men to go see what it was. Shortly after he sees Sasquatch and shoots it with the tranquilizer. He tells them over the walkie talkies that he found it and that its huge. The officers sitting nearby hear him over their radio and decide to go investigate. They load Sasquatch into the truck and Drake calls a collector and tells him they caught something for his collection and asks for one million dollars for it.

It wakes up and tries to escape from the truck and Drake shoots it with more tranquilizers. He's quickly shutting the doors of the truck when the police arrive. They arrest him and take him to the precinct while one of the officers takes his truck back to the station. After they take Drake into the precinct, the Sasquatch escapes. It starts walking through the streets and looks into a window in some chicks house and sees her stripping and getting into the shower (His eyes get all wide and makes the funniest noise..omg! haha). He sneaks into her room and finds her bra and sniffs it before going into the bathroom and watching the girl shower. He's about to get a closer look when the girls dog comes into the room. The squatch gets agitated and stomps on poor fluffy and leaves. Two nerds, Don and Murph are running all over town asking people if they've seen the Sasquatch and freaking about being in the National Sasquatch Society. While the squatch was looking into the girls window they captured video of him on the girls roof. After they get the footage they freak out and decide to follow it.
                                   

                                                                        
Officers bring someone else into the precinct after they arrest Drake because the other station was full. As they are taking him back to the holding cells he sees officer Ryan Walker and tries to attack him. When Walker realizes that it's Talon, who was one of two people that broke into his home ten years earlier, he has a flashback of his wife and daughter in their house when his wife calls to tell him that someone broke in. He arrives at the house to find his wife dead and shoots one of the robbers. He realizes that the guy that was brought in was one of the intruders that was in his house whom he arrested. Talon starts talking shit to Drake and after a few minutes Drake offers to make a deal with Talon. He says that if Talon can get him out of there, Drake will give him a cut of the money he's going to make from selling the Sasquatch to the collector.

Just then Jessica comes into the room when she realizes who he is. She tells him that he ruined her life because his brother killed her mother. He tells her she deserved it because her father killed his brother. He tries to grab her through the cell bars when Jessica runs away. Officer Jameson walks in and sees him try to grab her. He grabs a hold of Talon and tells him to never touch her again. Talon looks at him and tells him made a big mistake and then stabs him in the throat with scissors. He takes Jameson's keys and unlocks his cell door. Drake asks him to let him out and Talon tells him no, that he has a score to settle. Just then they realize that the truck has been broken into. They go out to find the doors ripped open and a dead guy in the truck with his guts hanging out. They see the Sasquatch watching them from a few feet away. It starts running towards them and they run back into the precinct and lock the doors.

                                                              

Just then Talon shoots the breaker box and the power goes out. The back up generators kick on a few moments later only to go back out when Talon shoots the generator. The emergency lights come on and Krystal, one of the officers, decides to check on Drake. She goes into the room of holding cells to discover that Talon is gone and Jameson is dead. Drake laughs and tells her that Talon has a little score to settle. A few blocks away Jessica's boyfriend Leighton calls to let her know that she left her wallet there and he is coming to return it to her. He notices someone is following him and turns around and comes face to face with the Sasquatch. He maces it and it runs away. A few moments later it comes back and starts throwing things at him. (Rocks, tires...anything it gets its hands on). Jessica hears Leighton calling for her and looks outside to see him standing in front of the precinct all bloody and banged up. He starts walking toward the doors when the squatch appears and grabs him and runs away.                                                                      

                                                                    
They start hearing noises coming from the building. Jessica gets grabbed from the room by the Sasquatch. He drops her outside and starts sniffing her when Amy, the secretary at the precinct, comes out and throws a knife at it. She starts kicking it (Little chick has some mad squabbles...even it looked totally fake) and fighting it off with a police shield. He throws the shield aside and knocks her to the ground when Ryan comes out and shoots at it and they all run back inside. They decide to let Drake out so he can help them get out because he knows more about the Sasquatch.

They go into the evidence room in the basement to get weapons to arm themselves with in case they run into the Sasquatch. The two nerdy fucks run into the Sasquatch and start spazzing out when he kills the chubby one (Thank god he died! Ughh he was soo annoying). The other one tries to run but he impales him with a sign. Just then he sees Drake through the window and charges through the doors to get to him. Everyone is trying to fight him off with the weapons they got. The squatch gets stabbed and it slows him down enough for everyone to run. The Sasquatch leaves the precinct and Drake tells them that he is going to hide the bodies of the people he killed so no one knows anything is wrong. Ryan goes out to distract the Sasquatch while everyone escapes through a window and runs into an underground tunnel. He finally finds Drake and tries to attack him but he stabs it and gets away. The collector that Drake called arrives and exclaims that they've made a mess of everything.

 

                                                                                 
Krystal and Jessica get out of the tunnel when Talon appears and stabs Krystal and kidnaps Jessica. He ties her to a chair in the abandoned warehouse and tells her that he was the one who killed her mother. Jessica's father appears and starts to fight Talon. Jessica uses a pocket knife to cut the ropes to free herself. Talon comes at her and she stabs him in the stomach. Drake runs past with the Sasquatch close behind. He stops when he sees Talon and breaks his neck and runs after Drake. The squatch finds them in a room but before he can attack, the collector shows up shoots it with a bow thinger. Jessica asks who he is and just as he's telling them he's their savior, the Sasquatch kills the collector. Drake starts running and the Sasquatch follows him. They start fighting and Drake shoots him with a nail gun several times. He then grabs a chain saw but the Sasquatch knocks it out of his hands. The Sasquatch presses a button and something falls from the ceiling and crushes Drake. Drake flips off the squatch and it rips off his middle finger and puts it on his necklace (Yes, Sasquatch was wearing jewelry). He leaves the room and sees Ryan, Krystal, and Jessica and then...

                                                                            
OH NO!! And then what?? Hop on over to Netflix and watch Assault of the Sasquatch and find out! Now, lets hear what I have to say huh??? Where do I begin??? This movie was sooo cheesy and so over the top. Seriously! It was a total campy B movie and it shows. Some of the scenes looked like they were shot with someone’s home video recorder. For real! The acting was horrible and over done. And Sasquatch had long hair and...a necklace?? Really? I highly doubt if you find a squatch in the woods it will be wearing jewelry. That was just strange. And Don and Murph ( I'm a sexy bitch Murph...look at me!!) were horribly annoying but definitely added comedy to the mix. I laughed and cringed every time I saw them. A part of me wanted them to shut up and die, but another part was like HA! THEY'RE FUNNY! The chubby one was just soo over the top and always freaking out. It was hilarious! But I must say, when they got offed, I was sort of relieved 

                                                                                  
Overall I'd give Assault of the Sasquatch a 2.5 out of 5. It really wasn't that great at all. I mean, parts of it were definitely entertaining. It had that sort of tongue in cheek quality you see in a lot of campy B movies. There was a brief boob flash, and a decent amount of blood, and a chick with no legs crawling from the tunnel, which was cool. I don't think I'd watch it again though. It's OK once, but anything more than that would be borderline torture! So, that's that. Now how about you go check out Zane's list of the best man vs. beast movies!! He likes it when you check out his stuff!

Sasha 'The Chambermaid' Slaughter

                                                       

UNCLE MELVIN IS A DOUCHE!! BY: SASHA SLAUGHTER

Oh hey, what's poppin slimes??? Is that getting old yet?? Ehh! Anyway, Sasha Slaughter here with you here and I certainly hope you are ready to have your minds blown by how talented we (Zane and I) are. But I'm sure you've already noticed. =) I'll be reviewing "The Inheritance" for you today. It was directed by Robert O'Hara and was released in 2011 and you can find it on Netflix. Ever hear of it? Me either!! So how about we get down to business then huh??

Five cousins (Karen, Lily, Simpson, Tyrone, and Henry) get invited to a family reunion by their Uncle Melvin at a remote cabin in rural Vermont. They arrive to discover that they are the only ones from the family that were invited, but they think nothing of it. Simpson arrives with his boss Marty and his wife (Two white people...the only white people in the movie) and his cousin tells him that he knows that their family doesn't like white people. Simpson ignores him and invites them into the cabin. There is a letter from their Uncle Melvin welcoming them to the cabin and telling them he left them something on the bar. Henry opens the box and finds bottles of booze and alot of weed (Damn, why can't I have an uncle like that??). They are sitting around getting drunk and high when four out of the five cousins admit that they are here expecting to be given money.

Karen freaks out because she's the only one there who is there for family and not money. Lily calms her down and they go into the living room to get high. After a few minutes Lily starts freaking out when she sees "The flesh is the strength" written in blood on the window. Everyone is startled and eventually calm down and go to bed. Marty and his wife go upstairs early and are going at it when he leaves to get water. His wife is laying on her stomach and feels fingers on her skin and she thinks it's Marty. There are two hay people (I don't know what else to call them!) in the room touching her and then they kill her. Karen wakes up the next morning to find her Aunt B siting in the room watching her. She tells her and Lily to wake up because they are about to start. Henry, Simpson, and Tyrone are asleep in the next room when their Uncle Grady starts beating on a drum to wake them up. He tells them to come downstairs because they are about to begin.

The cousins go downstairs to find the Elders waiting for them in the living room. They are lead to five chairs set up in the middle of the room. They sit down and their Uncle Melvin tells them about their family history. They start doing some weird chanting ritual and telling them that the older generation came here to spend time with the younger generation. Their uncle then tells them that their family came from a long line of slaves but was saved from someone they called Chakabazz. He tells them that he promised to save them from the white men if they gave him a sacrifice. So five slaves sacrificed their children to Chakabazz to be saved from the white men.

After the story was over, Simpson made a sarcastic remark and the Elders left. Their Uncle Melvin told them that the Elders felt disrespected therefore they left. Karen asked her uncle to please talk to the Elders to see if they would accept their apology. Shortly after, the Elders are nowhere to be found and the time changes and no one can figure out how it got so late. Lily starts freaking out and says she is leaving. She packs her stuff and leaves. While she is driving she sees the ghost of a slave on the road and crashes her car into a snow bank. She is looking for a flashlight when she sees people outside of her car. They open the door and drag Lily out and she disappears. Everyone at the house is trying to figure out what to do when Karen decides to take a bath and relax. While in the bath she sees her Uncle Melvin in the tub and he tells her that she is the chosen one. Just then Chakabazz appears and gets into the tub with Karen and he has sex with her and disappears.

She wakes up and sees "The blood is the life" written in blood on the wall and freaks out. She tells Henry that someone was in her room but they can't find anyone. She finally calms down and then Lily's mom Felicia shows up. They let her in and she tells them that the Elders are going to sacrifice them and that Melvin is behind everything. She tells them they'll start by draining the blood of the virgin (Lily), Impregnating the host (Karen), one warriors bones will be built into a totem pole (Tyrone), one warriors flesh will be eaten (Simpson), and then they will make the host (Karen) kill the master warrior (Henry). Melvin denies everything and using some mind trick kills Felicia. The other four run out of the house to escape and they see Marty's wife's torso in the snow with the words "You're it" written in blood in the snow.

One of the hay people attack them and almost takes Tyrone but the distract it and get Tyrone into the car with them. They decide to leave the car to find weapons and Henry sees Lily outside of the shed he's in. She tells him that he lives and then disappears. Henry tells the others that he saw Lily and that they have to save her. They leave Tyrone in the woods while they go investigate Lily's car. They hear Tyrone screaming and run into the woods as he's being dragged off by the hay people to be killed. They get into Lily's car to get warm but hear noises in the backseat. They look in the back and find Simpson's boss tied and up gagged. They run out of the car and stumble upon the Elders in the woods holding some sort of ritual calling upon Chakabazz. They tell Karen, Simpson, and Henry that they are going to be sacrificed to ensure the prosperity of future generations. Their aunt tells them that everything they have is because of them and now they must die to give it to the next generation.

They manage to escape into the woods and stop to decide what to do. Two hay people come after Karen but Simpson kills them and they run back into the house. The Elders are in the house waiting for them to surrender. They are trying to get to Simpson's room when they see more of the Elders in the hall. Karen tells Simpson and Henry to go to the room and she'll distract the Elders because it's her they want. She goes to her Uncle Melvin with a hatchet behind her back to thank him for choosing her as the host. She tries to stab him with the hatchet but he moves. Henry grabs Karen and they get into Simpson's room. They lock the door and tell Simpson to type a message to the rest of the family and send it. Henry sees Lily in the window being attacked by the hay people. He decides to go save her but he gets killed by the hay people. Karen keeps telling Simpson to keep typing and not to stop but make sure he sends the message when he's done. Karen is against the door when hands break the door and grab her. A symbol shows up on her stomach and she grabs a hatchet and walks towards Simpson....

                                                                       
Ughh! Talk about a sucky movie. Boooo!! Waste of 84 minutes, I'm tellin you what. And the title is totally off. Doesn't someone have to die in order for you to get an inheritance or something?? These were just a couple of shitty people looking for a handout from their rich family members. And the girl on the cover of the movie...WTF was that?? It had nothing to do with the movie. Totally irrelevant to the whole thing...I think it was done to catch attention and get people to watch this pile of shit movie. It didn't even get remotely interesting until almost halfway through and it bored the holy hell out of me. Overall I'd give this pile of fuck (As Zane would say) a 2 out of 5. There was a sex scene (two white people gettin it), like 2 boob shots, a butt shot, a bloody torso in the snow, a head impaled on a stick and that's about it. Not too horrible, but there could have been a bit more gore, you know what I'm sayin?? I wouldn't watch this movie again if you paid me. The acting was bad and the used that time lapsed shit in between scenes alot. BOO! Well then, since you're here how about you check out Zane's stuff too??? Until next time faithful readers! Thanks for checking us out!!

Sasha 'BB' Slaughter

                                                                      TRAILER                                                                                               

THE INSIDIOUS SASHA SLAUGHTER By: SASHA SLAUGHTER

EGADS!

Oh oh oh oh...oh hi there!!! Glad you stopped by Dead End Horror to get your mind blown by how damn good we are! Sasha Slaughter here with you yet again to bring your more randomness in honor of mixed bag O shit month. I'm gonna be going a little new school on your asses today. And I mean NEW NEW school. Ever hear of the film Insidious? Yes? No? Well I'll be reviewing that for you today. Insidious was released in the US on April 1, 2011. It was written by Leigh Whannell and directed by James Wan (The same guy that brought us Saw and Paranormal Activity). It runs a little over an hour and a half long, it was rated PG-13 and is a suspense/thriller. And heres a fact for you, the budget for this film was $1.5 and it grossed $91,923,029...WOW!!

Renai and Josh Lambert recently moved into a new home with their three children Dalton, Foster, and Callie. Renai and Dalton are going through an old picture album when he asks why there are no pictures of his father, Renai tells him that he doesn't like to have his picture taken. Foster comes downstairs and tells Renai that he is scared of his new room and asks if he can have a new one. Renai thinks nothing of it and tells him it will be fine. Later that evening Dalton hears something in the attic and goes to investigate. He sees what is referred to as the "Lipstick Demon" *signified by bones cracking* and falls off of the ladder he was on. His parents rush to attic and take Dalton to his room. The following morning Josh tries to wake Dalton for school when he realizes Dalton won't wake up. They take him to hospital and the doctor tells them that Dalton is in some sort of coma.

After three months of being a coma, Josh and Renai decide to bring Dalton home so they can care for him. While Renai is playing the piano, she hears some whispering on the baby monitor and someone yelling "I want it now" and then the baby starts to cry. She goes upstairs and doesn't see anyone but the baby is visibly shaken. More disturbing events occur and Renai suggests to Josh that the house may be haunted. At first he doesn't believe her and then she showed him the sheets from Dalton's bed with a bloody hand print on them. Later on that night Renai is almost attacked in the bedroom which repeatedly triggers the alarm in the house. Josh runs upstairs and can't find anyone in the house but Renai insists that there a man there. Renai begs them to move out of the house and Josh finally agrees.

Upon moving into their new home, new and increasingly violent things begin happening. While doing chores Renai sees little English boys running up and down the hall giggling and hiding in Dalton's room. Josh's mother Lorraine, believes the things that Renai is seeing and calls on her longtime friend/psychic Elise Reiner. Elise shows up at the Lambert home with two of her assistants and asks to do a walk through. They enter Dalton's room where Elise asks that the lights stay off. She appears to see something on the ceiling and is describing the thing to an assistant as he draws it. Renai grabs the sketch pad from the assistant and sees that he drew a demonic looking figure with a red face, yellow eyes, claw-like fingernails and hooves.

Elise then explains to the Lambert's that Dalton has the supernatural ability of astral projection. She tells them that this means he can wander around the parallel spirit world. She then tells them that Dalton has wandered to far away from his physical body to a place she calls "The Further" and he can't find his way back. She says that Dalton is interacting with other lost souls of the dead and also demons, because he believes he is dreaming and thinks he can't get hurt. She reveals to him that Dalton's astral projection has attracted the powerful demon in the drawing. She tells Josh and Renai that the demon lured Dalton in "The Further" in hopes of taking over Dalton's physical body. Josh is skeptical until he sees drawings of the demon that Dalton had made before his coma three months earlier.

Josh finally agrees to let Elise come back and help them get Dalton before it's too late. Upon returning to the home Lorraine and Elise reveal to Josh that he is also able to astral project and that's how Dalton got his ability. Elise tells him that when he was younger the spirit of a malevolent old woman befriended his astral projection and attached herself to him in hopes of taking over his body. Elise suggests that Josh once again astral projects to go into "The Further" to free Dalton's soul. Josh agrees and Elise instructs him on what to do. He finds himself in a black abyss where he meets his childhood self. Without speaking, the young Josh points him in the direction of the house. Josh searches the house for his son and along the way meets several other demons and lost souls. He finally finds Dalton chained in a room behind a red door that Josh had seen in one of Dalton's drawings. He enters the room and frees Dalton. They notice the demon watching them as they run out of the house to find their physical bodies before it's too late.

Dun dun dun!!! WOW! I actually really liked this movie. I mean, it was rated PG-13...whatever! So there was none of the 3 B'S, no cussing *OK maybe like 3 cuss words* and barely any blood, who cares! I'll admit, this creeped me out hardcore. I love horror and I love being freaked out by movies, unfortunately this rarely happens. Insidious did it for me! It creeped the bejesus out of me! The demons and lost souls where AMAZING! They looked so real and just scary. I had someone tell me this movie was bad and it looked fake...WTF were they watching?? And WTF do they know, besides theft of Mexican food?? This movie was pretty good if you ask me. Overall I'd give it a 4.5 out of 5...YEAHH!! The lack of blood, gore, and sex was whatever. This movie didn't need any of that to be good. The plot was great, the acting was amazingly believable and I'm telling you, the demons and lost souls were hella creepy. After the movie I found myself a little jumpy when I was in the dark. I haven't had a movie do that to me in a long ass time. And while you're here, how about you gives Zane's articles a peek too!! He's just as awesome as me, so I know you'll like it. And thanks for stopping by!                                                                                               

SASHA SLAUGHTER

                                                                                                                                                                                                                              

VOODOO! RUNNIN' FROM MY MAGIC! BY: ZOMBIE 'FUCKIN' ZANE

BOOM-SHA-LOCK-LOCK-BOOM!! What’s good? It’s me, Zombie Zane coming at ya live and direct from the glass furnace otherwise known as the seven six one oh seven. Well, here we are, together again. This is the last post of the week and this is also the last post of our old school horror movie tribute. Was that a run on sentence? Ahh, fuck it. Who cares. In any case, I’m gonna close this bitch down with one more movie review. Why not. So have any of you seen or heard of a little movie called, ‘KING OF THE ZOMBIES?’ No? Well, shit the bed! How about I educate you on it? I mean what else have you got going on? Ok, enough foreplay, let’s get to the good stuff, yes?

‘King of the Zombies’ is a 19 and 41 comedy/horror film produced by Monogram Pictures. Now this film was supposed to star Bela Lugosi as Dr. Victor Sangre, but he was not available for the role. Peter Lorre was then contacted, but a deal could not be done so this other dude, Henry Victor got the part just prior to filming. Anyway, this film runs just about 67mins, and it was released in May of 1941. It also spawned a sequel, ‘Revenge of the Zombies.’ Which came out two years later in 1943. One other tidbit for ya, ‘King of the Zombies’ was also nominated for an Academy Award for best music in a dramatic picture. Fuckin’ cool! Who knew? Well, I did. Seeing how I am the one writing this. Anyway, how about we get to the plot?

THE PLOT:   An American government agent, his butler, and a pilot, crash somewhere in the Caribbeans. They were out looking for a missing admiral when their plane went boom. Anyway, they are taken in by a German doctor (who was supposed to be played by Lugosi) So the three guests find out that the island is crawling with zombies. As well as the doctor’s house. Now the good doctor is the boss of the zombies. He like controls them by using some kind of fuck-fuck trick on their minds. Now our three heroes figure out that the doctor is using the zombies to aid the war effort (This took place in WW II obviously) And no way are they gonna let that happen. So they try and thwart the doctors plans. Do they succeed? Do they become zombies? What happens!! You’ll just have to watch it. Hey! Don’t piss and moan. It’s only a little over an hour. You can do it!

Ok, now let me tell ya what I thought of this little gem of a film. Overall, I dug it. The butler dude was funny as fuck! I think he was played by Mantan Moreland. He had some fuckin’ classic lines! I’ll try to find some clips of him on Youtube and if I can I’ll post it at the end of this. But as I was saying, I dug this movie. I mean it had it’s flaws...I thought the zombies were a bit on the retarded side, and the ending (it’s always the christing ending) was kinda idk...flat. Maybe to abrupt or something? But in any case, I liked it, I didn’t really notice the music being that good for an Academy Award nominee, but whatever. All in all I give ‘King of the Zombies’ a middle of the road 2.5 out of 5. I docked it some points ‘cause of the odd ending and the retarded zombies. So lookit, grab a six pack, order you up a pizza and give this motherfucker a watch. Not a bad way to spend a hotter than shit summer night.

Ok, this concludes our old school horror tribute. Hope you learned some shit, hope you saw some of these films we reviewed. And most of all, I hope you had a good time reading. Before I go, I just wanna say thanks to y’all for coming over here and reading our shit. I really appreciate your time.

One more thing, be sure and check out Sasha’s stuff. She does all her blogging in the nude ya know. Sorry, Sasha, I had to put that in there. Ok, so until next time, take care, stay a-scared and I am out! ROCK OUT WITH YA COCK OUT!! YA KNOW YA SEE ME...

MAN, SHIT!! I couldn't find any of the butler shit, so what I'm doing is I'm gonna post the whole movie. All 67 minutes of it. So there ya go. I just gave you access to a free film. The beer and the pizza is up to you...ENJOY!

PLANT YO' ASS DOWN AND READ THIS SHIT!! by: ZOMBIE ZANE

BOOM-SHA-LOCK-LOCK-BOOM! Damn hell it’s still hot here in the seven six one oh seven. It’s so fuckin’ hot that I saw a dog chasing a cat yesterday and they was walkin!! In any case, it’s me, your good buddy Zombie Zane here once again to share with you some more horror movie reviews. This is the last week of our old school horror tribute so I thought I’d close it out with three, count them three old school horror film reviews. Sound good? I thought so. And if in any way you’re tired of these old school horror films, piss off outta here and come back next week when we go back to more of a current type of deal. So until then, kick back and let me tell you about one of the movies I watched this week. Ever heard of ‘LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS?’ No? Well allow me to educate...

‘LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS’ is a 1960 comedy/horror film directed by Roger Corman. Now this film was actually produced under the title ‘The Passionate People Eater.’ Why they changed the name to ‘Shop of Horrors’ I don’t know. But, I do know that they shot the movie in just days and it only cost a mere $30,000 to make. (Two days! Fucking A!)

This film also has a cult following and was previously released as the B movie on a double feature with ‘Black Sunday.’ And it was eventually released with the film (on another double feature) ‘THE LAST WOMAN ON EARTH.’ Which I will be reviewing later on in the week. This film was also remade in 1986 as more of a musical. It’s good though. In fact, I saw the remake when I was a kid and loved the hell out of it. It was fucking great. You should look in to it.

Now that I gave you a bit of background, let’s delve into the plot, yes? "LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS" breaks down like this: A dorky guy by the name of Seymour works in a shit-hole florist shop and is in love with his co-worker. Now this Seymour is an amateur botanist who discovers a rare plant and hopes to use this plant to make a name for himself and win over Audrey. (His co-worker) Now this ain’t your ordinary rare plant. No sir! This motherfucking plant can talk! Talk I say! And the best part...It can only survive on a steady diet of human flesh and blood. So poor Seymour is forced to start killing people in order to keep the plant alive. (Cue the dramatic music now) One more side note here. Jack Nicholson is actually in this film for a cameo. So you can add some cool points for that.

So ya got the plot, ya got the background, now let me tell you what I thought of this film. Cause my opinion is the ONE that matters, right? I liked it. I liked the unique characters, I liked the comedy element, the dialogue was funny as fuck, and the acting wasn’t half bad believe it or not. All in all it was a great way to spend 73mins. I give this bad boy a solid 3 out of 5. Pretty high for an old B movie. My favorite character had to be the owner of the flower shop. He was fucking hi-larious!! Dude made me laugh out loud a few times. SO there ya go. ‘LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS’ gets a 3 out of 5.

Well, that’s all I got for your ass today. Be sure and check out Sasha’s stuff as well. She’s always glad to show it to ya. Until next time, take care, stay a-scared and I am out!

PS!!! THE CRAZY JACK NICHOLSON AT THE DENTIST...LOOK HOW YOUNG!

CREATURE OF THE BLACK LAGOON By: SASHA SLAUGHTER

Alright alright!! Sasha Slaughter here for the third and final time this week to bring you another dose of old school horror. Today I'll be giving you a little review of the movie Creature of the Black Lagoon. So how about you sit on down enjoy my take on Creature of the Black Lagoon.

Creature of the Black Lagoon came in out in 1954 and was directed by Jack Arnold. Dr. Carl Maia is in the Amazon when he discovers the fossil of a hand in lime stone. He goes to a science institute to have the hand looked at and tries to determine what it came from. A group of scientists at the institute agree to go on an expedition with Dr. Maia to search for more fossils. Upon returning to his camp, Dr. Maia discovers that two of his men were attacked and killed. Soon after the scientists begin digging up the lime stone to retrieve fossils, only they dig for eight days and find nothing. One of the scientists suggests that maybe part of the lime stone had been in the water and thinks maybe they should search underwater for fossils. They all agree and take a boat to what the boat captain calls the Black Lagoon.

They dive in the lagoon to search for rocks to test when a creature appears and watches them. They come back from the dive to test the rocks while Kay, one of the scientists, goes for a swim in the lagoon. As shes swimming, the creature is fascinated by her and follows her and tries to grab her feet, she feels something and moves and the creatrure swims away. She swims back to the boat and after she gets on, something gets caught in the net but it tears through the net to escape. Some of the scientists go back into the water to try and find what got caught in the net. They see the creatrure and swim after it but it hides and when they turn around it swims the other way. Finally they catch up with it and shoot it with a harpoon. The creature swims away out of sight and men go back onto the boat.

The scientists are studying pictures they took underwater when they hear screaming and discover that the creature came aboard and took one of the crew memebers and went back into the water. Lucas, the captain of the boat, gives them a drug made from root to put in the water to try and paralyze the creature so they can capture it. At first it doesn't work so they decide to make the drug so it can sink and reach where the creature may be. Shortly after the creature attempts to climb onto the boat but is scared away by a lantern. Two of the scientists, Mark and David, go looking for the creature and find it's footprints on the beach. The creature walks up behind Kay and grabs her but collapses onto the ground because of the drug.

They take the creature back to the boat and put it underwater and secure it so it can't go anywhere. Most of the scientists go to run test on various things and that leaves Kay and Dr. Thompson to make sure the creature doesn't escape. Dr. Thompson and Kay are talking when they hear a loud noise and realize the creature escaped. It injures Dr. Thompson in an attempt to take Kay, but she throws a lantern at it and it dives into the water. Mark decides that they've had enough and says that it's time for them to leave. They almost reach the end of the lagoon but soon discover that there are tree branches blocking their way out. They realize that the creature put them there and is trying to stop them from leaving. After a few failed attempts to move the branches, David dives into the water to attach the cables to the branches so they can be moved.

While David is attaching cables Mark sees the creature and shoots it with the harpoon gun. The creature removes the harpoon and comes after David, ripping off his oxygen hose. The creature leaves and Mark takes David's lifeless body out of the water. They decide to drug the creature one more time to keep it away long enough so they can remove the branches. Mark drugs the creature and attaches the cables but he comes aboard to find the creature with Kay in his arms and it dives into the water. It takes her into a cavern and...

Well hey, if you really wanna know what happened I highly reccomend you watch it and see. This film really wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I really am a newbie to this kind of old school horror (Zane is schooling me...hardcore.) But I actually really liked the movie. Some of the dialogue was over the top (In a good way). The acting was good and I especially liked the underwater scenes, they were really cool. I think overall I'd give this a 3 out 5...I know right!! It kept me interested and waiting to see what would happen next. The creature was a little on the cheesy side, but it kind of had a little creep factor to it too. Obviously there was no butt or blood or anything, but I don't really think this movie needed it. Although, I do have to say that the men of the movie were really bad at fighting off the monster. All it had to do was put it's hands on them and they died..Ehh!! It truly is a cult classic though. And heres a little side note, Creature of the Black Lagoon will be remade in 2013!! What???

But there you have it, my take on The Creature of the Black Lagoon. Don't forget to check out Zombie Zanes stuff, as always, you'll be glad you did. And of course, check back next week for more stuff here at Dead End Horror. Toodles!!

ONE MORE THING BEFORE YA GET OUTTA HERE....

HOWL AT THE MOON By: SASHA SLAUGHTER

Well yippie ki yay motherfu...Ohh heyy there! Sasha Slaughter here and since this is still classic horror month, Zane and I will be reviewing some classic movies this week. I'll be doing a review of The Wolf Man, so stay and check it out K?? The Wolf Man came out in 1941 and was directed by George Waggner.

After being gone from home for eighteen years, Larry (played by Lon Chaney Jr.) returns home after an unfortunate hunting accident claims the life of his brother. While helping his father put together a telescope he sees into the top floor of an antique shop and sees a pretty woman named Gwen. He goes to the antique shop and asks for earrings and then goes on to describe a pair that she had on her dresser that he saw through the telescope. She says they aren't for sale but she shows him canes. He sees one with a silver wolfs head with a pentagram on it. She tells him the legend of werewolves and teases her for believing in them. He buys the cane and asks to see her later that night at 8. As they are getting ready to leave they see gypsies coming into town. Just then Gwen's friend Jenny came around the corner and asked if it was ok if she came with them. They go to see the gypsies to have their fortunes told. On the way in to get her fortune told Jenny picks of boquet of wolfsbane.

Jenny wants to have her fortune read first so she goes into the tent and sets her wolfsbane down on the table. The male gypsy Bela (played by Bela Lugosi) tells her to cut the cards and then he takes the wolfsbane and throws it on the floor. He looks at Jenny strangely and looks down at her hand and sees a pentagram. The gypsy immediately orders her to leave and says to come back the following day. Larry and Gwen decide to go for a walk while Jenny is getting her fortune told. Suddenly they hear screaming and Larry runs over to see Jenny being attacked by a wolf. He fights it off and the wolf bites him before he beats it to death with his silver cane. A woman gypsy and Gwen take Larry home and explain that he had been bitten by a wolf.

The doctor and other men go back to the marsh to discover that Jenny had been murdered, her throat had been ripped out. They also discover the body of Bela across from Jenny, dead from a crushed skull. The doctor comes the following morning to examine Larry. Larry is told that they found his cane next to the body of the gypsy. Larry tells them that he didn't kill the gypsy, he killed a wolf. He insists he was bitten and shows the doctor the wound, but there was nothing there. Jenny's mom and other townswomen go to Gwen's fathers antique shop and accuse Gwen of being responsible for the death of Jenny. Just then, Larry comes in and they all leave because they believe he killed the gypsy. Larry is talking to Gwen when her fiance Frank comes in. Larry leaves quickly and Frank warns her to stay way from Larry because he's harmful.

Frank and Gwen go into town where the gypsies gathered to celebrate the  passing of Bela and they run into Larry. Frank invites him to play a game and Larry agrees. They are playing a game and shooting at targets with guns. Larry hits all of his targets until one of them is in the shape of a wolf. He shoots and misses and puts the gun down and runs away. He meets up with the gypsy woman she tells him that Bela was a werewolf and that Larry killed him. Larry is in disbelief and then the gypsy woman tells him that because he was bitten, he too will be a werewolf. She gives Larry a silver charm to wear over his heart to protect himself. The gypsy woman then tells all of the other gypsies that there is a wolf in town and they all pack up and leave.

Larry goes home and finds that he is turning into a werewolf. After the transformation is complete he goes into the graveyard and finds a man digging a grave and attacks and kills him. He wakes up the next day and finds dirty animal prints leading from his window to his bed and then sees a pentagram on his chest. He talks to his father and asks about the legend of werewolves. He then asks if his father believes in the legend and his father says that he believes that it is all in a persons head. Friends of Larry's fathers come over to discuss the wolf and Larry tells him that he believes it is a werewolf. He asks the doctor if he believes in werewolf legends and he says that mostly it's a mental illness that causes people to believe they are something they are not. Afterwards the doctor tells Larry's father that he belives that Larry is mentally and needs to leave immediately and go to a mental institution, but his father insists that Larry is fine and will stay at home.

Later that night, Larry wolfs out and is wandering around the graveyard when he gets caught in a trap that the townsmen set to catch the wolf. The men hear the trap and come to see whats in it. Before they reach him, the gypsy woman finds Larry and says a prayer and turns him back into a human. He escapes from the trap and tries to run away. Two of the men searching for wolf find him and he tells them that he's hunting the wolf also. He goes to see Gwen and tells her that he needs to leave but she insists that she go with him but Larry tells her no. He then sees a pentragram on Gwen's hand, which means that Gwen is his next victim and then runs away.

He tries telling his father that he killed the wolf which was really the gypsy Bela and that he killed the man in the graveyard because he is the werewolf. He father doesn't believe him and ties Larry to a chair so he can't go anywhere to prove that he isn't the werewolf. His father then goes with a group of men to hunt the wolf and he sees the gypsy woman. He begins to accuse her of filling Larry's head with lies when he hears a gunshot and men saying they swear they shot him. Gwen appears in the woods looking for Larry. The gypsy woman tells her that she needs to go with her to save herself from Larry but Gwen runs away. Larry escapes from his house and sees Gwen in the woods. He runs after her and grabs her but then his father.....

Ah ha!! I got you again! I'm trying this new thing where I don't give away the ending..we'll see how it goes. Anyway!!! Maybe you should check out The Wolf Man and see how it ends for yourself. This movie was pretty good for being from 1941, and I think it's actually the second oldest movie I've ever seen. The special effects weren't horrible, but they weren't great either, but it was the 40's so it's all good. Of course there was no nudity or blood or anything like that, but back then they didn't really do that sort of thing. There were 3 or 4 dead bodies, thats not too bad. Overall I'd give it a 2.75 out of 5. It kept my attention throughout and the plot was actually really good. And do not forget to check out Zombie Zanes stuff...he'll let you take a peak. =)

PS!! HERE'S A LIL SOMETHING FOR YOU TO WATCH BEFORE YA VAMOS!!

DRAIN THE LIZARD!!

WHATTA YA HEAR, WHATTA YA SAY! Zombie Zane here once again coming at ya live and direct from the seven six one oh seven. A.k.a. the glass furnace. Or the pit of hell. Or the suck. Or whatever analogy you would like to insert. Anyway, this month is all about old school horror. If you’ve been following this blog, you already know this. If you haven’t, well know you know now. (I totally stole that from a BEP song.) We’ll get back to newer shit next month. But until then, kick back and roll old school with us.

Ok, so this week we’re all about monster movies. Ya know, giant shrews, wolfmen, fucking creatures from lagoons, giant man eating lizards, you dig me, right? So today I thought I’d tell you about the film ‘THE GIANT GILA MONSTER.’ Have you seen that one? No? Not a prob Bob. Allow me to educate. I know the title sounds fucking retarded, but believe it or not, it ain’t as bad as it sounds. It’s one of the better B movies out there. But then again, that ain’t saying much I guess. Ok, enough of this foreplay. Let’s get to today’s movie.

‘THE GIANT GILA MONSTER’ is a 1959 made in America sci-fi film. It’s directed by Ray Kellogg (who also directed the film I reviewed yesterday; ‘The Killer Shrews.’ What a happy coincidence.) It was released in June of ‘59 and it runs just about 75mins. It’s available on DVD as well. You can find it on those ‘bargain box sets’ or on a double feature disc put out by Legend films. And on a side note, the one put out by Legend is actually in color. So that’s pretty cool. Oh, and this movie is also considered a cult classic as well. So again, it’s gets a few extra cool points. Now that I gave you the particulars, let’s get to the plot, yes?

Basically it goes down like this: A huge man eating Gila monster is eating its way through a small, rural Texas town. It’s munching everything it can. Anything from livestock to the poor townsfolk. Now at first, none of the townspeople know what the fuck is going on. People just seem to be vanishing. But with the help of a local teen, the town sheriff finally figures out just what the fuck is really going on. And like all monster movies, you know what comes next...Find the Gila monster and destroy it. Or try to anyway. And basically, that’s about it. I mean I could give you a blow by blow, or you could just watch the damn thing.

Now this film isn’t a bad watch. I mean it did keep my attention and it was good for a few laughs. The way they filmed the Gila monster is pretty cool. They actually used a real one and just scaled down the town via a model to make the monster look huge. So it ain’t like that retarded shit where a dude runs around in a monster costume. If you like that type of shit, go and watch Godzilla.

I guess it’s time for me to rate this motherfucker for ya. I give ‘THE GIANT GILA MONSTER’ a 2.25. I took a few points off due to the lame ass singing in it. Now I know that doesn’t make sense when I say singing, but if you watch it, you’ll see what I mean. Maybe I’ll find the vid and post it along with this review. Or maybe not. Anyway a 2.25 for ‘THE GIANT GILA MONSTER.’

That’s all I got for your ass today. Be sure and see what Sasha Slaughter has for you. She just watched ‘THE WOLFMAN’ with Lon Chaney Jr. So you’ll wanna go and check out her stuff. So until tomorrow, take care, stay a-scared and I am out! WHEN IN DOUBT, WHIP IT OUT!

PS! HERE'S THE RETARDED SONG THAT I WAS TELLING YOU ABOUT!! OMG! TOO FUCKIN FUNNY!!

DID YOU WATCH IT? LOL! ...And the lord said, laugh children laugh, the lord said...Nevermind what he said, I say another beer is in order here. Especially after that! Ok, I'm out for real. Z-YA!

DEATH BY CHOCOLATE by: SASHA SLAUGHTER

Chyeahhh, it's that time once again to bring you some awesomeness from Dead End Horror. Our theme is still infact, classic horror, but I'll be doing a little review of MOH episode 5: Chocolate. Chocolate came out in 2005 and was directed by Mick Garris, it was based on his short story.
The story starts with Jamie and he appears to be being questioned about the things that led up to him having blood all over his face and shirt. He is asked to again repeat the story of what exactly happened to him and it all started when....

Jamie, a lonely recent divorcee, is working with his best friend Wally at a food laboratory developing various artificial flavors. He gets invited to see his bosses band at a bar because his boss thinks Jamie needs to get out and socialize. On the way home that night out of nowhere Jamie loses his sight and shortly after it returns. He returns home and starts having strange visions. The next day at the supermarket he meets Elaine. They istantly hit it off and they both reveal that they are on strict diets. She goes back to Jamie's house and they decide to indulge in a junk food fest.

She ends up spending the night && they boink (Duh!). Soon after they're finished he starts getting sharp pains in his stomach, he takes pills and goes to sleep. The following morning Jamie sees visions of a man and woman having sex and he begins to feel the sensations the woman is feeling. Elaine is freaking out and just then his ex wife and son walk in to see him writhing and moaning on the bed. Everyone leaves and while he is shaving he sees a vision of a woman writing I Love You on a piece of paper. He tells the people that are questioning him that as soon as he saw the woman write that he knew exactly what love was. Soon after he starts eating chocolate, trying to make more visions come to him.

While he is at the table he has a vision of a naked woman getting into a bathtub and masturbating with the shower head, only he feels everything she feels and he experiences her orgasm. He tries to tell Wally about his visions but Wally is skeptical. He tells Jamie to see a doctor but Jamie says he doesn't want the visions to stop. He then sees a vision of a man kissing another woman. The guy is talking to woman that Jamie is connected to and tells her that he brought the girl for them to share. The woman carresses the girls face before slapping her. The guy gets up and chokes her, and thats where Jamie's vision ended. While asleep later that night, Jamie sees an image of the same man and woman having sex when suddenly she pulls out a knife and stabs the man (She almost guts the poor bastard!). After that, the visions abruptly ended.

While at work he got a vision of a womans liscense plate and looked it up online. He finds that the plate belongs to someone from Vancouver, Canada and leaves to find the woman it belongs to. He reaches the apartment where the man was killed and sees the womans paintings and finds out that her name is Catherine, but she is nowhere to be found. He eventually finds her in another complex and offers her chocolates, but she freaks out and slams the door. Eventually Jamie tracks her down and she agrees to talk to him and hear his reasons for finding her. He confides in her that he sees visions of her and that he can feel what she feels and can see what she sees. She doesn't believe him and tells him to leave her alone, but Jamie is persistent.

He tells Catherine that he only wants to help her and admits that he is in love with her and he would do anything to keep her safe. She invites Jamie back to her apartment where she confesses that she too has been having visions and seeing faces and feeling different things. She offers him a drink and they start to make out when all of the sudden she pulls a gun on him and.....

Awww!! Come on now! Did you think I'd spoil it for you? Although I have in pretty much every other review I've done...hmmm. Well I fooled ye! If you really wanna know what happened, how about you give Chocolate a watch?? Now, onto what I thought. It was ok for being only 60 mins. There wasn't a whole lot of blood except for when the one dude almost got gutted, that was kinda gross. There were a few sex scenes with a bit of boob and butt (2 of the 3 B's my friends!) and umm....a murder scene or two...don't wanna give too much away now do we? I think overall I'd give it a 2 out 5. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't really that great either. I often found my mind wandering to other things, so the movie didn't hold my interest very well..or maybe it was me...who knows??? So there you have it, my thoughts on Chocolate. Why don't you go on ahead and give it peak huh? And while you're at it don't forget to check on Zombie Zanes review of Monster Shrews. And of course faithful readers, please do check back next week for new stuff, here at Dead End Horror.

SHREW YOU BUDDY!

AIN’T NUTTIN’ BUT A GANGSTA PARTY...Ok, not really. Let me start again. COMING TO YA LIVE AND DIRECT FROM THE SEVEN SIX ONE OH SEVEN. There. That was better wasn’t it? Anywho, Zombie Fuckin Zane here once again to entertain you. Or annoy you. Or both. So this week Sasha and I are still on our old school horror kick and we got some good shit for ya. Last week we did a Bela Lugosi type of thing and this week, we’re gonna be doing an old school monster movie type of thing. Ya know, ‘The Wolfman,’ ‘Creature of the Black Lagoon’ ‘The Killer Shrews’ shit like that. Sounds neat huh? I thought you’d like it. And if not...SUCK IT! (Ok, I promise I’ll stop saying that soon enough. But it’s funny to me still.)

So what I got for your ass’ today is my take on the film ‘THE KILLER SHREWS.’ Have you seen it? Better yet, have you even heard of this motherfucker? I came across this film in one of my many horror movie sets. Ya know, those 50 movie sets put out by Mill Creek? Anyway, this film was in one of my sets so I figured fuck it. Let’s have some cold beer and see what’s up with ‘THE KILLER SHREWS.’ Wanna hear about it? Cool. So let us cut the foreplay and get to the good stuff.

‘THE KILLER SHREWS’ is a 1959 sci-fi film directed by Ray Kellogg. It’s classified as sci-fi, but to me, it’s more of a horror/monster movies. I mean, HELLO! Giant shrews are total monsters. Right? This film is actually considered a cult classic which earns it a few extra cool points. It was released on June 25, 1959 and runs just about an hour and ten minutes. It stars James Best as Capt. Thorne Sherman, Ingrid Goude as Ann Cragis and Ken Curtis as Jerry Farrel. (Who, btw, was an annoying prick in the film and I was glad he died. SPOILER ALERT!)

Now ya got the particulars, lemme give you the plot.

Here’s what we got plot wise: This scientist guy is staying on an island working on a project to aid with the worlds population issue. Ya know, too many people and not enough resources type of thing. So he fucks about in his lab and accidently creates a hoard of giant shrews. Not sure what that has to do with world population control, but whatever. Actually I do know. I remember now. The scientist guy had a theory that if we were smaller, we’d consume less and therefore be able to not use up all of our natural resources. Or some shit like that. Anyway, the giant shrews have no more food left on the island, so they decide to eat the scientist and his guests. Obviously not wanting to be shrew chew, (lol, that was funny. Shrew chew. Hey? You didn’t think that was funny? Whatever. You know it was. You can laugh. It’s ok.) Not wanting to be SHREW CHEW, the scientist and his daughter and Capt. Sherman try to escape the island. Will they make it? You’ll have to watch and find out.

As far as what I thought about this film, I gotta tell ya I kinda dug it. Man I did. It was easy to watch, not to complicated, and the giant shrews were pretty amusing. I had a good time checking it out. Maybe the Bud Light had something to do with it. I don’t know. But I was expecting some kinda retarded-ass B movie. And on some levels it was, but all in all it was an enjoyable movie to watch. Now this is the part where I run down some of the stats but these older movies just don’t have the body counts, the nekkidness, the fuck scenes, the gore...they weren’t made that way back in the day. But what I can give you, is my score. And that’s the one that matters anyway, right?

Without further ramblings, here’s the what I give ‘THE KILLER SHREWS.’ On a scale of 1-5
(1 being a shit pile and 5 being awesome) I have to give this cult classic a solid 3. At first I was gonna go 2.5 but in retrospect, I bumped it up a little. So you should look into watching it. It’s definitely worth a view.
That’s all I got for ya today. Be sure and check out Sasha’s stuff as well. She’d be glad to show it to you. Until next time, take care, stay a-scared and I am out.