SOMTIMES THEY REALLY DO COME BACK..BITCHES By: SASHA SLAUGHTER

Hey there creepy readers that search for Willem Dafoe's penis. Pervs. Unfortunately, this article isn't about his penis, you may have to get off elsewhere. Or you could always stick around and get your mind blown =). Yes, it is yours truly Sasha Slaughter, entertaining you for the final time this week. Aww come on now, don't be sad. Zane'll be here tomorrow! Since our Stephen King tribute week is still going on, I thought I'd review a movie titled "Sometimes they come back". "Sometimes they come back" was a made for television horror flim based on a short story of the same name. It stars Tim Matheson, Brooke Adams, and Robert Rusler. It was directed by Tom McLoughlin and written by Stephen King (short story), Lawrence Konner, and Mark Rosenthal. So let me tell you a little about it huh?

Jim Norman moves back to his old hometown after being offered a job there. It was the last place Jim wanted to go, but under the circumstances, it's what he had to do to support his family. He moved away from the town twenty-seven year prior, after the horrific death of his older brother Wayne. He witnessed his brother being murdered by a group of greasers back in 1963 and hasn't been back since. The gang was murdered shortly afterward when their car, that was parked on the train tracks, was hit while they were inside. Shortly after starting his teaching job at the high school, Jim begins having nightmares about his brothers accident and the gang that killed him. Students that are close to him begin being involved in various accidents that look like suicides. One by one, as his students die, they are replaced by the greasers, disguised as new students in his class.

The greasers plan to kill Jim the same way they murdered Wayne in order to keep themselves from going to hell. They also plan on having a child witness the event, Jim's son Scott is who they have in mind. And the gang needs the remaining living member of the gang, Carl Mueller, who left just before the train struck the car. The gang harasses Jim's family in order to make sure he'll fulfill his promise and meet them where everything took place 27 years ago. Jim takes his wife and son to church where they'll be safe while he goes to find the gang. The gang eventually finds his wife son and lures them out of church and take them with them to the train tracks. Jim attempts to bring his brother back in a graveyard, but realizes there is something stopping him. It is then that Jim realizes that in order to bring back his brother, he has to cooperate with the gang and reenact the murder. Does Jim finally get the peace he has been searching for or do the greasers get their one ticket out of hell?

Ooooh!! The suspense is killin me smalls! Ohh, wait. It's not, I already know what happens. But those of you that haven't seen this movie don't, so go watch it! This was a decent film. Not a whole lot of gore or anything, but I think it was meant to be more of a ghost story type deal, with not alot of gore or violence. There were some semi gross scenes..but I won't give those away, you'll have to see for yourselves. The acting was good, and the plot was solid also. The greaser guys were mean little, vengeful bastards. But the one that laughed all the time, that high pitched annoying laugh...ughhh. But I guess it kinda went with the story..seeing as how they were all evil and stuff, trying to kill Jim and get out of hell. Overall I'd give "Sometimes they come back" a 3.5 out of 5. It's a pretty good ghost story type film and it kept me entertained throughout. And can I add that that car is beautiful! Yowza! Anyway, not one of my favorite Stephen King adaptations, but it's pretty good nonetheless. And while you're here, don't forget to peep out what Zane's got going on! Thanks for stopping by!

HAIL TO THE FUCKING KING! BY: ZOMBIE ZANE

Hello Dead End Horror fans that do jumping jacks in the nude while listening to the golden oldies radio station. What’s poppin' slimes? Anyway, as you may or may not be privy to, this week Sasha and I are all about Stephen King. We figured this was long overdue. I mean he is the grandfather of horror.

Yesterday, Sasha gave you a top five list of her favorite King adaptations. After reading it, I figured what the fuck, I wanna do one too! So, let’s cut out the foreplay and let me share with you my favorite King adaptations....

ZOMBIE ZANE’S TOP 5 STEPHEN KING ADAPTATIONS

5.  Stand By Me (1986) This film was adapted from a novella titled, “The Body.” One of my favorite films of all time. I’m sure all you are familiar with this one, if not, REALLY? Leave this post right now and go watch it. The barfing scene is one of the best scenes ever! “...LARD-ASS! LARD-ASS! LARD-ASS!” 

4.  Christine (1983) Again, I’m sure all of yous are familiar with this one as well. Like if you’re not, shit...I don’t know...Maybe this is a good time for you to crawl out under that rock and start watching some of these movies. This movie is full of cool shit. The flaming car chasing Buddy Repperton, one of the creepiest scenes in the movie. And by the way, this film was directed by John Carpenter. 

3.  The Green Mile (1999) Not of the horror variety, but still, classic fucking King. “...Take my hand, boss...” Remember that line? This is a totally great film. In fact, it makes my top 25 list of the best movies ever. The acting, the plot, I could write a 2000 word essay why this movie kicks ass. So if you haven’t seen this film and read the book, fuck off outta here and go do so. 

2.  IT (1990) This thing was a television miniseries so it’s uber long. But don’t let that detour you. Like this is one adaptation that was damn near just as good as the book. Not quite as good, but close. There ain’t nothing scarier than a killer clown in the sewers. Fucking Pennywise is a bad motherfucker. Tim Curry did a hella good job! Kudos to him. 

1. Salem’s Lot (1979) Another TV miniseries but whatever. I fucking LOVE this movie! Love it! It scared the shit out of me when I was a kid. I’ll never forget the first time I saw the floating kid vampires. (The Glick brothers) All around the vampires in this film look bad-ass! Like I know it’s old, but shit! Awesome film. 

Well, there you go. My top 5 King adaptations. I know I left out some good ones, but there’s my list, take it or fuck off. Anywho, be sure and keep checking back all the week for more Stephen King shit. And also, be sure to drop over and see the ebbing out of existence Sasha Slaughter.

Until next time, take care, stay a-scared, and I am out! See you on the flip side.

DANCING NAKED WITH ZOMBIES AND VAMPIRES BY: ZOMBIE ZANE

Hello Dead End Horror humans that run around looking all greasy and smelling even greasier! And by the way, that hair style...Change the oil! Plaster is out! So, what’s good? I’m just sitting here gulping some bitter and doing what I do best. Which is getting wasted. But that’s beside the point.

Seeing how we’ve been doing Halloween shit the last couple of weeks, I thought this would be a good time to give you some more Halloween tunes to rock out to. The way I see it, I’ve given you like 10 or so drink recipes, but only a handful of Halloween tunes. So how about we cut out the foreplay and get to rockin out with our cocks (or boobs) out! Hopefully more boobs ‘cause I ain’t really in to the twig and berries.

Song numero uno that is a must add to your Halloween playlist comes from the film, “Dead and Breakfast.” It’s called, ‘Comin’ to Kill Ya.’ For sure a sox rocking bastard of a song. Listen and love it!

Now that was all kinds of fuckin' fun, huh? I mean for real! Ya gotta add that song! Ya just gotta! Ok, let's try this one. It's a total classic and it has one of the best lines ever in it. How about a little 'Devil Went Down to Georgia!' 

                                                           
..."I done told ya once you sumbitch I'm the best that's ever been." Fuck yeah! CDB is the shit! Again, ya gotta have this song. Moving right along. This next tune is from one of my favorite bands of all time. This is 'Pet Sematary' by the Ramones. (Duh! I know sematary is spelled wrong, that' s how the title is. I can spell believe it or not.) Whatever the fuck, just rock out to this....

                                                        
 Great song from a kick-ass band! What's next you ask? And I answer. How about a little bit of 'Hell' from the Squirrel Nut Zippers. It's the live version, but whatever it kicks ass! Love the ending! 

                                                            
Like I got all kinds of killer tunes! Tell me I shouldn't be a DJ! Okay, maybe not. But this song is another Halloween party must. It's called 'Halloween' by Siouxsie and the Banshees. From the '80's but sox rockin! Listen and love it!            

                                                            
Okay Dead End Horror sox rockers that rock out with your nekkidness out! That's all the groovy tunes I got for ya today. But hey, don't be sad. Halloween is still a couple weeks away. I'm sure I'll post more tunes. But before you go and download these songs of Halloween awesomeness, go by and see if Sasha is rockin' out with her bust out. I bet she is. That's where I'm headed.

Until next time, take care, stay a-scared, and I am out! Peace peace and Halloween rockin' grease!

                                                                                                                                         

I AIN'T 'FRAID OF NO GHOST!!! By: SASHA SLAUGHTER

BOOO!!! Hey there fellow weirdos. Thanks for stopping by Dead End Horror and checking out my final movie review for haunted house week!! You thought I went old school on you yesterday with a flick from the early 70's?? Today I'll be practically shoving old school down your throats (you know you like it) with a movie from the late 1950's. The movie I'm talking about is, “House on Haunted Hill.”

 Sound familiar? Of course it does because there was another movie of the same title that came out in 1999. But we aren't talking about that one today. And besides, it's a remake of the one I'll be reviewing today. “House on Haunted Hill” was released on February 17, 1959 and was written by Robb White and directed by William Castle. And of course it stars the man, the myth, the legend...Vincent Price.

Oh yeahh! And here's something you might not know...Alfred Hitchcock was said have taken a notice of how well the low budget film “House on Haunted Hill” did at the box office, that he set out to make his own low budget horror film, which became the critically acclaimed hit Psycho (1960). Awesome!

Vincent Price stars in this B horror film as an eccentric millionaire named Frederick Loren . Frederick and his fourth wife Annabelle have invited five people to a haunted house for a "haunted house" party. The rules are that the house will be locked down at midnight and no one can leave. And anyone who makes it through the night alive will be given $10,00. Shortly after the five invited guests arrive, strange things start happening and they are trapped inside with ghosts, murderers and other terrors.

The five guests ( Nora Manning, Lance Schroder, Watson Pritchard, Dr. David Trent, and Ruth Bridges) arrive at the house in funeral cars being lead by a hearse. Vincent is talking while the guests arrive and say that the hearse may be empty now, but by the end of the night, you never know. When the guests enter the house and introduce themselves, the front door slams shut and a chandelier almost crushes one of the guests.

Mr. Loren appears shortly after and explains the rules of the party and gives everyone a .45 caliber pistol for their own protection. Mrs. Loren hints to the guests that her husband is psychotic and this causes the guests to be extremely suspicious of Mr. Loren, especially Nora Manning. Nora becomes paranoid and is convinced that Mr. Loren is trying to kill her when she sees mysterious ghouls throughout the house, including the ghost of Loren's wife Annabelle who had presumably hung herself after being forced to attend the party.

Almost as frightened as Nora is Watson Pritchard, who barely survived a night in that same house not long ago. He bought the house after he spent the night and was found almost dead the following day. He told the guests that while he was at the house before, another woman killed her own sister and his brother and hacked them into pieces and the parts were scattered all over the house. He goes on to tell them that all of the parts were found except the two heads.

He is fully convinced that the house is truly haunted and believes that the ghosts have the power to kill anyone in the house that they wish. After the supposed suicide of Annabelle, everyone is suspicious of everyone else and they all decide to go to their rooms with their pistols and stay there until morning. It is then that Dr. Trent goes into the room where Annabelle's body was laid on a bed. He tells her that it's almost over and they reveal the plan they've had all along to frighten Nora so badly that she would be spooked enough to shoot Mr. Loren. Dr. Trent tells Annabelle when she hears the gunshot to come into the basement.

After being frightened all evening, Nora runs into the basement when the lights suddenly go out. Mr. Loren appears in the basement next to her and Nora is so scared that she shoots him and then runs out of the basement. Dr. Trent comes out of a room in the basement and drags Loren's body to a vat of acid in the floor. The lights go out again and there are sounds of a struggle and the distinct sound of splashing.

The lights come back on and both men disappear. After hearing the gunshot, Annabelle enters the basement to confirm that her husband is dead and her and Dr. Trent's plan worked. All of the doors start slamming shut and a skeleton appears out of the acid, accompanied by Frederick's voice telling her that at last she's got everything he has, but she won't live to enjoy it. The skeleton approaches Annabelle and she recoils in terror and as she does she trips and falls into the vat of acid.

Frederick Loren steps out of the shadows with a contraption he was using to control the skeleton and in absolute triumph he watches Annabelle disintegrate. The other guests rush into the basement to find that Loren is alive. He tells Nora that her gun was loaded with blanks and that.....

If you're curious about the rest, I highly recommend going to Netflix and peeping out “House on Haunted Hill”  the 1959 version that is. I didn't really know what to expect from this movie. Obviously no stellar CGI or special effects, it was 1959 ya know. But I was a little surprised at the fact that some parts actually gave me the chills.

I wasn't scared...no sir...horror movies rarely scare me, but this one did creep me out just a little. Vincent Price is amazing...seriously. Zane turned me on to him and I'm so glad he did. There is just something about him (I mean Vincent Price, not Zane...although...ehh we'll get into that some other time).

I don't know if it's his smooth as silk voice or what, but he is definitely intriguing. The remake that came out in 1999 was very similar to the 1959 version, which surprised me. I thought that remake would totally suck, because most do. But the remake was almost exactly like the one from 59, but it had a bit more blood and death.

Although I will say I probably like the remake better...I know!! I can't help it y'all!! I'm a new school girl and while I appreciate the oldies, I'm all for the new stuff. There's more blood, guts, death...I love it!

Overall I'd give House on Haunted Hill a 4 out o 5. I was really impressed by this movie. The acting was great, especially Vincent Price's, he definitely stole the show. I think my favorite part was when Price was controlling that skeleton, it was super cheesy and not very believable, but it was the 50's, so they were working with what they had. I would recommend this movie to everyone and I would for sure watch it again. While you're here, how about you drop by and see what Zane is up to? And thanks for stopping by Dead End Horror. Check back next week!!

Sasha Slaughter

                                                                      

I THINK WE'RE GONNA NEED THE GHOSTBUSTERS FOR THIS ONE! By: SASHA SLAUGHTER

Well hello again creeps!! So nice of you to stop by! Sasha Slaughter here with you for day 2 of my haunted house themed movies. Today I'm gonna go a little old school on your candy asses. I'll be reviewing, “The Legend of Hell House.” It was released in 1973 and runs about 95 minutes. The novel and the screenplay were written by Richard Matheson and it was directed by John Hough.

“The Legend of Hell House” is a British Horror film, but in the original novel the story took place in Maine and the investigative team was made up of Americans. And here is a little info for you, a few scenes from the film were parodied by Scary Movie 2. Those scenes included the part where the main character Cindy is attacked by a cat and when the character named Alex has sex with a ghost. You learn something new everyday! So let's get it! 

When physicist Lionel Barrett is enlisted by the eccentric millionaire Mr. Deutsch to explore the Belasco house and prove that there is life after death, he and his team discover more than just that. Mr. Deutsch asks Barrett to go to the Belasco house where Mr. Deutsch says "It is the one place where life after death has yet to be refuted". He tells Barrett he will give him one week in the Belasco house to prove that there is indeed life after death.

The house was owned by the notorious so called "Roaring Giant" Emeric Belasco, the six-foot-five perverted millionaire (who participated in masochism and necrophilia, among other things) and supposed murderer who disappeared after a massacre in his home. The house is believed to be haunted by many spirits, some being the victims of Belasco's twisted and sick desires.

Accompanying Barrett, are his wife Ann as well as two mediums: a mental medium named Florence Tanner and physical medium, Ben Fischer, who is the sole survivor of an investigation 20 years ago. Barrett, being a rationalist, is skeptical of Tanner's Christian faith and spiritual beliefs, insisting that there is nothing but unfocused electromagnetic energy throughout the house. Barrett brings along a machine that he has developed to rid the house of any paranormal force. 

During a sitting that evening, Florence, being a mental medium, begins to show signs of physical phenomena during her trance. Later that evening after a fight with Barrett about his skepticism about her, Barrett blames Florence when he is attacked by seemingly invisible forces and accuses her of using the houses energy against him. Meanwhile Ben Fischer remains totally aloof to the things happening around him, trying to keep his mind closed to the houses influence, and only being there to collect the generous pay they were offered to go to the house.

While lying in bed, Ann, Barret's wife, starts seeing erotic shadows of a statue on the ceiling. She gets up to get a drink and sees a book about erotic visions. Shortly after she goes downstairs in a trance and takes off her clothes in front of Fishcher and demands sex from him. He strikes her in the face (a guy turning down sex??? what?) and she snaps out of her trance.

She returns to herself, horrified and embarrassed and runs up the stairs. Another incident occurs two days later, although this time she is fully awake but she is drunk. She places Fishcher's hand on her chest and demands that he touch her, and then she realizes her husband is watching from the stairs. Barrett is angry and tells Fishcher that he believes that he no longer has any psychic ability and that Mr. Deutsch is wasting a third of his money on him. Fischer is offended by the accusation and later that night he drops his psychic shields only to be attacked and left writhing on the floor in agony.

Florence is convinced that one of the "surviving personalities" of the house is Belacso's son Daniel and is determined to prove it at all costs. She is led to a room in the basement where she finds a skeleton chained to a wall and believes it to be the body of Daniel Belasco. They bury the body outside and Florence performs a funeral. Despite being buried, Daniel's personality continues to haunt Florence: she is scratched violently by a possessed cat and Barrett, upon seeing the scratches, is convinced that they were self inflicted by Florence.

Later that night, in an attempt to put the supposed soul of Daniel to rest, Florence gives herself to the entity sexually (ghost sex!!!). Shortly after it appears as though Florence has been possessed by Daniel himself and starts acting strangely, although the possession is shortly lived. Fischer tells Barrett that he is taking Florence away from the house because it is going to kill everyone if they don't get out. Barrett tells him he can leave, but Fischer says he will stay because he was the only survivor 20 years ago and he will be the only survivor again.

Barett tells Fischer and Florence about the machine he has constructed to eliminate all paranormal forces. Florence attempts to destroy the machine thinking that it will harm the spirits in the house. She is quickly stopped and knocked out by Barrett. Barrett notes that there wasn't any damage done to the machine and is busy getting it ready when Florence wakes up and makes her way to the chapel, the unholy heart of the Belasco house.

She attempts to warn the spirits about the machine when a crucifix falls on her, crushing and killing her. In her last dying moments, she writes a clue in blood, the true source of the haunting, which she now knows. Meanwhile, Barrett activates the machine and he, Ann, and Fischer leave the house for a few moments while the machine does what he has built it to do. They return a few minutes later and while Fishcher is using his psychic abilities to search the house, he finally exclaims that the house is clear of all spirits.

Shortly after, while Ann and Fishcher are resting, violent psychic activity resumes and Barrett is eventually killed in the chapel. Ann hears strange noises and goes to find her husbands body in the chapel, crushed by a chandelier. Fishcher tells her that he is going to confront the house and she goes with him. In the chapel, a confrontation ensues: thanks to clues from the way that Florence, Barrett, and many others died in the house, Fischer realizes that Belasco is the sole identity that is haunting the house and is masquerading as many others. He taunts Belasco, calling him a "funny little dried up bastard" who fooled everyone about his..........

Well then, what was that dastardly little ghostie fooling everyone about?? If you really wanna know, go watch The Legend of Hell House. So this movie was from 1973 and I'm more a new school person, but I actually really liked this film.

The special effects I thought were pretty decent for being made in the 70's. The acting was pretty good also and I thought the plot was actually really good too. I mean, we've all seen haunted house movies, but this one was probably one of the better ones I've seen.

It kind of took a while to get good and parts of it were really slow, but it was worth the wait. There was a genuine creepiness to it that I really enjoyed. There was some semi-nudity (the girl was naked and it was dark in the room, so there wasn't much to see) and some sexual situations, like when the Christian girl was givin it to the ghostie...isn't that maybe borderline necrophilia...since the ghost is dead?? I don't know!!!

I read somewhere that there were some scenes missing in the Netflix version of the movie, and I'm thinking that may be true. Some of the scenes didn't really make sense and when I read what scenes were missing, only then did they make sense. Regardless if there missing scenes or not (Boo to Netflix if there were!) this was a pretty good movie.

Overall I'd give Legend of Hell House a solid 3.5 out of 5. It took a while to get going, and the music during the movie was awfully annoying. Another good thing about this movie is that it didn't rely on CGI to make it creepy. It just used old fashioned good acting, good lighting, and good writing. I would definitely watch this movie again in the future, probably several more times. 

Now that you know how I feel about “The Legend of Hell House,” how about you go and see how Zane feels about whatever it is he plans on writing about!! And thanks for stopping by!

Sasha Slaughter

CANNIBAL CREEPER By: SASHA SLAUGHTER

Hey there horror fans who are addicted to our blog and search for "Sasha Slaughter naked" on the Internet (Ok, so I kinda stole that from Zane <3). Sasha Slaughter here with you, and no, I'm not naked...sorry to disappoint. Anyway! Today I'll be seducing your peepers with a review of the 1972 film Raw Meat.

It was written and directed by Gary Sherman. And here's something you may or may not know, the film was originally called Death Line but it was distributed as Raw Meat in the United States. And I've got one more nugget of info to share with you! This movie is a take on a gruesome urban legend from the British Isles. Legend has it that it was based on a family that was forced into cannibalism and liked it. They became insular (living on an island) because of their cannibalistic ways and because they were insular, they also became inbred as well. Ewwww!  Enough about inbred, let’s talk about the movie.

 In 1892 a group of workers got trapped under the streets of London after a tunnel cave in. They are forced to survive on their own. The company they were working for went bankrupt and couldn't afford to dig the bodies out, so they were abandoned. The survivors, four men and four women, were forced to live off of the flesh of their dead. And now that they have all died, the sole descendant of the survivors resurfaces to satisfy his appetite for the living.

James Manford, a respected politician is walking around town checking out various peep shows. He's at the train station on his way home when he tries to proposition a hooker. She gets upset that he wont pay her until she services him and kicks him in the nads and runs. Manford is trying to recover when he sees something and starts to panic.

 Later on Patricia and her American boyfriend Alex are getting off of the train when they find the politician on the stairs of the train station. Patricia insists that they help him and Alex believes the man is drunk and wants to leave him. They find a constable and tell him about the man on the stairs. Alex takes the constable to the check on the man but when they get there the man is gone.

Back at the station, Rogers and Calhoun are talking about the train station and how the tunnel caved in 1892 and the bodies were never recovered because the company went bankrupt and couldn't afford to dig them out. They notice a pattern of people going missing in the same train station as Manford and want to know more. Back at the tunnels, in the train station, a diseased riddled creeper is kneeling above his sick mate. He knows something is wrong so he takes Manford's body and slits his throat so she can drink his blood.

 In the train station Patricia is waiting for the next train with her suitcase when she decides to go back to Alex. As she is getting on the train to go back to Alex, the creepers mate dies and he freaks out and leaves the tunnels. He finds people in the station and they try to fight them off. The creeper splits a mans head open with a shovel and impales another with a broom handle. He drags the third man off to his home in the tunnels.

Calhoun and Rogers are called early in the morning and told about the murders in the train station. They arrive at the morgue and inspect the bodies of the two men attacked and killed. They are told that one is missing and that there is a possible fourth man because they recovered blood on the handle of the broom that didn't belong to either of the two victims. Calhoun decides to ask Alex to come back for further questioning about Manford and when he doesn't hear what he wants, he quickly dismisses him. One of the doctors from the morgue calls Calhoun shortly after Alex leaves to tell him that they are sure that there was a fourth man in the train station and that they tested his blood and found that the man has the plague and is very sick.

 Alex and Patricia are getting off a train after a date and Patricia leaves her books on the train. Alex runs into the train to get them when the doors close. She tells him that she will meet him at home. As she starts to leave the station the creeper comes up behind her and drags her into the tunnels. When Alex returns home to an empty apartment, he immediately knows that something is wrong.

Patricia wakes up and realizes she is locked away in a room. She sees rats all around her and starts screaming. The creeper comes into the room and kills and bites some of the rats while Patricia hides under a table. He drags her out and lays her on a make shift bed. He tries to calm her down and hug her when she hits him and then runs away.

Meanwhile back at the train station Alex gets off of the train and decides to explore the tunnels in search of Patricia. He eventually finds her and tries to talk to her and touch her face but she keeps slapping his hands away and screaming. He gets frustrated that she won't cooperate so he rips her shirt (brief boob shot alert!!) and she starts to scream. The creeper runs away and Alex hears Patricia's screams and calls out to her. She keep calling for him to help her and he finds her laying on the ground. He goes to help her up when the creeper runs toward him and...

And then????? If you'd like to find that out, then mosey on over to Netflix and watch Raw Meat. I'm not really sure what to think of this movie. It was definitely strange. It was supposed to be gory, scary, and violent...but I didn't see much of that at all. The movie took forever to get even remotely interesting.

The first few minutes of the movie was some guy walking around looking into the camera while some cheesy porno music played. It sort of seemed irrelevant to the movie a little. In fact there where a few scenes that I thought were kind of that way but, what do I know?

There was some blood and a little gore, but I expected more. They made it sound a lot gorier in the description of the movie. There was a part in the tunnels where they showed a few bodies in various stages of decomposition, which I thought was cool. But there was also a part in the tunnels where they panned around the room for 10 minutes and all you heard was dripping water and what sounded like a heart beat. That was sort of annoying.

 And the creeper was supposed to be a descendant of cannibals, well I really didn't see him eat anyone. I was sitting there thinking EAT SOMEONE ALREADY!! He had a bunch of dead bodies in his little tunnel home thinger, but it never really showed him eating anyone. He killed a few people, but I was waiting for him to eat them. I was sort of disappointed by the cannibal guy.

He acted too civilized to be believable (He lit lanterns and cried). He was supposed to have been raised in the tunnels and I was kind of expecting someone a little more dumb. He couldn't talk and he did look really gross. They did an exceptional job on special effects of the sores and disease on the cannibals face. But that was best part about him, the way he looked. He was a drooling, disease infested freak...that didn't eat anyone. BOO!!

The best part of the movie was inspector Calhoun. He was a riot!! He was always bitching about wanting tea and when he got it he'd dig the tea bag out of his cup with a dart. It was too funny! He was really sarcastic and cynical and when he swore at someone, he whispered it. That made me laugh. Overall I'd give Raw Meat a 2.5 out of 5. I was gonna give it a 2, but that inspector guy made me giggle, so I bumped up the score a little.

There was some cussing (but the guy whispered when he swore, which was funny) and an incredibly brief boob shot. Nothing special really. I doubt I'd watch this movie again. So now that I'm done here, you can go and see what Zane's got going on in his part of the world. I'm almost sure it might involve boobs or dingus, since I guess we need more of that...=). Thanks for stopping by Dead End Horror.

Sasha 'not naked' Slaughter

                                                                             

BRAIN EATING ZOMBIES AND A NAKED GRAVE DANCIN CHICK!!! By: SASHA SLAUGHTER

If the house is rockin, don't come knockin!! OWWW!!! Well, my house was rocking earlier, and it wasn't because of you're thinkin =) That's right, we felt a little of the shake from the quake....yikes! Anyway, let's get down to it! Today I'll be reviewing Night of the Living Dead...old school right!!?? Well, I've never seen the whole thing, so I decided what the hell, it's got zombies and as you all know, I loves me some brain eatin zombies!! It came out in 1985 and was directed by Dan O' Bannon.

In this horror/comedy two employees from a medical supply company unknowingly release several zombies from cylinders that they've been trapped in for years. It causes local citizens to deal with a large scale zombie epidemic. Frank is showing new employee Freddy the ropes when he mentions that there are bodies in basement that have been there for fourteen years. He tells him that they came from the Army when a chemical seeped into the morgue and brought the dead back to life. The Army attempted to get rid of the problem and accidently shipped the contaminated soil and dead bodies to the medical supply company.

They go into the basement and look at the cylinders. Frank taps on one of them to assure Freddy that they are sturdy and when he does, it breaks causing a chemical gas to be released into the basement and out of the warehouse. The gas causes Freddy and Frank to pass out and when they come to they are both starting to feel sick. They come out of the basement and hear strange noises coming from the warehouse. They go to find that the stuffed dogs they sell to veterinarian school have come to life and then they hear screaming coming from where they keep dead bodies.

A colonel from the Army is talking to his wife about finding the missing bodies. He tells her he can't rest until they are found and that they could be anywhere. While Freddy and Frank try to figure out what the noises are, his friends are waiting in the graveyard for him to get off of work. They all want to party but don't have anywhere to go so they take a radio to the graveyard and hang out. (And then comes the part with the creepy red head named "Trash" dancing naked on a grave...I guess that's supposed to iconic or something??). Anyway, Frank decides to call his boss Burt and tell him what happened.                                          

When Burt arrives Frank explains what happened. They tell him about the screams coming from where the dead bodies are kept. They come up with a plan to kill the cadaver and then destroy the evidence. Frank opens the door and the cadaver runs out headed straight for Burt. They catch it and bury a pick axe into it's brain but it wont die. So Burt decides to chop it up in pieces. He tells Frank and Freddy that he has a friend that runs a mortuary and he's going to ask him to help them. Burt goes to the morgue and asks his friend Ernie (Haha...Burt and Ernie!) for help. At first he tells him there are rabid weasels in the bag and they need to destroy them. But when Burt says he'll take them outside and shoot them Burt finally tells him what's actually in the bag. He shows Ernie the body parts and Ernie agrees to help him by burning the parts in the incinerator.

As the body is being burned the chemical gas is released into the air and then it starts to rain. Freddy's friends are in the graveyard when the rain starts and they run to their car yelling that the rain is burning their skin. As the rain soaks into the ground, it begins to bring corpses back to life. Tina goes to the medical warehouse to look for Freddy and she goes into the basement. One of the things from the cylinders attacks her yelling that it wants her brains. Her friends come and rescue her and they all leave the warehouse and run back into the graveyard. Trash gets attacked by zombies (Thankfully, I was tired of seeing that bitch naked) and the rest of her friends escape. Three of them manage to make it to the mortuary when Ernie calls 911 and asks for paramedics to come because there are two men that are poisoned.  

The EMT's show up and can't get a pulse or blood pressure Frank or Freddy. They say that their body temperature is 70 degrees and that it's not normal. The EMT's go to get stretchers when they are attacked by zombies. Freddy's friends make it to the mortuary and tell Burt that there are bodies all over the place and that they're killing people. They begin boarding up the mortuary to keep the zombies out. When questioned about what's wrong with Frank and Freddy, Burt finally admits that a chemical was released when Frank and Freddy were messing with the cylinders in the basement. He tells them that the chemical gas escaped and they both breathed it in and it's causing them to get sick.

Frank and Freddy complain of stiffness and pain and Ernie checks them and says that they are starting to exhibit signs of rigor mortis and that they are dying. Just then zombies break into the mortuary and kill one of Freddy's friends. Ernie grabs the zombie and straps it to a table in the embalming room. It starts talking and tells him that they want to eat their brains because it takes the pain of being dead away. They decide to lock Freddy and Frank in the chapel incase they turn into zombies. Tina insists on being locked in the room with Freddy. Shortly after they are locked in, Freddy turns into a zombie and tries to attack Tina. Ernie comes into the room and grabs her and they try and board the doors shut. Right before Frank turns into a zombie he puts himself in the incinerator to die.

Burt and Spider go outside and get in a cop car to try and get help. They end up at the warehouse and call the cops. The cops set up a barricade to try and stop whatever was happening but the zombies break through and start killing all of the cops. Back at the mortuary, only Ernie and Tina are left so they block themselves into the attic to keep from being killed. Burt finally realizes that no one is coming to help so he calls the number on the cylinders in the basement. He gets patched through to Colonel Glover and explains to him what's happening. Colonel Glover calls the General and tells him that they've found the cylinders in Louisville, KY but they have been opened. Burt is told that the Army had a plan in place to deal with the cylinders incase they were to be opened. The Army then lines up a missle and....

BOOOM!! What?? Idk, watch and see what happens dammit! Now, let's see what I thought shall we?? Ehh.. I gotta say, it's super cheesy. The acting is wayyyy over the top and the characters in the movie definitely look 80's! Too funny. I guess because I'm "new school" I'm not really used to seeing old stuff like that. That movie is older than me! I think overall I'd give it a 2.5 out of 5. I love zombies and everything, but this movie was one giant cheese doodle man! I know it was made in the 80's and everything, but yeesh! I will admit that the special effects were kinda cool. That zombie thing from they cylinder was creepy, except for the face. That made me laugh. It's eyes were all funny looking. Didn't really match the body, you know what I'm saying??

And the zombie skeleton writhing on the table bitching about wanting to eat brains was pretty cool too. I must say though, that red haired girl was kind of annoying. Not only was her acting bad, I was tired of seeing her naked. JEEZ! She was naked for practically the whole movie. I was tired of seeing her boobs, butt and vadge!! GROSS! There was a good amount of blood and brain matter, which was great and the zombies looked kinda creepy. It was all good except for that naked red haired bitch. For real! Now you know my thoughts, how about you go on and see what Zane is thinking?? Thanks for stopping by! We appreciate it mucho!

SASHA SLAUGHTER

HAIRY PEOPLE, A CREEPY COUNT AND SILENCE...OH MY!! By: SASHA SLAUGHTER

Hey hey hey!! Sasha Slaughter here with you for the final day of old school horror!!! It's raining in this bitch!!! I hope I don't lose power!! Yipes! Anyway, it is the last day of old school horror month, I hope Zane and I made it entertaining and informational for you. And if you didn't like it, well friends there is only one thing you can do...SUCK IT! Ha!! Now pay attention while I review Nosferatu for your reading pleasure.

Nosferatu came out in 1929 and was directed by F.W. Murnau. It's a silent foreign horror film (German to be exact) and it was based on Bram Stoker's novel Dracula. Basically the plot of this little foreign film has real estate agent Hutter conducting business with the dark Count Orlok. Hutters' boss Knock sends him to Transylvania because Orlok is interested in buying property in Wisborg, where Hutter and his wife Ellen are from. Knock tells Hutter to offer Orlok the old abdoned home across from his own, so Hutter sets out to Transylvania to talk to Orlok and see if he is interested.

While on his journey to Transylvania Hutters tells several people of his intent to go to Orlok's castle, they are frightened and tell him he cannot go until morning because the wolf is roaming the forest. The following day Hutter continues his trip to see Orlok. The men who take him by carriage stop in the middle in the journey and tell him they won't go any further because the other side of the pass they have to cross is creepy. As Hutter is walking, a strange man in a carriage comes and picks him up and takes him to Count Orlok's castle. Orlok welcomes him into the castle but while he is eating dinner he cuts himself and Orlok attempts to suck the blood from his finger. Hutter is frightened and repulsed by him.

The following morning upon waking up he sees two puncture wounds on his neck but thinks that they are perhaps mosquito bites. While reading the papers to purchase the house Orlok sees a picture of Hutter's wife Ellen and is mesmerized and then says that she has a beautiful neck. Later that night Hutter goes to explore the grounds and finds Orlok in a coffin and freaks out. Shortly after that Hutter sees Orlok take his coffin and leave by horse and carriage. Hutter ties bed sheets together to escape (Why didn't he just use the front door??) and tries to get to his wife Ellen is Wisborg. He falls out the window and two farmers find him and take him to a hospital.

Orlok manages to get his coffin aboard a ship and ends up in Wisborg. Along the way all of the men on the ship are killed by Orlok. In Wisborg there is a report that there is a widespread epidemic or plague happening in Transylvania. Victims appear to have two scars or puntcure wounds on their neck and then they get sick. The townspeople are fearing for their lives so they are asked to stay inside and lock their doors and windows. Orlok makes it to Wisborg with coffin in hand and finds the house across from Hutter and Ellen. Finally after a long journey Hutter makes it home safely shortly after Orlok's arrival. Ellen begins to act strangely and sees the wicked Count Orlok in the window of the house across from her. She reads in a book that the only way to stop a vampire is to give her blood willingly. She feigns an illness and tells Hutter to get a doctor. After he leaves Orlok arrives at their home and drinks Ellen's blood until sunrise and then....

Ahh ha! How about you watch Nosferatu and find out what happens?? Or not. Personally I thought it was a total snooze fest. I KNOW! It's a damn classic and it's been called the "scariest Dracula adaptation ever" blah blah blah. Fuck that noise. I was bored as hell!! I was literally counting down the minutes until it was over. Don't hate. Overall I'd rate this bad (and I emphasize bad) boy a 2 out of a possible 5. I'm more of a new school person and that whole silent film thing is not my shot of vodka at all!! The people in the movie were creepy and wickedly hairy...I mean their sideburns and eyebrows were....scary!! The acting (If you can call it that) was a bit ridiculous and the music was insanely annoying (You best believe I muted that after 5 minutes).

But I will say, I was going to give this movie a 1.5 but the fact that Count Orlok was so hideous and grotesque kinda bumped up my score. The make up was insane! And his little gnarled twisted fingers...ughh! He was the best part of that movie (Well that and the actual end was the best part...you know, when it was over.) Anyway, thats what I thought about Nosferatu. I didn't hate it but I didn't love it. It was my first silent film ever and Zane is definitley teaching me a thing or two about horror. With that being said, don't forget to check out Zanes stuff, he's a bit of an exhibitionist of sorts, he loves showing you what he's got, huh Zane?? =) And as always do come back next week for all new stuff here at Dead End Horror.

PS!! Before I go, take a peep at this....

ONE BUSH, TWO TWIGS, AND FOUR BERRIES!! By:ZOMBIE ZANE

JUMP BACK FUNKY CATS!! AWWWW SHIT! Zombie Zane here once again coming to ya live and direct from the seven six one oh seven. Hope all is well in your corner(s) of da world. Hope everyone has a nice cool place to kick back and Cadillac in. It’s too hot to be fucking about outside, no? Anyway, this month is coming to an end and so is our old school horror tribute. But it’s been a freaky-fun-fucked up ride, hasn’t it? I mean I’ve really enjoyed watching some of this films. And I hope that you’ve had fun reading/watching them as well. If you haven’t then fuck off outta here and read someone else. Did that sound harsh? I’m sorry. Well...kinda I am. Anyway, let’s get to today’s post shall we? I got a great old school horror movie to tell you about today. Have you ever seen ‘THE LAST WOMAN ON EARTH?’ Ever wanted to have a threesome with the lovely and busty Sasha Slaughter and myself? Ok, disregard that last question. But it is relevant to the film I’m about to review. Well kinda. So how about we cut the foreplay and get into the review.

‘THE LAST WOMAN ON EARTH’ is a made in the USA sci-fi film directed by Roger Corman. Now if you’ve been reading my shit, you’ll know that Roger Corman also directed ‘Little Shop of Horrors.’ And if you haven’t been reading my shit, then now you know now. Moving right along. This film was released in September of 1960 and it runs just over 70mins. It can be found in those ‘bargain box’ horror sets as well as a few other places. I got my copy in the Anniversary Edition of 50 Horror Classics put out by Mill Creek. I highly recommend those ‘bargain box’ sets. It’s a great way to boost up your horror movie collection.

So now you know some of the particulars of this movie, here’s the plot: It’s about three friends(two dudes and a woman) who are vacationing in Puerto Rico. After some breakfast and some drinks, they decide they should do some scuba diving. No harm in that, right? But after they surface, they discover some freaky deaky shit...They are the only ones left alive on the whole island. And quite possibly the whole world. Now being faced with this possibility, the two men turn on one another in an attempt to be with the only woman left on the planet. Typical man bullshit I know. But if I were stuck with another dude and there was only one woman left on the Earth, I’d mad squabble too. I wouldn’t want to be the only one jerking off...Would you? The nights would be mighty lonely. Another option instead of fighting would of course be to just have threesomes...But then again, that could cause jealousy and all kinds of other shit. Then what about this...The woman decides she wants to be a lesbo and the two men are left doing a circle jerk kinda thing...Not good either. Basically this is one fucked up situation that I hope I’m never apart of. One panty hamster, two twigs and four berries...those number just don’t add up in anyone’s favor. Unless you’re the woman in which case you get your pick of the two dudes.

Ok, I know I rambled there, but I did manage to get the plot. At least I hope I did. So as far as what I thought of the film...Overall I liked it. The ending was just kinda so-so for me. It kinda ended abrupt and I felt that the message it was trying to convey wasn’t really clear. I mean I got the idea but it could’ve been better. Now don’t get me wrong, it is a fucked up plot. What a situation! So it gets some cool points for that but as I said, due to the kinds shitty ending it loses some as well. Final score for ‘THE LAST WOMAN ON EARTH’ is a 2 out of 5. Not horrible, but it could’ve been better.

Well, there it is. That’s all I got for your ass’ today. Make sure and check out Sasha’s stuff as well. She loves showing off her stuff. And she loves knowing that you are looking at it. Ain’t that right Sasha? So, until next time, take care, stay a-scared, and I am out.! Rock out with your cock out!!

HERE'S THE TRAILER JUST IN CASE YOU WANNA YOU WANNA LOOK-SEE

PLANT YO' ASS DOWN AND READ THIS SHIT!! by: ZOMBIE ZANE

BOOM-SHA-LOCK-LOCK-BOOM! Damn hell it’s still hot here in the seven six one oh seven. It’s so fuckin’ hot that I saw a dog chasing a cat yesterday and they was walkin!! In any case, it’s me, your good buddy Zombie Zane here once again to share with you some more horror movie reviews. This is the last week of our old school horror tribute so I thought I’d close it out with three, count them three old school horror film reviews. Sound good? I thought so. And if in any way you’re tired of these old school horror films, piss off outta here and come back next week when we go back to more of a current type of deal. So until then, kick back and let me tell you about one of the movies I watched this week. Ever heard of ‘LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS?’ No? Well allow me to educate...

‘LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS’ is a 1960 comedy/horror film directed by Roger Corman. Now this film was actually produced under the title ‘The Passionate People Eater.’ Why they changed the name to ‘Shop of Horrors’ I don’t know. But, I do know that they shot the movie in just days and it only cost a mere $30,000 to make. (Two days! Fucking A!)

This film also has a cult following and was previously released as the B movie on a double feature with ‘Black Sunday.’ And it was eventually released with the film (on another double feature) ‘THE LAST WOMAN ON EARTH.’ Which I will be reviewing later on in the week. This film was also remade in 1986 as more of a musical. It’s good though. In fact, I saw the remake when I was a kid and loved the hell out of it. It was fucking great. You should look in to it.

Now that I gave you a bit of background, let’s delve into the plot, yes? "LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS" breaks down like this: A dorky guy by the name of Seymour works in a shit-hole florist shop and is in love with his co-worker. Now this Seymour is an amateur botanist who discovers a rare plant and hopes to use this plant to make a name for himself and win over Audrey. (His co-worker) Now this ain’t your ordinary rare plant. No sir! This motherfucking plant can talk! Talk I say! And the best part...It can only survive on a steady diet of human flesh and blood. So poor Seymour is forced to start killing people in order to keep the plant alive. (Cue the dramatic music now) One more side note here. Jack Nicholson is actually in this film for a cameo. So you can add some cool points for that.

So ya got the plot, ya got the background, now let me tell you what I thought of this film. Cause my opinion is the ONE that matters, right? I liked it. I liked the unique characters, I liked the comedy element, the dialogue was funny as fuck, and the acting wasn’t half bad believe it or not. All in all it was a great way to spend 73mins. I give this bad boy a solid 3 out of 5. Pretty high for an old B movie. My favorite character had to be the owner of the flower shop. He was fucking hi-larious!! Dude made me laugh out loud a few times. SO there ya go. ‘LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS’ gets a 3 out of 5.

Well, that’s all I got for your ass today. Be sure and check out Sasha’s stuff as well. She’s always glad to show it to ya. Until next time, take care, stay a-scared and I am out!

PS!!! THE CRAZY JACK NICHOLSON AT THE DENTIST...LOOK HOW YOUNG!