HAIL TO THE FUCKING KING! BY: ZOMBIE ZANE

Hello Dead End Horror fans that do jumping jacks in the nude while listening to the golden oldies radio station. What’s poppin' slimes? Anyway, as you may or may not be privy to, this week Sasha and I are all about Stephen King. We figured this was long overdue. I mean he is the grandfather of horror.

Yesterday, Sasha gave you a top five list of her favorite King adaptations. After reading it, I figured what the fuck, I wanna do one too! So, let’s cut out the foreplay and let me share with you my favorite King adaptations....

ZOMBIE ZANE’S TOP 5 STEPHEN KING ADAPTATIONS

5.  Stand By Me (1986) This film was adapted from a novella titled, “The Body.” One of my favorite films of all time. I’m sure all you are familiar with this one, if not, REALLY? Leave this post right now and go watch it. The barfing scene is one of the best scenes ever! “...LARD-ASS! LARD-ASS! LARD-ASS!” 

4.  Christine (1983) Again, I’m sure all of yous are familiar with this one as well. Like if you’re not, shit...I don’t know...Maybe this is a good time for you to crawl out under that rock and start watching some of these movies. This movie is full of cool shit. The flaming car chasing Buddy Repperton, one of the creepiest scenes in the movie. And by the way, this film was directed by John Carpenter. 

3.  The Green Mile (1999) Not of the horror variety, but still, classic fucking King. “...Take my hand, boss...” Remember that line? This is a totally great film. In fact, it makes my top 25 list of the best movies ever. The acting, the plot, I could write a 2000 word essay why this movie kicks ass. So if you haven’t seen this film and read the book, fuck off outta here and go do so. 

2.  IT (1990) This thing was a television miniseries so it’s uber long. But don’t let that detour you. Like this is one adaptation that was damn near just as good as the book. Not quite as good, but close. There ain’t nothing scarier than a killer clown in the sewers. Fucking Pennywise is a bad motherfucker. Tim Curry did a hella good job! Kudos to him. 

1. Salem’s Lot (1979) Another TV miniseries but whatever. I fucking LOVE this movie! Love it! It scared the shit out of me when I was a kid. I’ll never forget the first time I saw the floating kid vampires. (The Glick brothers) All around the vampires in this film look bad-ass! Like I know it’s old, but shit! Awesome film. 

Well, there you go. My top 5 King adaptations. I know I left out some good ones, but there’s my list, take it or fuck off. Anywho, be sure and keep checking back all the week for more Stephen King shit. And also, be sure to drop over and see the ebbing out of existence Sasha Slaughter.

Until next time, take care, stay a-scared, and I am out! See you on the flip side.