NAKED WITCHES AND SKULLDUGGERY BY: ZOMBIE (RFR) ZANE

Hello Dead End Horror sheep that do the plaster-blaster and cram cheese balls down your gullets at 5a.m. while being a secret spy on facebook. What’s new? Fuck, it seems like it’s been a minute since my last post. In my defense I have been a busy zombie. What with fantasy football and my little Yahoo gig, what can I say? Be lucky I’m typing this up any motherfucking way.

So like there’s some cool horror shit playing on TV right now. Ya got AMC’S Fearfest, Ya got The Walking Dead (also on AMC), Ya got American Horror Story on FX, and Ya got the shit on Chiller and Sy-Fy. So all kinds of good TV! Set your fucking DVR’s and get some junk food and beer, ya dig? 

Anyway, let me tell you what we got happening this week here at Dead End Horror. That is if ya wanna know. If you don’t, fuck off and we’ll smell ya later. Ain’t that right Sasha? SO back to what we have coming up for your ass this week at DEH(Dead End Horror.)

We got some really good shit this week. Sasha will be telling you about 5 of her best ever Halloween costumes. (I hope she includes the year she dressed up as a dead hooker. Holy fuck that was HOT!) She’ll also be giving you the low down about the history of Halloween. I mean you dipshits could stand to gain some knowledge after all.  

As far as what I’ve got...not too sure at the moment. I plan on reviewing a couple of movies. Not sure the titles but it’s been a minute or three since I’ve reviewed a film. I may throw in some shit about the ‘Halloween Movies’ dynasty, or maybe I’ll take the easy way out and just feed you some useless drivel. But whatever I decide to do, it’ll be good.

Umm...I guess that’s about it. Be sure and check us out tomorrow. Sasha will be doing her Halloween costume thang and there may be some partial nudity involved. One can only hope. So until then, take care, stay a-scared, and I am out! Peace peace and randy ghost busting grease!

BRAIN EATING ZOMBIES AND A NAKED GRAVE DANCIN CHICK!!! By: SASHA SLAUGHTER

If the house is rockin, don't come knockin!! OWWW!!! Well, my house was rocking earlier, and it wasn't because of you're thinkin =) That's right, we felt a little of the shake from the quake....yikes! Anyway, let's get down to it! Today I'll be reviewing Night of the Living Dead...old school right!!?? Well, I've never seen the whole thing, so I decided what the hell, it's got zombies and as you all know, I loves me some brain eatin zombies!! It came out in 1985 and was directed by Dan O' Bannon.

In this horror/comedy two employees from a medical supply company unknowingly release several zombies from cylinders that they've been trapped in for years. It causes local citizens to deal with a large scale zombie epidemic. Frank is showing new employee Freddy the ropes when he mentions that there are bodies in basement that have been there for fourteen years. He tells him that they came from the Army when a chemical seeped into the morgue and brought the dead back to life. The Army attempted to get rid of the problem and accidently shipped the contaminated soil and dead bodies to the medical supply company.

They go into the basement and look at the cylinders. Frank taps on one of them to assure Freddy that they are sturdy and when he does, it breaks causing a chemical gas to be released into the basement and out of the warehouse. The gas causes Freddy and Frank to pass out and when they come to they are both starting to feel sick. They come out of the basement and hear strange noises coming from the warehouse. They go to find that the stuffed dogs they sell to veterinarian school have come to life and then they hear screaming coming from where they keep dead bodies.

A colonel from the Army is talking to his wife about finding the missing bodies. He tells her he can't rest until they are found and that they could be anywhere. While Freddy and Frank try to figure out what the noises are, his friends are waiting in the graveyard for him to get off of work. They all want to party but don't have anywhere to go so they take a radio to the graveyard and hang out. (And then comes the part with the creepy red head named "Trash" dancing naked on a grave...I guess that's supposed to iconic or something??). Anyway, Frank decides to call his boss Burt and tell him what happened.                                          

When Burt arrives Frank explains what happened. They tell him about the screams coming from where the dead bodies are kept. They come up with a plan to kill the cadaver and then destroy the evidence. Frank opens the door and the cadaver runs out headed straight for Burt. They catch it and bury a pick axe into it's brain but it wont die. So Burt decides to chop it up in pieces. He tells Frank and Freddy that he has a friend that runs a mortuary and he's going to ask him to help them. Burt goes to the morgue and asks his friend Ernie (Haha...Burt and Ernie!) for help. At first he tells him there are rabid weasels in the bag and they need to destroy them. But when Burt says he'll take them outside and shoot them Burt finally tells him what's actually in the bag. He shows Ernie the body parts and Ernie agrees to help him by burning the parts in the incinerator.

As the body is being burned the chemical gas is released into the air and then it starts to rain. Freddy's friends are in the graveyard when the rain starts and they run to their car yelling that the rain is burning their skin. As the rain soaks into the ground, it begins to bring corpses back to life. Tina goes to the medical warehouse to look for Freddy and she goes into the basement. One of the things from the cylinders attacks her yelling that it wants her brains. Her friends come and rescue her and they all leave the warehouse and run back into the graveyard. Trash gets attacked by zombies (Thankfully, I was tired of seeing that bitch naked) and the rest of her friends escape. Three of them manage to make it to the mortuary when Ernie calls 911 and asks for paramedics to come because there are two men that are poisoned.  

The EMT's show up and can't get a pulse or blood pressure Frank or Freddy. They say that their body temperature is 70 degrees and that it's not normal. The EMT's go to get stretchers when they are attacked by zombies. Freddy's friends make it to the mortuary and tell Burt that there are bodies all over the place and that they're killing people. They begin boarding up the mortuary to keep the zombies out. When questioned about what's wrong with Frank and Freddy, Burt finally admits that a chemical was released when Frank and Freddy were messing with the cylinders in the basement. He tells them that the chemical gas escaped and they both breathed it in and it's causing them to get sick.

Frank and Freddy complain of stiffness and pain and Ernie checks them and says that they are starting to exhibit signs of rigor mortis and that they are dying. Just then zombies break into the mortuary and kill one of Freddy's friends. Ernie grabs the zombie and straps it to a table in the embalming room. It starts talking and tells him that they want to eat their brains because it takes the pain of being dead away. They decide to lock Freddy and Frank in the chapel incase they turn into zombies. Tina insists on being locked in the room with Freddy. Shortly after they are locked in, Freddy turns into a zombie and tries to attack Tina. Ernie comes into the room and grabs her and they try and board the doors shut. Right before Frank turns into a zombie he puts himself in the incinerator to die.

Burt and Spider go outside and get in a cop car to try and get help. They end up at the warehouse and call the cops. The cops set up a barricade to try and stop whatever was happening but the zombies break through and start killing all of the cops. Back at the mortuary, only Ernie and Tina are left so they block themselves into the attic to keep from being killed. Burt finally realizes that no one is coming to help so he calls the number on the cylinders in the basement. He gets patched through to Colonel Glover and explains to him what's happening. Colonel Glover calls the General and tells him that they've found the cylinders in Louisville, KY but they have been opened. Burt is told that the Army had a plan in place to deal with the cylinders incase they were to be opened. The Army then lines up a missle and....

BOOOM!! What?? Idk, watch and see what happens dammit! Now, let's see what I thought shall we?? Ehh.. I gotta say, it's super cheesy. The acting is wayyyy over the top and the characters in the movie definitely look 80's! Too funny. I guess because I'm "new school" I'm not really used to seeing old stuff like that. That movie is older than me! I think overall I'd give it a 2.5 out of 5. I love zombies and everything, but this movie was one giant cheese doodle man! I know it was made in the 80's and everything, but yeesh! I will admit that the special effects were kinda cool. That zombie thing from they cylinder was creepy, except for the face. That made me laugh. It's eyes were all funny looking. Didn't really match the body, you know what I'm saying??

And the zombie skeleton writhing on the table bitching about wanting to eat brains was pretty cool too. I must say though, that red haired girl was kind of annoying. Not only was her acting bad, I was tired of seeing her naked. JEEZ! She was naked for practically the whole movie. I was tired of seeing her boobs, butt and vadge!! GROSS! There was a good amount of blood and brain matter, which was great and the zombies looked kinda creepy. It was all good except for that naked red haired bitch. For real! Now you know my thoughts, how about you go on and see what Zane is thinking?? Thanks for stopping by! We appreciate it mucho!

SASHA SLAUGHTER

I AM A POET AND I BET YOU DIDN'T KNOW IT! By: SASHA SLAUGHTER

Hey there!! Sasha Slaughter here with you wonderful creeps for the final time this week. I'm going to be doing something a bit different for your reading pleasure. As some of you may or may not know, my speciality is actually poetry. I'm not a published poet for nothing kiddies! So I figured why not show you what I do best! I wrote a few poems and I'll be posting them today! YAY!!! And as you can see, yes, Zane is at it again with his foul mouth and naked corpses. Always lowering our standards but I know you all LOVE it. He's good. Trust me! Ok, so it's poetry time!!

                                                                                

Dark Side



Burning, bleeding,

screaming, crying,

smelling the rotting flesh of those who are dying.

I didn't think I had it in me,

I didn't know it would go this far,

theres so much death around me,

and I don't care who they are.

I can't believe that it came to this,

that it got so out of hand,

the blood is flowing in rivers now,

soaking my feet where I stand.

I stare at the ensuing carnage,

with a wicked grin on my face,

I never want to leave this site of destruction,

I've never felt more in place.

I watch the deadly frenzy,

so content with what I seem to have done,

I lost the battle for sanity within myself,

it seems that my dark side has won.

 

Sharp Edge

If I told you I didn't think about it,

that would be a lie,

You ask me all of these questions,

demanding to know why.

I don't think I could explain it,

the thin red lines to vivid in my mind,

you're getting impatient with me,

I can see it in your eyes.

How can I explain it?

Making you know what I feel,

the twisted pleasure that I seek,

the things I don't want to be real.

How do I describe it?

from the tortured place in my mind,

as I hide the depths of my soul I pray you'll never find.

The sharp edge calls to me,

it's playing a sick little game,

I stopped a long time ago,

but how does it remember my name?

There is no light, only darkness.

They say that when you are close to death you see a light,

I've been there before and I know that they aren't right.

There was only darkness in my mind,

visions of what could have been,

memories I couldn't seem to find.

There was only darkness in that fluorescent lit room,

pain and sickness,

feelings of impending doom.

The blood was flowing freely,

dripping on the floor,

my thoughts were getting hazy,

as I didn't think I could bleed anymore.

I lie there in a stupor,

unable to move,

hoping I'd get another chance at this life,

because I had something to prove.

The blood was everywhere around me,

and I thought I had nothing more to give,

and then they told me it would be ok,

they said that I would live.

So there you have it. A bit morbid maybe, but thats what I do best. Hope you enjoyed them and if you're lucky someday soon I might write some more poetry for your reading pleasure. Thanks for stopping by Dead End Horror. Check back next week for all new stuff and quite possibly, even lower standards!

MORE FUN WITH A DEAD BODY BY: ZOMBIE ZANE

What’s happ’n captain’s! Coming at ya live and very much direct from the seven six one oh seven.  ‘Bout that time for me to get in your ear again, yes? Got some good shit lined up for ya this week though. We got gore, we got nudity, we got necrophilia.  We got a wacked-out bitch cutting off her clit with some scissors. And the piece de resistance...A fuckin’ boner that cums blood! Hell to the yeah! I know that last line may have sounded weird, but in my head it made perfect fuckin’ sense. Don’t worry. All the clit cutting and the blood cuming will be explained. Not in this article however, but cuming this week.  (Did you see what I did there? Cuming this week...rather than coming this week?) Again, that may have sounded better upstairs in my beer- riddled dome. So let’s cut out the foreplay and get to today’s post.

As you may or may not know, I’ve been posting one of my short stories over the last week.  If you haven’t been reading, fuck off out of here and read last weeks shit and THEN come back correct. Did that sound harsh? Sorry. Too much Chef Ramsey I guess. I love me some “Hells Kitchen!” Anyway, last week I posted parts one and two of my story, “Corpse Fucker.” And I figured to kick off this week, I’d post part three. So without further ado, let’s get to part three of “Corpse Fucker.”

Nanette’s visit to Dr. Currier’s office had been far from routine.  She had never been so humiliated.  It was bad enough going for a routine ‘Well Woman’ exam, but this, this far exceeded that.  The worst part was when they had to suck the mealy gray infection out of her.  The nurse actually had to leave the room during the process.  It was the smell.  Had to have been the smell. The good news was all of it was over.  Well, almost.  She still had to get her RX filled and apply it twice a day for two weeks until the infection cleared itself up. As soon as this was over, the better. Nanette had learned her lesson.  And learned it well.  

After a taxing morning with the exam and all, Nanette wanted nothing more than to relax and wash the sticky minutes off of her body.  She went to the bathroom and turned on the hot water.  She stripped off her clothes and threw them aside on the bathroom floor.  She was just about to immerse herself in the hot, soothing water when she heard a loud, a loud and rude knocking at her front door.

Max stood naked over his bathtub.  She was in the tub already.  She was waiting for him.  She always waited for him.  No matter what.  “I missed you baby.  I fucking missed you so much.  How’s my girl?” 

“Just a second,” Nanette called. Who could that be? All she wanted to do was take a shower and climb into bed.  And now someone was at the door. “Goddamn,” Nanette said through clinched teeth.

“Room for one more?”  Max asked.  “Oh now don’t look at me that way.  You know that I love you.  I told you I was sorry.  It won’t happen again. I swear.”  Max ran the tip of his tongue across his top lip.  He wanted her.  Wanted her so fucking bad.  He took his index finger and rubbed the pre cum across the head of his cock.  Julie Nash just stared up at him through her glassy, unseeing eyes....      

And OH SHIT! That’s where the party ends for today my friend.(s.) Ya gotta check back to see what’s what. We’ll just have to leave Nanette and Max alone for now. Wonder what will happen? Ok, so that’s that and I am spent. Be sure and check out Sasha’s stuff too. She’s wearing a tee shirt with no bra. I know I’m on my way there now. So check her out.  Until tomorrow, take care, stay a-scared, and I am out!            

ZOMBIE 'FATS' ZANE

                                                                                                                                                                                                    

                                                                                                                                          

SHE WAS A TOTAL DEAD FUCK By: ZOMBIE 'FATS' ZANE

HEY NOW! Coming to ya live and direct from the motherfuckin’ seven six one oh seven. Also known as the hottest place in the world. Summer is still whopping our ass’ here in the oh seven but your buddy Zombie Zane sits cool in the fan. Cool in the fan y’all. So this week at Dead End Horror, we’re just gonna be kinda doing random things. No real theme. Just a hodgepodge of horror. Ya dig?

So, since this is mixed bag of horror week, I thought I’d post something other than a movie review. (And yes, I can write other shit. Contrary to popular belief.) So about a year ago I wrote a short story just for shits and giggles. I’ve written many of the last few years but this one is one of my favorites. So instead of a movie review, or a top ten list, I thought I’d share with you the first part of my story. I may break it into like three parts and post one part each week for the rest of this month. Or I may do it all this week. Not sure yet. But when I decide, you cats will be the first to know. So, how about we cut out the foreplay, and get to my story, yes? It’s called ‘Corpse Fucker.’ Great title, yes? Enjoy part one.
　

　
CORPSE FUCKER
By: Zombie Zane
　
PART ONE

Ali’S Bar and Grill was unusually crowded for a Tuesday night. In fact, it was a regular beehive of activity. Then again, Ali was tending bar and her margs were legendary. Everyone on the west side of Fort Worth new of Ali and her margs. She didn’t normally tend the bar anymore, not since her brother Dillon had bought the place and named it after her. She was actually the manager but sometimes she would jump back behind the bar just for kicks. And she was a great bartender.

"Heya Nanette! How are you? Want your usual?" Ali said as she quickly swabbed the counter with a white dish towel.

Nanette was just about to request her usual drink when an idea struck her. Why not order something different? Why not be impulsive for once in her life? What’s the worst that could happen?

"I’ll have a Colorado bulldog tonight, Ali."

"Colorado bulldog? Are we feeling audacious this evening?"

"Audacious? Really, Ali? Audacious?"

"Don’t hate. I’m just putting my word o’ the day calender that Jason bought me to good use. Audacious was today’s word. It means..."

"Drink, Ali. Think drink."

"Okay, okay, I’m going. I’ll give it a little lagniappe for ya."

Nanette smiled as she watched Ali playfully skip away. Her ponytail bouncing rhythmically behind her.

"Excuse me? Is this seat taken?"

The voice startled her. She turned toward it and there next to her stood the most gorgeous, no, not gorgeous but the most pulchritudinous man she’d ever seen. Pulchritudinous. She wondered if that word was in Ali’s word of the day calender. The word meant beauty. She had learned that a few weeks back while watching the spelling bee on ESPN. Funny how at certain times the most random things seen to pop into your head.
Before she could respond, the man had taken the seat next to her. And God did he smell good. How could she even be thinking about this sweet smelling adonis when just hours ago the only man she had ever loved had just walked out on her. But there was something...something about this guy. It was like her mind was instantly surrounded by a cloud. It was if he were taking over, taking control of her. Taking control of her thoughts if that were even possible. She hardly noticed that Ali had slid a coaster and a drink in front of her. Ali had said something as well but she didn’t hear what it was. Her words seemed to vanish into a paroxysm of unintelligibility’s

"I’m Max," said the beautiful stranger as he took Nanette’s hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"Nanette," she replied. She cursed the small waiver in her voice.

"Nanette, that’s a great name. I would love to spray your kitty with some of my thick, white, graffiti."
Her mind was in a heavy, peaceful malaise. What did he say? She really couldn’t remember. She simply smiled and nodded her head.

"So, Nanette, how long have you lived in the city?"

"Lived here all my life. Born and raised." Did she say that out loud? She wasn’t sure. She wasn’t sure of anything anymore. Her mind was still cloudy, or diluted, or something. She felt like she was outside of her body and her immediate surroundings were just images of the things they really were.

And his voice. His voice was like the singing of children, so sweet and so innocent. It made her want to cry.
She felt strange. Something deep down in her subconscious was screaming at her to run, run right home and away from him. But she just couldn’t seem to communicate it to the rest of her physical being. She was powerless. But it felt good. Oddly enough it felt good.

"I’m from Houston. The Bay Cliff area. I moved here about a month ago to finish up my residency at J.P. Smith. And I gotta say, I bet you have an amazingly tight ass hole."

The fog in her mind thickened and once again she wasn’t sure what he’d just said. So, like before, she just smiled and nodded her head not really registering what was going on.

"I’ve yet to see all of the metroplex and I would really enjoy seeing it with you." Max said. "You could be my tour guide and tell me all about the sites and landmarks and I’ll be thinking about how many times I can fuck your dead body before it starts to rot and stink."

Again Nanette’s mind clouded over. She tried the best she could but no matter how hard she pressed, she just couldn’t get what Max was saying. It was very dreamlike. Surreal.

"So, how is it a beautiful girl like you is sitting here, alone at the bar?" Max met her gaze and held it with his infectious blue eyes.

"Long story. And I don’t really wanna talk about it."

"Say no more. Tell you what, how about we get out of here and let me take your mind of all your worries and whatnot. I’m a professional. Shall we?"

Max rose from his bar stool and took Nanette’s hand. Still under his spell or whatever it was, Nanette followed him out the door and into the hot, humid Texas night.

It was the next morning. The morning after the night of the best sex she’d ever had. She had never came so hard and so much in her life. She couldn’t wait to call Tasha. Tash was going to plotz. Especially when she hears about how Max can’t have an orgasm like a normal guy. It took two well lubricated fingers up his ass and a cheese grater to get him off. She had never incorporated a cheese grater into her sex life before, but then again, all things aside, she had never had sex like that before either. Oh well, it seemed harmless enough. So what if Max was a little kinky in the bedroom. No harm no foul.

Just thinking of the previous night sent tiny volts of electricity down there. Down there to her intimate area. That was just what the doctor ordered. Mark? Mark who? She did feel a bit dirty and kind of whore-ish, but completely and utterly satisfied. The way she rationalized her one night of fun was simple. She just viewed her night of debauchery kind of like a REDBOX rental. One night and a dollar. Except it didn’t cost her a dollar. Nope, it cost her more. Much more.
　
Anyway, there it is. That was part one. Hope you guys enjoyed it. I decided to break it this story up into two parts rather than three. I’ll post the second part at the end of the week. Or maybe tomorrow. You’ll just have to keep coming back to see when. Be sure and check out Sasha’s stuff as well. Her nah-nah is always showing. So until next time, take care, stay a-scared, and I am out!                                                                                          

ZOMBIE ZANE

                                                                                                                                               
　
　                        

SO MUCH WOOL YOU COULD KNIT A SWEATER! BY: ZOMBIE ZANE

Heya Dead End Horror fans that chew with your mouth open in front of a mirror. What's good? So, this post is gonna be a repeat. Why? Cause I'm fucking lazy that's why. Whatever. No, for real, what you're about to read is the first post ever at Dead End Horror. This is the post that started the whole thing. I wrote this motherfucker like, idk, many months ago. I just thought it would be cool to add some photos and shit to it. 

Like when we started posting, we weren't adding jack shit. Just words. Not that that's a bad thing, I mean whatever. We were new. What did we know? Anyway, here's the first ever post we ever did. It was fun going back and reading this...We've come along way. So no more foreplay, here is my take on the movie, "Return Of The Living Dead Girls."
 
I was bored like wood and I couldn’t find a damn thing to watch. None of my DVD’s or any of my DVR shit sounded good. Ya know what I’m talking about, we’ve all been there. Anyway, I got to looking at Netflix instant watch and came across this movie that kinda looked interesting so I decided to give it watch. Ever seen the movie, ‘Revenge of the Living Dead Girls?’ No? I’ll tell ya about it.

‘Revenge of the Living Dead Girls’ is a French horror film that was released in September of 1987. It was written by John King (that don’t sound French) and directed by Pierre B. Reinhard. (Now that sounds French fo’sho’) The cast is made up of a bunch of people with French names that I can’t pronounce or even spell for that matter. So, let’s just pretend that I did and move along to the plot.

This film is about three young girls that die from drinking poisoned milk and then come back as zombies because some company decides to dump toxic shit into the graveyard. That’s what I got from this movie anyway. The plot was so convoluted and full of holes, I never really got a clear cut idea on what the fuck was really going on. But I think that’s the gist of it. And if it isn’t...eh, doesn’t matter anyway. This thing was a total shit bomb and the retarded plot is the least of this films worries.

I absolutely hated this movie! Hated with a capital "H" There’s so much wrong with this movie, I don’t know where to start. This film couldn’t decide if it wanted to be a soft core porn or a horror movie. It was like a fuckin’ identity crisis. And don’t get me wrong, sex and horror together are like beer and pizza, cocaine and waffles, or whatever, but ‘Revenge of the Living Dead Girls’ I don’t know, the mixture was...was...just off.

As I said, the plot was not this films only problem. The gore scenes were weak. Really weak. I’ve seen better shit on made for TV movies. And the zombie girls, not scary. Not scary at all. Their faces were like cheap ass Halloween masks but their bodies were normal. No signs of decay or anything. Why the hell did just their face change? The acting was horrible, I’ve seen better acting in a Cinemax porn. 

And the English dub overs...WOW! It was worse than those Godzilla movies from the 50's. I could go on and on but I’m gonna stop there. By now you get the point. ‘Revenge of the Living Dead Girls’ was a total fucking flop. I’m not sure what this movie was trying to be, but whatever it was, it failed. I would not recommend this movie. Unless you want to see a bunch of nudity, piss poor acting, and don’t mind wasting 73 minutes of your life.

Well, enough about this turd, let’s get to the Numbers:

BODY COUNT - 7 (7 people, not a huge number for a zombie film)

SEVERINGS - 0 ( Gracias por nada)

DECAPITATIONS - 0 (Another goose egg)

SEX SCENES - 4 (Four fuck scenes in a 70 min movie, not bad...)

NUDITY NUMBER - 10 (Tons of it. Boobs, bush, butt, the naked trifecta! There was so much wool you could’ve knit a sweater!!)

OTHER SHIT - I’ve only got three things here, so here goes: Ya got a zombie ramming a sword into another woman’s cock pit, ya got the zombies bitting off a guys purple headed yogurt slinger, and last but not least, ya got a baby’s head coming out of some girls vag. And they show it. Up close and personal! And oh yeah, ya got the zombie girls trying to rape a girl.

GORE SCORE: 2

MY SCORE: -1 (That’s right, a -1 out of 10.)

Well, there you have it, the first post ever. Wasn't that fun! Before you bolt, make sure and browse a bit. Find Sasha Slaughter and see what she's up to. I'm sure she's up to no good. 

Until next week, take care, stay a-scared, and I am out. Peace peace and bacon and sausage grease!