I AM AN ANARCHIST, AND I AM THE ANTICHRIST BY: ZOMBE ZANE

What’s poppin’ horror fans that stay up late night and worship the devil. It’s me, Zombie Zane coming to ya live and direct from the seven six one oh seven. I guess it’s about that time once again for you and me to talk some horror. And let me tell ya, I got some good shit for today’s post. I’ll be reviewing one of the most artistic, bizarre, shocking movie that I’ve seen. This movie had some really disturbing scenes. Don’t worry, I’ll post some images from the film so you can see some shit too. So, let’s cut out the foreplay and get to the good stuff.

On the docket today, is my take of the film, “Antichrist.”  It’s a 2009 horror film written and directed by Lars von Trier. It also stars Willem Dafoe and Charlotte Gainsbourg. It runs just about 103 minutes and is also available on Netflix’s instant watch. So after you read this, you may wanna hop on over there and see what this thing is about.  But I warn you, this film is not for the squeamish.

The plot basically breaks down like this...A couple who are in mourning over the loss of their young son, go off to their cabin in the woods where they hope to mend their relationship and recover from the emotional wounds that the death of their son caused them. (Was that a run-on sentence?) But instead of healing, a bunch of really, REALLY freaky deaky shit starts happening. And maybe freaky deaky is an understatement.

Ok, before I go on, ya gotta watch this. This is the opening scene. In my opinion, this is by far the best six minutes in the film. Even though you see a close-up of Dafoe’s dick, (which I could’ve done without) it’s still a very moving scene. (And it ain’t cause of the sex. I’m not that shallow...Well on second thought...) Ok, just watch this clip. It'll blow your mind.

Now, there were some deleted scenes, but there's enough there for you to dig why I said it's mind blowing. I mean omigod! That chick just came as her son died. Trippy!  And believe me, There's WAY more shocking shit in this film. Now before I go on, I wanna tell ya something. I'm gonna be showing some shocking scenes from this bad boy here in just a second. Now if you wanna see it for yourself without seeing the stills first, then piss off outta here. I don't wanna ruin it for ya. Now I saw the film before I saw these stills, but in hindsight, even if I had have seen the stills first, I still would've watched this motherfucker anyway.

Okay, what say we get to the clit cutting, the blood cuming, and the nakedness, yes? Now again, if you are squeamish, I'd fuck off upstairs. So are ya ready to be grossed out and disturbed? Me too! Let's take a peek. This still is from the clit cutting scene. What's not disturbing about a woman removing her own fun bits...

OUCH AND FUCK! Now that's one nasty fuckin' image, yes? Now ya believe me? Man, when I saw that for the first time, I blew a freakin fuse in my dome.

Now that you've seen the fun bit scene, wanna see Willam Dafoe cum blood? This is another scene that made me a bit weak-kneed. And believe me, I don't get squeamish. It takes a lot to freak me out. Like a hard on that spews blood rather than yogurt...Anyway, take a look at this...

EGADS! Now that just ain't right man. Told ya, this movie is full of freaky, disturbing images. You may need to watch like some Golden Girls after watching this film. Or maybe go to church...

So you've now seen like two of the most disturbing scenes from this film. And to wind it down, I'll throw in a few nude shots just for good measure. As you probably have deduced, this film is full of gore and nudity. Now understand, it's not gratuitous. Not in the least. It's an art film. I know in this post I've maybe given you the wrong idea, but it really is artistically done. Ok, no more art-fart talk. Here's the butt, boobs and bush...

Okay horror fans, that's all all. Before I go, Let me give you my ranking of this bad boy. I gave "Antichrist" a 2.75 out of a possible 5. It did shock me, and some of the images I may never forget, but I'm not a huge fan of the artsy-fartsy thing so that's why I didn't rank it higher. But you, you may dig the art stuff so ya know, don't take my word for it. Just watch it and see for yourself. I do highly suggest you see this though. This is fo sho' a must watch film. 

ZOMBIE ZANE

Well, that about wraps up today. Be sure and see what Sasha has going on as well. She always has something and you can bet that it's good. Plus she just loves when you come and look at her stuff. She's quite the little exhibitionist. Until next time, take care, stay a-scared and I am out!  

CORPSE WORMS! BY: ZOMBIE ZANE

YO! What’s good out there horror fans? It’s your good buddy Zombie Zane and yes, I am coming to ya live and direct from the motherfuckin seven six one oh seven. So I was gonna wait and post the last part of my short story on Friday. But why drag it out? In case you haven’t been following this blog, then hop off this post and read the first three parts. You can find them on last weeks posts and the third part you can find on the main page. Just do some exploring. You might stumble across some other shit that melts your butter. Or better yet, why not just back every day like Tuesday through Friday. ( We post 4 days a week) Besides, if you come and join us, we can have a threesome. Or a foursome. The more the merrier. We got enough good shit for everyone.

So, speaking of threesomes, how about we cut out the foreplay and get to today’s post. So let’s put away the toys and the KY(yes, I like it freaky!) And get to part four of, “Corpse Fucker.”

PART FOUR...

Nanette hurried down the hall toward her front door tying her robe in the process.  “Coming,” she said as she got closer to the door.  She looked out of the peephole and her heart instantly skipped a beat. Adrenaline pulsated through her body.  Which is a natural reaction when two policemen are standing on your front porch.  You just don’t see that coming.

Max climbed into the bathtub.  The bathtub held no water, just Julie Nash.  Her skin wasn’t looking as good as it was a few days ago.  It was more discolored and it had a few more open sores.  Last night Max had actually fucked one of those sores and had thoroughly enjoyed himself.  It had been a kind of a spur of the moment thing.  But that was last night.  She didn’t smell near as bad then.  Julie Nash was starting to reek.  He would have to dispose of her tomorrow.  Maybe even tonight.  Yeah, for sure tonight he thought as he rolled Julie over on her stomach.  But one more time for shits and giggles.  

                                                          

                                                                     

“Nanette Banks?”

“Yes?”

“I’m officer Tamblin and this is my partner officer Meeks.  Do you have a minute?”

“Umm...sure.  What can I do for you officer?”  Nanette’s mind began to race.  What could the Fort Worth P.D.  want with her?

Max looked down at Julie.  She had the perfect ass.  Even as a corpse her ass had held it’s round shape.  An onion booty.  Max was a sucker for girls with a big round ass.  He reached for the tube of KY jelly and squirted a generous amount of it in his left palm.

“Would you like to come in?”  Nanette asked the two officers.

“Well, Ms. Banks, this is a matter that we really need to sort out at the station.”  Officer Tamblin said.

“The station?”

“Yes ma’am.  When we get a call from a doctor regarding corpse worms the law states that we take the suspect in.  We got a call from a Dr. Currier.  I’m afraid you have some explaining to do Ms. Banks.”

                                                          THE END

YIKES!! That was rather nasty huh? Anyway, Maybe I didn’t do the best job of splitting this up, but whatever. I hope you did enjoy it though. Anyway, that’s all. I do have some more grizzly horror on tap for this week. I got a couple movie reviews that you will not wanna miss. And I know that the busty Sasha Slaughter has some stuff she’d like to share with you as well. Maybe she’ll give you a little something extra...

So on that note, until tomorrow, take care, stay a-scared and I am out!
                                                                                                                                        



                                                         

MORE FUN WITH A DEAD BODY BY: ZOMBIE ZANE

What’s happ’n captain’s! Coming at ya live and very much direct from the seven six one oh seven.  ‘Bout that time for me to get in your ear again, yes? Got some good shit lined up for ya this week though. We got gore, we got nudity, we got necrophilia.  We got a wacked-out bitch cutting off her clit with some scissors. And the piece de resistance...A fuckin’ boner that cums blood! Hell to the yeah! I know that last line may have sounded weird, but in my head it made perfect fuckin’ sense. Don’t worry. All the clit cutting and the blood cuming will be explained. Not in this article however, but cuming this week.  (Did you see what I did there? Cuming this week...rather than coming this week?) Again, that may have sounded better upstairs in my beer- riddled dome. So let’s cut out the foreplay and get to today’s post.

As you may or may not know, I’ve been posting one of my short stories over the last week.  If you haven’t been reading, fuck off out of here and read last weeks shit and THEN come back correct. Did that sound harsh? Sorry. Too much Chef Ramsey I guess. I love me some “Hells Kitchen!” Anyway, last week I posted parts one and two of my story, “Corpse Fucker.” And I figured to kick off this week, I’d post part three. So without further ado, let’s get to part three of “Corpse Fucker.”

Nanette’s visit to Dr. Currier’s office had been far from routine.  She had never been so humiliated.  It was bad enough going for a routine ‘Well Woman’ exam, but this, this far exceeded that.  The worst part was when they had to suck the mealy gray infection out of her.  The nurse actually had to leave the room during the process.  It was the smell.  Had to have been the smell. The good news was all of it was over.  Well, almost.  She still had to get her RX filled and apply it twice a day for two weeks until the infection cleared itself up. As soon as this was over, the better. Nanette had learned her lesson.  And learned it well.  

After a taxing morning with the exam and all, Nanette wanted nothing more than to relax and wash the sticky minutes off of her body.  She went to the bathroom and turned on the hot water.  She stripped off her clothes and threw them aside on the bathroom floor.  She was just about to immerse herself in the hot, soothing water when she heard a loud, a loud and rude knocking at her front door.

Max stood naked over his bathtub.  She was in the tub already.  She was waiting for him.  She always waited for him.  No matter what.  “I missed you baby.  I fucking missed you so much.  How’s my girl?” 

“Just a second,” Nanette called. Who could that be? All she wanted to do was take a shower and climb into bed.  And now someone was at the door. “Goddamn,” Nanette said through clinched teeth.

“Room for one more?”  Max asked.  “Oh now don’t look at me that way.  You know that I love you.  I told you I was sorry.  It won’t happen again. I swear.”  Max ran the tip of his tongue across his top lip.  He wanted her.  Wanted her so fucking bad.  He took his index finger and rubbed the pre cum across the head of his cock.  Julie Nash just stared up at him through her glassy, unseeing eyes....      

And OH SHIT! That’s where the party ends for today my friend.(s.) Ya gotta check back to see what’s what. We’ll just have to leave Nanette and Max alone for now. Wonder what will happen? Ok, so that’s that and I am spent. Be sure and check out Sasha’s stuff too. She’s wearing a tee shirt with no bra. I know I’m on my way there now. So check her out.  Until tomorrow, take care, stay a-scared, and I am out!            

ZOMBIE 'FATS' ZANE

                                                                                                                                                                                                    

                                                                                                                                          

HOORAY FOR BOOBIES!! By: ZOMBIE 'FAT BOY' ZANE

From "Countess Dracula"

SAY HEY WHATTA YA SAY! Coming back at ya live and direct from the seven six one oh seven it’s your ole’ pal Zombie Zane. What’s good? (Besides this blog and our awesome writing skills.) So I was gonna post the second half of my story today, but after careful consideration I decided to wait until tomorrow. But I do have something pretty good for ya. In fact, this post deals with two of my most favorite subjects. Horror and boobs. Yes. I said boobs. Don’t the two go hand in hand? (Pun intended) I mean you can’t have a good horror film without some gratuitous nudity can you?

Hell to the motherfuckin’ naw you can’t! Think about it. Think of all the classic nude/boob scenes in horror. There’s a ton of 'em. Remember PJ Soles in ‘Halloween?’ Or what about Jamie Lee Curtis in ‘Prom Night?’ You get where I’m going, yes? So how about we cut the foreplay and get to what I like to call, Horror's Best Chest's.  Catchy title huh?

First up we have the lovely Fiona Horsey. You may know her from, "Twisted Sisters," "The Chambermaid," and "Angst." She makes the list with a 3.5 out of 5 on the melon meter...

Next up we got "Open Water's" own Blanchard Ryan. Her lactoids land her a 3.5 on the melon meter...

Horror's next set of hot hooters belong to Matilda May. She was one of the space vampires in the film, "Lifeforce." I have to give this retro-hottie a 3.5 out of 5 on the melon meter...





Now this next pic, I have no idea who the girl in the photo is. All I know is she has a nice rack and the name of the film is, "Zombie Night." I give this unknown set of bra buddies a solid 4 out of 5 on the melon meter...

   

This wouldn't be a complete list without Rebecca Wood's (HA! WOOD!) Hot set of hottentots. She was in "Friday the 13th A New Begging" in case you were wondering...IT'S SHOWTIME!! 2.75 out of 5 on the melon meter...

  

How about this one? How about Nicole Bonin from the film, "Psychoward." Check out this nice set of LobLollies. A 4.75 out of 5 on the melon meter...

            

HOORAY FOR BOOBIES HUH? Ok, next up how about another set of kumquats from the smae movie, "Psychoworld." The melon meter says to give Eva Redpath a 3 out of 5.

                         

Ok, just a couple more. HA! Couple more! Get it! I hope so! This next pair belongs to Cinthia Moura. Otherwise known as the girl who played the 'deer woman' in the Masters of Horror episode, "The Deer Woman." Cinthia's corkers earn here a 4.25 out of 5 and a place on this list...

      












Well, it's been a fun trip. I hate to be the party pooper and all the boob-a-rific fun, but somebody has to. Before I go, I do have one more for ya. These are most (if not the most) famous pair of nippleloons in da' bussy. (that's code for in the business) Here we go! Registering a 5 out of 5 on the melon meter, the one, the only, The Mistress of the Dark, The Queen of the Macabre, ELVIRA!!...

And there it is. Some of horror's best chest's. Not a bad way to start the weekend, yes? Before I get outta here, be sure and check out Sasha's sweater puffs too. WAIT! did I say sweater puffs, I meant to say make sure and check out Sasha's stuff. No, not that stuff. Her articles you fuckin' perv. Haven't you seen enough yet?

Until next time, take care, stay a-scared and remember, WE are the BEST horror blog out there and I am out! Z-ya!

ZOMBIE 'FAT BOY' ZANE