But as far as today is concerned, I’m gonna be giving you my take on the movie, “Piranha 3D.” Have you seen this one yet? Fuck me! This thing is full of blood, boobs, and a shitload of cool fuckin’ actors. So, let’s stop the foreplay and get to today’s shit, yes?
“Piranha 3D” is a 2010 horror movie (and second remake) of the 1978 version. This one was directed by Alexandre Aja and was released in August of 2010. after you read this, you’re gonna wanna give this movie a look-see. Fuckin’ trust me. I’m a professional. You’ll fuckin’ love it.
Anyway, this move not only has a ton of gore and boobs, it also has a ton of cool fuckin actors in it. (Have I said fuck a lot?) Ving Rhames, Elisabeth Shue, Eli Roth, Richard Dreyfuss, Christopher Lloyd, and of course, Riley Steele. I mean this bastard is loaded! And by the way, if you don’t know who any of these actors are, fuck off outta here. I mean for real. Anywho, let’s got to the plot, yes?
THE PLOT: A whole shitload of man eating piranha are released form their underwater den after this earthquake splits open the bottom of Lake Havasu. Now all this is goes on during spring break. So what ya got now is a bunch of spring break people at a lake that’s loaded with these hungry little motherfuckers. Talk about a recipe for disaster right? And oh yeah, throw in a wet t-shirt contest hosted by Eli Roth, and you got some major fuckin’ carnage, boss.
Now this is kinda a spoof of ‘Jaws.’ Ya got a mutilated body found by the town’s sheriff. (Shue) Ya got the sheriff wanting to close the lake due to the piranha-eaten body. But she can’t. She can’t because the small town needs the revenue of the 20,000+ spring breakers who plan on spending the week there. See where I’m going with this? So, yeah, it’s like ‘Jaws,’ but it’s different. Fuckin’ Jaws’ is iconic and more serious. This is just a bloody, boob filled good time.
I gotta tell ya, I give this thing a solid 4.75 out of 5. I loved it! Fucking loved it! The cast, the music, the gore, the nekkidness. (and yes, I can spell the word nakedness) I just overall loved the hell out of this film. This is a must own for your horror collection. Seriously.
And by the way, I also heard that a sequel to this film is due out as well. “Piranha 3DD.” Now I hate fuckin’ sequels, but if the sequel is anything like this, I’m gonna be all about it. We’ll just have to wait and see. I’ll keep you posted. And I think That Gary Busey is supposed to be in it so that’ll give it some cool points.
Well, I guess that about does it here. Be sure and see what Sasha’s got going on. I think she’s talking about a vampire movie that she just watched so you’ll wanna go see what she’s got doing. So until tomorrow, take care, stay a-scared, and I am out! Peace peace and Piranha grease!
