CREATURE OF THE BLACK LAGOON By: SASHA SLAUGHTER

Alright alright!! Sasha Slaughter here for the third and final time this week to bring you another dose of old school horror. Today I'll be giving you a little review of the movie Creature of the Black Lagoon. So how about you sit on down enjoy my take on Creature of the Black Lagoon.

Creature of the Black Lagoon came in out in 1954 and was directed by Jack Arnold. Dr. Carl Maia is in the Amazon when he discovers the fossil of a hand in lime stone. He goes to a science institute to have the hand looked at and tries to determine what it came from. A group of scientists at the institute agree to go on an expedition with Dr. Maia to search for more fossils. Upon returning to his camp, Dr. Maia discovers that two of his men were attacked and killed. Soon after the scientists begin digging up the lime stone to retrieve fossils, only they dig for eight days and find nothing. One of the scientists suggests that maybe part of the lime stone had been in the water and thinks maybe they should search underwater for fossils. They all agree and take a boat to what the boat captain calls the Black Lagoon.

They dive in the lagoon to search for rocks to test when a creature appears and watches them. They come back from the dive to test the rocks while Kay, one of the scientists, goes for a swim in the lagoon. As shes swimming, the creature is fascinated by her and follows her and tries to grab her feet, she feels something and moves and the creatrure swims away. She swims back to the boat and after she gets on, something gets caught in the net but it tears through the net to escape. Some of the scientists go back into the water to try and find what got caught in the net. They see the creatrure and swim after it but it hides and when they turn around it swims the other way. Finally they catch up with it and shoot it with a harpoon. The creature swims away out of sight and men go back onto the boat.

The scientists are studying pictures they took underwater when they hear screaming and discover that the creature came aboard and took one of the crew memebers and went back into the water. Lucas, the captain of the boat, gives them a drug made from root to put in the water to try and paralyze the creature so they can capture it. At first it doesn't work so they decide to make the drug so it can sink and reach where the creature may be. Shortly after the creature attempts to climb onto the boat but is scared away by a lantern. Two of the scientists, Mark and David, go looking for the creature and find it's footprints on the beach. The creature walks up behind Kay and grabs her but collapses onto the ground because of the drug.

They take the creature back to the boat and put it underwater and secure it so it can't go anywhere. Most of the scientists go to run test on various things and that leaves Kay and Dr. Thompson to make sure the creature doesn't escape. Dr. Thompson and Kay are talking when they hear a loud noise and realize the creature escaped. It injures Dr. Thompson in an attempt to take Kay, but she throws a lantern at it and it dives into the water. Mark decides that they've had enough and says that it's time for them to leave. They almost reach the end of the lagoon but soon discover that there are tree branches blocking their way out. They realize that the creature put them there and is trying to stop them from leaving. After a few failed attempts to move the branches, David dives into the water to attach the cables to the branches so they can be moved.

While David is attaching cables Mark sees the creature and shoots it with the harpoon gun. The creature removes the harpoon and comes after David, ripping off his oxygen hose. The creature leaves and Mark takes David's lifeless body out of the water. They decide to drug the creature one more time to keep it away long enough so they can remove the branches. Mark drugs the creature and attaches the cables but he comes aboard to find the creature with Kay in his arms and it dives into the water. It takes her into a cavern and...

Well hey, if you really wanna know what happened I highly reccomend you watch it and see. This film really wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I really am a newbie to this kind of old school horror (Zane is schooling me...hardcore.) But I actually really liked the movie. Some of the dialogue was over the top (In a good way). The acting was good and I especially liked the underwater scenes, they were really cool. I think overall I'd give this a 3 out 5...I know right!! It kept me interested and waiting to see what would happen next. The creature was a little on the cheesy side, but it kind of had a little creep factor to it too. Obviously there was no butt or blood or anything, but I don't really think this movie needed it. Although, I do have to say that the men of the movie were really bad at fighting off the monster. All it had to do was put it's hands on them and they died..Ehh!! It truly is a cult classic though. And heres a little side note, Creature of the Black Lagoon will be remade in 2013!! What???

But there you have it, my take on The Creature of the Black Lagoon. Don't forget to check out Zombie Zanes stuff, as always, you'll be glad you did. And of course, check back next week for more stuff here at Dead End Horror. Toodles!!

ONE MORE THING BEFORE YA GET OUTTA HERE....

TOP TEN OLD SCHOOL HORROR CLASSICS by: Zombie Zane

Here we go, here we go, here we go, yo! Let’s do this motherfucker! Zombie Zane here once again. And once again I’m coming at ya live and direct from the fuckin seven six one oh seven. Otherwise known as the glass furnace. Man, is it hot. Summer is in full effect here y’all. And it ain’t leavin’ anytime soon. So since it’s so damn hot, why not kick on back for a bit and see what we got going on this week. I’m sure you’ll like it. If not, SUCK IT!

Ok, as I mentioned, this month is gonna be dedicated to old school horror. Now when I say old school, I mean shit from the 20's, 30's, 40's and 50's. Now don’t bitch and piss and moan. There’s some good shit to be seen. Classic stuff. Hence the purpose for this here article. After you read this, you will know the top ten old school horror movies of all time. Trust me, I’m a professional. So how about we stop with the foreplay and get to the good stuff, yes? One more thing, after you read this, be sure and check out Sasha Slaughter’s
bio on the great Bela Lugosi. That’s some shit you wanna look in to. Ok, without further ado, here’s my list:

ZOMBIE ZANE’S TOP TEN OLD SCHOOL HORROR MOVIE CLASSICS


10. Coming in at the 10 spot is the silent classic (yes, I said silent) ‘DR JEKYLL AND MR. HYDE.’ Now this is not to be confused with the other 1920 Hayden film. That one is only 40 minutes long. This one, too, came out in 1920 but it has John Barrymore in it. And it’s longer than 40 minutes. It’s based on Robert Louis Stevenson’s novella, (The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde) which, by the way, was a great remake with Tony Todd (Candyman) but that’s a whole other story. In any case, this classic tale of split personality has spawned cartoons and shitloads of remakes. But this is where it all began. Not wild about silent films, but I still enjoyed it (thanks to beer and some vodka shots) I give ‘DR. JEKYLL AND MR. HYDE’ a middle of the road 2.5 out of 5.

9. At the nine we have another silent film. (Quit your bitchin.’) This one stars Lon Chaney as Quasimodo. The hunchbacked bell ringer. Obviously I’m talking about Universal’s 1923 classic, ‘THE HUNCHBACK OF NOTRE DAME.’ This was Universal’s most successful silent film grossing about 3 million bucks. Now that’s a shitload of cash!! Who knew? Anyway, we all know the plot so I’ll spare you the details let’s just get to the ranking. I liked this film. Again, not a fan of silent movies but the ones on this list are for real worth it. I give ‘THE HUNCHBACK OF NOTRE DAME’ a solid 2.5 out of 5. Great make-up, great acting, and awesome set design.

8. How about we continue with the silent film trend and throw in 1925's ‘THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA’ which also features Lon Chaney. Ok, I know, enough of the silent films. But again, these are good movies. Without these, horror today would be so different. So give ‘em a chance, yes? Anyway, the plot is familiar to everyone so again I’ll skip it let me just say that this film is definitely worth a watch. Lon Chaney is a bad motherfucker. I give this Universal Studio gem a 3 out of 5.

7. At number seven I have (and no, it ain’t a silent film) another offering from Universal Studios. How about ‘CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON.’ I’ve mentioned this film in another article which you may or may not have read so if you haven’t shame on you. Read it after you read this one. This film is from 1954 and was the first film to be shot in 3D. Pretty cool huh? So grab your 3D glasses, get some popcorn and enjoy. I give this trend setting movie a nice 3 out of 5.

6. "IT’S ALIVE!! ALIVE!!" That’s right baby! Coming in at the six we have Mary Shelley’s classic ‘FRANKENSTEIN.’ This is also another Universal picture and was released in 1931. It stars Boris Karloff as the monster and was directed by James Whale. I reviewed this movie in my article, ‘Meet My Monster’ so if ya wanna know more about bop on over to the archives and give it a read. This is fo sho an old school classic and it gets a 4.25 out of 5 from me. Again, this film spawned sequels, and tons of remakes so you might wanna look into watching this one.

5. Halfway done. Hope you’re enjoying the list so far. For the five spot I am putting in 1941's ‘THE WOLF MAN.’ This film is full of star power! Ya got Lon Chaney Jr. as the werewolf, ya got Claude rains, and ya got Bela Lugosi. Need I say more. This was actually Universal’s second werewolf film. ‘Werewolf of London’ was the first and it was very successful. So with all that said, I give this iconic film a 4.5 out of 5. It’s a must watch when talking old school horror.

4. In 1931 one of the most duplicated ever horror films hit the big screen. I’m talking the classic horror film, ‘DRACULA.’ Produced by Universal and starring Bela Lugosi this vampire movie actually had people fainting from the horror on the screen. No shit. To this day, ‘DRACULA’ is preserved in the National Film Registry and as you know, this film started the whole vampire craze. So you Twatlight fans out there, can thank Universal Studio’s and Bram Stoker for introducing vampires to American audiences. ‘DRACULA’ gets a 4.75 out of 5. This is a MUST watch for horror fans.

3. Have you ever wanted to be invisible? I have. In 1933 Claude Rains got to do just that in H.G. Wells’ ‘THE INVISIBLE MAN.’ This film is an adaptation from Wells’ 1897 novel of the same name. This film was also directed by our buddy James Whale who, if you were paying attention, also directed ‘Frankenstein.’ This film also was preserved in the US Film Registry by the Library of Congress by saying this film is historically, culturally, and aesthetically significant. Neat huh? I give this sci-fi/horror film a 4.75 out of 5.

2. Jesus Christ this is taking for fucking ever! Who knew a top ten list was gonna be a career move. Ok, sorry. Not to be a bitch, but damn! My fingers are...You don’t wanna hear it. I understand. Let’s get back to the list. At the two spot I have the 1932 Universal produced ‘THE MUMMY.’ This iconic horror feature stars our man Boris Karloff and was directed by Karl Freund. Now this movie has spawned all kinds of sequels and shit. Most of them being not too bad. You remember all the Mummy movies with Brendan Fraser? Hell yeah, this ‘32 classic is the reason for it. I would have to say, Dracula movies excluded, that ‘The Mummy’ has created more sequels and prequels than any other old school horror film. ‘THE MUMMY’ gets a 4.75 out of 5.

1. Ok, now for the numero-uno film of old school horror. Now this film is not a Universal Studio production like the others on this list. Sorry to break the trend but...And yes, it’s another silent film. And if you don’t like well...SUCK IT! The final film in our list of ten is the 1922 German Expressionist film, ‘NOSFERATU.’ Directed by F.W. Murnau and starring Max Schreck as Count Orlok. This film is uber creepy! Now the music does tend to get on my nerves, but nevertheless this film is one bad motherfucker. Just the images alone are still, to this day, haunting. It is for sure a must see. I give ‘NOSFERATU’ a perfect 5 out of 5! When you talk classic vampire movies, this movie is always mentioned as one of the best if not best. So if you can procure a copy of it, get it and watch it.

Well, there it is. Zombie Zane’s top ten old school horror films. Be sure and check out Sasha’s stuff as well. She’s got some good shit on the slab that you will wanna read. As for me, I’m done here. So until next time, take care, stay a-scared and I am out.

SEVEN NIGHTS OF HOTTER THAN HELL HORROR by: Zombie Zane

HOT HOT AND MORE HOT! Zombie Zane here with you again coming live and direct from the glass furnace otherwise known as the motherfuckin’ seven six one oh seven. Seeing how summertime is upon us, I had a great idea for this week’s shit. What I’m gonna do is give you guys a list of seven horror films that have a heat/summer related theme. Why seven? Well, I just thought it’d be cool to give you a movie a night to watch. There are seven days in the week hence, seven movies. One a night. Neato mosquito! Ok, enough of this foreplay, let’s get to my horror-a-thon, yes?

ZOMBIE ZANE’S SEVEN NIGHTS OF HOT HORROR

For night numero-uno how about the film, "STAND BY ME." It’s a 1986 horror film adapted from Mr. Horror himself the great Stephen King. Not really a horror film, but it kicks ass and it’s my list and my rules. How could you not like Lard Ass? LARD ASS! LARD ASS! LARD ASS! The vomit scene is a classic! And the leeches on that kid’s ball sac is also a memorable scene. This film gets a solid 4.5 out of 5.

On night number two of this hotter than hell horrorfest, I highly recommend the film "LAKE PLACID." Nothing better than a huge croc running around eating people. And ya got sweet Betty White cussing out deputies. Not sure if this movie takes place in the summertime but it’s setting is by a lake (hence the title) so fuck yeah it makes the list. I mean isn’t the lake a popular summertime hangout? Anyway, this film is full of great one liners, good gory stuff and it’s just a downright fun watch. A solid 4 out of 5 on the Zombie scale.

This wouldn’t be a good list if I didn’t include this film for night number three so here goes. "FRIDAY THE 13^th." (1980) A classic summertime slasher flick. Nothing says summer like a trip out to Camp Crystal Lake, right? Written by Victor Miller and directed by Sean S. Cunningham, this film went on to spawn a dynasty and become one of the most profitable slasher films of all time. A 3 out of 5 for me.

Wanna go camping? Not me. Not after seeing the fourth movie of the week. I like my asshole just the way it is. Night number four, I give you "DELIVERANCE." ...."BEND OVER AND SQUEAL LIKE A PIG FOR ME!!" ..."YOU GOT PURTTY LIPS!!" This 1972 film is about four businessmen who decide to canoe down this river in the Georgia wilderness and come across some pretty fucked up inbreeds. As you can tell from the opening of this paragraph, some ass raping occurs and well...you just gotta see it. This film is a 3.5 out of 5 for me.

We’re now at film number five of Zombie Zane’s Seven Nights of Hot Horror and this film oozes heat! 1996's FROM DUSK TILL DAWN. Robert Rodriguez directed, Zombie Zane approved. What’s not hot about Salma Hayek table dancing with a huge snake? And for you ladies out there, ya get some George Clooney. A great film all the way around! After all it was written by Quentin Tarantino. One of the coolest vampire movies ever, this film gets a perfect 5.

Almost done. This next film, movie number six is an old school classic. And when I say old school, I mean like 1950's old school. Hey now, no bitching. Older is sometimes cooler. THE CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON (1954) This is one of the classic horror films from Universal (Studios) and was one of the first, if not the first film to be done in 3D. If you haven’t seen it, then check it out. It’s dated but it has nostalgia attached to it and it does star the lovely Julia Adams. So peep it out and think about a time long gone. This monster movie gets a 3 out of 5 for me.

So if you’re still reading this, we are now at film number seven. The last film on the list is the 1995 horror film, "ICE CREAM MAN." Written and directed by Paul Norman (who, btw, directs porns! So cool points there) Maybe not a well known film, but it does have quite a cult following and it has some pretty cool parts so it makes the cut. I give this slasher film a 2.5 out of 5. Middle of the road but if you haven’t seen it, it’s worth it.

Well, there it is. Zombie Zane’s Seven Nights of Hot Horror. Be sure and check out Sasha’s stuff, she’s got a review of episode one of the Masters of Horror series, and an article about the black eyed children phenomenon. It’s all good stuff so read it. Until next time, take care, stay a-scared and I am out.