HOT HOT AND MORE HOT! Zombie Zane here with you again coming live and direct from the glass furnace otherwise known as the motherfuckin’ seven six one oh seven. Seeing how summertime is upon us, I had a great idea for this week’s shit. What I’m gonna do is give you guys a list of seven horror films that have a heat/summer related theme. Why seven? Well, I just thought it’d be cool to give you a movie a night to watch. There are seven days in the week hence, seven movies. One a night. Neato mosquito! Ok, enough of this foreplay, let’s get to my horror-a-thon, yes? For night numero-uno how about the film, "STAND BY ME." It’s a 1986 horror film adapted from Mr. Horror himself the great Stephen King. Not really a horror film, but it kicks ass and it’s my list and my rules. How could you not like Lard Ass? LARD ASS! LARD ASS! LARD ASS! The vomit scene is a classic! And the leeches on that kid’s ball sac is also a memorable scene. This film gets a solid 4.5 out of 5.
On night number two of this hotter than hell horrorfest, I highly recommend the film "LAKE PLACID." Nothing better than a huge croc running around eating people. And ya got sweet Betty White cussing out deputies. Not sure if this movie takes place in the summertime but it’s setting is by a lake (hence the title) so fuck yeah it makes the list. I mean isn’t the lake a popular summertime hangout? Anyway, this film is full of great one liners, good gory stuff and it’s just a downright fun watch. A solid 4 out of 5 on the Zombie scale.
This wouldn’t be a good list if I didn’t include this film for night number three so here goes. "FRIDAY THE 13th." (1980) A classic summertime slasher flick. Nothing says summer like a trip out to Camp Crystal Lake, right? Written by Victor Miller and directed by Sean S. Cunningham, this film went on to spawn a dynasty and become one of the most profitable slasher films of all time. A 3 out of 5 for me.
Almost done. This next film, movie number six is an old school classic. And when I say old school, I mean like 1950's old school. Hey now, no bitching. Older is sometimes cooler. THE CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON (1954) This is one of the classic horror films from Universal (Studios) and was one of the first, if not the first film to be done in 3D. If you haven’t seen it, then check it out. It’s dated but it has nostalgia attached to it and it does star the lovely Julia Adams. So peep it out and think about a time long gone. This monster movie gets a 3 out of 5 for me.
So if you’re still reading this, we are now at film number seven. The last film on the list is the 1995 horror film, "ICE CREAM MAN." Written and directed by Paul Norman (who, btw, directs porns! So cool points there) Maybe not a well known film, but it does have quite a cult following and it has some pretty cool parts so it makes the cut. I give this slasher film a 2.5 out of 5. Middle of the road but if you haven’t seen it, it’s worth it.
Well, there it is. Zombie Zane’s Seven Nights of Hot Horror. Be sure and check out Sasha’s stuff, she’s got a review of episode one of the Masters of Horror series, and an article about the black eyed children phenomenon. It’s all good stuff so read it. Until next time, take care, stay a-scared and I am out.
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