PUT THAT IN YO SLIT BITCH!! By: Zombie Zane

AWWWW YEAAAAAH!! Zombie Zane back with you once again doing what I do from the seven six one oh seven. Hey, I liked that opening! Anyway, thanks for stopping by and checking out Dead End Horror, really appreciate it. So this week was kinda a mixed bag here at DEH, Sasha wrote an article about the black eyed children, and she’s also reviewing episode one of the Masters of Horror series so go by and check out her stuff. Me? Well, in this here article I’m a-gonna be talking to you about this movie I watched this past week. Ever seen the film ‘THE SLIT MOUTHED WOMAN?’ Is that a no? No problem. Take a sec and let me tell you about it.

"THE SLIT MOUTHED WOMAN" is a 2005 Asian-Invasion horror film directed by Takaaki Haschiguchi and produced by Mr. Myagi. (JK on the Myagi) It runs just over 60mins and is available now on Netflix instant watch. Now that you know some of the particulars, wanna hear about the plot?

Ok, so basically this film is kinda like a Grudge/Ring kinda deal. What I mean by that is it’s one of those angry ghost seeks revenge movies. Now don’t shit on it just yet. I know that plot line has been done ad nauseum, but give it shot. And yes, it’s also subtitled so ya gotta read. Again, don’t shit on it just yet. It’s not that bad a movie. The slit mouthed woman is uber creepy and there is a ton of fucking going on through out the film. And when I say plenty, I mean plenty. Almost too much. WHAT!! I know, how can there be too much fucking....My only complaint was that there was more ‘gettin it’ than actual horror. But it wasn’t gratuitous. All that Asian loving was relevant to the plot. I mean this movie started with a bang and ended with a bang. Literally. So if you like the whole angry ghost revenge thing, then give this one a look. Let me clarify something right fast however. There are two (two that I know of films) with this title. One is called, "CARVED: THE LEGEND OF THE SLIT MOUTHED WOMAN." That film is from 2007, this one that I’m tellin you about is from ‘05 and it’s a bit shorter. Just a quick side note in case you get cornfused. (And yes, I can spell confused. That was not a typo.) So let me break this down a little more for ya:

BODY COUNT: 1 just one here, but it’s implied that there’s more. But one was all I saw...

SEVERINGS : Nothing getting whacked here, a big fat 0.

SEX SCENES : 5!! A total of 5 fuck scenes. And they look pretty real too...

NUDITY NUMBER : 2 out of 5. Boobs, boobs and more boobs.

GORE SCORE: 0 Nada in the way of blood and guts. Kinda disappointing.

MY SCORE: 2 out of 5. Not quite middle of the road for me but still not a total waste. Points off for more sex than horror and points off ‘cause there was not gore and guts.
Well, there ya go. My take on "THE SLIT MOUTHED WOMAN." That’s all there is and there ain’t no more. Until next time, take care, stay a-scared and I am out.