I'MMA SNAKE!!! I'MMA SLITHERY LITTLE SNEAKY SNAKE!! Ohh hey there!! Umm...sorry bout that! I was having a moment..don't ask. This week at Dead End Horror we're doing a "Mixed bag O shit" (Sounds gross right? haha). It's basically just a bunch of awesome shit all crammed together with no specific theme...you'll love it!! I'll be reviewing Masters of Horror episode 7: Deer Woman. Deer Woman was directed by John Landis and runs about 57 minutes. Here we go!!!
Police detective Dwight Faraday discovers that several male murder victims who come into the morgue all have the same things in common...They all seem to have been trampled to death during a state of sexual arousal (BONER ALERT!!) and all of the bodies have hoof prints on them. He is called to the first incident when someone calls to report a possible dead body in a truck parked at a bar. Upon going into the cab of the truck he discovers that the body is almost unrecognizable. He questions one of the workers of the bar and he tells Faraday that the man that was killed was seen leaving with a beautiful Indian woman. He told him that she had yellow eyes that a deer in headlights would have.
While handling another case, Faraday realizes that there were trample marks starting from the groin (Owww) and went upward several times. He goes to the coroner to figure out how the man died. They talk for a few hours trying to figure out how a deer could possibly fit into the equation. Later that night at home Faraday tries running other scenarios about the death of trucker and he comes up with nothing (The deer in the flannel shirt and jeans scenario was funny as hell!). Faraday takes Detective Reed to the morgue the following day to see a new body that had the same trample marks as the first. There was deer hair on the body along with hoof prints. They realize that all of the witnesses described a beautfiul Indian woman being seen with the men shortly before they died.
While Faraday and Reed were in the morgue another body was wheeled in. They are told that the body just arrived and is in the same state as the previous two. They go to the investigate the crime scene where the third body was found and discover bloody hoof prints on the roof where the murder took place. Faraday believes that it's an animal killing people, possibly a deer. He talks to the coroner and she tells him that she found deer DNA on the third body. While at a casino Reed and Faraday are overheard by one of the employees talking about the case. Faraday suggests that it's an Indian woman that is luring men into seculded places and then turning into a deer and killing them. The employee tells them that that is part of an Indian folklore and that it probably isn't true.
Reed asks Faraday to go to the casino with him and he declines. While at the casino Reed meets a beautiful Indian woman and takes her back to his place. Faraday calls and he begins to talk about the folklore when Reed tells him he met a woman. Faraday pauses and asks if Reed has seen her feet. Reed gets quiet and tells Faraday that he's an idiot and to send back up. When Faraday reaches Reed's apartment he finds him dead, trampled to death. He sees the deer woman in the apartment and shoots her. She stays down for only a moment and then kicks Faraday and runs. He chases her down in his police cruiser and eventually catches up to her in the middle of the road. She is standing infront of a tree when he steps on the gas and...
Oooh what happens??? Go ahead and give Deer Woman a watch and find out. I personally wasn't very impressed. I was mildly amused by the scene of the deer in the flannel shirt and jeans but other than that, Ehh.. I was kind of bored actually. There were some body parts, a bit of blood, and two boob shots..ehh, nothing special. They didn't show the actual killings, which kind of sucked. Murder scenes are a must!! And you know what else??? The deer woman was a total prick tease! For real! She'd give her victims a raging hard on and the off the poor bastards!! Finish what you start deer woman! :D Overall I'd give Deer Woman a 2 out of 5. I gotta say, I was glad when it was over. That was 57 minutes of my life I'll never get back!! Boo!! And hey, while your eyes are being pleasured by my writing, you should check out Zombie Zanes stuff too! He'll show it to anyone and everyone. =)
Police detective Dwight Faraday discovers that several male murder victims who come into the morgue all have the same things in common...They all seem to have been trampled to death during a state of sexual arousal (BONER ALERT!!) and all of the bodies have hoof prints on them. He is called to the first incident when someone calls to report a possible dead body in a truck parked at a bar. Upon going into the cab of the truck he discovers that the body is almost unrecognizable. He questions one of the workers of the bar and he tells Faraday that the man that was killed was seen leaving with a beautiful Indian woman. He told him that she had yellow eyes that a deer in headlights would have.
While handling another case, Faraday realizes that there were trample marks starting from the groin (Owww) and went upward several times. He goes to the coroner to figure out how the man died. They talk for a few hours trying to figure out how a deer could possibly fit into the equation. Later that night at home Faraday tries running other scenarios about the death of trucker and he comes up with nothing (The deer in the flannel shirt and jeans scenario was funny as hell!). Faraday takes Detective Reed to the morgue the following day to see a new body that had the same trample marks as the first. There was deer hair on the body along with hoof prints. They realize that all of the witnesses described a beautfiul Indian woman being seen with the men shortly before they died.
While Faraday and Reed were in the morgue another body was wheeled in. They are told that the body just arrived and is in the same state as the previous two. They go to the investigate the crime scene where the third body was found and discover bloody hoof prints on the roof where the murder took place. Faraday believes that it's an animal killing people, possibly a deer. He talks to the coroner and she tells him that she found deer DNA on the third body. While at a casino Reed and Faraday are overheard by one of the employees talking about the case. Faraday suggests that it's an Indian woman that is luring men into seculded places and then turning into a deer and killing them. The employee tells them that that is part of an Indian folklore and that it probably isn't true.
Reed asks Faraday to go to the casino with him and he declines. While at the casino Reed meets a beautiful Indian woman and takes her back to his place. Faraday calls and he begins to talk about the folklore when Reed tells him he met a woman. Faraday pauses and asks if Reed has seen her feet. Reed gets quiet and tells Faraday that he's an idiot and to send back up. When Faraday reaches Reed's apartment he finds him dead, trampled to death. He sees the deer woman in the apartment and shoots her. She stays down for only a moment and then kicks Faraday and runs. He chases her down in his police cruiser and eventually catches up to her in the middle of the road. She is standing infront of a tree when he steps on the gas and...
Oooh what happens??? Go ahead and give Deer Woman a watch and find out. I personally wasn't very impressed. I was mildly amused by the scene of the deer in the flannel shirt and jeans but other than that, Ehh.. I was kind of bored actually. There were some body parts, a bit of blood, and two boob shots..ehh, nothing special. They didn't show the actual killings, which kind of sucked. Murder scenes are a must!! And you know what else??? The deer woman was a total prick tease! For real! She'd give her victims a raging hard on and the off the poor bastards!! Finish what you start deer woman! :D Overall I'd give Deer Woman a 2 out of 5. I gotta say, I was glad when it was over. That was 57 minutes of my life I'll never get back!! Boo!! And hey, while your eyes are being pleasured by my writing, you should check out Zombie Zanes stuff too! He'll show it to anyone and everyone. =)
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| Sasha Slaughter |
HERE'S A LIL SOMETHING TO WATCH BEFORE YA GO...The Trailer!
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