BEWARE THE FAIR HAIRED CHILD By: SASHA SLAUGHTER

Hey hey hey!! Sasha Slaughter here with you for another mind blowing week of pure talent and awesomeness...can you handle it?? =) This is the last week of random hodgepodge stuff (Boo! After this Zane gets to boss me!) and I'll be reviewing Masters of Horror episode 9: The Fair Haired Child. It was written by Mick Garris and directed by William Malone (Who happened to direct Feardotcom and House on Haunted Hill).

Young loner Tara is on her way home from a day of being tortured at school when she notices a van following her. While riding her bike through the woods she feels like someone is following her and just then a van runs into her. A man (Anton) emerges from the van, drugs Tara and tosses her in the back. Tara wakes up hours later, her mind hazy and a little confused. She sees a woman (Judith) sitting in the room with her. The woman says that she is a nurse and that Tara was found on the side of the road drugged. She then tells her that she is in Vermont and Tara starts freaking out and telling her that she's from Connecticut and doesn't understand what she's doing there.

Tara tells her she needs to call her mom and the woman says it's OK. Tara reaches her mom but her mom is too wasted to help. When Tara realizes the woman calling her by her name without telling her what it was, she freaks out and tries to leave. She yells out the window for help and notices she isn't in a hospital, but she's in someones home. The man from the van runs into Tara and grabs and he and his wife throw her into the basement. Tara hears noises in the basement and sees a teenage boy trying to hang himself. Tara helps him and gets the rope off of his neck. She quickly understands that he can't speak so he writes her messages in the dust of the basement floor. They begin looking for a way out when they see the words "Get out before it wakes up" scratched into a cabinet.                   

They then see a door with the words "Beware the fair haired child" carved into it. They open door and find a room full of backpacks from other children who had been kidnapped, a bathtub stained with blood and a cabinet full of skulls. Meanwhile, Judith and Anton are outside digging up a grave and taking body parts from a bag and putting them into a barrel of acid. (Idk how that's relevant to the story...whatever!) They are both having flashbacks of the drowning death of their fifteen year old son and the ritual they performed to have him brought back to life.

Back in the basement Johnny starts spazzing and writes "It's coming" in the dust on floor and then collapses. Tara screams that they killed him when his body starts convulsing and this creepy looking thing crawls out of Johnny's body. It begins chasing Tara and eventually finds her hiding in a furnace. She narrowly escapes the thing and gets away from it before it can harm her. Judith hears the commotion in the basement and says "Do what you have to do....so you can come back to me". Johnny wakes up and tries giving clues to Tara so she can figure out whats going on. She figures out that Johnny is actually Judith and Anton's son Jonathan and that they are trying to bring him back to life. He helps her figure out that they made a deal with a demon to kill twelve children every year on his birthday. He reveals to her that she is the last child they need to kill in order for him to come back to life.  

He writes "Please forgive me" on the wall in chalk when the room goes black and the screaming starts. Jonathan turns into the creepy thing and starts eating Tara's insides. His parents go down into the basement and find Jonathan all bloody with a note written by Tara in her own blood reading "I forgive you Johnny". They realize that he's OK and back to normal. Later that night he is sitting alone quietly when his parents ask him what he's doing. He replies that he is waiting for something. He gets up and tells them that he was always jealous of their musical abilities and that he realized he has a talent of his own. The talent for bargaining. His mother begins to ask him what he's done and then....

What exactly did little Johnny bargain for?? Guess you'll have to watch Fair Haired Child and see for yourself. Now onto what I thought!! Ya know, I actually kinda liked it! The plot was really good and so was the acting. There wasn't a whole lot of violence or anything, but it got the point across without needing any of that. There was a bit of blood but none of the three B's (Sorry pervs!!!). Overall I'd give Fair Haired Child a 3 out of a possible 5. I KNOW!! I enjoyed watching it and the ending surprised the hell outta me! And that little creepy thing crawling outta Johnny with it's jerky movements and it's glowing night vision eyes....YOWZA!! That was creepy with a capital C ya'll!!! It gave me the wiggins for sure! So, that's all you need to hear from me. Don't forget to check out what Zane's got in store for the last week of random stuff month. I'm almost certain it just might contain some nudity...or more corpses...who knows! So stop by and see!!

SASHA SLAUGHTER

                                                                                                                                    









                                                      

DON'T FORGET TO SIGN YOUR CONTRACT TO START A BABY MILL!!! By: SASHA SLAUGHTER

It's really wet in this bitch!!! I'm talking about the rain you perverts!!! =) Hiii!! Sasha Slaughter here with you on this stormy grey day in PA (Hey that rhymed!). It's still random stuff hodgepodge mixed bag O shit month (And no Zane, you aren't changing it!) so in keeping with the theme I'll be reviewing the third episode of Fear Itself, it's titled "Community". Before I begin I'd just like to say that last week our standards were severely lowered due to Zanes "Horrors Best Chests" article. Ughh!!! Typical man...am I right?? So anyway, let's get to it!!!

Young couple Bobby and Tracy are living in a small, cramped apartment in a not so desirable part of town. Tracy is desperate to start a family and wants to get pregnant right away, but she refuses to raise a family in their current home. So they set out to find the perfect home to start a family in. Two close friends of theirs, married couple Scott and Merrill tell them about a place called The Commons. They tell Tracy and Bobby that it's a really exclusive place and when they told the realtor that they didn't plan on having anymore children they refused to give them a house. So Bobby and Tracy decided to go to The Commons and look at a house anyway.

They drive to a gate in a high class suburban neighborhood and are pleasantly surprised by how beautiful it is, although Bobby is skeptical. They are given a tour of the house by Candice, one of the more prominent members of The Commons. Tracy falls in love with the house instantly and is positive that this is where she wants to start a family. Bobby notices that all of the furniture from the previous owner is still in the home and Candice tells him the owner had to leave because of business. Bobby think it's a bit odd, but because Tracy wants the house, he ignores it. Two days later they get a call from Candice telling them that their application was accepted and they got the house. They go to sign papers and Candice tells them that are exactly the type of people they want in their community, which makes Bobby a bit uncomfortable.

They are greeted by a mob of seemingly perfect neighbors when they arrive to move in. Bobby is overwhelmed and has a strange feeling about the neighborhood but dismisses it. Months go by and strange things keep happening, but Tracy seems oblivious. Late one night while flipping through TV channels he comes across security tape of their neighbor undressing getting ready to cheat on her husband when her husband walks in and catches her. He recognizes the neighbor on the TV screen as their next door neighbors Ron and Sandra. Tracy tells him the follwing day that he was signed up for a community supprt meeting. He shows up only to see Ron and Sandra getting lectured because of Sandra's actions.

Candice tells her that her actions affect the whole community and it's up to Ron to decide her punishment for infidelity. The next day while Bobby is out shopping he sees Sanda tied to a post with a pig mask on having trash thrown at her while the townspeople call her names. She tells him that this was the punishment chosen and she accepts it. He takes the mask off of her and tells her she doesn't have to deal with this and everyone tells him to stay out of it. Later that night Candice arrives and tells Tracy and Bobby that she is concered that they haven't conceived yet. She said that if they read their contract correctly it states that if a child is not conceived within 6 months of moving in the house will be foreclosed on and they will be forced to leave The Commons (Really? Signing a contract to breed and open your very own baby mill?? Count me out).

Bobby asks his friend Scott to find the previous owner and talk to them to find out how they got out of the contract. Bobby tells him all of the strange rules and stipulations and about the security cameras in everyones house that show up on the TV. Scott calls back to tell him that there is no trace of the previous owner, and seems like he disappeared. He tells Bobby he needs to get Tracy and get out of there. He finds Tracy in the kitchen and she announces that she is pregnant and Bobby is devastated because now that she is pregnant they are being forced to stay in The Commons.

They go to the doctor the following day and see Sandra running around in the street yelling that someone is after her and then she gets hit by a car. No one seems concerned, saying that she jumped infront of the car because she was drunk and suicidal, which Bobby didn't believe. This scared Tracy so they came up with a plan to get out of The Commons. Tracy was with some friends when she pretended to faint and said she needed to go home and rest because of the baby. They snuck family friend Merrill into the house and snuck Tracy out. Merrill was disguised in a wig so she looked like Tracy on the security cameras in the bedroom. After a few days of not seeing Tracy everyone started getting suspicious. Candice showed up and saw Merrill and demanded to know where Tracy was. She tells Bobby that if he doesn't tell her where she is something unfortunate will happen to his friends and family.

They are questioning Bobby and he isn't cooperating so they drug him and he wakes up a few hours later on a couch. Phil, the neurotic neighbor from next door, comes over to make sure Bobby is ok and is staying in The Commons. Just then Phil pulls out a pair of scissors and tells Bobby that this is for him and then proceeds to stab Candice in the neck with the scissors. Bobby wakes up and runs into the woods to escape. The whole neighborhood comes outside with flashlights, shovels, and dogs to look for him. He runs up a hill and finds Scott and Tracy in a car waiting for him. Tracy gets out of the car and tells him that she is doing this for him and Scott says they are going to be neighbors now and then the townspeople come out of the woods and..                       

Ughhh! Somebody please check my pulse and make sure I'm still alive....I swear I may have died a little from complete and utter boredom!! BOO to this episode!!! I am totally disappointed. This episode sucked and the person that wrote it sucks. I was incredibly bored and could not wait for this shit to be over. That was 43 minutes of my life I'll never get back. Overall I'd give it a 1 out of 5. Yeahh! There was no blood (except for a few drops when the blonde bitch got stabbed), no gore, no nekkidness (No boobs, butt, or bush), no swearing...no nothing at all.I mean, horror stuff doesn't necessarily have to have all of those things to be good, but sweet Jesus put some blood and guts in there please!! It was a total snooze fest and I am so glad I never have to watch it again! Ok, so thats that. Since you're here wasting time, how about you waste some time and read Zanes stuff too!! He likes it when you look at his stuff. Trust me. =)

SASHA SLAUGHTER

                                                                                                                        


















                                                                

SMOKE 'EM IF YOU GOTTA 'EM! BY: SASHA 'BB' SLAUGHTER

SMOKE IT!

DAMN! Is it nap time yet??? OK, I'll quit with the bitching and get down to business. Sasha Slaughter here with you for the final time this week, and I'm here to bring you more randomness! YAY!. And since we're still doing mixed bag O shit or hodgepodge stuff, whatever you wanna call it, I'll be reivewing MOH episode 8: Cigarette Burns. It came out in 2006 and was directed by John Carpenter. Let's get to it!

Movie theatre owner Kirby Sweetman is hired by an eccentric millionaire with a love for films, to hunt down the only known print of a film that has been said to have been destroyed. The film was so notorious that it's single screening caused the viewers to turn become homicidally insane during a film festival. The millionaire, Bellinger, invites Sweetman to his home to ask him to find the film Le Fin du Absolue Monde (The Absolute End of the World). He then takes Sweetman into a dark room and tells him that he collects more than just films. Sweetman then sees a person *a chalky, white, creepy person that is* chained up in the room. Bellinger tells him that he was one of the stars of Le Fin Absolue du Monde. Sweetman heard that the film had been destroyed but the pasty creeper tells him that it hasn't or else he'd know because the movie is a part of his soul.

Bellinger offers Sweetman $200,00 to find the print and says once he's watched it he will give it to Sweetman to screen in his theatre for two weeks. Sweetman begins his journey by travelling to New York to talk a reclusive film critic about the film. The critic tells him that the director of the film was planning on the massacre that happened on the day of the screening. He said he was there when it happened and he saw people murdering each other after the movie. Sweetman tells the critic he was hired to look for the print and the critic tells him that he should know what he's getting himself into. After the meeting with the critic he flies to Paris and talks to an acquaintance in the rare film business and asks if he could help him. The friend tells him he doesn't know anything about it and asks him to please stop searching for the film because bad things will happen.

His friend tells him that the only living survivor of the crew of the movie is blind and won't speak about it and Backovic, the director of Le Fin Absolue du Monde is almost certainly dead. He comes back later and tells his friend that he knows he isn't being completely truthful. Sweetman admits to him that he sees cigarette burns (which happens when the reel changes in a movie) and strange images. His friend tells him the more he looks for the film the more he'll see the cigarette burns and he will pay for every step closer that he takes. His friend tells him that he was the projectionist at the screening of the movie at the festival. He showed Sweetman his severely deformed hand and said that's what happened to him because of the movie. He told Sweetman the only reason he didn't die or go insane is because he was too afraid to watch the movie so he turned away.

His friend gives him the number of a filmmaker and says he wishes he wouldn't call the number but Sweetman does anyway. He arrives in a taxi at a warehouse with two bodyguards standing in front. The filmmaker tells that Sweetman that he knows he is changing and seeing things he can't explain and it's because of the movie. The filmmaker let's Sweetman go through an envelope of still from the movie and then two of his bodyguards hold him while the filmmaker drugs him. He wakes up duct taped to a chair with the taxi driver across from him. The filmmaker comes out with a machete wearing a leather mask and slits the taxi drivers throat and cuts of her head. He tells Sweetman that the act of murder is an art form and Le Fin Absolue du Monde is the apex of that.

Sweetman experiences another vision of cigarette burns and when he comes to he is holding the machete. The bodyguards are dead and the filmmaker is laying on the floor with his throat slit. Before the man dies, Sweetman asks if he knows where the film is and he says "Katja". Sweetman then flies to Vancouver British Columbia in search of Katja Backovic, the directors wife. She lets him into her home and tells him that he is the first one to make it this far. She also tells him that all of the stories about the film are true. She takes him into Backovic's room and shows him the equipment. Sweetman asks her how he died and she explained that Backovic watched the movie repeatedly and went insane. She tells him that he attempted to kill her but only disfigured her and then he killed himself.

He asks her if he can have the films and she says yes because it's already too late for him. He takes the films back to Bellinger in California and collects his $200,000. Shortly after he gets a call from Bellinger saying that he needs help. Sweetman arrives to find the butler standing in the foyer with cuts all over his body and accusing him of bringing trouble into the house before gouging out his eyes. Sweetman finds Bellinger in the projection room. He tells Sweetman that he watched the film and would highly recommend it. He said he wanted to make a movie of his own and then cuts out his own intestines and runs them through the projector. Sweetman blacks out and when he comes to he is watching Le Fin Absolue Du Monde. He gets a gun and then....

Boogity boogity, what's gonna happen next??? Idk..hows about you watch Cigarette Burns and find out for yourself. Now, onto what I thought. I actually kinda liked it. The whole idea of people watching a simple film and then going ape shit and killing people is intriguing to me...seriously. The plot was great and the acting was really good too. There was some nekkidness *some dead girl boobs and butt* a good amount of blood (especially when it sprayed from the taxi drivers neck..woo!) , some intestines, and a severed head...what more could a girl ask for?? I think overall I'd give it a 3 out 5. It kept my attention, which is hard to do sometimes =) and it was well written and well acted. Plus the little pasty white guy was weird looking...I mean...was that all make up or was he that weird looking and scrawny? IDK! But it was for sure creepy! OK, there you have it. As always you know what I'll say next, so stop by Dead End Horror next week for all new stuff. Thanks!! Ohh and peep out Zane's stuff as well!! He likes it when people look at his stuff!
                                                                                                                   

SASHA SLAUGHTER

                                                                   

                                                                      

THE EATER By: SASHA SLAUGHTER

He wants to eat you...

What it do, what it does?? Sasha here with you && this week we'll be doing something a little different. Ever hear of the TV series Fear Itself?? No?? Me either until Zane turned me onto it (haha..turned me on...rawr!!). Anyway, Fear Itself was a TV series in 2008 and was created by Mick Garris. It's an anthology series of horror and Sci-fi fantasy shows. The shows run about 42-43 minutes and it aired on NBC in the summer of 2008. The series ended on July 31st after it's 8th episode, leaving 5 episodes written and produced, but never aired. And heres a factoid for you, the theme song of the show is "Lie, Lie, Lie" by Serj Tankian of System of a Down...awesome! So kick back while I review the first episode of Fear Itself, it's called "Eater".

When rookie policewoman Danny Bannerman gets assigned to guard the serial killer referred to as "the Eater" the night gets precarious when two of her fellow officers begin to act very strangely...Dwayne "The Eater" Meller is brought into the police station in shackles and handcuffs and put into a holding cell. He pulls something out of his sleeve and begins chanting and weird things start happening and the only person that realizes it is Bannerman. The Sergeant briefs the officers on Meller and tells that them that in span of 2 years he's killed 30 people in 5 different states. He then tells them that he kills the male victims quickly but keeps the females to torture them and eventually cook and eat their body parts. He also tells them that he made clothing out of their skin and used their skin to make lamp shades.

Danny Bennerman, who is intrigued by morbid things, asks the Sergeant if she can look at Mellers' file. She reads the file and as she does, the lights flicker and she hears loud noises coming from the holding cell. She goes upstairs to check on him and finds him sleeping. She calls for Mattingly, the officer in charge of sitting in the holding room, and he is nowhere to be found. She goes to check on Meller because she thinks he isn't breathing and realizes that the cell is unlocked. Mattingly appears out of nowhere and tells her it's not a good idea to go into the cell. She notices that he is acting strangely, as was Marty, the other officer on duty. She accuses them of messing her because she is the only woman on the force. Mattingly pins her against the cell and tries to bite her but she runs away.

She goes to the main enterance to find that the doors are chained shut so no one can get in or out. She goes into one of the offices and finds Mattingly's body under his desk with his heart ripped out. She tries the phones and hears chanting on the other end. She meets the Sergeant in the locker room and tells him that she thinks that Meller escaped and killed Marty and Mattingly by eating their hearts and assuming their identities. She tells him that Mattingly told her of an old Cajun legend that says if you eat the still beating heat of another person that you can assume their body and their identity. The Sergeant is skeptical but goes with Bannerman to look for Meller.

They go into the holding room and find Marty hanging from the ceiling with his heart ripped out. They see another body behind the couch and Bannerman takes the bag of the head only to discover that it's the Sergeants body with a bullet hole in the forehead. Meller assumes the Sergeant's identity and tells Bannerman that he wants to eat her. She runs away and tries to get out of the locked doors when Meller assumes his own identity and eats her ear. She gets away and hides in a closet where she covers her neck in rat poison so when Meller tries to eat her...

AHHH!! If you're curious about the ending, how about you go ahead and give Fear Itself: Eaters a watch?? Now onto what I thought! WOW!! This is the first time I've ever heard of or watched this series and I gotta say, I'm impressed. The whole Cajun voodoo-switching bodies-cannibalism thing was just awesome! And not to mention that the character Meller was CREEPY! He was freaking tall and scary looking with the absolute most messed up teeth ever (Someone call that man a dentist!!). There was no nudity and no cussing, but thats no big deal really. There was a good bit of blood and a little bit of guts, and the plot was good enough to where there really didn't need to be alot of boobs and swearing to make it good. Overall I'd give this little gem a 4 out of 5...WOW!! I really liked this episode. The acting was good, the plot was good...it was just damn good!! I cannot wait to watch the rest of the series! And while you're here, check out Zombie Zanes stuff, you'll be glad you did!!

Sasha Slaughter