SUCK ME by: Zombie Zane

Coming to you live and direct from the Seven-Six-One-Oh-Seven. Zombie Zane here with my weekly shit. This week my partner Sasha Slaughter and I are talking vampires. She put together a couple of pretty cool articles so you fo sho should give them a read. Don't be a tool, just read them.

Now when it comes to vampires, I'm a total purest. That Twatlight shit where the vampires can walk around in the daylight is down right retarded. Fucking vampires do not, I repeat DO NOT walk around in the day. So, pack that shit up and peddle it down on 7th St. yo. I've seen maybe 100 vampire movies, maybe even more, and I gotta say, I never saw one where the blood suckers walked around in the day time without bursting into flames. Now I do appreciate the concept of Twatlight, and yes, I have seen the movies and I have read 3 out of the 4 books, but the daylight shit really sticks in my craw, ya dig? That and the fact that they don't sleep. What the fuck is that? All vampires sleep during the day. Everyone knows that. I'm getting off point. This isn't bang on Twatlight, in fact, this gives me a good way to tell ya what I'm up to with this
post. So, without further ado, here's what I got for ya today.

I made a list of the top 25 vampire movies that I've seen throughout my stint here on Earth. It wasn't easy, but somehow I managed to come up with what I think is a pretty solid list. Now I may have left some obvious ones out, maybe on purpose, maybe not, but as I like to say, my list, my rules. If you don't like it, make your own list. Or if you wanna disagree, send me a message, or send me your list of favorites. Or just
read what I got and STFU. Just kidding. Anywho, no more foreplay, let's get to the list.

                                 ZOMBIE ZANE'S TOP 25 VAMPIRE MOVIES

25. NOSFERATU (1922) The first adaptation of Bram Stokers novel. It's a silent film, but nonetheless, sox rockin.

24. DRACULA (1931) Bela Lugosi, no need to say more.

23. MARTIN (1977) Directed by George Fuckin' Romero. He does for vampires just like he did for zombies.

22. NEAR DARK (1987) A young Bill Paxton, a ton of gore, and all in all, a pretty good plot. Peep it out.

21. THE LAST MAN ON EARTH (1964) Vincent Price as the lead role, shitty ending, but still worth 76mins of your time.

20. JESUS CHRIST VAMPIRE HUNTER (2001) Kinda a horror comedy, plus it stars Marry Magnum (wink-wink)

19. THE VAMPIRE LOVERS (1970) Lesbian sex, tons of violence, and of course, Ingrid Pitt.

18. INNOCENT BLOOD (1992) From John Landis. If you like his shit, give this one a view.

17. VAMPYROS LESBOS (1970) A horror/erotica vampire story. Kinda corny, but still it makes the cut.

16. COUNT DRACULA AND HIS VAMPIRE BRIDE (1974) Corny, over the top, but hell, it was the 70's. Like it for what it is.

15. THE NIGHT FLIER (1997) Adapted from a short story by Stephen King.

14. VAMP (1986) A kinky, modern day vamp story. Just good clean fun.

13. THE WISDOM OF THE CROCODILES (1998) Starring Jude Law and directed by Po Chih Leong.

12. 30 DAYS OF NIGHT (2007) Some of the best looking vampires ever! And very bloody.

11. THE NIGHT STALKER (1972) Vegas vamps get exterminated in this cult classic.

10. THE LOST BOYS (1987) The two Coreys, Jamie Gertz, Keifer, a great vamp movie! I grew up with this one.

9. JOHN CARPENTER'S VAMPIRES (1998) A horror/western film with a great cast, a great plot, a fuckin cool film!

8. FROM DUSK TILL DAWN (1997) Classic Robert Rodriguez! Clooney and Tarantino rock this fucking thing!

7. BRAM STOKER'S DRACULA (1992) Minus dorky ass Keanu (fucking Bill and Ted) this is a great one. Coppola baby!

6. THE ADDICTION (1995) Star cast, but rather unconventional. It's said that this film is really about drug addiction.

5. CRONOS (1993) Long before Pan's Labyrinth, Del Toro bust on to the scene with this little nugget.

4. DRACULA : PAGES FROM A VIRGIN'S DIARY (2002) My mom of all people turned me on to this one. It's beautiful!

3. FRIGHT NIGHT (1985) MMMMMMMMM!!! His dinner is in the oven.....(if you don't know that line, watch the movie)

2. SALEM'S LOT (1979) A fuckin classic! This is still one of the best ever.

1. LET THE RIGHT ONE IN (2008) The end all beat all of vampire flicks. If you haven't seen this, you gotta. Mind blowing.

Well, there ya have it. My list of the best vampire movies ever. Check back next week for some new shit. Until then, take care, stay a-scared, and I am out!