DON'T MESS WITH THE SQUATCH!! By: SASHA SLAUGHTER

Hey there! We are at it again here at Dead End Horror. And we're back to bring you man vs beast week (Booo!). Zane gets to boss me again, so this was his brilliant idea, because he knows I don't like these kind of movies very much. But hey, what can you do?? If there’s anything I've learned about life, it's that there are always going to be times when you have to do something that you don't like. So, with that being said, I'll deal. Anyway!! I'm going to tell you a little about the movie Assault of the Sasquatch. It came out in 2009 and was directed by Andrew Gernhard.

Authorities arrest ruthless bear poacher, Terry Drake, in the state park and impound his truck. But what they don't know is that inside of his truck is the legendary Sasquatch. Back at the precinct where they take Drake to book him, the Sasquatch escapes hoping to get revenge on the poacher who took him from his natural habitat.

 

 Drake and his two men are in the woods setting traps trying to find bears to kill and sell. They hear a loud noise in the woods and he tells one of his men to go see what it was. Shortly after he sees Sasquatch and shoots it with the tranquilizer. He tells them over the walkie talkies that he found it and that its huge. The officers sitting nearby hear him over their radio and decide to go investigate. They load Sasquatch into the truck and Drake calls a collector and tells him they caught something for his collection and asks for one million dollars for it.

It wakes up and tries to escape from the truck and Drake shoots it with more tranquilizers. He's quickly shutting the doors of the truck when the police arrive. They arrest him and take him to the precinct while one of the officers takes his truck back to the station. After they take Drake into the precinct, the Sasquatch escapes. It starts walking through the streets and looks into a window in some chicks house and sees her stripping and getting into the shower (His eyes get all wide and makes the funniest noise..omg! haha). He sneaks into her room and finds her bra and sniffs it before going into the bathroom and watching the girl shower. He's about to get a closer look when the girls dog comes into the room. The squatch gets agitated and stomps on poor fluffy and leaves. Two nerds, Don and Murph are running all over town asking people if they've seen the Sasquatch and freaking about being in the National Sasquatch Society. While the squatch was looking into the girls window they captured video of him on the girls roof. After they get the footage they freak out and decide to follow it.
                                   

                                                                        
Officers bring someone else into the precinct after they arrest Drake because the other station was full. As they are taking him back to the holding cells he sees officer Ryan Walker and tries to attack him. When Walker realizes that it's Talon, who was one of two people that broke into his home ten years earlier, he has a flashback of his wife and daughter in their house when his wife calls to tell him that someone broke in. He arrives at the house to find his wife dead and shoots one of the robbers. He realizes that the guy that was brought in was one of the intruders that was in his house whom he arrested. Talon starts talking shit to Drake and after a few minutes Drake offers to make a deal with Talon. He says that if Talon can get him out of there, Drake will give him a cut of the money he's going to make from selling the Sasquatch to the collector.

Just then Jessica comes into the room when she realizes who he is. She tells him that he ruined her life because his brother killed her mother. He tells her she deserved it because her father killed his brother. He tries to grab her through the cell bars when Jessica runs away. Officer Jameson walks in and sees him try to grab her. He grabs a hold of Talon and tells him to never touch her again. Talon looks at him and tells him made a big mistake and then stabs him in the throat with scissors. He takes Jameson's keys and unlocks his cell door. Drake asks him to let him out and Talon tells him no, that he has a score to settle. Just then they realize that the truck has been broken into. They go out to find the doors ripped open and a dead guy in the truck with his guts hanging out. They see the Sasquatch watching them from a few feet away. It starts running towards them and they run back into the precinct and lock the doors.

                                                              

Just then Talon shoots the breaker box and the power goes out. The back up generators kick on a few moments later only to go back out when Talon shoots the generator. The emergency lights come on and Krystal, one of the officers, decides to check on Drake. She goes into the room of holding cells to discover that Talon is gone and Jameson is dead. Drake laughs and tells her that Talon has a little score to settle. A few blocks away Jessica's boyfriend Leighton calls to let her know that she left her wallet there and he is coming to return it to her. He notices someone is following him and turns around and comes face to face with the Sasquatch. He maces it and it runs away. A few moments later it comes back and starts throwing things at him. (Rocks, tires...anything it gets its hands on). Jessica hears Leighton calling for her and looks outside to see him standing in front of the precinct all bloody and banged up. He starts walking toward the doors when the squatch appears and grabs him and runs away.                                                                      

                                                                    
They start hearing noises coming from the building. Jessica gets grabbed from the room by the Sasquatch. He drops her outside and starts sniffing her when Amy, the secretary at the precinct, comes out and throws a knife at it. She starts kicking it (Little chick has some mad squabbles...even it looked totally fake) and fighting it off with a police shield. He throws the shield aside and knocks her to the ground when Ryan comes out and shoots at it and they all run back inside. They decide to let Drake out so he can help them get out because he knows more about the Sasquatch.

They go into the evidence room in the basement to get weapons to arm themselves with in case they run into the Sasquatch. The two nerdy fucks run into the Sasquatch and start spazzing out when he kills the chubby one (Thank god he died! Ughh he was soo annoying). The other one tries to run but he impales him with a sign. Just then he sees Drake through the window and charges through the doors to get to him. Everyone is trying to fight him off with the weapons they got. The squatch gets stabbed and it slows him down enough for everyone to run. The Sasquatch leaves the precinct and Drake tells them that he is going to hide the bodies of the people he killed so no one knows anything is wrong. Ryan goes out to distract the Sasquatch while everyone escapes through a window and runs into an underground tunnel. He finally finds Drake and tries to attack him but he stabs it and gets away. The collector that Drake called arrives and exclaims that they've made a mess of everything.

 

                                                                                 
Krystal and Jessica get out of the tunnel when Talon appears and stabs Krystal and kidnaps Jessica. He ties her to a chair in the abandoned warehouse and tells her that he was the one who killed her mother. Jessica's father appears and starts to fight Talon. Jessica uses a pocket knife to cut the ropes to free herself. Talon comes at her and she stabs him in the stomach. Drake runs past with the Sasquatch close behind. He stops when he sees Talon and breaks his neck and runs after Drake. The squatch finds them in a room but before he can attack, the collector shows up shoots it with a bow thinger. Jessica asks who he is and just as he's telling them he's their savior, the Sasquatch kills the collector. Drake starts running and the Sasquatch follows him. They start fighting and Drake shoots him with a nail gun several times. He then grabs a chain saw but the Sasquatch knocks it out of his hands. The Sasquatch presses a button and something falls from the ceiling and crushes Drake. Drake flips off the squatch and it rips off his middle finger and puts it on his necklace (Yes, Sasquatch was wearing jewelry). He leaves the room and sees Ryan, Krystal, and Jessica and then...

                                                                            
OH NO!! And then what?? Hop on over to Netflix and watch Assault of the Sasquatch and find out! Now, lets hear what I have to say huh??? Where do I begin??? This movie was sooo cheesy and so over the top. Seriously! It was a total campy B movie and it shows. Some of the scenes looked like they were shot with someone’s home video recorder. For real! The acting was horrible and over done. And Sasquatch had long hair and...a necklace?? Really? I highly doubt if you find a squatch in the woods it will be wearing jewelry. That was just strange. And Don and Murph ( I'm a sexy bitch Murph...look at me!!) were horribly annoying but definitely added comedy to the mix. I laughed and cringed every time I saw them. A part of me wanted them to shut up and die, but another part was like HA! THEY'RE FUNNY! The chubby one was just soo over the top and always freaking out. It was hilarious! But I must say, when they got offed, I was sort of relieved 

                                                                                  
Overall I'd give Assault of the Sasquatch a 2.5 out of 5. It really wasn't that great at all. I mean, parts of it were definitely entertaining. It had that sort of tongue in cheek quality you see in a lot of campy B movies. There was a brief boob flash, and a decent amount of blood, and a chick with no legs crawling from the tunnel, which was cool. I don't think I'd watch it again though. It's OK once, but anything more than that would be borderline torture! So, that's that. Now how about you go check out Zane's list of the best man vs. beast movies!! He likes it when you check out his stuff!

Sasha 'The Chambermaid' Slaughter

                                                       

BEASTIALITY IS STRICTLY PROHIBITED!!! By: Zombie Zane

What’s good horror fans that run around in the daylight making cinder block yard art.  Looks like it’s time once again to do what we do and talk some horror.  For today’s post, I’ve put together a list of some of the best ‘Man vs. Beast’ horror films.  After all, that is the flavor of the week here at D.E.H.

Now before I get to the list, I gotta tell ya, there are a shitload of these films out there. Hell, you probably have some in your movie collection. Now understand, I’ve left out one particular iconic man vs. beast film.  SPOILER ALERT!! I didn’t include “Jaws.” Why you may ask? Well, let me tell ya. It’s a great movie and I am aware it’s classic MVB (man versus beast) but it’s been mentioned and talked about ad nauseam.  I know for a fact it’s appeared on several of our lists here. So that’s the reason I didn’t throw it in to the mix.  I just wanted to kinda throw in some other shit. Plus, it’s my blog, and I make the rules.  You don’t like it, then you can fuck off outta here and make your own list.                

So, enough foreplay. Let’s nude up and get to it, yes?

One more thought before the list. These films are not in any particular order. It’s just a list of ten. No more, no less. So anyway, here’s the list:

10.  20,000 Leagues Under the Sea (1954) Old school baby! And get this, it’s actually a Disney movie! No shit! A first here at D.E.H. I don’t think we’ve had a Disney movie here. Anyway, this ‘54 classic features an all star cast and actually won two Academy Awards. It’s good stuff and you should look into it. It’s on Netflix instant watch for those who wanna know.

9. Lake Placid (1999) This film has been mentioned here at DEH a time or two as well, but fuck it. This film rocks from start to finish.  Oliver Platt is awesome in this movie! Plus who doesn’t like a giant croc? Awesome movie all the way around.

8.  Deep Blue Sea (1999) Killer sharks with human intelligence is just a recipe for disaster.  I actually enjoyed this film. I know there’s some haters, but fuck, man, it’s really pretty cool. If you’re a fan of shark films not named “Jaws” go give it a watch.

7.  Godzilla (1998) Wouldn’t be a good list without this remake. C’mon man! Gotta put Godzilla on here. This is man versus beast at its best. I loved the Godzilla movies when I was a kid, and sometimes I still geek out to ‘em. ...”Oh No! There goes Tokyo! Go-go Godzilla!”

6.  King Kong (2005) Again, man versus beast at its finest. Loved this remake, loved the classic. This is one of the few MVB films where you actually root for the beast.  I normally hate remakes, but these is one of those exception to the rules.

5.  Man’s Best Friend (1993) Back to the 90's we go! Fuck I just realized 4 of the last 6 movies are from the ‘90's. Huh. Go figure. Anyway, this film stars Ally Sheedy and one pissed off canine. I hesitated to put this movie on here, but I liked it so it made the cut.

4.  Tremors (1990) Another one from the 90's? YIKES! Kevin Bacon stars in this movie about huge, man eating worms. To me, this is kinda like an old school monster movie. That’s one of the reasons I really liked this film. It’s corny and a bit campy, but it has lots of charm.

                                                                          
 3.  Anaconda (1997) J.Lo and a huge snake. Need I say more. And I think it has Ice Cube in it too.  “...My anaconda don’t want none unless you got buns hun! Whapisssh!”

                                                                            
2.  Razortooth (2006) A giant eel that eats college students. What’s not to like? This actually is a pretty tripped out film. It’s directed by Patricia Harrington and this film really surprised me. But then again, I have low standards so I’m rarely disappointed.

                                                                                
1.  Cujo (1983) From the master of horror himself. This King adaptation scared the shit outta me! I was like terrified of dogs for a long time after seeing this movie. If I were putting this list in order, this would be my numero uno. One of the few King adaptations that worked on the big screen.

                                                                        
Well, there ya have it. All in all not a bad list. I just thought of another movie I should’ve added. I should’ve added “Piranha”. Whatever. Anyway, that’s all I got for today. Be sure and go by and see what Sasha’s up to. Her window is always open and if you’re lucky you may just get to see her undress.

Sasha's Bum!!

                                                                       
Until next time, take care, stay a-scared and I am out! 

Zombie Zane

                                                            

DRUNK & DEBAUCHEROUS BEHAVIORS...By: ZOMBIE ZANE

What’s good horror fans that love our shit and can’t wait to read more? Hope all had a very safe and debauchery filled Labor Day. I know here at Dead End Horror it was nothing but beer, vodka, mucho illegal substances and of course group sex.  That’s how we do here at The Horror. Sasha is such a bad influence on all of us.                                                      

                                                                  
Now before I get in today’s post, I gotta clear the air for a second.  It came to my attention that someone who reads this blog has been doing a bit of shit talking about your buddy Zombie Zane.  So, person who will remain nameless, one thing I gotta say...I’m gonna be dialing direct and  I may fuck around and use some foul and offensive language. So without further ado, this FUCK YOU is for you. Keep your stupid mouth shut you shit talking, down on all fours everynight, cocksucking, washed out hag.  Choke on it you stupid cunt! Choke on it!  You don't know me.  So keep your opinions and retarded comments to your fuckin' self.  Walk in my shoes, or get to know me first before you start runnin' that ignorant, cum receptacle, that you call a mouth.

                                                                     
There, now I feel a whole lot better about this situation.  Don’t you?

Now then, where was I? Oh yeah, today’s post. Today’s post is gonna be kinda a bit different. As you can tell from the above paragraph.  Sorry, I tend to wig.  In any case, today’s post is basically just gonna be a rundown of what we're gonna be doing this week at D.E.H. 

So here’s what we got on the docket for this week...This week is all about man versus beast.  This will totally be MAN vs. BEAST WEEK!! Hell to the yeah! Monster movies are fuckin’cool, yo! Anyway, the incredibly busty Sasha Slaughter will be giving her take on “Assault of the Sasquatch,” and “Blood Monkey.” Two pretty good man vs. beast films. So be sure and give her stuff a once over.  Or maybe a twice over.  She likes when you look at her stuff.  She does...trust me. I'm a professional.

As for me, your buddy Zombie Zane, I’m gonna be giving you a top five, or maybe a top ten list of some of the best man vs. beast type of films.  I’ll throw in my take on the film, “Grizzly Park,” and just for shits and giggles I’ll  educate you sheep on the movie, “The Breed.”

So we got bears, wild canines, and fuckin’ Sasquatch.  Add some killer apes to the mix and all in all not a bad week.  Not a bad week at all. So be sure and come back tomorrow and check us out.  After all, we are the horror blog with the most swagge.  And you ca believe that! On our worst day, our better is always, ALWAYS better than the other horror blogs better. 

So until next time, take care, stay a-scared and I am out!

3 WAY WITH A PARASITIC BUG...WHAT WHAT??!! By: SASHA SLAUGHTER

Hey now! What's good? Okay, this is another post by the busty Sasha Slaughter. Again, we're making some changes around here and as of now we're right on schedule. So as I've been saying, we'll have new shit on Monday so until then, hang tight and enjoy these re-posts. Thanks for your patience and we'll see you on the flip side! Mucho love-o, your buddy, Zombie Zane.

This time I'm telling the truth, this is the final day of random stuff month...I promise!! Sasha Slaughter here with you creeps for the final time this week to bring you one last day of totally random shit. Since I am the "series girl" (According to Zane) I'll be reviewing Masters of Horror episode 10: Sick Girl. It was directed by Lucky McKee and based on a story written by Mckee and Sean Hood.

Ida Teeter is a shy entomologist who has a wide variety of insects throughout her home, which happen to be the cause of her most recent break up from her girlfriend. Max Grubb, a fellow employee of Ida's, informs her that her obsession with her job is the reason why her lady friends never stick around very long. She is heartbroken by this and decides to try something different. She runs into the beautiful and strange Misty Falls, who sits in the lobby of McNaughton Museum of Natural History everyday and draws pixies on her sketch pad. She is instantly attracted to Misty and is enamored with the possibility of being with her, but her co worker tells her "Babes or bugs. You can't have both".

That same day a mysterious package shows up on Ida's doorstep. It is postmarked from Brazil and it contains a large mantis-like insect. The landlady knocks on Ida's door and says she is concerned with all of Ida's "pets" and asks her to please keep them in check. Later that night she examines the mantis-like creature and fondly names him Mick. She calls Max and tells him about the creature and leaves to go speak to him. Shortly after Ida leaves, Mick escaped from the plastic tank. The following day Ida finally gathers up the courage and asks Misty to dinner that night. Misty enthusiastically agrees and they go out do dinner at a Chinese restaurant. Misty then asks Ida if they can watch a movie called "Texas Pixies" on Ida's DVD player. Ida agrees but is worried what Misty would think of her large collection of bugs. Meanwhile, while they are on their date, Mick finds the Landlady's dog and drags it into one of Ida's bedroom pillows and eats it. Later on there are posters advertising the lost dog.                                      

 Ida shows Misty the apartment but makes sure to not let her see the bug collection. They drink bourbon and watch "Texas Pixies" together. They start getting closer but Ida sees one of her bugs, named Max, and rushes to put him back in the cage. When she comes back she sees that Misty has fallen asleep on the couch. She goes to the bedroom and gets a pillow (The one that Mick is hidden inside of) and puts it under Misty's head. She wakes up from her drunken slumber and realizes she is too drunk to drive. Ida allows Misty to stay the night. Misty returns the favor by stripping off her shirt and seducing Ida. Mick is still in the pillow and while Ida and Misty are together, Mick nips Misty's ear, but she dismisses it. Ida wakes up the following morning to find that Misty has found her vast bug collection and has a great interest in it. Ida also discovers that her favorite professor, the great Malcolm Wolf happens to be Misty's father.

Ida finally realizes that Mick has escaped and the two spend the morning searching the apartment for him. Ida describes the bug to Misty and Misty draws a picture for Ida. Ida leaves to take the drawing to Max, but Max doesn't take the matter seriously. Shortly after Ida leaves, Misty begins feeling pain in her right ear. She scratches it and finds a small sample of some foreign saliva and then suddenly becomes too weak to stand. Ida comes back from her meeting with Max and discovers that Misty brought her things with her and is starting to move in. Misty starts displaying strange and unusual tendencies, such as an appetite for Ida's bugs.

                                                                                                     

 While doing the laundry, Misty finds the pillow that Mick has been hiding and has the strange urge to lay next to it. While doing so, Mick comes out of the pillow and invades her incredibly chewed on ear. Ida gets a letter that same day and it seems almost apologetic in nature, which she suspects is from Malcolm Wolf. The letter explains that the insect could be dangerous. Ida finds Misty in the hallway and Misty grabs her for a passionate kiss in front of the landlady and her young granddaughter. She is disgusted by the display and berates the two women before giving them two weeks to pack their things and move out. When they get back into the apartment, Ida tells Misty that she is horrified by her strange behavior and crude remarks to the landlady. Misty goes into a rage and then passes out. Upon waking up Misty tells Ida about a fairytale-like dream where she was a fairy resting on a lily pad. She then encountered a beautiful bug, whom she described as Mick. She tells Ida that he landed on her and inserted his proboscis into her navel and inserted "his juices" into her. The phone rings and it's Max asking Ida to come to the lab immediately.

When she arrives at the lab Max tells her everything about the bug from Brazil. He tells her that the bug is found inhabiting the nests of birds and other animals where it behaves like a parasite. It inserts its proboscis into the animal and drinks its blood while at the same time invading the hosts reproductive DNA and making the host carry out the insects young. Max insists that its funny, but Ida is terrified that Misty had in fact been bitten by the bug. Back at the apartment the bug inseminates Misty during a sexual encounter. Misty leaves the apartment and finds an eviction notice stapled to the door. She sees the landlady and says crude and offensive things to her. The landlady is revolted, calling Misty a monster when Misty morphs two insect eyes, and the terrified landlady falls over the stairway to her death.
                                            

Ida returns home to see the corpse of her landlady being wheeled away by medics. Misty tries to make light of the situation in front of Betty, the landlady's granddaughter. Ida is repulsed that Misty would do such a thing and calls Max over to her apartment. Ida finds Misty in the bathtub and she reveals to Ida that the bug has been in a pillow the whole time. Ida is almost convinced that the insect has bitten Misty when Misty reveals a secret. She tells Ida that her father, Malcolm Wolf, sent the insect to Ida in hopes that it would bite her and make her repulsive to Misty. Misty gets out of the tub and morphs into a human-bug monster. Ida begins screaming and Max breaks into the apartment only to be instantly killed by Misty. While Ida is laying on the floor, Mick scurries over to her and....

What does the creepy little bug to do poor Ida?? If you wanna know that badly, watch Sick Girl and find out!! Now, I'm too sure about this episode. I mean, the people in it were weird. Ida was incredibly awkward and Misty was strange too. The acting was definitely over the top, although I think it was meant to be a little campy. There really wasn't much blood, no nekkidness (And you'd think you'd see some cuz there were some sensual lesbian moments...but noooo) and like 2 death scenes. Ehh. The bug looked kinda creepy, I'd spaz if I found something like that gnawing on my ear, that's for sure. And Ida's voice was the absolute most annoying thing ever...OMG!! She kind of sounds like Kat Von D, but more aggravating, if that makes any sense. It was just awful. The whole episode was insanely cheesy, especially the end. I think overall I'd give Sick Girl a 2 out of 5. Definitely not my fave MOH episode. I won't be watching this episode again, even if you paid me. Now that that’s over with, how about you stop by and see what Zombie Zane is up to. I hear he blogs wearing nothing but a smile!!! Thanks for stopping by and as always, check back next week for all new stuff here at Dead End Horror.

                                                                                           

Sasha Slaughter and ???

                                                                                           

I VANT TO SUCK YOUR BLOOD! BY: ZOMBIE 'Nah-Nah' ZANE

What’s up horror fans that sleep all day and stay up all night running amok with plastic swords! Anyway, Zombie Zane here with you once again and once again it’s time to do what we do. For today, I wanna tell you about this movie I watched last night. Anyone ever seen, “The Satanic Rites of Dracula?” No? Then kick on back a sec and let me educate you.

“The Satanic Rites of Dracula” is a 1974 Hammer horror film. (Hammer is a production company that is known for its gothic-vampire movies) Anyway, this is the eighth Hammer film and it’s also a sequel to “Dracula A.D. 1972.” But don’t worry, you don’t have to see the A.D. film to keep up with this one.  “Rites of Dracula” also stars Christopher Lee and the always cool Peter Cushing. It’s directed by Alan Gibson and runs just about 90mins.  It’s not available on Netflix for instant watch, but you can do the whole mail/dvd thing if you are so inclined.                   

                                                                                                               

Basically the film breaks down like this: Scotland police fear that there is some vampire shit going down in the area. So, they hook up with Van Helsing, a top notch vampire expert.  Before I go on, you should see the haircut on this cop, too funny! Talk about a dorky sumbitch...Dude looks like the missing link, no?
            

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                
Anyway, the cops and Van Helsing find out that Dracula is about to fuck shit up in a major way. His plans are to release an advanced form of the Black Plague onto the world thus destroying the human race as we know it. Why? I have no clue. That doesn’t really sound like vampire activity to me but whatever. I didn’t write the movie. But in any case, that’s about how this film breaks down.

Now as for what I thought about this thing, It was just okay for me. It’s not the best of the Hammer films. I mean don’t get me wrong, it’s fuckin’ cool to see Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee in the same film, and it did have a naked Maggie Fitzgerald, but this film just came up a bit short. Especially the ending.  A bush! Are you fucking kidding me? I won’t elaborate any further in case you do plan on watching this.  But be ready for a shit pile of an ending.
                                         

                                     
Okay. I give “The Satanic Rites of Dracula” a 2 out of 5. Like I said, not the best of the Hammer films. I would’ve given it a higher mark but shit, man, you didn’t see Dracula until like 40mins in, there wasn’t enough blood, and the ending was on the retarded side. So all things considered, it escapes with a 2.

But I will tell you this, if you aren’t familiar with the Hammer films, you should look into them.  Especially if you aren’t familiar with Christopher Lee. He makes a damn good Count Dracula and he’s a creepy fuck.  So read this, check out what Sasha has going on, and go watch some Hammer films.

                                                                             
 So until tomorrow, take care, stay a-scared and I am out!
                                                                                                         

A whore in church

                                                        
                                                                                                         

TRIP ALONG WITH ME BY: SASHA SLAUGHTER

Ughh I need some coffee up in this bitch!!! Oh hi there! Sasha Slaughter here with you and we'll be bringing you 2 more days of complete randomness. Oh yeah!! So I was kind of stumped as to what to do today, so Zane helped me out a little. He recommended that I give the movie Shrooms a watch, so I did. And now I'm going to tell you all about it...or almost all about it. So put your hand down your pants and get comfy, cuz here we go!

When a group of adventurous American kids on holiday in rural Ireland eat some magic mushrooms, they find themselves plagued by nightmarish visions. Is it all real or is just drug induced paranoia? Tara and her friends Lisa, Holly, Bluto, and Troy meet up with Jake, Tara's one time boyfriend in Ireland for a trip they'll never forget. Jake plans on taking them into the woods and introducing them to magic mushrooms. On they way into the woods Tara hits an animal on the road and everyone gets out to investigate. Two hillbilly creepers come out of the woods (Irish hillbilly creepers that is) and look at the animal and Jake tells everyone that they want the dead animal. He picks it up and places it in front of them and they leave. They set up camp in the middle of the woods and go searching for magic mushrooms.                 

Jake is talking to Troy and Holly when they find a mushroom with a black tip. Jake tells them that it can kill anyone who eats it by stopping their heart or making their kidneys or lungs explode. He then tells them that in ancient Irish stories the mushrooms were said to cause premonitions, the ability to talk to the dead, shape shifting and uncontrollable ferocity. Tara isn't with the group when they are warned about the black tipped mushrooms and comes across one while walking through the woods. Always wanting to be a bit more dangerous, Tra decides to eat one. Soon after she starts hearing and seeing things. She collapses onto the ground and is having a convulsion when Jake finds her. She tops breathing and he gives her CPR. She coughs and starts breathing again telling him that she knew he was coming for her.

He carries her back to camp and Lisa takes her into a tent, gives her water and tells her to rest. After she leaves the tent, Lisa joins the others while Jake starts telling them a story. He tells them the story of the abandoned house a few miles away from where they are. He tells them about a boy (He was called the Lonely Twin) who went insane and killed 78 people, but they never found him or the person they called The Black Brother (Does that sound as racist to you as it does to me?). Tara starts seeing images of the story that Jake is telling. He tells everyone that there are stories of people hearing voices and seeing things in the woods and sometimes getting hit by rocks that are thrown from nowhere. Everyone starts freaking out and decide to go to bed.   

Bluto gets into a fight with Lisa and she kicks him out of the tent. He goes to the fire where the mushrooms are boiling and drinks the tea they made from the mushrooms. Shortly after he starts tripping hardcore and wanders into the woods. He comes across a talking cow who tells him that he is fucked (Ha..that talking cow was funny). The cow tells him not to walk in the direction that he was headed but he goes anyway. He thinks he sees a girl in the woods and follows after her. He sees a car parked in the middle of the woods and remembers the story Jake told him. He said that if you see a car in the woods and two people are making out inside, if they flash the light three times you are supposed to go to the window and put your dingus inside the window, and the girl inside will give the guy a happy ending (A romance explosion!). He goes to the window and puts his dingus inside and a head appears and he thinks he's getting a blow job when a head falls out of the window. He backs away and gets pulled back in front of the car and gets his dingus bitten off. He is trying to escape when a dark figure (The Black Brother) hits him with an axe.

                                                                                  

Tara had a dream that there was trouble and goes out looking for Bluto in the woods. She finally finds him talking to a cow and brings him back to camp and puts him in her tent to go sleep. The next morning Lisa wakes up with some of her hair cut off and a pair of scissors beside her and she thinks that Bluto did it. So Tara and Lisa go looking for him because he left in the middle of the night again. Tara and Lisa find everyone back at camp, already tripping, and tell them that they can't find Bluto. No one seems to care and they find his shoes and shorts next to the river. Tara, Lisa, and Holly all go looking for him in the woods. Just then Tara has a vision of Bluto being killed and sees a dark figure coming out of the woods. She tells Lisa and Holly what she's seen and that she is seeing things before they happen.

Lisa and Holly start to fight and they roll down an embankment and Lisa rolls into a ditch. She sees a hand above the ditch and thinks it's Tara or Holly trying to help her. She grabs the hand and Bluto's body rolls on top of her. She gets out of the ditch and starts freaking out. They start hearing noises in the woods and Tara goes to see if it's Jake and Troy. She sees the dark figure in the woods and tells everyone to run. Holly finds a shed in the woods that belongs to the two hillbilly creepers. They let her in and she asks if they have a phone. They tell her they do, but she realizes that it doesn't work. They tell Holly that they used to me in the home that Jake was telling them about. She goes into the bathroom and locks herself in when she hears noises outside the door. The two hillbillies let something into the shed and ran out the door and locked it. She escapes from the shed and runs into the woods.

                                                                       

Tara goes looking for her and finds her scarf on a branch by the river. She eventually finds Lisa in the woods and tells her that she thinks Jake’s stories are real. She then starts going into convulsions and sees the hillbilly creepers chasing Holly. She is hanging onto a tree when one of the creepers is killed. She sees Holly come down from the tree and start talking to the thing that was locked in the shed. She gives him candy and tells him she wants to be friends. He looks at her for a minute and then jumps at her, and that’s where Tara's vision ends. She tells Lisa that Holly is dead and tells her to go in the river and look by the rope. Lisa does as Tara says and finds an axe in the river and Holly's lifeless body floating next to it. Tara tells Lisa that she (Tara) is next to die. Lisa freaks out and runs away from her. Tara then has a vision of Lisa getting killed by the dark figure in the river.                                       
                                                                                                      

Tara finds the old house from Jake’s story and goes in it to see if she can find Jake and Troy. Jake and Troy are in the house but are hiding from The Lonely Twin and The Black Brother. They keep hearing someone calling their names. They lock themselves in a room and as Troy is trying to find another door to escape, the Lonely Twin finds him and stabs him with a knife. Something comes after Jake and he runs and jumps out a window. Tara hears him and runs outside to find Jake laying on the ground. She puts a splint on his leg and says that they can get through this together. They are walking through the woods when she tells him that the figure is near them because she can feel it. She tells Jake to stay put and goes to investigate. Jake hears the dark figure in the tree above him, and then it attacks him. Tara rushes to Jake to find him dying, before he dies he tells her that he loves her. She runs through the woods trying to escape the dark figure when she runs into it. She wakes on a Gurney and has flashbacks of everything that happened and realizes that...

Well now, if you want to know what Tara realized, watch Shrooms and find out for yourself. You'll be glad you did. So, my thoughts on Shrooms...It was AWESOME!! Good job Zane!! That was a really good movie. I didn't even see the ending coming, it definitely surprised me. I read the reviews of the movie and a lot of the people said the end was cheesy...WTF were they watching?? Piss off!!! I totally stole that from Zane =). Anyway, there wasn't an excessive amount of gore, just enough to make it good. Some films are a bit too gory, which makes them not so believable. But Shrooms had just the right amount of gore and suspense to make it good. You had no idea whether it was just a horrible trip they were all on or if someone or something was whacking them one by one. Overall I'd give Shrooms a 4 out of 5. The acting was decent, the plot was good, the ending surprised me and the talking cow that was cussing at the guy was just plain funny. I mean, the cow told him he was fucked...or was the cow really talking at all?? Hmmmm!!! But yeah, I highly recommend this movie to you, our faithful blog readers. Thanks for stopping by and don't forget to swing by and see what Zane has in store for you...it might just blow your minds!

Sasha Slaughter

                                                                                                            

I'M HOWLIN' FOR YOU BY: ZOMBIE 'MR. SAXOBEAT' ZANE

What’s up horror fans that sit up all night thinking of ways to become one of the cool kids. Guess it’s time to post something. I’ve been a bit behind as of late, burning my candle at both ends I guess. But what are ya gonna do? Complain. I would but who really gives a fuck.

Man, I ate too much today. My stomach is full and I think I might need to take a crap. I’ll try to get through this post first though.                                                              
                                                                                         

                                                                         
10 minutes later....


Ok, I couldn’t hold it. I left a log. Is this tmi? I’m sorry. Let’s get to today’s post shall we? I was gonna save this post until we did out werewolf week, but as I said, I’ve been really busy so fuck it. I’m gonna post it now.

What I got here is ten really kick ass werewolf movies you should check out.  I kinda think that werewolf movies get overlooked a bit.  Not sure why. I like ‘em. I always have.  But I’m not talking about those lame-ass Twatlight werewolves. Nosir! I’m talking the eat your ass, slash your throat, fuck you up kinda werewolf.  So here, take a look at these films. See what you think of my list. If you like it, you rock! If you don’t, then fuck off outta here and make your own list. Just joking. It’s my inner Chef Ramsey.  Love me some HK!  Ok, here's the list....

                                                                         
10.  GINGERSANPS 2: UNLEASHED (2004)   The second installment in the ‘GINGERSNAPS’ trilogy. Not near as good as the first one, but sequels rarely are.
                                                    
9.  UNDERWORLD (2003) It kinda has a love story theme going on, but the werewolves in this movie are bad-ass!  They would kick the shit out of Jacob and the other Twatlight wolves.

8.  NIGHT OF THE WEREWOLF (1981) This is very cheesy, very over the top, but it has a ton of nudity!  Not that that matters...Well, kinda it does.

7.  WOLFEN (1981) This one here is kinda on the arts-fartsy side. Not your typical werewolf film, but it’s worth 2hrs of your time.

6. THE HOWLING (1981) Classic werewolf film! Plus it stars E.T.’s mom! What’s not to like?
                                                                

5.  THE WOLFMAN (1941) The grandfather of all werewolf films. This is where it all began. Universal monster movies really set the stage. Go look in our old shit, we did a whole month dedicated to old school horror. You’ll love it.

4.  DOG SOLDIERS (2002) This movie is really a fun watch.  Lot’s of killing, lot’s of gore, lot’s of foul fuckin’ language.  A great British horror movie, y’all. Look into it.

3.  GINGERSNAPS (2000) ...”Your gonch is showing...” A really different take on the whole werewolf thing.  Plus it’s a chick who turns into a wolf and not a dude. So it gets cool points there.  If you don’t see any of these movies on this list but one, this is the one ya need to see.
                                                                                                              

                                                                                                                
2.  SILVER BULLET (1985) A Stephen King adaptation that he actually wrote the script for. This is another five star werewolf movie and a must see if you haven’t already.  But really, if you haven’t seen this yet, ya got no bussy here. Go educate yourself lame horror fan and come back and see me another time.  On second thought, stay with.  Hang with Sasha and I. We’ll show ya the ropes.

1.  AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON (1981) That’s right, one more from 1981. This John Landis directed film is hands down the best. The transformation scenes are cool as hell, especially for its time. There’s enough blood and gore for the bloodthirsty viewers, this movie has it all. And if you like naked David Naughton...this film is perfect for you!  

Ok, there’s my list. I guess that’s all I got for you today, if you didn’t like this post, then I’ll try and do better tomorrow. Or maybe I won’t.  And make sure you go and trip with Sasha a bit. I hear she’s tripping on ‘shrooms and showing her box.


Before I get outta here, here's some cool werewolf images that I thought you may enjoy. So feast your eyes about and enjoy any of the other enjoyments (remember that line, sis?) on this page. Until next time, take care, stay a-scared and I am out!




                  

The Werewolf Woman

Sadie Frost gettin' it from a werewolf

                                                                                 

                                    

DOG SOLDIERS

                                                                      

SASHA SLAUGHTER AS A WEREWOLF