Hello Dead End Horror fans that like to bake gingerdead cookies and hang mistletoe from your crotches. What’s good? Well, sadly, this is gonna be our last post until January 2nd. Sasha and I are shutting it down for the holidays. Not that we don’t want you to come and visit, by all means stop on by and read some of our old shit. We’d love it.
Anyway, hope everyone out there has their shopping done and whatnot. Me, eh, I’ll get it done one way or another. And by the way, please feel free to send us some shit too. Sasha and I do enjoy/appreciate presents. You can contact us @ deadendhorror.hushmail.me. So please feel free to bestow upon us plenty of goodies.
Well, I don’t really have anything horror for yous today. Hope everyone enjoyed some of the Christmas horror shit we did put out there. Those songs were funny, yes? And we did talk about some pretty good movies as well. So if you want, go back and check out those posts if you haven’t done so already.
Before I get outta here, I just wanna wish everyone a very Happy Holidays and a very Merry Christmas. Y’all be safe out there okay. I know with all the parties and shit some of yous enjoy a bit of drink. Just be cool and call a cab or something if you are too totaled to drive. Don’t fuck about, okay.
So I guess that’s about it. So until next year, this is Zombie Zane and Sasha Slaughter wishing everyone a very Happy Holidays and a Merry Christmas. C-ya next year!
Hello Dead End Horror fans that go commando on chilly, winter days. What’s good? So, I know that I said I was gonna do a list of five more holiday horror movies for ya, but...I changed my mind. Why? Because I’ve decided to use our time here to shamelessly self promote some of my other work. I know that sounds lame and shit, but I gotta do what I gotta do.
Look, you don’t have to read every motherfucking story. Alls you gotta do is simply clink the links and maybe share it on facebook, or Twitter or whatever. I could really use the hits and I know that I would totally do that for you if the shoe was on the other foot.
And by the way, it ain’t like these stories are long and shitty. In fact, most of these are horror. So see, it’s all good. Now then, because of Yahoo!’s strict rules, I had to keep most of these on the PG-13 level. So no fucks, cunts, assholes, dicks, cocksuckers, etc. etc. Like I had to keep it relatively clean.
So, how about it? How about giving some of these a read. Help your good buddy Zombie Zane. You be good to Zombie, Zombie be good to you! Okay, here’s some of the links. Wait. Before I post these links, let me tell you about the three stories I wanna share with yous.
The first is a kinda horror/western theme, the second is about alien abductions and shit like that, the third is also alien related. But like I said, they all have a little horror in them. I mean after all, I am the horror master. Okay, here’s the links....
See, that wasn't so bad. Anyway, thanks for giving me the traffic. Really appreciate it. Before you go, be sure to see what Sasha has got going on. Maybe she's in the nude hanging up Christmas lights. Until Monday, take care, stay a-scared and I am out!
Well ho ho ho to you! Hey there! Sasha Slaughter here with you for the final time until the New Year. *Cue tears* You'll miss me right? But it's all good, you freaks can still google me...haha =) I'll be back before you know it! So for my last post this month I've decided to review a Christmas movie....YAY!! But it's not just any Christmas movie, it's from 1959...WHAT WHAT?? I was browsing Netflix and saw this movie and decided to share it with you.
I'll be telling you about a film called Santa Claus. It is a live action Mexican motion picture. It was directed by Rene Cardona and written by Rene Cardona and Adolfo Torres Portillo. The original film was produced in Mexico and features primarily Spanish dialogue. A dubbed and slightly edited English language (Which is the version I watched) version of the film was released in 1960 under the direction of K. Gordon Murray. So let me tell you a little about it.
Santa Claus works in his Toyland castle in outer space, but soon has to do battle with a demon named Pitch, sent to earth to kill Santa and to make of the children do evil. It is December twenty-fourth and Santa is busy making preparations to go to Earth and deliver presents to all of the good boys and girls. Little does he know, Satan has sent one of his demons to earth to turn the children against Santa. Pitch attempts to convince five children to make Santa angry. He chooses Lupita, a poor girl; Billy, the son of wealthy but negligent parents; and three trouble making brothers. Pitch fails in attempting to talk Lupita into stealing a doll, but succeeds in convincing the three brothers to break a toy shop window. In outer space, Santa's child workers alert him of these events.
Because he is unable to travel to earth before Christmas, he uses special equipment in his observatory to watch Pitch and the children. One device lets him see Lupita's dream, in which she is tormented by life size dolls, encouraging her to steal. He also listens to the three brothers as they plot to break into Billy's house and steal his toys. That night it is time for Santa to make his journey to earth. He goes to his trusted assistant Merlin to get his sleeping powder, and a flower that makes him disappear.
His last stop before he leaves the castle is to see the blacksmith who makes him a golden key every year that will unlock any door. He retrieves his items while his child workers get the toys and reindeer ready for his journey. During Santa's trip, Pitch makes several attempts to sabotage the delivery of Santa's toys in Mexico city. Does Santa make sure all of the boys and girls get their toys..or does Pitch see to it that his masters evil plan succeeds??
*Snores* Ohh hi!! Umm..is the movie over?? TOTAL SNOOZE FEST!! Ughh! I cannot tell you how many times I wanted to fall asleep during that cheese festival. I can't even begin to describe how lame that movie was. But then again, it is from 1959 and I probably shouldn't expect to get blown out of the water. I've been way too spoiled by today's high tech movies and such. It was originally a Spanish movie, with the dialogue all in Spanish, but it was dubbed in English. It was horrible!
And some of Santa's little kid workers spoke different languages, and they weren't dubbed into English, so I had no idea what the hell they were saying. And another thing...child workers??? Really Santa?? I guess the child labor laws were a bit looser back then, huh? And another thing, the first 10 minutes of the movie was some narrator introducing brats *Santa's child workers* from literally all over the country. And all they did was sing and do stupid stuff. That really annoyed me. And they sang in their own language, so again, I had no idea what they were saying.
This film absolutely qualifies as "so bad it's good". The stink of this cheese fest will overpower you, I promise. Overall I'd give this smelly heap a 1 out of 5. It was just....bad. Really bad. And what was with the the terrible dubbing? And this film was totally over narrated, and the voice over was terribly annoying. The acting is terrible, especially the children that serve as Santa's underage international workers. And there are quite a few song and dance numbers that are sure to baffle. And Santa creeped me out.
From the first line he uttered, til the end of the movie. A giant creep fest. And his laugh? It is hands down the creepiest Santa Claus laugh ever...and he does it throughout the entire movie..ahhhhh! I totally wasted 94 minutes of my life! The whole Santa vs the Devil stuff was horrible. Well, that's all I have to say about that. Don't forget to stop by and see what crazy stuff Zane's got up his sleeve. Thanks for stopping by Dead End Horror and I hope you all have a very Merry Christmas!!!
Hello Dead End Horror fans that aspire to be underwear models and antichrist’s. What’s good? Okay, so this post is gonna be a little bit different. There’s a fuckin’ surprise, huh? Anyway, I was gonna do a movie review, but decided against it at the last moment. Why? Let me explain before you piss and moan.
One more thing, this post really has not jack shit to do with anything horror. I know, I know, you’re askin’ what the fuck are you doin’ Zombie Zane? Well allow me to retort. Now I know that you have come to expect horror and gross shit. But not to worry, I got the gross shit covered.
With the holiday season approaching, as you know, we, at DEH have been doing Christmas themed horror movies. Kinda giving you an alternative to the hum-drum old-school Christmas movies. So I thought that it would be a good idea to share with you some nasty versions of Christmas music. So, if you hold these songs sacred, then this is where you should fuck off outta here.
Now for me, I find these songs funny as shit. But then again, I have a really morbid sense of humor. So without further ado, here are some nasty as hell Christmas songs that you can sing around the piano while sipping some egg nog. Enjoy!
HAH! That was awesome! Ok, let's try this one...
Well, that was just aces! I love it! See, see how much fun an alternative Christmas can be! Let's do another one, yes?
YIKES! Have you laughed yet? I hope so. Told ya I had the gross and raunchy shit covered. Are you offended? I hope so! Here's another carol!
I LOVE IT! The first part was my favorite. I made Sasha listen to all these last night. Especially this next one. Check it out....
LOVE ME SOME FARTS! Farts are still funny! Ok, Last one and then I gotta go. Places to see and people to do, but let's enjoy this one before we say good-bye....
LOL! Wasn't this fun? I do love some Christmas music. Anyway, that's all I got for today. Be sure and go and visit Sasha. She's most likely roasting Chet's nuts on an open fire. If it ain't Chet, I'm sure it's Brad...or Steve...or...who knows. But I'm sure she's roasting something.
So until tomorrow, take care, stay a-scared and I am out! Peace peace and between the sheets grease!
Ohh well hey there people that search "humiliated corpse". REALLY?? Ughh! Here at Dead End Horror, we are absolutely fly paper for freaks, and we wouldn't have it any other way. And with that being said, let me tell you a little about today's post. Today I'll be reviewing Child's Play (in lieu of the holiday season). Even though I don't think Child's Play is necessarily a Christmas movie, Zane in all of his wisdom says that it is. So I guess he pretty much relieved himself on my opinion, huh? So let me tell you a little more about it.
Child's Play is an American Horror film that was written by Don Mancini and directed by Tom Holland. The film was met with moderate success, and soon developed a cult following among fans of the horror genre. And here's a little FYI for ye...In 2008 a remake of the film was discussed and slated for a possible 2012 or 2013 release. Before I tell you more about the movie, I gotta say...REALLY? A remake of Child's Play?? Losing your creative ability much?? Douches. I'd like to see some originality and not constant remakes of old movies because you can't think of anything else. Thanks!
In November of 1988 in Chicago, Illinois, while being chased by a Detective, Charles Lee Ray, a serial killer known as "The Lakeshore Strangler" is shot and fatally wounded. He takes cover in a toy store knowing that he cannot escape. He sees boxes of "Good Guy" dolls and uses a voodoo ritual to transfer his soul into one of the dolls. Almost immediately the store is struck by lightning and burns to the ground, although most of it's inventory, including the dolls, survives. Later that morning 6 year old Andy Barclay tells his mother that he wants a Good Guy doll for his birthday. Karen Barclay knows that she can't afford the full price of the doll, so she buys a stolen one from a street peddler. It happens to be the same doll that Charles Lee Ray had earlier transferred his soul into.
Later that night as Andy is playing with his new doll, who has introduced himself as "Chucky", Andy's babysitter Maggie scolds Andy for placing Chucky in front of the TV. When Andy denies doing so, Maggie sends him to his room. Shortly after, Maggie is violently attacked by an unseen force with a hammer and falls out the kitchen window to her death. Later, when Andy is questioned he insists that Chucky told him he was alive and that he killed Maggie. The following day, Andy takes Chucky and visits Eddie, an old accomplice of Charles Lee Ray's, who had betrayed him. Chucky sneaks into Eddie's house and blows out a pilot light on the stove and then turns up the gas. Eddie soon discovers that Chucky is alive and in panicked self-defense, he fires his gun and the house explodes. Because Andy was found close to the scene of the crime, he is taken to a psychiatric ward. His mother Karen quickly discovers that Andy is telling the truth because the batteries included with the doll were never put in.
Later that night, Karen finds Chucky in the apartment and threatens to throw him into the fireplace. He comes alive in her hands, bites her and runs out of the apartment. She then calls Detective Norris, who is investigating Maggie's death. He is hesitant to believe her story, but the homeless man she bought the doll from confirms that he retrieved it from the burnt down toy store where Charles Lee Ray was killed. Later that night, Norris becomes a believer when he is attacked by Chucky in his car and survives only by shooting the doll. Chucky then meets with his voo doo instructor from years past, and asks him why his gunshot wound had bled, when dolls don't have blood.
The instructor informs him that his body is slowly conforming to that of a humans and will soon be entirely flesh and blood, trapping him within it. Chucky demands to know how to stop it, and because the voo doo instructor believes Chucky had been abusing his voo doo knowledge, refuses to help. Chucky tortures the instructor, and eventually he admits that Chucky can escape the dolls body if he transfers his soul into the body of the first person that he revealed his true nature to, and that person is little Andy Barclay....
What a demonic little dolly!!! I definitely don't want one of those for Christmas! No way! Ok, anyway..This movie is old! Damn! Well, actually and technically, I'm a year older than this movie really. Wow right?? I've seen this movie a handful of times, not many. It's a decent enough film, although I didn't think it was scary by any means. It's basically a goofy looking doll going around and killing people while spouting off clever little one liners. That's the charm of the movie I guess. But then again, this movie was made in 1988, so I guess the movie doesn't scare quite as many people today, because it takes alot more to scare people nowadays. I will say that this film is most definitely iconic, and for sure horror at it's finest in the late 80's. One thing I wonder about is why, if Chucky gets killed in the movie, are there sequels? I thought he died?? I don't remember honestly. It's been a hot damn minute since I've seen any of the Child's Play movies.
Overall I'd give Child's Play a 2.5 out of 5. I didn't think it was all that scary, there wasn't alot of blood or gore, only a few murders...mehhh. I heard it was rumored that the Chucky doll was based on a similar doll called "My Buddy". That's sort of creepy, considering the fact that my little brother once had a My Buddy doll. Yikes. Don Mancini, the creator of Child's Play, later revealed that the idea of Chucky was actually based on Cabbage Patch Kids. Weird. This is just a classic 80's horror movie, and I'd recommend it, especially to the younger generations of horror fans. Well, now that I'm done yapping, how about you go see what your good buddy Zombie Zane is up to?? Thanks for stopping by!
Josh Lucas's butt...WHAT WHAT?? Don't ask. You don't wanna know. And a big howdy ho to our fellow horror lovers out there. Sasha Slaughter here with you for our last full week of posting. Don't fret, we'll return soon. Zane will get more into detail about that. But let me go into some detail about the film I'll be telling you about today. I'll be telling you about the movie The Final. It was written by Jason Kabolati and directed by Joey Stewart. And here's something you may or may not know, The Final was actually part of the After Dark Horror Fest in 2010. Awesome! Let me tell you a little more about it.
Dane, an unpopular high school student and his group of outcast friends (Ravi, Emily, and Jack) decide to take revenge into their own hands after being tormented and harassed in school. Their plan includes gruesome forms of torture learned in history class, and some things they've learned from horror movies. The friends plan a Halloween party at an old house that Dane has recently inherited and decide that this is where their revenge will take place. They invite only the kids who have tormented them over the years, and leave out Kurtis, a popular kid that actually talks to them and treats them well.
During the days leading up to the party, the friends go over the details very carefully and make sure everything is in place. Most of the outcast's are shown to have disturbing family lives, driving them further into depression and thoughts of suicide. Dane's parents fight constantly, Ravi's family is cold and distant, Jack's father ignores him completely, and Emily's family tries to change her and doesn't understand her.
Their family lives combined with constantly being tortured by bullies, pushes the outcasts over the edge with their cruel plan for revenge. Dane sends out the invitations, telling the invited guests to wear a costume. Right before the party, they set up camera's and various equipment at the place where the party will be held. The guests start arriving and are greeted at the door with several different alcoholic drinks, all laced a drug, causing the kids to fall unconscious. When the kids wake up, they find themselves chained together, with the outcasts wearing masks and costumes inspired by horror movies.
They are seeking revenge for the years of torment and want to torture their worst enemies. A teen named Miles starts mouthing off and says that it must be some Halloween prank, so Jack applies a cattle gun to his face and his knees to shut him up. This is only the beginning out the gruesome torture that takes place. The outcasts have got plenty more tricks up their sleeves for their fellow classmates and tormentors. And by the end of the night, will the outcasts get what they've been longing for? Will they get their revenge and finally be at peace?
Crazy kids! If you want to know if Jack, Emily, Ravi, and Dane did in fact get their revenge, check out The Final on Netflix or DVD to find out! So, I actually liked this movie. And it's about an actual controversial subject, and that's bullying. Can you imagine all of the people in the world that have thought about doing the things depicted in the movie to their bullies? For real. The first 20 mins or so is kind of slow, almost to the point where you'd want to stop watching. But after the poor set up and plot development, you get to main event, which is the sadistic torture of the bullies.
And the quiet, kid named Jack playing the banjo during some of the more sadistic scenes added an element of creepiness. I do think though the film was more about justice than just sheer torture. The outcasts wanted justice and revenge on those who tortured them, so they tormented their bullies in return. The acting wasn't that great, but I do think that the characters of Dane and Emily were played very well.
I definitely think that this movie is aimed more toward teenagers than anything, but you can be bullied at any age. Overall I'd give The Final a 2.5 out of 5. It was a decent movie with some good torture scenes, but the acting was really awful. And during some of the torture scenes, the actors didn't even look scared. There really wasn't much blood or gore, but it was the sadistic ways that the outcasts tortured their bullies that made it good.
I mean, these kids were effing crazy! Not really sure if I'd recommend this film, it's not really a "must see". I mean, it would be cool to watch on a night when you have nothing to do, and you maybe feel like watching a revenge movie. So now you know how I feel about that, how about you go see what Zane's got going on in his part of the world?? Thanks for stopping by Dead End Horror.
Hello Dead End Horror fans that stay up all night searching for the nastiest shit you can think of online. What’s good? MAN, whatta a fucking weekend here, at DEH. The lovely Sasha Slaughter had her home overtaken by strange, mushroom like people. And me, Zombie Zane, watched my New York Football Giants defeat the Dallas Cowbitches. Tony Romo, what a twat waffle. So needless to say, I’m in a pretty good mood today.
So, I guess this is where I tell you what we got coming out this week. But before I do that, let me give you a little heads up about what’s gonna go down with us over the Christmas break. (If the word Christmas offends you, go fuck yourself. I hope that was offensive to you as well. Fuckin’ people who get all bent out of shape when they hear or see the word, CHRISTMAS. What dumb-fucks those kinda people are.)
Sorry, ranting! I’m in a good mood. Not sure where that came from. Anyway, our schedule over the CHRISTMAS break is gonna go like this. We’ll post shit like normal this week. Monday-Friday. Next week, we’re gonna post on Monday only and that will be it until sometime after January 1st. I know, I know, it’s totally sad and you are all bumming. But hey, Sasha and I do get into the CHRISTMAS spirit too. So there ya go. This week, all new shit, next week, Monday post and then we shut it down for a couple weeks.
But let’s focus on this week for now. I think Sasha is gonna be reviewing a few Christmas horror movies, “Childs Play” and something she found form like the 1950's. I’m pretty geeked about that. So be sure and check back this week. Like everyday. Multiple times if you please.
As far as me, I’m gonna give you 5 more holiday horror movies you can watch for a more alternative holiday. I’m also gonna review something, not sure what yet but you can bet your fucking ass’ that’s it’s gonna be damn good. After all, I am a professional.
So, there ya have it. A look at the week ahead here at DEH. So be sure and visit us as often as you like. The more the better. You may just catch Sasha doing something freaky-deaky with the fat man in the red suit. So until tomorrow, take care, stay a-scared, and I am out! Peace peace and Rudolph grease!
Hello Dead End Horror fans that eat Smashburgers late at night while listening to renditions of ‘Santa Claus is Coming to Town.’ Happy Holidays, slimes. So, what do you wanna talk about today? I’m having a fuck of a time trying to think about what to write about. Fucking writer’s block. Maybe I need a drink...Gimmie a sec would ya?
Ok, back on target. I still haven’t a clue what I’m gonna write about, but at least now I feel a bit looser. One or ten more of these and I may be typing the rest of this naked. YIKES! Now that’s what I call fucking horror!
So, I think what I’m gonna do is give you a list of 10 holiday horror movies you can watch. I mean I was gonna do a review on, “The Children” which is a kick-ass holiday horror movie, but fuck it. I’ll do that one next week. One more quick thing, I said 10 movies, but this post will have 5. I’m gonna split it into two different posts. Why? Not sure. Because I can I guess. But 5 is better than none. And besides, I don’t wanna overload you with too much info all at once. That and I damn sure don’t wanna type too much info all at once. So let’s cut out the foreplay and get to the list.
Sorry, one more thing of note. These movies are like in no particular order. Like I didn’t rank them or anything. But I will give you my score at the end of each film. Cool? Cool. Okay, now we’ll get to the list.....
5. “Silent Night, Bloody Night” (1974)An oldie but a goody. What’s not to like about an escaped maniacal killer stalking people trying to sell an old mansion? Nothing! This film is old but it does have that grainy, 1970's quality to it so it kinda rocks on that level. A solid 2.25 out of 5 for me.
4. “Child’s Play” (1988)Directed by Tom Holland, this little film has inspired several sequels and has developed a cult following over the years. Love this film! The other one’s not so much, but this one, fuck yeah! And YES! It is a Christmas horror movie. It takes place over Christmas. So it counts! BOO! I give Chucky a 4 out of 5.
3. “Gremlins” (1984) I talked about this film earlier in the week. So I won’t say much here about it. All I can tell you is that this is a great film and it never gets old. I totally own this motherfucker and you should too. Ask Santa for it if you don’t have a copy. “Gremlins” 5 out of 5!
2. “Santa Claws” (1996)If you like low budget horror and a ton of tits and ass, then this is the perfect holiday horror movie for you. It was written and directed by James Russo (co-writer of Night of the Living Dead) in case you wanted to know. And in case you didn’t. Anyway, great film, entertaining, and silly as hell. I give it a 3.75. What can I say? I liked it.
1. “Night Train Murders” (1975)Ok, now this thing is very similar to ‘Last House on the Left.’ But in my opinion, it’s way more brutal. It’s about a couple of college girls headed home for the Christmas holiday. Anyway, they get raped and brutalized while on the train. So eventually the culprits that did the raping meet one of the girl’s dad and well...you can guess. Very brutal, very different and very not family friendly. A 3.5 out of 5 for this one.
And there you have it. 5 kick ass holiday horror movies for your viewing enjoyment. So deck the halls and all that other shit. Hope you watch some of these over the weekend. You’ll enjoy them. Trust me, I’m a professional.
Until next time, take care, stay a-scared, and I am out! Peace peace and elf jizzum grease.
Heya Dead End Horror fans that wish people Merry Christmas and give them the finger when their backs are turned. What’s good, slimes? Anyway, just another Wednesday here at DEH so that means it’s time for me to hang out with you for a bit. Aren’t you just fucking elated? I know I am.
So, what shall we talk about for today’s post...thinking...thinking...still thinking...having a drink and thinking...scratching my nuts and having a drink and thinking...I GOT IT! How about I tell you about a good holiday horror movie? I mean, the traditional Christmas movies aren’t for everyone, ya know. So, let’s cut out this foreplay and let me tell you about one of my all time favorite holiday horror movies. I’m talking about, “Gremlins.”
I know, I know, it ain’t exactly horror. And it ain’t the normal bloody and nudity filled shit that we offer here, but fuck it. It’s my blog. But whatever. No, for real, “Gremlins” is a great movie to watch over the holidays. I mean it does take place over Christmas after all.
So, as you may know (or not know) “Gremlins” is a 1984 American horror/comedy film. Duh. Anyway, it was directed by Joe Dante (remember him from Masters of Horror) and it was also produced by Steven Spielberg. It was released in June of ‘84 and it runs just about 100 minutes. Not on Netflix instant watch, but you can do the whole DVD thing if you are so inclined.
One more nugget, this film, along with, ‘Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom,’ was one of the reasons that the MPAA decided to create the whole PG-13 thing. “Gremlins” was given a PG rating, but some people thought that some of the content was too harsh and the film needed an R. R...what the fuck ever. I mean really.
I’m sure if you’re still reading this you already know the plot. If you don’t know the plot, omigod hang yourself at once because you are a fucking loser. YIKES! Did I just type that? That was a tad harsh. Sorry. I take it back. But if you wanna know the plot, just go watch it. You’ll love it.
As far as what I think about this film, I love it! Love it! SO many memorable scenes and quotes from this thing. Like I may can quote this film verbatim. One of my favorite scenes is the Deagle scene. Here, take a look...
AWESOME! Like I could carry on and on about my favorite scenes but I won’t. But check out this one...
One more and I’ll stop. Remember when they’re all drunk at the bar and that one gremlin is dressed in the trench coat? Then he totally flashes Phoebe Cates. Hijinks abound!
Anyway, I’ll stop there. But for real, if you haven’t seen this movie, go. Go and watch it. In fact, that’s exactly what I’m gonna do. I haven’t seen it yet this year and tonight is a great night for it. Before you go, bop on over and see what Sasha’s doing. She may be rocking out in her Christmas themed GP’s and drinking egg nog.
Until we meet again take care, stay a-scared and I am out. Peace peace and microwaved gremlin grease! C-ya on the flip side motherfucker.
Well hi there creepy blog stalkers! Are you still searching for gross stuff? Awesome! Now before I get to today's post, I have to say that peppermint mocha coffee creamer is the bees knees. I know! Nothing to do with horror, but I can say what I want! Half my blog, half my rules. Soooo, today I'll be telling you ass clowns (And I totally mean that in the nicest way possible) about a little movie called Kill Theory.
I've seen the movie on Syfy, so you know they edit the shit out of that. So I decided to catch it on Netflix. Not a whole lot of difference between the two besides some cussing and a brief shot of tiny tata's. Kill Theory was written by Kelly Palmer and directed by Chris Moore. And here's a little more info for you, Kill Theory was a part of After Dark Films Horror Fest: 8 Films To Die For. Yay! So let me tell you a little more about it.
After a hiking trip with three best friends goes awry, Walter is forced to make the decision to kill his friends to save himself, or die with them. He ultimately decides to cut the rope they were hanging on, and watches his three best friends fall to their deaths. Walter is convicted on three counts of second degree murder and spends three years in a state mental hospital. The day has come when Walter finishes his three year sentence and is being released by his doctor. He is talking to his psychiatrist Dr. Karl Truftin when he tells Walter that he must come back for after care for one year. The Dr. points out that Walter did after all, kill his friends, and reminds Walter that he had said that we all have the potential to be a killer. Walter agrees to come to treatment as scheduled and signs the paper and is set free.
Meanwhile a group of friends (Amber, Brent, Freddy, Jennifer, Michael, Nicole, Carlos, and Alex) are vacationing together one last time before going off to the college in the fall. They are staying at Brent's fathers vacation home in a secluded wooded area. Walter, who's mind is warped from the entire experience, and who is still bitter about the trial, ventures to the remote lakeside home and finds the teenagers partying into the night. He then decides to test his twisted theory on them.
While in the kitchen, Nicole is grabbed from behind and kidnapped. Shortly after she is pushed through the window into Freddy's bed. Everyone wakes up and realizes that Nicole's throat had been slit and the letters T.V. were carved into her stomach. Brent tuns on the TV and a man (The one who was recently released from the psych ward) comes onto the screen. The sadistic sociopath tells them that they all have the potential to be killers. He then tells them that they have until 6 a.m. and if more than one of them is still alive, he will kill everyone that remains. If anyone wants to stay alive, they have to kill all others that stand in their way, and be the last one standing when it's over.
What a freak!! It's actually kind of a trippy movie though. It raises the question, what would you in this situation? Would you kill your best friends in order to survive? Or would you let them kill you so they could survive?? That's too deep for me to ponder at the moment...and it's kinda morbid. I haven't had enough liquor to even think about it. This movie was actually pretty decent. The acting was good, and the death scenes were pretty good too. There was a limb severing, a dude getting a kitchen skewer through his eye, a dude getting beaten to death by a shovel...ughh I won't tell you anymore, but this movie had it's fair share of blood and gore. It was interesting watching people that were formerly friends and lovers plot to kill one another.
And the plot twist at the end was totally unexpected. Didn't even see it coming! Overall I'd give Kill Theory a 3 out of 5. I could have done without the whiny guy that cried, screamed and freaked out during almost the whole movie. Quit being a bitch huh? That really got on my nerves. I was actually kinda glad when he got a skewer through the eye and out the back of his head. The film did kind of remind me of the Saw series in a way, but not too much.
And it wasn't at all surprising that cellphones didn't work in the area, the power went out, and oh hey, the phone lines were cut. SHOCKER! But I would recommend this film, maybe during a stormy night or when you want to see some quality gore. And hey, since you're here, stop and by and see what Zane's got going on. Thanks for stopping by Dead End Horror.
Hey there stranger dangers that search for "masturbate lip" and "cum dead body". FREAKS! What is wrong with you weirdos? Are Zane and I rubbing off on you? Did that sound a little perverted to you? Ok. Great. Anyway! It's that time again, time for us to blow your minds with how damn awesome we are. I've decided to usurp Zane and do my own thing, so this week, I probably won't be reviewing The Nightmare Before Christmas. Take that boss! =)
So today I'll be sprinkling in another holiday horror film. I'll be telling you about Black Christmas (The one from 2006, not 1974). Black Christmas was written and directed by Glen Morgan. It's an American Slasher film and a remake of the 1974 horror film of the same name. When the date was set for Black Christmas to come out on December 25, 2006, there were plenty of religious groups protesting the release due to the films graphic content in a holiday setting. Despite backlash from various religious organizations, the film did open on Christmas day. So let me tell you more about it.
Billy Lenz was born with a with a rare medical condition that turned his skin yellow, and because of this he is constantly abused by his mother, Mrs. Lenz. When Mrs. Lenz falls in love with another man, she decides to kill her husband and bury him in the crawlspace under her home. Billy witnesses his mother murdering his father and she locks him in the attic to keep him quiet. Shortly after, Billy's mother marries the man that she had fallen in love with and tries to conceive a child with him.
She soon realizes that the man is impotent, so she goes to the attic and rapes her son Billy. Nine months later, Agnes is born and is dearly loved by her new family. One Christmas Eve, Billy escapes and disfigures Agnes before brutally murdering his mother and her husband. He proceeds to make cookies out of his mother's flesh before getting caught and taken to a mental institution.
Some time later, on Christmas Eve, Billy escapes the mental institution after killing a security guard and butchering a man in a Santa Claus costume, and uses the costume as a disguise to escape. Soon after, at a nearby sorority house called Delta Alpha Kappa, two girls are murdered in the home without the others noticing. The rest of the girls receive a phone call from a man, rambling on and not making sense. One of the girls named Lauren taunts the caller and he then threatens to kill them.
And as promised by the strange caller, the girls are getting murdered one by one. Heather and Mrs. Mac try to go for help, but are soon killed shortly after stepping out of the car when it didn't start. The killer finds the last two survivors and introduces himself as Agnes, and then shows them all of the murdered girls' dead bodies on a Christmas tree. Billy makes his way into the attic and he and Agnes close in on the girls, and accidentally start a fire. The two girls escape and leave Agnes and Billy to burn. Little do they know, it wouldn't be the last they see of Agnes and Billy Lenz.
Ohhh noooo!!! If you want to know what kind of shenanigans Billy and Agnes get into, hop on over to Netflix and check out Black Christmas. I liked the movie. It was pretty decent. The acting was good, and the gore was awesome!! There was a good bit of blood and the kill scenes were great. I think my favorite part was when little Billy was making cookies out of his mom flesh. GROSS!!
Gross but genius. And as far as the religious groups getting their granny panties in a wad, GET OVER IT! Ughh!! Big deal, some violence, death, and gore in a holiday related film. Blahh. Lighten up and open your mind a tad, huh?? Unfortunately, the film did get some pretty negative reviews. Most people agreed that it was just a gratuitous remake of the 1974 version and it was too pumped with gore and blood, and no creativity. What the hell is wrong with blood and gore?
I do agree though, movies do have to have at least some level of creativity to make them interesting. Overall I'd give Black Christmas a 3 out of 5. It was a decent film with some great gore. I will say that it shouldn't matter is the remake isn't exactly like the original. The original still is and always will be there.
It makes more sense to judge a remake on it's own merits, right? Sure! I'd recommend watching Black Christmas during the holidays...especially if you're feeling festive and in the mood for some gore. Well, that's all there is and there ain't no more. Since you're here, you can go and check out what Zane's been up to. I think it involves driving things up his bum!
Hello Dead End Horror fans that run around aimlessly in a driving rain storm while singing Christmas tunes. What’s good? Ugh! Another looooong weekend here at DEH.(Dead End Horror) Sasha and I got mad wasted with a one-legged werewolf and my New York Football Giants got reamed in the ass for a fourth straight week. BUTT FUCK! Whatever.
Anyway, we got some good shit for ya this week. Sasha will be talking about the movie, “The Nightmare Before Christmas.” I love that movie! ‘...Something’s up with Jack, something’s up with Jack...’ LOVE IT! One of my favorite holiday movies.
Speaking of the holidays, is it me or are most of the Christmas commercials this year really, really gay? I mean, Jesus H! What happened to the good ones? Like the Coca-Cola polar bears? Or the Budweiser horses? I mean this shit they’re rolling out now sucks my ball-sac. Fucking Lexus commercials, (ya know, the ones that show the new car with the big bow) Fuck off. So lame.
And what about the Best Buy commercial? Ya know the ones with the ‘Game on, Santa’ slogan. Why buy all that shit if Santa’s gonna come anyway. Let the big guy do it. Stupid, smug bitches. If I were Santa and some bitch acted that way toward me, I’d take her shit back and then I’d slap the bitch. Talking about, ‘Oh, these are full. No room for you. Maybe you can fill his.’ She says as she points to the dog with the small stocking in his mouth. You’ve seen that one, right? Stupid cunt.
Wow, I went off on a rant. Sorry. Still in a pissy mood due to my Giants losing today. Let’s get back to what’s on tap for the week here. Like I said, Sasha will be talking about ‘Nightmare Before Christmas’ and she’ll also be throwing in some random shit as well.
Me, I’m gonna talk about the movie, “Gremlins.” One more of my favorite holiday horror films. Although it’s not really horror, but whatever. It makes the list anyway. I may also throw down a top ten list or something. And then again, I may just get lazy and hit the archives and re publish some more of our old shit. Who knows. But as you can guess, it’s gonna be good. I mean, isn’t it always?
Ok, sheep. I’m out for now. Be sure and check back throughout week. We need all the hits we can get. So until then, take care, stay a-scared and I am out. Peace peace and left over hair gel grease.
How's it going creeps?? Sasha Slaughter here with you for the final time this week, and I've decided to go with the "series girl" thing again. That's right, today I'll be telling you a little about Masters of Horror season 2 episode 1: The Damned Thing...ooooh! It was written by Richard Christian Matheson and directed by none other than Tobe Hooper. The Damned Thing was inspired by Ambrose Bierce's classic short-story of the same title. So let me tell you a little more about it.
The Damned Thing is an apocalyptic story of a monstrous force that devastates Sheriff Kevin Reddle's family and his small town of Cloverdale. As a child back in 1981, Kevin witnessed his father going insane and shooting his mother, before almost being killed himself. But before his father can kill him, Kevin watches in horror as he is disemboweled by an invisible force. Before Kevin's father is killed, he says aloud that the "damned thing" has found him.
Fast forward twenty-four years later to the small town of Cloverdale. Kevin is the town sheriff living in his childhood home where his mother was slaughtered. Due to extreme paranoia, Kevin has mounted surveillance and video camera's throughout the house and on the property. Kevin's wife Dina, decided to leave Kevin and take their young son Mikey with them because of the mental strain his paranoia causes. With the weather starting to turn violent, and people not feeling well, Kevin fears that the thing that killed his father is on it's way to kill him too. The normally peaceful town of Cloverdale quickly turns violent as people being going insane and killing themselves, and one another.
Kevin kept a "dream box" of his fathers and one night decides to pick the lock. Upon opening it he finds nothing, but then realizes there is something under the lid. He opens the lid and finds articles about a town named Sturgis that was plagued by the same madness after opening an oil well that had quickly dried up. Many of the citizens killed each other, with the total body count reaching 208, and Kevin's parents were among those who survived and fled the city.
Madness begins to sweep over the sleepy town of Cloverdale and even Kevin's peaceful wife Dina is not immune. He walks into her and her son's home shortly before Dina tries to kill their son. He stops her and she snaps out of it. They decide to go back to Kevin's home to be safe. Upon arrival, Kevin realizes that some of the towns people have taken shelter in his home because they are afraid of the mayhem that is happening outside. He locks them in the basement and tells them it's the safest place for them to be. Dina and Mikey hide upstairs while Kevin figures out what to do. But soon enough, Kevin begins to succumb to the evil that has been searching for him all these years.
Oooh supernatural creep! What ever could be destroying the town of Cloverdale? Well if you really wanna know, check out Masters of Horror: The Damned Thing. Now, lend me your ear and I'll tell you what I thought about it. The beginning scene was amazing. I'm talking a gory death scene within the first four minutes. And by gory I mean GORY! The dude shot his wife in the chest and then in the stomach...her intestines came out and there was guts...It was awesome! And from there, it kind of slowed down a little. It feels like the story was almost rushed a little to make the 60 minute time slot, and it didn't really explain a whole lot. Like, there was something about oil wells and drilling....what??? I didn't get it!
And this really bizarre scene with this guy telling himself a dirty joke before killing himself with a....Ohh I won't give it away, but it didn't really seem like it belonged in the episode. I will say though that there were a good bit of killing scenes and a damn good amount of blood and gore. I mean, the guy that was pretty much getting disemboweled at the beginning?? All I can say is GROSS!!! ahhh! And the priest character really got on my nerves. He was so mean and in every one's business, and was really condescending to people. I thought priests were supposed to be all Godly and nice?? Well this one was an asshole. And a totally unbelievable one at that.
Ok, and the deputy and his stupid cartoon drawings?? What was that?? It was a total waste of time if you ask me. They could have spent the time explaining the story and developing it. Instead they wasted it on deputy dumb ass and his cartoon rat. Suck it. And another thing, like I said, the first scene was amazing and I was excited that maybe the rest of the episode would be just as explosive. I was wrong. Some of the story and scenes were kind of inconsistent. Overall I'd give The Damned Thing a 2.5 out of 5. If they would have taken more time to explain things and develop the plot, it could have been better.
The only reason I gave it a 2.5 was the death scenes and the copious amounts of blood and gore. Ohh and lastly, my one final complaint...When you finally get a glimpse of the "Damned Thing" prepare for disappointment. They build you up and make you think "Oh man, this is gonna be scary". I think not. It looked like a giant CGI cartoon that made dinosaur noises. F that noise. Well now, since I'm done yammering, go on and see what Zane's up to! Thanks for stopping by.
