ZOMBIE ZANE'S BIG HEADED MONSTER AND THE HAUNTED PUSSY

HEY NOW! Zombie Zane coming to ya live and direct from the seven six one oh seven. Another week, another horror topic. For this week here at DEAD END HORROR, the talented and busty Miss Sasha Slaughter and I are gonna be talking the best of the worst in the world of horror. What I mean by that is simple. Ever seen one of those shitty B-movie type deals that was just so shitty that it was good? Sure you have. We all have. A couple that come to mind are, "ZOMBIE STRIPPERS," "HUMANOIDS FROM THE DEEP" also fits the bill. Umm, you can also throw in any of the "RE-ANIMATORS" or even "EVIL DEAD" for that matter. Okay, so you get the idea, yes? So there’s our subject for the week.

Now then, seeing how we’re doing the best of the worst, I thought it would be a GREAT idea to give you guys a list of some best/worst horror movie titles ever. And let me tell ya, some of these are just down right funny as shit! I had a ball going through and compiling my list. So how about we cut the foreplay and get to
the good stuff, yes. I now proudly give you...

ZOMBIE ZANE’S BEST OF THE WORST HORROR MOVIE TITLES
　
10. THE HAUNTED PUSSY (1976) Better than the smelly pussy I guess.

9. HORROR HOTLINE...BIG HEAD MONSTER (2001) Call 1-900-Zombie Zane...

8. ZOOM UP: RAPE SITE (1979) Uh could I get some fries with my victim please?

7. THE COMA-BRUTAL DUEL (1999) Ok, what the fuck does that mean?

6. BLIND BEAST VS. DWARF (2001) I got my money on the knee sniffer. It could be on PPV!

5. LOVE WANGA(1936) No wanga for me! I’d rather have ‘The Haunted Pussy.’ Or even the smelly one for that matter. Was that too gross??

4. THE BEAST THAT MOLESTED WOMEN (1965) Ahh. A film about my uncle! How sweet.

3. THE GHOST OF THE POT COMES TO LIFE (1956) A ghost that’s 420 friendly! Puff-puff-give Casper. Puff-puff-give!

2. THE ENEMA KILLER (1977) Death by ass-water!! I can think of many unpleasant ways to go, but this may top the list...

1. THE UNTOLD STORY: HUMAN MEAT ROAST PORK BUNS (1993) After viewing this film, you awake with a bloody asshole and a 5$ bill taped to your forehead. OUCH!!

Well, there ya go. The best/worst horror movie titles ever. Hope you guys had as much fun reading these as I did. Pretty funny huh? And by the way, be sure and check out Sasha’s stuff. She’s reviewing the film ‘NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD’ and she’s also reviewing episode two in the Masters of Horror series so ya wanna fo’ sho’ peep it out. So, until next time, take care, stay a-scared and I am out.

They're coming to get you Barbra by Sasha Slaughter

This is yours truly Sasha Slaughter here and this week at Dead End Horror it's all about the best of the worst!! We've all seen a movie that was so bad that it was good, and this week we'll be discussing horror movies that are so disgustingly bad that they were awesomely good. I'll be reviewing Night of the Living Dead (which is definitley so bad it's good). Now before you get your underpants in a bunch, I'm not banging on zombie flicks. I looove me some zombies (They are my fave afterall). So sit back, relax && enjoy. =)

Night of the Living Dead is a low budget horror movie that was relased in 1968. It was written and directed by the great George A. Romero. Barbra (Judith O'dea) finds herself trapped in a farmhouse with a group of survivors as they try to protect themselves from hordes of flesh eating zombies. Barbra and her brother Johnny are in the cemetary visiting their fathers grave when Johnny starts teasing her and trying to scare her (They're coming to get you Barbra). They come across a man walking towards them very slowly, looking disheveled and like he's in a trance. Johnny runs past him while Barbra walks slowly and the man reaches out and grabs her. Johnny comes to her aid and tries to fight off the man. Johnny gets thrown to the ground and hits his head off of a grave stone and dies. Barbra runs away and finds a farmhouse in the woods. She runs inside while more zombies swarm the house.

There inside the house she meets Ben, and he tells her that he came from a diner that was surrounded by people that are like the ones outside of the farmhouse. By this time Barbra is totally out of it, acting strangely and insisting that her brother is still alive and they need to go find him. They trade a few slaps and Barbra passes out. Ben finds out that zombies are afraid of fire so he sets a few things on fire outside of the house to keep the zombies away. When Barbra wakes, two men (Mr. Cooper and Tom) emerge from the basement. They reveal they've been down there the whole time but were afraid to come up. Mr. Cooper tells Ben that he has a wife and a sick child in the basement and insists that they all go down there so they're safe.

Ben and the others decide to stay upstairs. They find a tv and watch the news to find out whats happening. They discover that the dead are coming back to life and feeding on human flesh and the only way to kill them is to shoot them in the head or burn them. There is a theory that radiation from a probe from NASA is causing the mutation and making people come back from the dead. They make a plan to try and escape by having Mr.Cooper throw malotov cocktails from the window to distract the zombies. Ben, Tom, and Judy (Tom's girlfriend) take the truck that Ben stole and go to the gas pump out back. They make it there but while Tom is trying to put gas in, he sprays it on the truck and the torch Ben had catches the truck on fire and it blows up with Tom and Judy in it. Zombies find the truck and start eating the remains of Tom and Judy. Ben makes it back to the house and boards up the doors and windows.

Ben finds out that Mr. and Mrs. Coopers daughter got bitten by a zombie and is worried that she may be carrying a disease. Mr. Coopers spazzes out and takes the gun while Ben is boarding up windows. They wrestle and Ben gets the gun back and shoots Mr. Cooper in the side. Finally Barbra snaps out of her haze and helps try to board up the windows but the zombies get in and she sees her brother Johnny. She thinks he's alive and tries to hug him but he takes her outside to the rest of the zombies (Whos hungry??) Cooper stumbles into the basement to check on his daughter but dies from the gunshot wound.

Mrs. Cooper goes into the basement to find her daughter eating the arm of her husband. Her daughter walks towards and her Mrs. Cooper falls down (typical) and her daughter stabs her with a garden tool (major over kill of mommy). The little girl then comes upstairs and tries to attack Ben, he barracades himself in the basment with the dead bodies of Mr. and Mrs. Cooper. Mr. Cooper comes back to life first and Ben shoots him in the head. Mrs. Cooper comes back seconds later he shoots her also. There are citizens and policemen walking around killing and burning the zombies. They come across the farmhouse and Ben hears them outside. He comes upstairs and looks out the window. They spot something in the window and shoot Ben in the head (Aint life a bitch?)

So this movie is really kinda cheese ballish. The acting is sometimes a little too dramatic and not really believable. Barbra got on my nerves because she kept spacing out and spazzing and grabbing at her hands and face throughout most of the movie..blahh! Some of the scenes where the zombies are getting killed aren't that good, but it did come out in 1968 soo...we've come a long way since then. There was a good amount of dead bodies, mostly zombies and a few unfortunate humans. There wasn't much blood, though there was a good bit when Helen Cooper got offed by her flesh eating daughter. There was a bit of nakedness, there was a butt shot of a naked lady zombie which actually kind of surprised me a little. I didn't remember that part.

But overall, I'd give this movie a 3 outta 5, you have to love the classic zombie movies. And I think I'd give it a 4 out of 5 on the it's so good it's bad scale. This is actually one of my favorite zombie movies. It's really old school but I love it. So thats that faithful readers. Don't forget to check out Zombie Zanes list of movie titles that are so bad they're good && his 7 nights of the best of the worst horror movies. And as always, check back next week for all new stuff at Dead End Horror.

Bubble bubble toil and trouble by Sasha Slaughter

Heyyyy! Sasha Slaughter here coming to you from the one six six five six && today I'll be reviewing the Masters of Horror episode 2: Dreams in the Witch House. It was directed by Stuart Gordon and was adapted from an H.P. Lovecraft short story. Enjoy!!

Walter Gilman, a stressed out college student working on his graduate thesis is searching for a nice, quiet place to live so he can study. He comes across a room for rent sign at an old, dilapidated house. He gets the room and settles in and begins his theisis when things start getting strange. While studying he hears scratching noises in the walls in his room. He dismisses them and keeps studying. He runs into the creepy old guy in apartment two who asks him if he has seen the rat with the human face yet and Walter ignores him. His next door neighbor Frankie also has a rat in her room and he helps her take care of it by boarding up the hole in the wall.

While studying in bed one night, there are more scratching sounds and purple lights coming from behind the wall in his room. A rat with a human face (That is one fugly rat by the way...ugh!) tells Walter that "she" is coming for him, but Walter dismisses this also and believes it's a dream. Walter has another run in with the creepy guy when he hears banging noises and yelling coming from downstairs. He goes to the old guys apartment and finds him praying and banging his head on a chair (Um...ouch!). The old man tells Walter that there is a witch hunting him and that the house is evil. He reveals that he used to live in the room that Walter lives in now and that the witch made him do horrible things. Walter doesn't believe him and ignores the old man.

Frankie asks Walter to watch her son Danny while she goes for a job interview, and while watching Danny and grading papers, Walter falls asleep and the purple lights appear in Frankies apartment. Someone in a robe appears and Walter wakes up. The woman in the robe stands infront of Walter and pulls her robe apart and is naked underneath (Yes, that means full frontal nudity ladies and gents). The woman in the robe takes the form of Frankie and Walter stands up and takes her to the bed and they start kissing while the woman is scratching a pentagram into Walters back. He looks at the woman and she turns into an old hag with grey hair, yellow crooked teeth and symbols carved into her skin and she starts to laugh. Walter wakes up screaming in his apartment while the baby is alone in Frankies apartment. He tries to open the door but it's locked, Frankie comes home and finds Walter outside of the door, trying to get in. He explains that he'd never leave Danny alone and that maybe he's sleep walking.

He borrows flour from Frankie and sprinkles it around his bed to see if he is infact sleep walking in the middle of the night. He hears scratching noises again and light scurrying and looks down at the flour to discover tiny animal footprints. He pulls up the cover and looks under the bed when a hand comes out from underneath the bed and drags him under. He appears in a dark room with the witch and that fugly little rat thing. His hand is over a book and the witch and the rat are telling him to sign. The rat crawls down Walters arm and bites him, causing him to bleed profusely all over the blank book infront of him. He wakes up and he's in the library with a book infront of him filled with demonic drawings and sayings. The librarian comes over and asks how he got into a restricted area and freaks out when she realizes that Walter had the necronomicon infront of him. (Random fun fact, the necronomicon is something HP Lovecraft often used in his stories. True story).

Walter goes home and tells Frankie that the witch and the fugly rat want him to to kill Danny for some sort of sacrificing ritual. Frankie freaks out and tells him to leave her alone. He talks to the old guy who tells Walter that his soul is in peril. He finds out that he was marked by witch and his soul will belong to her. He realizes that the witch goes back and forth between different dimensions to kill people. The creepy old guy tells Walter that he once worked for the witch and admitted to killing children for her because she made him do it. Walter goes to his room and takes a hammer and smashes a whole in his wall. He climbs into the wall and finds a room that the witch uses for rituals. He finds Frankie's son Danny in a cage and a knife on a table. The witch appears and hands Walter the knife so he can kill the baby. He struggles with the knife but the witch is making him want to kill Danny. After a bit of a struggle, he stops himself from hurting Danny and throws the knife on the floor.

The witch stabs him in the arm and shoulder and then Walter pushes his fingers into her eye sockets and strangles her. He takes Danny and goes back to his room. He puts Danny on the bed so he can rest when the rat appears and starts biting the babies neck. The old creepy guy starts praying and chanting and banging his head on a chair (Weird much?). Frankie is trying to get in Walters room when the police break down the door and find Walter on the floor, with Danny's lifeless body in his lap, and Walter is crying and covered in blood. They send him to the psych ward and he tries to explain to the doctor about the witch and the rat. He tells the doctors that he didn't kill Danny, but the fugly rat did.

They decide that Walter is a paranoid-schizophrenic and they want him locked up for life. Just then the CSI come to the hospital and tell the doctors that they found over 70 bodies in the wall and they range anywhere from 30-300 years old. They also said that the DNA on the bodies doesn't match Walters and that there were animal bites on Walters neck. The rat came into the psych ward and attacked Walter, biting his side. At the same time this was happening, the old guy from apartment 2 was taking down all of his religious stuff, and then he hung himself. The nurses came into Walters room to discover him bleeding, they lifted up his shirt and the rat was on his side, biting him. The rat ran out of the room and Walter bled to death.

This was an ok little episode thinger. It took a while for it to get going. I was a little bored at the beginning. I wasn't too wowed though. I've seen better, I've seen worse. The acting was pretty good, there wasn't much blood, maybe just 2 or 3 scenes that actually showed some. There was 1 death scene, when he was in the psych ward, the death of the baby was just sort of implied and idk..does the suicide of the old guy count?? Nahhh. There was a little nudity, just 1 full frontal shot (Don't get too excited). The plot was ok. I'd say overall I'd give this a 2.5 out of 5. It wasn't bad for only being 55 mins long. I would have liked to have seen more blood and stuff, but it was still decent. Don't forget to check out Zombie Zanes list of bad horror movie titles and his 7 nights of so bad they're good horror movies. And yeah yeah, you know what I'll say next, check back next week. =)

It's all about survival bitches by Sasha Slaughter

Hey hey hey, Sasha Slaughter here! How about ya'll sit back and relax while I blow your minds with my review of episode 1 of The Masters of Horror: Incident on and off a mountain road.

Incident came out in 2005 and was written and directed by Don Coscarelli (Phantasm anyone??). It was adapted from a short story by cult horror writer Joe R. Landsdale. The movie is about Ellen (played by Bree Turner) who is forced to use the survival skills her husband Bruce (played by Ethan Embry) forced her to learn when her car goes off the road and is being chased by Moonface (played by John De Santis). She first encounters Moonface while she is following a blood trail that leads to the edge of the road and down a hill. There she sees Moonface dragging a woman up over the hill, he sees Ellen and starts to chase after her.

Throughout the movie Ellen has flashbacks of the things that Bruce taught her, which helps her always stay a step ahead of Moonface. She uses two sticks and a pair of scissors as a weapon to slow Moonface down. As she tries to get away, the flashbacks become more frequent, as she remembers the way her husband treated her and the things her forced her to do, causing her to try like hell to get away alive. After awhile Moonface realizes that Ellen is setting up traps and is intrigued by her. After her realizes what she's doing, he decides not to kill her, but he decides to take her to his basement and keep her.

She wakes up and his handcuffed to a pole in his basement. Thats where she meets the creepy old guy named Buddy (played by Angus Scrimm). While talking to the creepy old guy(I like candy, do you have candy??) Ellen learns that Moonface removes the eyes of all of his victims, but is told that she's lucky because Moonface hadn't done that to her. Just then, Moonface comes into the basement and puts a woman on the table and begins to take out her eyes with a machine and then ties her to a cross and takes her upstairs. Ellen freaks out and tries to think of away to escape when Buddy (I like songs! Do you want to sing a song??) hints that a way out might be over her shoulder, referring to the nail file stuck in her shoulder from a trap that hit her.

She picks the lock of the handcuffs but the creepy old guy gets out of his wheelchair and starts screaming that Ellen is loose, and Moonface comes down the steps. She knocks out moonface and creepy old guy but Moonface gets up and tries to choke her but she stabs him with her nail file. He runs after her and she stabs him in the chest with his knife and kicks him out the window. He's hanging out the window and is dangling over a waterfall when the curtain he's hanging onto rips and he falls into the water. She gets out of the house and walks back to her and opens the trunk of her car, where her dead husband is laying (Crazy bitch!). She starts having flashbacks of the night she told him she was leaving him. He started hitting her and threw her into the wall and then raped her.

When he was done raping her she took the belt that he tied her hands together with and wrapped it around her wrists and strangled him with it. She snaps back to reality and drags her husbands lifeless body back to Moonfaces house and places him on the table and proceeds to use the machine to take out his eyes. Before leaving the house she shoots Buddy in the head and then takes the body of Bruce and puts it with the rest of the bodies in the yard and then drives away.

WOW right??? When I watched this I definitley did not expect that ending! It was pretty good for only being an hour long. The acting was good and Moonface was uber creepy! There was an ok amount of blood and no nudity, but this movie definitley didn't need that to be good. The plot was also good too. Overall I'd give this a 3.5 out of 5. I was impressed with it for sure. Don't forget to read Zombie Zanes articles and you know what I'll say next, check back next week, we definitley appreciate you stopping by!

PUT THAT IN YO SLIT BITCH!! By: Zombie Zane

AWWWW YEAAAAAH!! Zombie Zane back with you once again doing what I do from the seven six one oh seven. Hey, I liked that opening! Anyway, thanks for stopping by and checking out Dead End Horror, really appreciate it. So this week was kinda a mixed bag here at DEH, Sasha wrote an article about the black eyed children, and she’s also reviewing episode one of the Masters of Horror series so go by and check out her stuff. Me? Well, in this here article I’m a-gonna be talking to you about this movie I watched this past week. Ever seen the film ‘THE SLIT MOUTHED WOMAN?’ Is that a no? No problem. Take a sec and let me tell you about it.

"THE SLIT MOUTHED WOMAN" is a 2005 Asian-Invasion horror film directed by Takaaki Haschiguchi and produced by Mr. Myagi. (JK on the Myagi) It runs just over 60mins and is available now on Netflix instant watch. Now that you know some of the particulars, wanna hear about the plot?

Ok, so basically this film is kinda like a Grudge/Ring kinda deal. What I mean by that is it’s one of those angry ghost seeks revenge movies. Now don’t shit on it just yet. I know that plot line has been done ad nauseum, but give it shot. And yes, it’s also subtitled so ya gotta read. Again, don’t shit on it just yet. It’s not that bad a movie. The slit mouthed woman is uber creepy and there is a ton of fucking going on through out the film. And when I say plenty, I mean plenty. Almost too much. WHAT!! I know, how can there be too much fucking....My only complaint was that there was more ‘gettin it’ than actual horror. But it wasn’t gratuitous. All that Asian loving was relevant to the plot. I mean this movie started with a bang and ended with a bang. Literally. So if you like the whole angry ghost revenge thing, then give this one a look. Let me clarify something right fast however. There are two (two that I know of films) with this title. One is called, "CARVED: THE LEGEND OF THE SLIT MOUTHED WOMAN." That film is from 2007, this one that I’m tellin you about is from ‘05 and it’s a bit shorter. Just a quick side note in case you get cornfused. (And yes, I can spell confused. That was not a typo.) So let me break this down a little more for ya:

BODY COUNT: 1 just one here, but it’s implied that there’s more. But one was all I saw...

SEVERINGS : Nothing getting whacked here, a big fat 0.

SEX SCENES : 5!! A total of 5 fuck scenes. And they look pretty real too...

NUDITY NUMBER : 2 out of 5. Boobs, boobs and more boobs.

GORE SCORE: 0 Nada in the way of blood and guts. Kinda disappointing.

MY SCORE: 2 out of 5. Not quite middle of the road for me but still not a total waste. Points off for more sex than horror and points off ‘cause there was not gore and guts.
Well, there ya go. My take on "THE SLIT MOUTHED WOMAN." That’s all there is and there ain’t no more. Until next time, take care, stay a-scared and I am out.
　

Black eyed creepers!! by Sasha Slaughter

This week at Dead End Horror it's gonna be a bit of a mixed bag (As Zane calls it). We'll be talking black eyed children, a review of Masters of Horror episode one ( Incident On and Off a Mountain road), Zombie Zanes top summer themed movies, and his review of The Slit Mouthed Woman. Sit back, relax, && get scared =)

Let me tell you a little about the Black Eyed Kids (or B.E.K. for short). The B.E.K. phenomema supposedly started in 1998 when Brian Bethel, a jouarnalist from Abilene, Texas reportedly saw two children with black eyes around the age of 10-14 approach his car. He was writing a check when they knocked on his window and asked if he could take them home because they forgot their money to go to the movies. Immediately Bethal felt and overwhelming sense of fear and uneasiness.

Bethel also wrote that they looked normal and were dressed almost identical in hoodies and pants. Boy 1, as Bethel called him, was the leader of the two. He did all of the talking while Boy 2 looked around nervously and never spoke. Boy 1 repeatedly asked for Bethel to unlock the car doors and let them in. He said the boys diction and tone of voice sounded more like a young adult rather than a child, which frightened him. Boy 1 continued trying to coax him into unlocking the doors, and at one point Bethel found himself reaching to unlock the doors before quickly stopping himself. It wasn't until after he really got a good look at the two did he discover that both boys had completely black eyes. No iris, no pupils. Nothing at all, just pure black. It was then that Bethel realized that boy 2 was getting nervous and uneasy, possibly realizing that Bethel knew what was happening.

Boy 1 pleaded with Bethel saying: "WE CAN'T COME IN UNLESS YOU TELL US IT'S OKAY. LET ... US .... IN!" his voice full of anger and panic. Bethel quickly put the car and reverse and sped out of the parking lot, looking in his rearview mirror, but seeing nothing where the boys were standing. He posted the story of his encounter online, you can read it here (http://forum.prisonplanet.com/index.php?topic=154527.0)

Most accounts of B.E.K. are said to happen at peoples homes. There is a knock on the door and on the other side, a kid aged anywhere from 12-17 waiting patiently for you to answer. They have been said to dress in old fashioned clothes and also newer, more modern clothing. Some report a foul smelling odor emitting from the B.E.K. also. People have said that when they see the B.E.K. they sense an overwhelming feeling of dread, fear, and wrongess. The B.E.K. always ask to be invited inside claiming they are lost or are having car trouble. There are no credible accounts of anyone actually letting them in their home, due to the fear one feels while in their presence. Turning the B.E.Ks away almost always infuriates them and they appear to be more impatient and demand that you let them in. It is said that the B.E.Ks wont ever actually leave until the person they approach has closed the door or left the scene of the encounter.

More recently in 2009, a Marine stationed at Camp Lejeune, North Carolina reportedly had an encounter with the B.E.K. The Marine was hanging out in the barracks while most of the other Marines were at home or out drinking when he heard a knock at his door. At first he thought it was his roommate, but when he opened the door he found two children standing in the hallway. Immediately upon looking at the children, the Marine instantly felt the need to shut and lock the door. He noticed that the children had pitch black eyes and felt like they were sucking him in, trying to make him do what they asked of him. He instantly felt frightened for his life, and as soon as one of the children stepped towards him, panic took over and he shut and locked the door as fast as he could. He heard heard constant knocking on his door for the next 5 mintues, and then knocking on his window, and then it abruptly stopped. You can read his story here (http://www.ghosttheory.com/2010/03/15/the-strange-creepy-phenomena-black-eyed-kids).

There are very few reports of B.E.K. and they have only just surfaced in the last ten years. Some believe that the B.E.K. phenomenon is just an Urban Legend. Some imply that the B.E.K. could be ghosts or demons, more specifially vampires because the tales frequently emphasize the fact that the children must be admitted or invited into a home or vehicle, which is reminiscent of vampire legends. Evidence also suggests that B.E.K. are a human/alien hybrids, though nothing exists to support the claim.

So there you have it, a little info on the black eyed children. I'll admit, I'm a bit skeptical about the existence of B.E.K. It has all of the signs of an Urban Legend, but maybe I'm wrong. Maybe for saying that I just might encounter the B.E.K....Yikes! Scared??? Maybe you should be. If any of you ever happen to run into these mysterious black eyed children, tread carefully and whatever you do, don't let them in. Your life may depend on it.

Don't forget to check out Zanes top summer themed horror movies and his review of  The Slit Mouthed Woman, and of course, ALWAYS check back next week for new stuff!!

SEVEN NIGHTS OF HOTTER THAN HELL HORROR by: Zombie Zane

HOT HOT AND MORE HOT! Zombie Zane here with you again coming live and direct from the glass furnace otherwise known as the motherfuckin’ seven six one oh seven. Seeing how summertime is upon us, I had a great idea for this week’s shit. What I’m gonna do is give you guys a list of seven horror films that have a heat/summer related theme. Why seven? Well, I just thought it’d be cool to give you a movie a night to watch. There are seven days in the week hence, seven movies. One a night. Neato mosquito! Ok, enough of this foreplay, let’s get to my horror-a-thon, yes?

ZOMBIE ZANE’S SEVEN NIGHTS OF HOT HORROR

For night numero-uno how about the film, "STAND BY ME." It’s a 1986 horror film adapted from Mr. Horror himself the great Stephen King. Not really a horror film, but it kicks ass and it’s my list and my rules. How could you not like Lard Ass? LARD ASS! LARD ASS! LARD ASS! The vomit scene is a classic! And the leeches on that kid’s ball sac is also a memorable scene. This film gets a solid 4.5 out of 5.

On night number two of this hotter than hell horrorfest, I highly recommend the film "LAKE PLACID." Nothing better than a huge croc running around eating people. And ya got sweet Betty White cussing out deputies. Not sure if this movie takes place in the summertime but it’s setting is by a lake (hence the title) so fuck yeah it makes the list. I mean isn’t the lake a popular summertime hangout? Anyway, this film is full of great one liners, good gory stuff and it’s just a downright fun watch. A solid 4 out of 5 on the Zombie scale.

This wouldn’t be a good list if I didn’t include this film for night number three so here goes. "FRIDAY THE 13^th." (1980) A classic summertime slasher flick. Nothing says summer like a trip out to Camp Crystal Lake, right? Written by Victor Miller and directed by Sean S. Cunningham, this film went on to spawn a dynasty and become one of the most profitable slasher films of all time. A 3 out of 5 for me.

Wanna go camping? Not me. Not after seeing the fourth movie of the week. I like my asshole just the way it is. Night number four, I give you "DELIVERANCE." ...."BEND OVER AND SQUEAL LIKE A PIG FOR ME!!" ..."YOU GOT PURTTY LIPS!!" This 1972 film is about four businessmen who decide to canoe down this river in the Georgia wilderness and come across some pretty fucked up inbreeds. As you can tell from the opening of this paragraph, some ass raping occurs and well...you just gotta see it. This film is a 3.5 out of 5 for me.

We’re now at film number five of Zombie Zane’s Seven Nights of Hot Horror and this film oozes heat! 1996's FROM DUSK TILL DAWN. Robert Rodriguez directed, Zombie Zane approved. What’s not hot about Salma Hayek table dancing with a huge snake? And for you ladies out there, ya get some George Clooney. A great film all the way around! After all it was written by Quentin Tarantino. One of the coolest vampire movies ever, this film gets a perfect 5.

Almost done. This next film, movie number six is an old school classic. And when I say old school, I mean like 1950's old school. Hey now, no bitching. Older is sometimes cooler. THE CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON (1954) This is one of the classic horror films from Universal (Studios) and was one of the first, if not the first film to be done in 3D. If you haven’t seen it, then check it out. It’s dated but it has nostalgia attached to it and it does star the lovely Julia Adams. So peep it out and think about a time long gone. This monster movie gets a 3 out of 5 for me.

So if you’re still reading this, we are now at film number seven. The last film on the list is the 1995 horror film, "ICE CREAM MAN." Written and directed by Paul Norman (who, btw, directs porns! So cool points there) Maybe not a well known film, but it does have quite a cult following and it has some pretty cool parts so it makes the cut. I give this slasher film a 2.5 out of 5. Middle of the road but if you haven’t seen it, it’s worth it.

Well, there it is. Zombie Zane’s Seven Nights of Hot Horror. Be sure and check out Sasha’s stuff, she’s got a review of episode one of the Masters of Horror series, and an article about the black eyed children phenomenon. It’s all good stuff so read it. Until next time, take care, stay a-scared and I am out.