COME AND RIDE ON ME BROOMSTICK BY: SASHA SLAUGHTER

Happy Halloween creeps and creepettes! Thanks for stopping by Dead End Horror on this spooktacular 31st of October. I hope you enjoy what we've got in store for you! It's sure to make your skin crawl...or not. Either way, I promise you, it will more than likely be awesome! =) Today I'll be giving you a little taste of what I do best, and that's poetry my friends. I figured since it's Halloween I'd give you a few Halloween themed poems to sink your fangs into. So enough talk, let's get to it shall we?

THE WITCHES SACRIFICE

Bound thy feet and cut out thy tongue,

they must sacrifice him by midnight for their youth,

and so it shall be done.

They surround the cauldron as they chant their spell,

preparing the man in front of them,

as he stares at them like they've come straight from hell.

Midnight is coming, theres no time to waste,

they must brew their potion and perfect the taste.

The naked man in front of them attempts to escape,

but they've already begun to dismember him,

thus sealing his fate.

The clock strikes twelve and man knows that the time is here,

as the witches stand before him,

he no longer feels any fear.

They promise soon that he will be dead,

as they stir their potion and cut off his head.

The witches desired youth,

the ability to once again be young,

they did everything that the spell required,

and so it was done.

WOW!! How messed up am I?? haha! Well, I guess now that you've read these, it gives you more insight into my warped mind =). Anyway, I hope that you liked them and that they got you into the Halloween mood! They certainly got me into it. Since you're here creeping on my weirdness, how about you stop by and see what Zane's got on the slab for Halloween. It's sure to be creepy! And don't forget to check back on Tuesday for all new stuff here at Dead End Horror. And one more time, HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!

Sasha Slaughter

HALLOWEEN HUMPFEST BY: ZOMBIE ZANE

HAPPY HALLOWEEN MOTHERFUCKERS! Holy shit! Can you believe Halloween is here already?  This past weekend has been murder here at Dead End Horror. Literally. We raised the dead, got/gave some head. Plus we even had time to throw in an orgy with Satanists and a coven of witches. Sasha and I do like our drunk and debaucherous behavior. So enough about us. What about you?

Since today is Halloween and all, Sasha and I decided to do a mega Halloween post. We’re gonna be doing all kinds of cool shit here today. We got short stories, some Halloween poems, we’re gonna be sharing some of our own Halloween photos with y’all and I’m gonna be giving you my take on Chiller’s 13 Scariest Kids that aired over the weekend. So see, we have a ton of good shit for your ass today. So kick back and spend some time with us.

Okay, this post is gonna be a short story that I wrote a while back. I wrote this for Yahoo so it’s on the PG-13 level. But it’s still a good story if I do say so my self. It takes place in the 50's and it involves escaped mental patients. So see, fucking creepy creep already. Anyway, here’s my short story, enjoy....

OCTOBER 31, 1955

“...We interrupt your scheduled programing to bring you the latest on the three patients that escaped earlier today from The Johnson & Dane State Mental Hospital. Police have just discovered the bodies of three unidentified youths near Bronson Park. Authorities believe that these murders are in fact connected to the three escaped patients.

The investigating officers are not giving out much details at the moment except that the victims were found in their Halloween costumes but were missing their masks and Halloween candy pails. Authorities urge everyone to lock all doors and windows and stay inside as this is a very serious situation. Stay tuned as this tragic story continues to unfold. We now return you to your regular scheduled program already in progress....” 

“Glen, did you hear that?” Nancy asked. “Those poor kids. Maybe we should get out of here and head over to Freddy’s party.”

He took a break from trying to undo Nancy’s bra and sat up back in his seat. “C’mon kitty-cat, don’t be afraid. They said near Bronson Park. Not in Bronson Park. Besides, I didn’t hear any sirens, did you?”

“Of course you didn’t. You were too busy trying to get to second base.” Nancy said as she straightened out her blouse.

“Second base, hell, I was wanting to round third.”                               

She slapped playfully at his arm. “You pig! Is that all you think about?”

“No. I’m far more deeper than you give me credit for.”Glen said just as he let out a huge burp and blew it in her direction.

“Eww, you are such a pig! I don’t know why I even date you Glen Barlow.”

“Because you love me and one day we’re gonna be able to spend...” Glen froze. Outside of the passenger window was someone wearing a Bugs Bunny mask. A Bugs Bunny mask that was much to small for the face that it was trying to conceal.

“BEHIND YOU!” Was all that Glen was able to get out.

“What? There’s nothing there,” said Nancy as she peered out of the window.

“First you burp in my face, and now you’re trying to scare me. Not funny Glen. Not funny at all.”

“Nancy, I swear...there was...something there. It was somebody wearing a Bugs Bunny mask.”

“Bugs Bunny? Get real. If you’re just gonna play games then you can take me home.”

“Nancy, I’m not. I’m not playing games. I really saw something.”

Before she could retort, a loud, thud came from the roof of the car.

“See, I told you I saw somebody! I told you!” Glen said as he reached up to start the car. Another echoing thud was preceded by an intense banging coming from the rear of the car. It sounded like someone was pummeling the car with a bunch of sledgehammers.

“Get us out of here!” Nancy said hysterically.

“I’m trying, I’m trying! The damn car won’t start!”Glen said as he frantically turned the ignition over and over.

The two of them screamed and clutched each other tightly as the unrelenting  pounding intensified. Then the rocking started. Someone or something was rocking the car from side to side. Whatever it was, it seemed to have the strength of more than one man. Maniacal laughter could be heard from outside in the darkness.

 And just like that, the ferocious pounding and furious rocking ceased. Maybe it was just the calm before the storm. Or maybe it was a trick to get them out of the vehicle. The calm and silence made Glen and Nancy even more uneasy.

“I’m going to turn on the headlights,” said Glen.

He reached down, grabbed the small black knob and turned on the headlights. In front of the car stood three masked figures. One was wearing a Bugs Bunny mask, the other was wearing a Bozo the Clown mask, and the third figure was wearing a Frankenstein mask.

The three figures slowly approached the front of the car and stopped just a foot or so from the bumper. All three turned around in unison and pulled their pants down exposing three shinny white hinny’s.

“Trick or Treat!” the three of them yelled.

The three masked mooners turned back around and removed their masks and pulled up their pants. There stood Freddy, Jason, and of course Michael. All three were laughing hysterically.  Nancy and Glen looked at each other. They had just been tricked.  Happy Halloween indeed.

After a brief exchange of pleasantries and some colorful language, Freddy, Jason and Michael followed Glen and Nancy out of Bronson Park and back to the party that was still going on at Freddy’s.

A few minutes after all had left Bronson Park, three masked figures stepped out from the underbrush. They had been so close. They had been so close to getting some wheels. So close until a car load of three teens showed up forcing them back into the underbrush. After a few moments of staring out into the darkness, the three masked figures retreated back to their hiding place. Another car pulled up to where Glen and Nancy had parked and cut off it’s headlights.
                           
Scary, scary! Anyway, hope you enjoyed that bit of awesomeness. If you didn't fuck you and die. Not really. So, be sure and check back off and on today. Sasha and I will be posting throughout so you wanna be sure and see what we got next. Until then, take care, stay a-scared, and have a very safe and Happy Halloween!

FATHER ZANE

   

DRINK TIL YOU DROP WITH YOUR GIRL ON TOP BY: ZOMBIE ZANE

Hello Dead End Horror people that go weeks without showering and wear the same stinky clothes everyday. Do some fucking laundry and wash ya ass once in a while, yes? So, what’s good? I don’t know about you guys, but I could use a fucking drink. In fact, I could use a Halloween themed drink. I mean Halloween is breathing down our necks.

Since we all feel like kicking back  some of grandpa’s cough medicine, how about we talk some Halloween themed adult beverages. I’ve posted a few drink recipes during the last couple of weeks so why not add a few more. I mean after all, Halloween and drinking are two of my favorite things. Plus I’m a professional. SO let’s cut the foreplay and get fucked up! 

The first drink I wanna tell you about is called a, are you ready for this...Blowjob from a Ghost at Sundown in Salem’s Lot...Whatta fucking trippy title! Ya gotta try this one. Here’s all you need:

2oz. Curacao blue (Bols)
1oz   Bols Pumpkin Smash
1.5oz  Passion Fruit flavored Vodka
2oz   Sour Mix

Mix all ingredients into a shaker with ice, strain, and pour in a glass. Drink it up buttercup!

What about this one, this one is called Devils Candy. It’s a shooter and it will total you!

1 part Hot Damn
1 part sour Watermelon Pucker

Pour into shot glass, add a splash of Bacardi 151 and light it. Blow out the flame and take your shot. 

Next on the drink menu, we got a drink called Evil Spell.

1.5oz of Canadian Whiskey
4oz Apple Juice
1 apple slice
1 whole cinnamon stick
1/2oz Maple Syrup

Build over crushed ice in a highball glass. Stir with cinnamon stick until syrup dissolves. Garnish with the apple slice. This is a damn good beverage! 

Next up, let’s try a Sour Ghost.

2oz Vanilla Vodka
Ginger Ale
1oz Sour Mix

All you do is shake vodka and sour mix in cocktail shaker with ice, pour over a glass filled with crushed ice, fill the rest of the glass with the ginger ale. Easy, yes?

Okay, one more and then I’m hitting the bar. Not really. But I am going to the liquor store. The World Fuckin’ Series is on tonight and I wanna watch it. No offense to you dear readers, but the World Series trumps you guys.

Let’s end our chat with a Frog in a Blender!

1 cup of ice
2oz of Vodka
4oz of Cranberry Juice
2 lime wheels

Pour all ingredients into a blender, blend 3-5 seconds, pour into a chilled hurricane glass. And there ya go!

Well, I guess that’s all I got for you today. Be sure and see what Sasha’s doing. She may be drunk already. So until tomorrow, take care, stay a-scared and I am out! Peace peace and swamp feet grease!

ZOMBIES AND WITCHES CHIEFING TREES! BY: ZOMBIE ZANE

Hello Dead End Horror people that cause more drama and chaos by eating all the KFC and Burger King. Have you showered yet you funk-nasty piece of fuck? I doubt it. In any case, what’s good horror fans?

It’s been a busy as fuck weekend here at DEH. I’ve had a mini-Zombie Zane running amok for the last three days. He’s quite the handful. All he wants to do is knock over tombstones and eat. But then again, he is a mini zombie.

And my New York Football Giants pulled of a nice win against the Buffalo Bills! Plus the shit poke Cowgirls lost...again! Great football day for Zombie Zane! Before I start going on a football rant, I better stick to the topic at hand like what we have coming up for yous this week at DEH.

This week we’re gonna be doing a couple different things. Some of it will be Halloween themed shit, some of it will be some movie reviews, and some of it will be...I don’t know, maybe some more Halloween party songs and drink recipes. I do know that Sasha Slaughter is gonna be talking about ‘The Walking Dead’ so if you’re into that you’ll wanna be sure and check back throughout the week to see what she’s got to say about it. Hope everyone remembered to set the DVR last night. I did but I haven’t seen it yet.

What else was I gonna say? Fuck me, my memory is awful today! Well, whatever, probably wasn’t that important anyway.  Maybe it had to do with the series ‘American Horror Story.’ Which by the way is fuckin’ sox rockin! I’m all about it! It’s a must DVR in the Zombie Zane household.  Hope you Dead End Horror sheep are DVR-ing it too. If you ain’t, then you suck. Just kidding.

Well, I guess that’s all I got for ya. Sorry this post was a little vague, but due to lack of sleep and coffee, what can you do? The important thing is, that I got something out to you guys. I hope you have low standards like I do and are rarely disappointed.

So until next time, take care, stay a-scared and I am out! Peace peace and hair plastered to your fuckin’ forehead grease!

FLASH 'EM IF YOU GOT 'EM! BY: ZOMBIE ZANE

 Heya Dead End Horror sheep that eat salsa and are hand to hand fighter Roman soldier wannabe's. What's good? Anyway, this post is a bit late. I was gonna post this last night, but I had to sit up and watch my Yankees. Unfortunately for me, the season ended last night. It was a total heartbreaking loss. I'm not on suicide watch anymore, so I figured I'd post a little something. 

So what I'm gonna do today is, post this piece of flash fiction I wrote a month or so back. I know it's not really Halloween oriented, but what the fuck. Like I said, I didn't get around to anything new last night due to the game. But in any case, here's my flash fiction story. Enjoy!

It starts with a tiny little urge.  The urge grows into a small tingling sensation in the pit of my stomach.  That tingling sensation then grows into something larger, something you can’t control.  I feel as if I am having tiny little heart attacks.  My breathing speeds up and everything around me seems to dissolve into a paroxysm of nothingness. Then there’s this...this build up.  It starts small but grows and grows with each passing second.  And just when I think I can’t take anymore, there’s this  release...this bliss. And when it’s over, I want more.

I have to wait.  I have to wait until the night.  She only comes to me during the  night.  She always comes to me at my upstairs bathroom window.  She never enters without asking my permission first As soon as she enters,  I hear this singing, this sweet angelic singing.  It’s almost too much for me  to take in all at once.

After tonight, I’ll be with her forever.  I know what she is and I don’t care.  I know that my soul is going to be damned and that I’ll never enter the pearly gates. Big deal. I’m going to be with her.  It’s all about being with her. I don’t care about my job, I don’t care about the wife and the two kids, I don’t care about the mortgage, I don’t care about anything.  Not anymore.

She’s going to sink her fangs deep into my neck, I’m going to be sick for a little while, but after...after, I’ll be with her.  Be with her forever.  We’ll be together and that’s all that matters.  Before you judge me, think of this...What would you do for a lifetime and more of complete and utter bliss?  What price would you pay? Would you trade your soul too?

Not bad, huh? By the way, flash fiction shit is some of the hardest writing I ever had to do. So don't expect much more of that. Well, I guess that's all the news that's fit to print. Be sure and see what Sasha has cooking as well. She's always ready for some extra dinner guests. Until next time, take care, stay a-scared, and I am out! Peace peace and pumpkin grease!