Fighting a Wolf with Small Vodka Bottles and my Large Ball Sac By: Zombie Zane

Heya Dead End Horror fans that strip naked and answer the door when the pizza guy comes. What’s good? Well, it’s motherfucking Monday and that means it’s back to work. This week at Dead End Horror Sasha and I will be talking about horror movies from the 2000's.

Fuck it, we’ve done the 80's, 90's, and well, time to hit the 00's. Why the hell not? I’ll be doing a list of lesser known films from the 00's, and maybe a couple of movie reviews. Sasha, who the hell knows what she’s gonna come up with? But as usual, she’ll rock the shit out of it.

By the way, have you guys been watching ‘The Walking Dead?’ Man, last night’s episode was fucking killer! There’s only like three episodes left so you know it’s about to get even better. Fucking Shane is such a d-bag! But I love his character. I kinda dig Dale too. I want him to come over and tell me a story or something. He seems so wise.

Speaking of shows, anybody else watching ‘The River?’ I’m not sure I’m into this one or not. I’ve seen all but the newer episode and the verdict is still out. It’s okay, but as of now I’m not like blown away or anything. Not like I was during ‘American Horror Story.’ That was a bad motherfucker right there, Jack. 

Itching for a scratch! Why I typed that, I don’t know. But it sounded cool. Okay, I guess that’s all I got for you today. Be sure and come back all week to see what the fuck we’re doing with our horror movies from the 00's. Or 2K horror movies. However you wanna say/write it.

Until tomorrow, take care, stay a-scared, and I am out. Sasha and I are about to go sprinkle the infield. See ya tomorrow!

Suck Me Once, Suck Me Twice By: Zombie Zane

Step up to the plate and get you some! What’s good Dead End Horror fans? I know that this is Sasha’s day to post, but due to unseen circumstances I’m filling in for today. We’ve had some technical issues over the last few days so that’s why we haven’t posted since Tuesday. One more note, this is supposed to be horror from the 90's but I did this on the fly so...take what you get.

Don’t worry we’ve got shit under control and we’ll be back on schedule next week. So sit down or lie down either way make yourself comfy and hang out with me while I tell you about this movie I watched last night.

“Vamp” is a 1986 horror movie about vampires. No fucking shit with a title like that. Anyway, it’s about a group of frat boys that end up at a strip joint that is full of vampire strippers. Kinda like ‘Dusk til Dawn.’ And oh yeah, you know that tall chick from the Mad Max movie, she’s the head vampire. Grace Jones is her name! I just remembered it.

Like it’s a total cheesy movie but it was fun to watch. If you’re in the mood for a serious type of thing than I’d advise you seek your horror entertainment elsewhere. But if you just wanna hang out and eat junk food and have a good time by all means give it a shot. 

Sometimes it’s just fun to kick back and enjoy some goofy horror. Horror doesn’t always have to be all serious and shit. I mean don’t get me wrong, I like the serious ones. I usually watch those the most. But like everybody else sometimes you just need a little mindless drivel. And “Vamp” is totally perfect for that.

Anyway, I’ll be back tomorrow with a nice little list of my favorite horror movies from the 1990's. I realize that “Vamp” is from the 80's so please hold all comments. I kinda did this post on the fly so that’s why it’s not on topic with our weekly topic. But something is better than nothing, yes? 

Well, I guess that’s all the news that’s fit to print. Be sure and come back tomorrow and see what’s going on. Until then, take care, stay a-scared and I am outta here. Off like a stinky pair of thong underwear!

DIRTY DANCING WITH ZOMBIE ZANE by: Zombie Zane

YEP-YEP YEP-YEP-YEP let’s do this thang! Zombie Zane here stepping in for the lovely Sasha Slaughter this week as I review episode three in the Masters of Horror series. So kick on back, make yourself uncomfortable and let me tell you my take on episode three, "Dance of the Dead."

As I mentioned, ‘Dance of the Dead’ is the third installment in the Masters of Horror series. It’s directed by Tobe Hooper (ya gotta know that name by now) and written by Richard Matheson. It’s original air date was November 11, 2005. This episode stars Robert Englund (now you better know that name) and a couple of other people that I don’t really know about. Except for Ryan McDonald. I do know him.

This episode takes place in a postapocalyptic world just after World War III. The story revolves around a young waitress named Peggy who decides to rebel against her over protective mother by going with a group of punk looking kids for a night at the Doom Room. Which the afore mentioned Robert Englund is the MC and owner of. Now the Doom Room just ain’t your typical postapocalyptic club. Hell to tha NAW! This certain club has a different kinda of entertainment. And no, I’m not talking zombie lap dances. Although, that may be cool. Just thinking....Ok, I got off point. Sorry. We’ll delve into zombie lap dances another time. Back to the Doom Room. As I was saying, this isn’t your ordinary club. The entertainment is a bunch of dancing reanimated corpses! Pretty neat, yes? And Peggy gets another HUGE jolt when she recognizes that one of the dancing dead is somebody from her past...(Cue the dramatic music now.) I could tell you who it is, but that would fuck up the whole episode. It’s better to have just enough than to have to much. That’s my opinion in anyway. So if you wanna find out who the person from Peggy’s past is, than I suggest you hit Netflix and give episode three a gander. One more little tidbit about this episode: Smashing Pumpkins frontman Billy Corgan scored the episode, so if you’re a fan of him, you’ll wanna check that out as well.

Ok, that’s the plot, I guess it’s time for my rating. I give this episode a 2.75 out of a possible 5. Not my favorite in the series, there are worse ones. And we’ll be reviewing those as well. I think next week Sasha will be back doing this part and the next episode in the series is ‘Jenifer.’ At least I think that’s the next one. I’m too lazy to look it up just now. Sorry.

Ok, there ya have it. Episode three in the Masters of Horror series. Until next time, take care, stay a-scared and I am out.