SEVEN NIGHTS OF BAD HORROR MOVIES AND BAD SEX WITH ZOMBIE ZANE

YEPPA-YEPPA-YEPPA!! Let’s do it one more time! Zombie Zane here once again coming to ya live and direct from the heat infested seven six one oh seven. This week at DEAD END HORROR we’re talking about the best of the worst horror films. I mean who doesn’t enjoy a campy B movie from time to time? I know I do. So in lieu of our topic, I decided to give you guys a list of seven movie that suck so bad ya gotta see ‘em. Again, I’m listing seven so yous can watch one a night. It’s way to daunting a task to try and watch all of them in one day. You’d get sick of it and then the list would be shitty and man, it’d just take all the fun outta it. So, one movie a night is the best way to roll with this. Trust me. I’m an expert. So without further ado, let’s get to listing.
　
ZOMBIE ZANE’S SEVEN NIGHTS OF THE BEST WORST HORROR MOVIES
　
Night number one I’m giving you the movie, "BUBBA HO TEP." This 2002 film stars Mr. Bruce Campbell as Elvis (now in a nursing home) And Ossie Davis as a black JFK. The two team up and try to stop a soul sucking mummy who is terrorizing the residents in the nursing home. This film is funny as hell and I give it a solid 3 out of 5. A great way to kick off the seven nights of horrible horror.

For night number dos, how about the film, "HUMANOIDS FROM THE DEEP." HFD is a 1980 horror/sci-fi monster movie that has plenty of gore, plenty of nudity and plenty of laughable moments. This film is a total shit bomb but it’s totally worth wasting 80mins of your life on. ‘Humanoids From the Deep’ gets a solid 4 out of 5 on the Zombie scale. You’ll love it!

Okay, night number three I’m gonna give you the movie, "THE SLAUGHTER" Now this isn’t the blaxploitation one from the 70's. I’m talking the horror movie from 2006. It’s about six college friends who are hired to clean up an abandoned house and unknowingly disturb the tomb of an ancient demon. This film is a total piece of fuck but it’s got nudity, gore, demons and zombies. What’s not to like? Total crap but very amusing. A 3 out of 5 for me on this one.

So, enjoying the list so far? No? Okay, I’ll try and do better on the next list. But if you are still reading this, let’s get to night number four. How about the film, "THE TOXIC AVENGER." This film was released in 1984 by Troma Entertainment. It’s about a janitor who gets pushed into a dump truck full of toxic waste and then come back as a toxic super hero. Need I say more? This film has spawned 3 sequels, a musical production (stage) and a children’s cartoon. Now don’t let that fool you. This film is rated R and is in no way intended for kids. A total pile of shit, but it gets a 3 out of 5 for me.

On night number 5, the film of the evening is a 1954 classic, "THEM." Giant, mutant ants. That’s all I gotta say here. A total monster movie from the 50's this film will make you laugh. Totally corny and oh-so dated, this movie HAD to be on the list. Go watch it. It’s funny. 4 out of 5 for the giant ants!!

The six film that makes this list is the 1968 shit pile, "NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD." Ok, I know I’m on hallowed ground here, but let’s face it. Not a good film at all. But isn’t that the point of this list? It’s a laugh riot pretty much throughout. Ya got the black dude acting like Obama, ya got the freaked out white girl (Barbara) and a bunch of flesh eating zombies. And let us not forget the little zombie girl munching on her parental units. This film eats! I give it a nice 3 out of 5. Sasha is reviewing this film by the way so make sure you go by and check out her stuff after reading this article of course.

We have reached the end. One more night to go. I wonder if you’re still reading this...In any case, if you are, here’s the final film, "THE MANSTER." (1959) This is a total piece of shit but well worth wasting an hour and a half of your time. It’s about a doctor who injects a reporter with a serum that causes the poor reporter to sprout two heads. No, not those heads below the waist. Don’t be a perv. In any case it’s a race against time on who will stop the manster. The crazy scientist? Or the police? Watch it and find out. "THE MANSTER" gets a nice 2.75 for me.

Well, there ya have it. Seven nights of the best worst horror films as told to you by yours truly, Zombie Zane. Be sure and check out our other shit as well. Until next time, take care and stay a-scared and I am out.