CHARLIE BROWN IS AN ASSHOLE! By: SASHA SLAUGHTER

Hey there, hi there ho there...again! It's your good friend Sasha Slaughter && I'll be reviewing the movie, “Trick 'r Treat” for you freaks and geeks! Trick 'r Treat is an American horror film that was written and directed by Michael Doughtery and it was based on his short film, “Season's Greetings.” The film was supposed to be released in in 2007 but was pushed back and was eventually released straight to DVD and Blu-ray on October 6, 2009.

“Trick 'r Treat” is an anthology of four Halloween related stories. The one thing they have in common that ties the stories together is Sam, a mysterious pint sized trick or treater wearing shabby orange pajamas and a burlap sack over his head. He appears in all four stories as a friendly reminder to those who break Halloween tradition. Here we go!

The story begins with married couple Emma and Henry who have just returned from a Halloween party. They've set up numerous ghost-scarecrows for Halloween in their yard. On the way into the house, Emma tries to blow out one of the jack-o'-lantern's by the fence and Henry tells her not to do it because it's against tradition. Emma blows it out anyway and starts bitching about all of the decorations and how they need to be taken down before her mother gets there in the morning.

Henry says he'll do it tomorrow but Emma tells him he'll sleep all day and play video games so she'll do it herself. Henry goes inside to wait for Emma to come to bed. Emma is outside taking down the scarecrows and as she begins to take one down, an unknown assailant attacks her and slits her throat with a knife-like pumpkin lollipop. Henry falls asleep and wakes up sometime later. He notices that Emma isn't with him and goes outside to find....

Our second story takes us into the world of Steven Wilkins, the school principal who moonlights as a serial killer. Wilkins comes home to see Charlie, a neighborhood boy, on his porch stealing candy. Mr. Wilkins tells him it's ok and tells Charlie to stay a while. Charlie eats the stolen candy while Wilkins talks about the tradition of Halloween. Shortly after eating the candy, Charlie begins to vomit copious amounts of blood.

Wilkins tells him that here is another tradition that people forget about Halloween, and that's to check their candy before they eat it. Wilkins drags Charlie's dead body into his house and into the backyard. He buries Charlie, along with another dead body, in his yard but soon has a run in with his neighbor Mr. Kreeg. The neighbor asks what Wilkins is doing and jokingly asks if he is hiding dead bodies.

He then asks why Wilkins is in a hole in the backyard. He tells Kreeg that they are having septic problems and Kreeg asks if that was why their backyard smells like a dead whore. Mr. Wilkins finishes burying the bodies and goes into the house where his son Billy asks if they can carve a pumpkin now. Wilkins takes him into the basement and on the table is....

Our third story begins with five school children Macy, Chip, Sara, Schrader, and Rhonda. Four of the children are going from home to home asking if they can borrow any extra jack-o'-lantern's. They reach Rhonda's house and see that her front yard if full of them. They ask her to borrow some and her and the other four children venture to an abandoned rock quarry. Macy tells the children the tale of the tragic bus accident that happened one Halloween afternoon 30 years before.

The story is that a school bus containing 8 mentally disturbed children who had to be chained to their seats were on their way home when the driver took a different route. The parents of the children could no longer bear the burden of their mentally ill children so they pooled their money together to pay the bus driver to kill them. As the bus driver checked all of their chains, one of the children escaped and got into the drivers seat and drove the bus into the lake.

The bus driver was the only survivor and was never heard from again. Macy planned to take 8 pumpkins down to the quarry to remember them. So Macy, Sara, and Schrader rode the elevator down and Rhonda and Chip were the next to go down. When Rhonda and Chip reached the bottom they heard screams and Rhonda went to investigate. She saw Schrader's mask floating in the water and then three people started running towards her wearing chains and masks.

Rhonda ran and tripped and hit her head. When she woke up the kids told her it was all a joke. That is until Macy kicked a pumpkin into the water. They started hearing voices and strange noises. The kids started screaming as the children that died in the bus accident came out of the water and attacked them. Rhonda was the only one who...

Our final story takes us into a costume shop with Laurie, her sister, and their friends. They are trying on costumes and recruiting people to come to a Halloween party in the woods. Laurie stays behind at the party in town while her sister and friends go to the woods. Her sister calls and tells her to get there soon. Laurie tells her she'll be there as she catches someone in a dark costume staring at her from across the street.

Laurie leaves and walks into the woods where the party is being held. She runs into the man in the black costume who is a vampire, he pushes her into a tree and proceeds to bite her neck. Moments later at the party, a body wearing a red cape, which is what Laurie was wearing, falls from the trees. Everyone stops and Laurie's sister lifts the cape to reveal the vampire underneath.

Laurie appears seconds later and is scolded for being late. The vampire asks for help and one of Laurie's friends takes off the mask and reveals that is Steven Wilkins (the school principal) and then takes out his fake fangs. Laurie tells Wilkins that it's her first time when all of the girls at the party start transforming into werewolves and she starts eating him.

The conclusion of the anthology takes us to Mr. Kreeg's house. He hates everything that has to do with Halloween and enjoys scaring the local children when they come to his door and stealing their candy. Kreeg's dog Spite hears noises in the house and leads him upstairs to his bedroom where he sees a pumpkin on a night stand and the words "Trick or Treat" written all over his walls.

He is standing by his bed when he gets stabbed in the leg. He falls to the floor and Sam comes out from underneath the bed and the two start to fight. Crag tries to shoot Sam and shoots the pumpkin instead. The light goes out in the pumpkin and Sam disappears. Crag starts walking down the stairs when he trips on candy that was lying on the steps. He tumbles to the bottom and the two struggle again, and this time Crag manages to pull the sack off of Sam's head, revealing his head to look like a cross between a jack-o-lantern and a skull. Crag throws him against the wall and sees his neighbor Mr. Wilkins outside and yells for help but Wilkins goes inside his house.

Sam attacks him again and Crag gains the upper hand and shoots Sam, seemingly killing him. As Crag dials 911 Sam attacks him again, stabbing at him with a large pumpkin lollipop. It lodges into a candy bar that was lying on Kreeg's chest. After finally receiving his treat, Sam eats the candy bar and then leaves the house. Meanwhile, the pictures burning slowly in the fire show a class photo of the children that died in the "School Bus Massacre", and the bus driver was Crag himself.  Later that night, after being bandaged from his encounter with Sam, Crag answers the door to trick or treaters and gives them candy. While outside he sees Sam go to Emma and Henry's  house and then...

And then?? I guess you'll have to watch “Trick 'r Treat” on Netflix and find out huh?? I don't even know where to start about this movie!! The fact that it was an anthology of four different stories but somehow they were all linked together by Sam was awesome. And Sam was sooo freaking cute!! Walking around with his big 'ol pumpkin/skull head and his little orange footie pajamas.

If I ever saw him, I'd probably wanna give him a hug! Wow, that was random, back to my thoughts about the movie. I liked how all of the stories were separate but they all tied in together somehow, other than with Sam. There was a shit ton of blood, some boob shots, awesome death scenes (You ever seen anyone get killed with a lollipop?? It was awesome!) and werewolves.

OMIGOD the werewolves were just great and totally unexpected. I never saw that coming! I was so surprised. The scene where the girls turned into werewolves was probably the absolute best werewolf transformation sequence ever. I mean, they just ripped their skin off and there was fur underneath...and the eyes and fangs...Ugh! It was incredible really.

The movie was very well scripted and had just a touch of humor and some irony thrown in, which you don't see too often in the horror genre. Overall I'd give this movie a 5 out of 5. Now I very rarely give perfect scores, but this movie rocked my fuzzy Steeler socks. The plot was just amazing. I don't think I've ever seen anything like it. I would most definitely recommend this movie to anyone, it's perfect to watch on a Halloween night. And since you're here creeping, stop by Zane's part of world and see what he's got on the slab. You'll be glad you did!