TAKING IT IN THE ASS BY: ZOMBIE ZANE

Hello Dead End Horror people that are grosser than gross and go out in public looking and smelling like Pig Pin from the Peanuts. What’s good? So it’s been a minute or two since I’ve reviewed a movie. Lately, in lieu of Halloween, I’ve been doing Halloween themed shit. I hope you’ve been reading.

Anyway, I figured for today’s post, I’d go back to my roots and do a movie review. Now this film I’m about to talk about has not one fucking thing to do with Halloween. But whatever. It’s still a cool ass movie that I think you may enjoy. I mean you could watch this motherfucker on Halloween if you were so inclined. It’s bloody, it’s got some boobs and shit and it’s down right fun. So, let’s cut the foreplay and let me tell you about, “Evil Aliens.” 

“Evil Aliens” is a 2006 British horror/comedy directed by Jake West. It stars Emily Booth, Christopher Adamson, and Norman Lovett. Who are these people? Fuck if I know. Anyway, it runs just over 85mins and it can be found on Netflix. Not on instant watch, but you can do the mail thing if you wanna see it.

So, like this film kinda reminded me of, “Evil Dead.” Ya know, kinda campy and rather B-movie-ish. But like ‘Evil Dead’ this thing was fucking entertaining as hell! Basically it’s about the host of a TV show (Booth) who is trying to save her job. She hears about a place where a supposed alien abduction and impregnation took place.  She totally is a disbeliever but she needs to keep her job.  

So she hires some people to play the aliens and she plants some bullshit evidence. Her plan is cool in the fan until the real E.T.’s show up and decide to fuck up everything. Did I say ‘up’ a lot in that sentence? Whatever. But yeah, the real aliens show up and hence begins the battle for survival.

Man, I really kinda dug this film. It was silly and campy but I’m a huge fan of “Evil Dead’ so it was awesome to me. There was plenty of blood and various limbs getting ripped off. In one scene, this alien takes a severed arm and backhands the shit out of this chick! Fucking funny! This movie is filled with shit like that. I won’ tell you all the cool parts, ya just gonna have to see for yourself.

And yes, there was some anal probing going on as well. OUCH! Invasion of the stinky winker. I wonder why aliens wanna jab stuff in our assholes? We have doctors that already do that. But for real, haven’t you ever wondered that too? 

Okay, let me give you some scores...I haven’t done this in a while either.

GORE SCORE 3.75 out of 5.

MY SCORE 3 out of 5

NUDITY NUMBER 2.5 out of 5

See, well worth a watch. In any case, I guess that’s all I got for you today. Be sure and see what Sasha is up to. She may give you an anal probe if you’re lucky. Until next time, take care, stay a-scared, and I am out! Peace peace and anal probe grease!