BANG BANG BANG UP YOUR ASS!!

YO-YO-YO AND HELLO!! Zombie Zane here once again coming at ya ass live and very direct from the seven six one oh seven. How the hell are ya? Most likely you’re bored outta ya gord if you’re sitting here reading this. But in any case since you are here let me tell ya what we got going on this week at DEAD END HORROR. This week, Sasha and I are doing the serial killer thing. Not meaning that we’re doing the killing. Just the watching. Wait, Am I fucking up this monologue? Probably. I don’t even know if monologue is the right term. I think the term I’m looking for is introduction. Whatever the fuck. Let me start again. This week Sasha and I are covering the topic of serial killers. There, that sounded better, yes. So we decided to watch the film, "8213 GACY HOUSE." Seeing how John Wayne Gacy was a bad mo fo in the world of serial killers, we decided that this would be a perfect film to go with our whole serial killer thing ya dig. So if you haven’t seen this movie or even if you have, kick on back for a sec and let me tell you what I thought about "8213 GACY HOUSE.."

First off, it’s an Asylum film. SO that should tell you something. Secondly, You can expect a ‘Blair Witch’ or a ‘Paranormal Activity’ kinda deal. Ya know, the over-played new found footage shit. So if those kinda films aren’t your thing, then don’t bother. But please stay and read this review. God that sounded desperate. But stay anyway. PLEEEEASE!!!

"8213 GACY HOUSE" is a 2010 made in the USA horror film by the Asylum. (The Asylum is an American film studio and distributor that produces low budget films usually in the horror genre.) "GACY HOUSE" was released in September 28, 2010. It runs just about 90 minutes and can be found on Netflix.

Basically the plot breaks down like this: A group of paranormal investigators decide to wire and check out the house that was built on the site where the original John Wayne Gacy house stood. The film shows you what happened that night to the investigators as they did their investigations. As I said earlier, it’s one of those lost/found footage film type of deals. So that being said, I was really expecting more from this film. I saw ‘Paranormal Entity’ (also by the Asylum) and really liked it. But this movie really fell short. It was slow, it took forever before the really good shit happened and it just didn’t do that much for me. There were a couple of cool scenes but most of those happened in the last ten minutes of the movie. Sasha and I spent a good deal of the movie debating whose boobs were bigger. Hers or the psychic girl in the movie. I voted Sasha. I’ve seen both so I can judge fairly. Point being, this movie really didn’t hold my attention. I mean none of the killings were ever really shown, they were just rather implied. There were medical reports to read at the end of the film telling you what happened to the investigators. Most died of asphyxiation, except for one poor bastard who died by taking it up the ass by the ghost. That ghost went rumph-rumph-rumph up his ass!! I wonder if the ghost bothered to use KY?

Moving right along. Let me break this down a bit further for you:

BODY COUNT - 7 - A good number but you didn’t see any of the killings...

SEVERINGS - 0 - A big fat nada!

NUDITY NUMBER - 0 out of 5. Nothing here but a few sideways titty shots and a couple of quick glances.

SEX SCENES - 0 - Just a quick scene of some dry humping.

GORE SCORE - 0 out of 5. Not much here either y’all. Very disappointing.

MY SCORE - 1.75 out of 5. BORING!! That’s all I need to say here.
Well, there ya go. My take on "8213 GACY HOUSE." Maybe you’ll watch it, maybe not. But until next time, take care, stay a-scared and I am out!