A killer clown and ghost dingus! by Sasha Slaughter

*Insert witty introduction here*....Now that thats over with, this week on Dead End Zombie Zane and I are talking serial killers!!! dun dun dun. Since our topic is serial killers, we decided *well, Zane decided* that we'd watch 8213: Gacy House and do a movie review, so don't forget to check out his movie review too!

The movie is about six paranormal investigators who decide to go to the former Gacy house and investigate. The original house was demolished on May 3, 1979 and a new one was built on the property three years later. The movie is kind of reminiscent of The Blair Witch Project and Paranormal Activity, which ehh kind of made the movie suck a little, but I digress. Anyway, the group sets up all of their equipment and starts filming in various rooms of the house. The psychic *who literally appears out of nowhere* does some sort of seance to provoke the spirit of Gacy and makes an offering of a 15 year old boys soccer t-shirt...WHAT???

A few creepy things happen, they think they see a shadow in one of the bedrooms, some slamming doors and a picture falls of the wall, a swinging lamp...no big deal. After a while they are going over evidence when they come across an EVP of something saying "Kiss my ass", which I thought was laughable, but whatever. The psychic chick says that they need to leave the house right away because the spirit is going to start harming someone, but they stay anyway. The aforementioned psychic chick is using Dowsing rods to find the spirit and ends up getting her ass slammed into a door and what looked like a tooth mark or puncture wound on her chest *which I was totally waiting for some silicone to start seeping out btw*

One of the girls gets long scratches down her back, and she accuses the guy that she dry humped in the bedroom *nope, no sex...just a side boob shot and a dry hump* of scratching her, but the psychic tells her that it looks like scratches from a demon. The girl freaks out and runs outside and locks herself in the van. The girl in the van has a camera and hears someone or something pounding on the outside of it..a few minutes later whatever it was seems to open the van doors and drag her out of the van, thats the end of blondie.

Some more weird stuff happens..shadows, whispers, being touched and grabbed. Everyone starts freaking out and crying and making weird faces and mouth breathing at the camera and wanting to go home, but still they stay and continue investigating. One of the camera guys is messing with some camera equipment in the hallway when a black and white figure appears on one of the cameras, and it kinda looks like it's naked...or partially naked...or maybe wearing just a shirt and underpants..Zane swore he saw dingus...Idk! It runs toward the guy and drags him into a room and slams the door. Thats the end of camera guy.

The psychic chick is doing another senace to keep the evil spirit from following them when she gets attacked and has her shirt ripped off...yes, total boob shot. The black and white figure appears again *clothed this time* and straight up kills *although they don't show it, it's implied* the psychic chick and bug eyed girl, the camera guy escapes and runs into another room and keeps trying to open doors instead of going out the window..duhh!!! The camera guy runs to get Franklin *the old guy* so they can get out, but before they can, the old guy is thrown across the room. The spirit then picks up the little camera boy and tosses him into the air while simultaneously ripping off his pants and dragging him into a room. Yikes! Horny ghost anyone??? The last two try to save the camera boy by using an axe to break the door when the old guy just falls and stops moving. There were some creepy whispers and shadows and the last person tries to escape, but the ghostie gets him.

At the end of the movie were the autopsy reports from the six that were found dead, with the girl in the van still missing and considered to be a suspect in the murders. The causes of death ranged anywhere from cardiac problems, to hyperthermia to aspyhxiation with some massive trauma to the rectal wall...EWWW! Overall, I'd give the movie a 1.5 out of a possible 5. The movie was ok, it didn't start to get remotely good until almost the end. The cast annoyed me, the acting was not that great and a bit over exaggerated at times and the girl with the bug eyes freaked me out. There was barely any blood, unless you count some blood smeared on the psychics fake boob, which I do not...no gore, no actual death scences, death was just sort of implied really. So boo to this snooze fest!! Don't forget to check out Zombie Zanes article and his review of 8213: Gacy House. Check back next week!! =)