I'M THE GHOST WITH THE MOST By: Zombie Zane

Coming to ya live and direct from the mutha’fuckin’ Seven-Six-One-Oh-Seven. Hope all is well in your corner(s) of the world. As for me, I’m ab-fab! So this week Sasha and I are talking ghosts. She just wrote a pretty kick ass article on Banshees so, if you haven’t yet, I suggest you go and peep it out. So in lieu of our ghostly topics, I decided to list my top ten all time fave ghost movies and review one of my favorite ghost movies ever. Sound good huh? Well of course it is, I thought of the idea. So let’s cut the foreplay and get to the sweet shit. The top ten ghost movies of all time are as follows:
　
THE TOP TEN GHOST MOVIES OF ALL TIME
10. SESSION 9 (2001)
9. GHOST STORY (1981)
8. THE SHINING (1980)
7. THE ENTITY (1983)
6. THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT (1999)
5. CANDYMAN (1992)
4. POLTERGEIST (1982)
3. THE AMITYVILLE HORROR (1979)
2. 13 GHOSTS (2001)
1. PARANORMAL ACTIVITY (2009)

Good list huh? I know it is. I made it up. Ok, so know that you know my numero uno ghost film. Let me take a sec and give you my take on the film "PARANORMAL ACTIVITY."

"PARANORMAL ACTIVITY" is a 2009 made in the USA horror film written and directed by Oren Peli. It’s debut was in Oct. 2007 at Screamfest Film Festival and was released nationwide on Oct. 16, 2009. This film was a big earner at the box office pulling in damn near 110 million green backs and almost 200 million worldwide. That’s a shit load of money considering the cost to make the film was only $15,000 making ‘Paranormal Activity’ one of the most profitable movies ever. Now these numbers may be a bit off, but they’re pretty fuckin close. So now that you know a bit of the history, wanna hear some more? Cool. I shall continue.

The film is centered around a young couple, Katie and Micah, who are harassed by a wicked entity in their home. The film is presented in the ‘found footage’ style from a video camera set up by the couple in an attempt to document the thing that’s fucking with them. After a couple of scary ass events, Katie and Micah then seek the help of this psychic, Dr. Fredrichs, but he’s just a psychic and not a fucking ghostbuster so he really can’t do much. (Plus he runs from the house like a bitch after feeling a heavy aura of doom.) But he gives them a number of another doctor by the name of Dr. Averies. The thing is, Averies is overseas somewhere and can’t be reached by phone. In the meantime, the occurrences get worse and worse until finally it’s just a full blown shit storm. And the ending, HOLY SHIT the ending! WOW! I would tell you a bit more, but I don’t wanna fuck up your movie watching experience. Ya just gotta see it. This is one sweet film. And it wigged me the fuck out! It really did. There’s a couple of scenes in there that are total jaw dropping. This movie will straight scare you. I watched this thing through the first time and I was like glued to the TV screen. I didn’t even get up to smoke. I was riveted! Fuckin’ riveted! Trust me on this one horror fans. This is one of those movies that you may want to sleep with a light on afterward. I did.

Ok, time for the rundown: And I added a new section! It’s my recommended snack and beverage while watching this movie. This may be a lil’ on the gay side, so if it sucks, I won’t do it anymore
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RECOMMENDED SNACK AND BEVERAGE - I went with some carrot sticks and some hummus...Really?? Fuck that shit! I went movie theater style baby! ACT 2 Movie theater butter popcorn, big ass bag of M &M’S and some ice cold Dr. Pepper. Hell to the yeah!!

BODY COUNT - 1 (A small number, but don’t let that fool ya.)

SEVERINGS - 0 - (I know, very little death, no amputations, again, don’t let that fool ya.)

NUDITY NUMBER - 0 (No boobs, no panty hamster, no bum-bums, just terror.)

SEX SCENES - 0 - (No humping in this one, but there are a few sexual references.)

OTHER COOL SHIT - This movie is full of cool shit. Now usually I give you some specifics here, but in this case, I’m not. I just want you to see it for yourself. All I’ll say is, there are some uber-freaky deaky scenes in this thing.

HATERADE - Nothing. I can honestly say there was nothing about this film that I hated. So no haterade for now.

GORE SCORE - 0.5 out of 5 (Nothing really to mention, there’s a bit o’ blood and that’s it)

MY SCORE - 4.5 out of 5 (One quick note: This movie has 2 alternate endings so if you have the Blu-Ray release (That’s the one I have) you can see ‘em that way. Or you can go online and find them there. Anyway, 4.5 out of 5, I can’t recommend this movie enough. I’ve seen it three times myself. And each time you watch it, you see some shit that you missed the first go-around. I fucking loved this film. And it is a TOTAL MUST WATCH!

Well, that about does it. There’s my take on ‘Paranormal Activity.’ Come back next week and see what I got fo ya. So until then, take care, stay a-scared, and I am out.